Tag: courage

Courage – 13th June 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 17 Comments

Alone in the dark, deeply breathing

The sigh became a laugh
A call for arms

Wrapped warmly, waiting
Gathering courage
Anticipating that first kiss

A cherita shared with Shay’s Word Garden – breathing, laugh, kiss.
27th Nov 2025 – Shared with What’s Going On – courage

Today I’m feeling:

Almost out of energy.  I slept well, and the alarm shocked me awake for once this week.  Pushing through, though.  Only one more day left of the work week after today.

Today I’m grateful for:

Kru Jern telling her students that the last class of the day finishes at 4.30 and if you want to leave earlier you have to get everything done.  Today, the kids were on the ball,l and we were all able to get out by about 4 pm.

Nomsen’s ‘family emergency’ yesterday turned out to be a birthday party with some of her older friends.  Not impressed, and Kru Jern agreed, but I let it slide.

The best thing about today was:

The fish stall at the street market was there today, thankfully, so I’m full up on fish, rice and chilli.

Something I learned today?

Little Namwan, the little tom boy student that was scared of me for about 18 months because I physically picked her up near the bathrooms and deposited her back in class 4 years ago now suddenly appeared in my afternoon class (after not turning up for my class in the morning that she was supposed to be at).

When I asked her what she was doing there, she just pointed to Ploy (whose birthday it was today).  Knowing Namwan, she is obviously crushing on her, as she did with Nicha last year.  It’s interesting to watch.

Namwan is 4 years older but seems to lack a lot of confidence compared with her peers, so perhaps she feels on a more even playing ground with the younger students.

Review your acts, Good and bad.

My driving was a bit less rushed both this morning and evening.

Amy and I tried to fix up the bird nest after Amy did some ant extermination around the plant where it is.  She could see ants getting to the nest and maybe annoying the chicks.  Doing that kinda disturbed the nest, though, which is kinda precariously balanced between two stems.

Feathers forming. Not much room for mum now.

Where’s Your Courage? – 28th March 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 2 Comments

“The little things are the big things.”

Courage demands bravery in this very moment
Of heroic action.

And so happiness is possible,
Living an ordinary life
In an extraordinary way

Text is borrowed and arranged from this post at The Stoa Letter and the form (Cherita) is inspired by this post at the Skeptic’s Kaddish and the title is from the Minutemen.

Today I’m feeling:

Super tired again.  Yesterday I managed to resist an afternoon nap and I got to sleep OK, until Cap kept crying to go in and out of the bedroom and then to be fed.  Happy to know that he has his appetite but I just want to sleep more!

Today I’m grateful for:

Amy and her family deciding to go for a fish lunch out in the rice fields.  It was good to do something different though it was funny that they decided on the restaurant that Bruno and I went and tried as we were riding by a year or two ago.

Also to Kru Karn who offered me her shelf space in the teacher’s room to keep my things.  I’ll do that for now but may move it to somewhere more suitable later.

The best thing about today was:

Reading more about the British Empire in Africa.  It was interesting to read that there were people who abhorred the colonial treatment of other human beings at the time.  Interesting in that nothing much has changed, sadly.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I haven’t been able to do any more lesson planning as I haven’t been able to get more information from Kru Mai about my classes yet.  It’s a little frustrating as it is what we are supposed to be doing this week and now it means I will have to do more in the actual holiday time.

When I went to school just before lunch I found lots of people cleaning out the office space for Kru Puu who will stay in there in future.  Unfortunately, this means moving my stuff out from there and also not being able to use it for one-to-one speaking exercises anymore.  A lot of student’s work that I was keeping to look at later was also missing, presumably thrown out. Oh well. Nothing stays the same.

Something I learned today?

I just got sent a video by Noey. It was of me riding the wrong way at the traffic lights (to save time) as I was out getting a tub of ice cream at the 7-11.  She must have been on her bike at the traffic lights going in the other direction.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I messaged a few more students today and had little conversations of encouragement with them.

I took this picture because this was the view from our restaurant table at lunch time.

The Illiterati – 23rd September 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

What did I learn today?
The student reminds themselves
What do I need to unlearn
And take down from the shelves?
What did I forget today
That must be revised and relearned?
To fight against the Illiterati
Some books must be burned

inspired by a quote by Alvin Toffler which I’ve immediately forgotten!

Today I’m feeling:

A little slow to go and tired. I was exhausted last night and fell to sleep quickly but woke again once the aircon switched off and due to aching shoulders from exercising.

Today I’m grateful for:

The polio vaccine that I was given when I was at Bransty First School. I have a slight memory of receiving vaccinations here every year or two and not really understanding what they were for but they were serious business. It may be childish recall but the needles back then seemed to be as thick as a pencil and as expected they sure hurt a six-year-old’s skinny soft flesh. I never knew anyone who had polio but many of the adults around seemed to and told of its blight.

Reading an Ian Dury biography today told of how he contracted polio from a swimming pool in 1949 and all the problems he suffered whilst growing up. It was not until 1954 that a vaccine was finally created and which I would be given about 20 years later.

Whilst there may be some scepticism about a fast-tracked covid vaccine I scoff at people who refuse all vaccines for whatever reason. I understand a friend’s reluctance about vaccines when her brother died after an allergic reaction to one and I’m sympathetic to that tragedy but that cannot counter all the positive effects of vaccines for the 99.9% of people who it has saved from experiencing severe health issues.

The best thing about today was:

Getting a fair bit of reading in. Some more Midnight Library, the first chapters of the Ian Dury bio and finishing the first part of the Clive James bio. I even spent some time in the hammock for the first time maybe for the whole year.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I ran out of energy, as often happens on Saturdays these days. I submitted to an afternoon nap after trying to put it off. I woke again just as it was getting dark and haven’t really woken up properly. I think I’ll be back in bed again soon.

Something I learned today?

Amy got home safely from the gay bar she was in last night. I had fallen asleep so wasn’t able to video-call and accompany her home. She also told me that her dad seemed to be doing ok and they thought there was no cancer spread though that’s not 100% confirmed yet. So long as he recovers and Amy’s grandmum can hang on then our plans she be fine to go ahead.

What situation is asking me to be courageous or brave right now?

Maybe not sure if brave or courageous might be the right words but I have to get my head around the fact that Amy will be back permanently soon. That will be a shift in routines and make me busier than these last couple of years. I’m already struggling to get things done that I enjoy each day. If I think about sacrificing anything it will be watching videos in front of the TV which is what I usually want to do to wind down a little.

I took this picture because I liked the way this ice was sitting in the glass and liked it even better with a black and white filter.

World Expanding – 17th June 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 1 Comment

Stealing away at sunset
To the corner of the block
Distant twinkling on the horizon
There lies a future to unlock

Reaching out to infinity
If only with open eyes
Beyond the grip of safety
A world full of surprise

Removing the lines drawn
To travel the streets alone
Comfortable in the welcome
Arms returning home

And slowly, steps are growing
The night reveals the joy
For the wanderer, the movie
Of boy meets girl meets boy

Next the flight over oceans
To a scary place indeed
Where next to expand the mind?
Wherever it is, Godspeed

Inspired by this post by Makenna Karas

5th Jun 2024 – Submitted to Weekly Prompts Wednesday Challenge

Today I’m feeling:

I’d set my alarm later than usual for 8 am but that still wasn’t enough sleep and when I finally got up an hour later I was still groggy. I did 60 jumping jacks and had a cold shower to wake up and my body feels good though my brain hasn’t quite kicked in yet. A job for coffee.

Today I’m grateful for:

The ten baht soft noodles, the twenty baht watermelon and 75 baht drinks I bought to go with dinner, a super spicy fish soup that sure woke up my face. And despite the morning coffees I never really got going today.

The best thing about today was:

That nothing really mattered too much. I got things done, chatted and prompted some students with their catch-up work etc and also this whilst feeling exhausted and lethargic. Pick it up and start again tomorrow.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Whilst I was sipping my coffee at Utopia I saw the lady from the phone store next door outside and remembered that I should get my phone screen replaced there, to give them my business. I went out and she said she could do it for me. My memory of having the protective screen replaced was that it cost about 100 baht. I was a little surprised when she said it was 250 baht. Has the price gone up that much? Did I remember wrong? Was she taking advantage? I don’t know so I thought of it as a random act of kindness that makes her happy and keeps me happy too.

Something I learned today?

I saw a BBC story about terrible things happening in North Korea. I didn’t watch the content but I’m now wondering if this is further preparation for war with China? The timing seems convenient.

What are some personality traits that I admire in others?

I was thinking that the personality traits I admire in others are not always something I feel comfortable to try and replicate. They are not always suitable for my personality today. If they are admirable then perhaps I can learn to slowly integrate them in my own way. It’s unreasonable to expect to immediately become the kind of person that another is. Also, some traits that I admire may be in people that I dislike for other traits that jar against mine. Separate the trait from the person.

Where did I embody courage?

I’ve been trying to answer this for a couple of days already but don’t feel like I’ve had to embody courage at all recently. Life has been pretty much within my stride for the last couple of years. I’ve embodied courage in my past, for example, when moving countries or going to visit new countries with little information, starting new careers and so on. I’m happy to keep exploring new possibilities but things that might require good chunks of courage are not really on my radar either because my level of fear has been defused or things are beyond my thoughts to attempt these days.

I took this picture because this nice piece of art was in Utopia. I like it.

Sit Quietly – 30th March 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Hold still, slow down all thoughts
Soften eyes and ears
A mind racing around all sports
Bends on one’s fears

Sit quietly, letting contentment in
Soften ears and eyes
Craziness begone, deep breathing begin
Hear the word of the wise

Don’t be a coward. Have the courage to be afraid.

Günter Anders

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to have some smart students who make me laugh a lot and bring me great joy when they want to learn.

Growing Up In A House Of Cards – 15th September 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

She grew up in the countryside
A daughter of farming folks
Nothing much expected of her
The butt of the villagers’ jokes

The poverty that surrounded her
Made no sense as she grew older
And she stopped believing
The things that her teachers told her

Revolution in the hearts and minds
Consciousness was being raised
And the young girl from the village
Was now the one being praised

She stood for what she believed
To bring her country change
And the people stood strong together
With a better system to arrange

She saw the source of the problem
Came directly from the top
Wild plans were being formulated
To bring them to stop

Bullets and brains were deployed
At times it seemed too hard
But soon the house would collapse
By removing a single card

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for the farmer and his cows eating through the jungle on the other side of our fence.

Gui has got me onto a different he calls Dirty. Cold milk, a teaspoon of cream and an overextracted shot of coffee. I’ve taken to it. It’s a little more expensive but I think I will drink less. Let’s see!

In one of my classes (2/9 – the good class!) yesterday we were talking about democracy and dictatorships and I explained that our class was a dictatorship but then I started thinking about the Montessori schools and how their classes are often like a democracy.

I might try this with this class next semester – I think there are enough smart students in the class to make it work and it could be fun. I’ll try to read up on how teachers work in those classes.

Amy has been getting busier with her cake-making (cinnamon bun making) and I told her yesterday how proud I was of her skills and abilities.

We had also been talking about what happened with George last week and I had been thinking about why it upsets me. Amy keeps talking about when we invited him and Bee to stay at our house and Bee saying what a big deal it was for him so he obviously had some expectation for our friendship after that but I said, ‘That’s the thing. I feel like I trusted this person as sincere and honest and now I feel like I’ve been tricked and made a fool of.’ And we realise that this was exactly what had happened with Amy and Bebe all those years ago.

Bebe sucked Amy in with so many nice words but only to manipulate the friendship in her favour. I saw it easily and immediately with Bebe but I was fooled by George.

We live and learn and I’m happy enough with the friends in my life, whether they are close or not.