“Everything that needs to be said has already been said. But, since no one was listening, everything must be said again.” – Andre Gide
Shared with dVerse – Spanish Lira
inspired by this post at Spinning Visions
Today I’m feeling:
A bit stronger than yesterday. My exercise was easier and it put me in a bright mood which I hope continues throughout the day. I know I’m tired but I don’t have the feeling yet. Perhaps because I’m ‘on-the-go’. If I sat and relaxed somewhere it might be a different matter but the plan is for no relaxation today!
Today I’m grateful for:
My lip balm. One time a year I need it, just when the air cools and gets drier.
The best thing about today was:
In my first class, Baibua was wearing a bootleg Iron Maiden sweatshirt. Thailand has lots of knockoffs like this and people wearing them have no idea what they mean or represent. Anyway, I asked her if she liked Iron Maiden to which she just looked at me blank-faced. Namfon joined and she couldn’t understand either. Eventually, I pointed to the shirt and even knowing what I was talking about neither of them knew what Iron Maiden was. Well, let’s do some teaching. I searched YouTube for The Number of the Beast video and blasted it through the room speaker to everyone’s laughter and my pleasure. What a way to start the school day.
Also, watching some of my students playing football after classes finished and chatting, and playing with everyone around. It was a good atmosphere, everyone happy and having fun.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
There was a lot of plan-changing going on today, for things happening today and tomorrow. I’ve gotten used to it now and don’t get annoyed at some plan that has been made that isn’t quite what I feel up for. More than half the time the plan changes back to nothing or something I’m more interested in. The rest of the time I just accept my fate.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
I rubbed the hands of some students who were cold throughout the day. Skinny Nicha in particular has no fat whatsoever to keep herself warm. I told her to jump up and down which she did for a little while before hugging herself around my arm.
What are five positive characteristics about Amy?
Happiness. I first noticed Amy at the cafe where I daily bought my double-shot cappuccino because she was always happy. Many pretty girls were working there and I could have chosen to talk with any of them but I chose Amy. One of the first things I said to her was ‘Why are you always so happy?’ Because it’s pretty much the opposite of my default mode at the time. She just replied ‘I’m a happy girl.’ Well, this sounded like someone whose influence I could enjoy.
Outgoing. Amy is somewhat extroverted but not in an obvious way. She told me that when she was still in high school her friends couldn’t believe that she would just go up to foreigner strangers in bars and start talking with them. She has no fear in this regard and can make friends easily.
Hardworking. When she has a goal in mind she will work hard towards it. From running her own business in Thailand to moving countries, studying, cooking and more lately housekeeping – she puts all she has into it.
Good with money. Amy has always managed to budget well even in what seem like difficult circumstances. And she can still enjoy herself without fear of spending money when it makes her feel good. I’m happy for her to take care of our finances.
Loves cats (and good dogs!). A first judgement can be made on many people by their love of animals. A love of animals shows the ability for compassion. Amy will do anything for our cats.
Today I’m feeling:
Ready for the day. I had a bit of a bad dream when my alarm went off. A weird story of Nong May and I walking across a street and she bumped into a guy and they both fell over. I was concerned for both of them and we ended up catching a scary bus to get to a doctor and insurance place. Everything around was getting darker and more ominous. I could’ve slept a lot longer but I was quite glad to get out of this dream.
Today I’m grateful for:
Not having caught everyone’s colds and flu so far. Many students are sick, coughing and sneezing in class. Sooner or later I will get sick for sure but so far so good. I can feel my throat is dry and itchy just when I’m writing this!
The best thing about today was:
Feeling like my Thai language learning is improving just by using it in class more often and trying to understand the kids when they speak Thai to me. Google Translate is much better than it was a couple of years ago and I can imagine we get to a point where we don’t even bother to learn languages anymore and use super fast translation instead.
In my grade 10 class today I asked the students how often they used messaging instead of calling and it seemed to be 80/20 favouring messaging.
Will we stop talking altogether? Once we figure out converting thoughts into text maybe our mouths will only be used for eating.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Yesterday I was thinking about doing a particular exercise (running dictation) with a couple of my one-hour classes but then remembered that in previous years it had taken much longer, so I quickly switched them around to be in our two-hour classes, one of which was today.
I was then shocked to find them finished within the hour and us having time to spare. I stretched things out before letting them do other work or free time.
Everyone enjoyed the class, though they got hot with the running and as I had anticipated the lazier students soon got distracted but in the end, things turned out ok. I do the same exercise with another class tomorrow.
Something I learned today?
There are rumours that the terrible fires in Hawaii, which locals are saying may have killed a couple of thousand people, may have been deliberately started or at least had a deliberately delayed response as investors were looking to get the area cleared out to build a new ‘city’. Save time and money by letting everything burn!
The locals are still struggling to receive help or even information. It sure looks like a horrible situation and is close to a modern genocide if these people are to be believed.
What random memory comes to mind right now?
This is a difficult question to answer when sitting and trying to think of it. It then becomes not random. Random memories will pop up during the day but not at the time I have this question in my mind. All the things that happened today are already memories and they are already swirling around in the quagmire of my brain.
Next time an older memory does randomly appear I’ll try to remember it and come back and add it. Or more likely I will read this sometime in the future and all the text here will be the actual random memory.
What am I taking for granted?
I think I am probably taking a lot of things for granted right now, though because of that, they are difficult for me to identify. Everyday things such as water, electricity, internet, phone, computer data, and music are almost ubiquitous and easily taken for granted and would be stressful if taken away.
In some ways, I take Amy for granted but that is part of a relationship and we often remind each other in mostly humorous ways that we don’t do that.
Part of writing a gratitude entry every day is to be reminded not to take things for granted.
Inspired by Brian Dunning’s Skeptoid piece on the concrete industry’s 8.2% input of world carbon emissions.
If you dwell with a lame man, you will learn how to limp.
ancient proverb
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful to have taken the time and made the effort to cut some of the grass today. The birds are here finding spiders and other insects to eat in amongst the cuttings.
Got up late, went off for coffee and a bike ride, which got me chilled inside. Even when I got back and sat in the sun, I still felt cold inside.
After a quick yummy lunch, I felt compelled to get the grass cutter and mowed away the long grass and now everywhere looks like a bad haircut. It’ll grow out soon!
Showered and now listening to one of the Pili Coit CDs I ordered recently. But I have a slight feeling of agitation – that old Sunday feeling coming back. Tomorrow – back to the familiarity if stress, the crazy kids, the cool ones, the lack of time (forcing me to fill the spaces appropriately). Keep my free time filled.
I am so happy and grateful that Kim Chi seems finally to be getting over her cold. It had me worried for a while that it was something more serious – she wasn’t eating because she couldn’t smell and not sleeping well because she couldn’t breathe. Usually, she is crazy and playful but this time she was quiet and docile. Thankfully she seems to be slowly recovering.
Damn, it’s cold in the morning. Have been sick, this is the first day back.
Amazing long sleep – feel good. Body weakened – need exercise, need discipline again.
G.I.on brainbox. Can’t stop reading – so good, so happy. Tattoo ideas formed.
Write 1994 and ideas coming – found more old writing. Is it important – no – is it interesting to me? Yes.
I’m running out – is there nothing to do except document my life? Should I be living a life still? What is it?
I love my home – my comfort here.
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful to have access to YouTube and to have an internet connection. Having internet means it is easy to live anywhere in the world. If I didn’t have it I could probably still manage but life would be a lot different – time would have a totally different meaning. The things I use the internet for are thought-provoking and thinking makes me alive.
I am so happy and grateful for the wind. Hopefully, it can blow away the smoky air. It’s cold. It’s refreshing. It’s unusual.
It’s been a while since writing and it is something I’ve been trying to prompt myself to get back into. I’ve been a bit lost recently – having some negative thoughts that took me into myself.
A lot of this centred around George and while I know he is a nice friendly person and can be a good friend, something’s happened in my head that questions all that. Some of this was based on things that he said and things that I’d heard.
I knew that I shouldn’t judge on some of these things but it became a downward spiral due to such close proximity all the time. I withdrew into myself where I was actually quite happy.
I’m really enjoying working at the moment and the challenge the students give me every day. I feel more comfortable around them and less around George’s alpha-male-ness. Like I said – he’s not a bad alpha male, not a bad person or anything. I just have an aversion to alpha male behaviour. It’s not his problem at all, but mine. Anyway, I apologised to him for being a bit off (which also affected the way he was treating me) and things are more even again now.
13th Dec 2024 – Not long after this, George’s true colours became more apparent and the things that had bothered me had turned out to be good intuition. I do still think though that in some ways, I made it my problem and I should have just let him get on with it.
I’m keeping myself a bit more occupied with learning Thai and staying out a little less for coffee in the morning. I actually prefer to help the other teachers if I can.
Apart from that, I feel OK, though a little flat as we approach the end of this strange year. A lot has changed for the better for me, whilst I can see it has worsened for a lot of others. I need to completely tune out from the news and find some focus on other things I’d like to try.
I want to read more, and try drawing. Learn more guitar, Thai and how to play a keyboard. All these things seem possible.
One week goals
I am so happy and grateful for the cold morning. It’s fresh and awakening and or makes that warm coffee much sweeter.
Things I must do before I die?
I don’t really consider anything I must do. There are things I would like to do but not must.
The major events previously in my life I didn’t really consider as things I must do but I was motivated enough to make them happen ie separation, travelling to China, moving to Australia, and Thailand.
Anything I must do seems to relate to things I have chosen to do for other people so I must do them as promised. The motivation is external, from a drive that was internal.
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful when the weather is cool. Sometimes it feels too cold but then I remember how unbearable the rest of the year can be. Today I have cold ears and I like it.
The nature of the universe consists in perpetual change and so this process is natural and good.
Donald Robertson on Meditations
To-do list
Quite tired today as I stayed up quite late reading, wanting to finish a book. I am in very good spirits though and enjoyed all the classes I took.
Started the well-being Coursera online class today too. I’m doing a lot of study around this subject at the moment but I think it’s serving me very well. My 4 character strengths are Curiosity, Gratitude, Honesty and Fairness and I should try to practice as many of these as I can in the next week.
Amy and I went to the gym and I worked on light weights as an overall warm-up for doing more in the future. I’m sure I’ll sleep well enough tonight.
Tomorrow should be a fairly easy day and should be enjoyable too. Tomorrow I’d like to get some more things done at home. I’m slowly sorting through my room and there’s no real hurry but it would be nice to be done.
I brought back a cold and a farmer’s daughter from Mudgee.
1994ever 