“Everything that needs to be said has already been said. But, since no one was listening, everything must be said again.” – Andre Gide
If it’s not fulfilling is it worth it to stay?
When teaching is just babysitting and play
No discipline instilled yet everyone a star
A photo opportunity is all that we are
Life only ever ends in death. What’s to find along the way… except what I’ve already found? Why go anywhere to look for yourself when it’s yourself doing the looking?
Judge Anderson, Judge Dredd Megazine
I refuse to grow younger. I came by my decreptitude the hard way and I propose to enjoy it.
Jubal, Stranger In A Strange Land by Robert Heinlein
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful to be able to read all the great stories that smart people took the trouble to write, whether it’s comics or books.
Outstanding achievement award
All goals met and all points scored
But being the best
Separates the rest
The nail gets hammered as reward
Punished for not playing along
Subscribe to strive to belong
It’s a constant battle
Fighting the cattle
A nail stuck is seen as wrong
Maintain a smile and never frown
No pinks and yellows, only brown
If you use your mind
You soon will find
A nail stood out gets hammered down
The laughter of fools cannot wound the wise.
Judge Death, 2000AD
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful to feel pretty good on little sleep this morning. Last night I stayed up until past midnight, reading articles and comics. It felt good.
Inspired and quoted by interviews with Christmas tree sellers in New York at the Cafe Anne newsletter
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful for this sneaky day off work and being able to read a stack of comics in my free time. My mind is taken to so many different places when I read.
Inspired by a classic late 80s Peter Milligan story ‘Shadows’ originally printed in 2000AD
29th Mar 2024 – Submitted to OLN 359 at dVerse
First day of the new semester and everything is the usual mess but I’m more used to it now and can accept it. Had a good chat with Champ in the afternoon about his beliefs about the future of Thailand. He isn’t happy with the current system but is optimistic about the elections next year. I don’t think it will be much of a change but I also can’t get a feel for the mood of the country.
I moved back into the teacher’s room and sat next to George again. He is still only politely communicating with me and won’t look me in the eye. What I have noticed more about myself is that the things that I read about stoicism and thinking, I’m always framing it into a comparison with me and George. He is good at many things that I would hope to emulate but I’m always classifying it as insincere when it comes from him. I don’t need to be thinking about how what I’m reading relates to him – I need to be concentrating on how it relates to me.
I do feel that I am behaving more as myself these days as opposed to trying to fit in with everyone there, to keep a good vibe. I don’t know how to describe this properly. The vibe is good as I am. I am polite and enquiring and take part in work discussions. I don’t, or no longer, really take part in what I guess could be called bonding exercises. I don’t really feel a need to bond with people on a superficial level. Playing Uno or Kahoot together is ok every now and then and maybe brings a good feeling at that moment but I feel like there’s no depth to it.
Sure, I may not be good at connecting deeply with people myself but I really detest the time wasted on superficial connections. I don’t want to be friends with everyone or care if people I don’t really like don’t like me either, but I will make the effort to make deeper connections with someone I feel great affinity with.
That’s difficult with this group of people due to language issues but I am interested in Champ’s values and thinking as he also seems to be interested in deeper concerns than having time for another round of Uno.
Have I talked myself around? Perhaps not yet. My thinking is something I’m still working on and something I will always need to work on.
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful for the long sleep and pleasant dreams I had last night whilst it rained so hard.
Weight: 76.6kg
Resting heart rate: 52
I am so happy and grateful for my iPad – I can read comics and books and right now I’m watching Sydney v Richmond at the MCG. It’s a replay and I know Sydney won but it’s great to be able to watch us play so well.
Sore gums – why? Dentist again.
Week off morning routine – get back into it. Heavy breathing – work, tired body. Looking good – but not where I want to be yet. Turn fat into muscle. Little by little – as I taught the kids.
Sleep easy – alarm surprised. What dreams – I don’t know.
Today today today – easy day, so fill it. Get ready for Ellen’s students again. Have no desire to do it – so I will do it – push through. But do it well. I know the hardest step is just starting again – and I’m not afraid.
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful for my full free day yesterday. I enjoyed it so much. Running around the garden with Baimon, listening to Alice Donut whilst looking through old photos, writing in my journal, reading comics and playing Xbox. Lazy and fun day which has made me feel very happy.
I pulled myself out of bed and forced myself back into my morning routine, including 10 burpees, which I was contemplating skipping. I also had time to write morning pages though they still couldn’t quiet my brain during meditation. Maybe tomorrow I will switch back to sitting up to meditate.
The result of this effort was a day of weird happiness and joy that I couldn’t help feeling. So, the best thing that happened?
On several occasions when I was communicating with students I felt a better understanding despite difficulties in verbal communication – a more common bond – it made me feel good.
I did a sketch of House and will try to do some more. I read some Dostoevsky which was very meaningful and marked certain parts – something I’ve always forgotten to do before! I’ve bounced back from my cold – and now Amy has it instead.
I also did a quick video call with a new student that I will start teaching online tomorrow.
There’s a lack of equipment where we are hiding in the cave networks on the edge of Burma. But we made a new show – against the odds! The director is not pleased.
This week there’s music from Chavez, Kurt, bEnt, Warhammer 48k, The Freeze, Tera Melos, Jeff Fox, Bee Vamp, Dreamies, Space Negros, Electric Deads, Secret Snack, Private Dicks, Spycker, Larval and Suspiria.
Incidentals taken from the Church of the Sub Genius Hour of Slack.
Listen right here or Mixcloud, Stitcher, Apple, Amazon…..all those cool places I guess.
https://www.facebook.com/The-Chiang-Rai-Alternative-Hour-107307097314670/
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful for all the books asked comics that I have waiting to be read. I can choose from fluff to depth depending on my mood.
I am so happy and grateful for my iPad because I can read books, comics and study more.
Imagine your 10-year ‘future self’ has just been asked the previous task. He comes back and talks to you. What’d do you think he’d say?
I couldn’t quite answer this question until I asked these two questions of George and for this one he replied “Keep up the good work.” He asked me why I was struggling to answer and suggested the first thing that came into my head.
And that was to stay strong in my convictions because they often turn out for the best. Stay positive even through the tough times. Keep that confidence that I mostly feel because it has proved to work well for me. Remember also to live day by day as if it may be your last. Make it count. Try your best in everything you do. Give your sincere smile to everyone. Appreciate the time you have and make the best use of it. I’d like to think I can say the same thing as George – to keep up the good work.
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful that I was able to sleep early yesterday and that Amy takes care of cooking, cleaning and washing up for me. I was starting to feel a little under the weather after a day of shouting in class and after coming home and dealing with a gecko I also had time to read a couple of chapters of my book. This made me quite sleepy though and I didn’t last much longer after dinner. I am grateful that I feel better this morning so far!
1994ever 