Tag: computer

The Visitor – 6th March 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Our visitor, quiet by our side
So close, so very close
There’s no one else and nothing happens
We share this realm
There’s no ordinary language
Just the feeling of unbounded love
The presence remains
Long after the sun turns golden
The comfort the visitor brings
– Hope to see you again

inspired by (and phrases appropriated from) Nick Cave’s Red Hand Files

Today I’m feeling:

Happy and relaxed.

Today I’m grateful for:

The iron, the ironing board, electricity, TV, Netflix, Sex Education and spare time. All these combined saw me knock off the pile of 20-plus shirts that now hang, reasonably smooth, in my wardrobe.

The best thing about today was:

Shaving off a five-day beard growth with a new razor. I always try to make my razors last well past their supposed use date which is something ridiculous like 15 shaves. But I’m also always relieved when I switch to a new one and can get a clean shave with no rashes or cuts.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

My main computer has been slowly dying for the last two years and is being particularly troublesome today after not having any issues at all yesterday. I get to the point where I’m resigned to the fact that I’ll have to buy a new one and then it will suddenly start working ok again for a few months. This time might be the end though.

Something I learned today?

I watched a video about the Two Sessions in China. The National People’s Congress and the CPPCC ( I forget exactly what this acronym is now). They meet every year and elect new leaders every five. What was interesting was that they clearly represent a wide range of peoples and groups throughout the whole country.

What is a defining moment of my life?

Moving away from the UK – really the whole impetus for this blog which has now morphed into something else.

Meeting TLJ – the start of a long difficult recovery.

Meeting Amy – the becoming of a truly independent adult and finding deep happiness.

I took this picture because as I was arriving at Utopia this morning the leaves’ symmetry struck me, requesting a photo to be taken.

Although the semester isn’t over and I still have things to do, it already feels like holiday.
Today is another Buddhist holiday too so I’m taking advantage of the free time. I ploughed through the shirts whilst watching Netflix – the semi-watchable but very contrived Sex Education. The best thing about it is the setting in a beautiful part of England that I’ll look up and find because I’d like to go there and check it out for real.
The air quality fucking sucks right now and the mountains are barely visible but I’ve forced myself out again, to sit at Daytripper, read, write and reflect.

Those Who Wait – 12th April 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 1 Comment

The seduction of the capitalist
To need, to want, to own
It’s easy to trick yourself
Into feeling you have grown

Now it seems so quaint
To buy at market stalls
Next shutting down the shops
To build great shopping malls

And now their lacquer fades
As everything can be found online
It’s only a few clicks
But who really has the time?

Don’t posture like a bohemian
Of course, these things are great
But the truly great things
Are those for which you wait

12th Apr 2023 – Sometimes I look back at things I’ve written and can be quite impressed with myself. At this time when the wonders of capitalism are starting to be questioned more and more it feels like we are in a downward spiral of forever chasing shiny things to the detriment of our sanity.
21st Apr 2024 – Submitted to The Ragtag Daily Prompt

You can swim all day in the sea of knowledge and not get wet.

Norton Juster

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful that my old computer has lasted for ten years but I think it may be about to die. It’s had a good run.

The Week That Was – 27th May 1979

*This next morning – 10th July 1998

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Email with TLJ

T: honey, i hope you’re feeling better than you were this morning – hope your neck is feeling better, and if not, i’ll rub it for you. don’t be falling asleep in meetings and at your desk now – cause that would be rude and inconsiderate, and just plain lazy!!!!!!! sql is really hard to learn and revise, so i thought i’d take a break and email you. but this connection is very slow and i’ve already been disconnected once. so i’d better say goodbye before i get kicked off again.
love you heaps sweety. take care my english boy, love tlj

S: A little better this morning thanks. I forced myself to fall asleep on my side (but woke up on my front). Finally went to bed about 12.45. Will stay awake a long time tonight with you if you make it over – I hope so. Come rub me and my poor sore neck. Hope sql goes well today and you get everything finished the way you want to. Thanks for the mail, mail me again and tell me you love me ssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Take care my aussie oriental dream

T: yo, ‘sup? i’m using sandie’s laptop to dial in to uni and it’s working much better.

S: One day I’ll fix yr computer – or maybe Sandie doesn’t think I’m smart enough (or sexy enough – or rich enough – or English enough)

T: anyway mutha, hope the day finds you well.

S: Not bad at all my dear considering the lack of sleep

T: got bored of accounting – so went to check email. mummy’s going through this big clean up phase which is always inevitable after we’ve had something in the house fixed up. on the 4th july, josh has planned some big walk around manly (must be to the spit bridge methinks). also that day of the big end of exam party that ren told us all about.

S: Wish I could go with ya – would like to catch up with yr friends like Ren and Tom – I’m sure some of the others are cool too – is Laura going – when do I get to meet her – then she’d really have something to bitch about

T: so i’ll have to choose between the two. also mum says i can go on this cultural exchange thing to taiwan at the end of the year just before i start industrial training. i’m not sure, but may go if deb goes (she’s this old skool frien’ o mine). i don’t think sue or di or tu would be that interested.

S: You kow I’d miss you badly but what an opportunity – get going baby but bring yr booty back to me – maybe you can put me on to di and sue while yr away!

T: it’s like an asian thing – so i’m sure you’d like to go and meet all those sexy asian chicks,

S: Oh god yes – I’m creaming myself just thinking about it

T: but you’ll look out of place and i’m sure they’re only there to meet yello boys.

S: I can be yellow too (try hard Chinese too!)

T: cause you english boys just don’t cut it yo, and there’s no way you play ball or know enough about r&b to be a cool asian.

S: Yeah well fuck R&B. Asians are just in it for the hipness – they really wanna just go and pick rice and live in mud huts – not really interested in Tamagotchi and CK are they? All a big pose. Are you gonna fight me now??

T: oh yeah, and they always look 15 years younger than they really are,

S: Does that mean yr only 4?

T: and i don’t think yo r 15 fuck this shit don’t work ?no more. lost half my mesage mutha, get back to you later mutha fuckea man fuck – where’d all my writing shit go?

S: Well, such a pleasant way to end an email – thank you darling I’m sure your shit has gone down the toilet. Good luck with yr exams and HAVE A GREAT DAY. Call me maaan. Let me know how you went. I love you boogaloo

*The Week That Was – 22nd April 1985

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Record of the week: Husker Du – Anything

22nd April 1985
Everyone likes Husker Du – Yeah!

23rd April 1985
Some of my money went missing. I reckon it was Miller myself but I can’t prove it. Me, Big Crabb, Lee, Little Crabb and Ben had a fire – others at ice skating.

24th April 1985
Did not go to Youth Club.

25th April 1985
Mum reckons I might get the sack.

26th April 1985
Crabby bought computer round. Me and Lee got very merry.

27th April 1985
Been sacked – but got job back. He’s sacking Neil instead. Celebrated employment. Muz was seriously pissed. He’d been to a wedding.

28th April 1985
Went up Crabby’s to play computer.

*The Week That Was – 15th April 1985

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Record of the week: Husker Du – anything, King Kurt – Destination Zululand, The Clash – Should I Stay Or Should I Go?

15th April 1985
Started working down hotel this week.

19th April 1985
Got Stone’s Mac and small bottle of whiskey. Had a great fuckin’ piss up. Emma came and got sick as a rat. Don’t remember much else.

20th April 1985
Crabby took computer down Murray’s. Everyone came in. Crabby got some drink, but wasn’t enough so got some more. Got half ratted again.

21st April 1985
Reoccurring Dreams is a great party record. Finished off bottles of whiskey. Only just though.

*The Week That Was – 20th February 1984

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Record of the week: DOA – Bloodied But Unbowed (again), Middle Class Fantasies – Publikum, Minutemen – (anything)

20th February 1984
Burd and Rupe came round with rest of booze. Went to Mr Houldey’s – I did his drying up. Went to Shirl’s. Went home. Recorded some Bloodstains. Went to Mr Houldey’s again. Pissed around in Dandy’s room. Made some pancakes for them. Nicked her pyjamas. Recorded some more – can’t remember much else. DOA.

21st February 1984
Woke up at 4. Had a drink. Went back to bed. Woke up 6. Had a drink and squeezed some zits. Got up 11. Took Dandy’s pyjamas back. Started Bloodstains booklet. Listening to Crass. Giving up fags, booze etc. Written letter to Zoe. Feeling good today.

22nd February 1984
Got up 11. Had a bath. Had a wank. Listened to some Crass. Decided to stop getting Sounds. Went to see Muz and saw Burt and Jasp. Me and Muz went to Houldey’s, found out there was a party at Jo Holloway’s so went there later at night. Had some good times with Tanya and Mandy and had some bad times with Jo, Vicky and mum and dad. Anyway, DOA. Wrote letter to Zoe again.

23rd February 1984
Muz and Scott and Burt woke me up at 10.30. Went to Queen’s Copse. Saw Annabel on the way. Got done by. the Forestry Commission. Came back. They went home. Went to Gaunts later. Had a go on Muz’s computer at Football Manager. Went up to Annabels’ with Muz, Scott and Burt. Came back – pissed around on Muz’s computer some more. Went home.

24th February 1984
Went to Wimborne to go to dentists. Saw Liz J so decided to stay in Wimborne. Was with her and Jason most of the day. Went into the Yew Tree three times for some tea. Pissed about all day. Came back on the bus.Had to give Andy Froud a lift to Horton on moped as bus didn’t go to Horton. Went to Muz’s and we went to Houldey’s.

25th February 1984
Woke up 12.30. Went to Muz’s 1.30. Got to First Division in Football Manager. Lost FA Cup Final to Brighton. Came back 4.35, took dog for walk. Played with cat. Had tea. Went to Muz’s 6.30. Decided to go to party. His mum gave us some money. Went to Wimborne. Bought some booze to add to the wine. Saw Stroud who was going so we followed him to Pamphill. We decided not to go in so we came back to my place and got snotted. Fell asleep watching a film – according to mum.

26th February 1984
Woke up 12. Had some lovely food. I was fucking starving for some reason. Played some records while doing Maths homework – what a bore – maths that is. Thinking about becoming a vegan. Going down Muz’s later, see what state he’s in. Had a bath. Had a wank. Listening to DOA again. Went to Muz’s. He wouldn’t come out/I couldn’t go in – doing his Maths homework – yawn. Came home. Went to find Chris on my moped – couldn’t find him so came home and watch the film – pretty good. God knows how I’m going to get up tomorrow.