Tag: dichotomy of control

Til The End – 23rd November 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Make sure to watch til the end
This video needs the stats
Nothing happens at that point
As you can see within the chats

But make sure to watch til the end
Cos this video needs to go viral
A dollar for every ad served
Within this ever-downward spiral

Make sure to watch til the end
If you really want to laugh
Forget about the time you’ve wasted
Cutting your life in half

Make sure to watch til the end
Scroll and pause, pause and scroll
You’re the product in this game
And the devil wants your soul

So make sure you watch til the end…

The foundations of a free country is that your freedom to swing your fist ends where someone else’s nose begins.

Ryan Holiday

Today I’m feeling:
Reasonably happy.
Today I’m grateful for:
The old auntie at the market that made an old-style Thai dessert that is hard to come across. It’s a little like Japanese mochi, made with sticky rice and flour and other things I don’t recognise.
The best thing about today was:
Explaining some work to a couple of students and seeing the joy of understanding on their faces when it clicked for them. Small steps. Interested students are a teacher’s pleasure. Uninterested students are impossible to get through to and those moments of understanding are far fewer with them. So even a poorer student that shows interest is preferred.
Daily thought
Who is someone living that you admire?
I’ve been thinking about this off and on all day and as was commented on where I found this question, it is much easier to come up with a person that is dead. Why is that? A finished story perhaps. A life that no longer can be spoiled… I admire many of my musician friends, just for their abilities to create music that sparks me. This can apply to artists I don’t know too but the connection feels vaguer these days. This admiration is not necessarily for who these people are but for things they created, though there is a strong connection in the qualities of patience and persistence amongst other things. If I have admiration for who a person is then that would be Amy. She has her ups and downs as much as anyone but in general, is a happy person whose positivity is seen by most and I’m sure has helped guide her through life with good results. I admire her attitude. I’m not like that, not like her in that way. I wish I could be but I just can’t. It’s one of the reasons I want to be with her though. She’s a counterbalance for me.
What’s your best advice for teenagers?
The best advice is what I have learned through reading about Stoicism and understanding the dichotomy of control. As I am teaching teenagers at the moment this often comes up for them in learning about dealing with relationships and situations. It is always something I have to remind myself about every day though. I think I’ll make that a daily question for myself from tomorrow.

I took this picture because this is typical of my students in class. Today I laughed with them but actually, I feel disappointed for them. The environment is just not conducive to learning.

Give Me A.I. – 23rd December 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Give me A.I., I’ll just be a brain in a box
Ditch my body for complete neuron unlocks
A twitching synapse controls my feeding tube
Lord Elon can come and change my lube
Devolution of thumbs, no longer required
Finally, it’s our thoughts to be admired
Give me A.I. and charge-free flying cars
Let’s get on the rocket and fuck off to Mars

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for the technology that means we can video call our friends around the world. It’s a far cry from the dial phones I grew up with.

Last night, Amy and I had a long video and audio call with Aing in Bangkok. She was down and confused about her future and I learned a little bit about Amy as we talked. About myself too.

I was conscious of not just putting my ideas forward or just telling what I would do because I can’t really put myself into her situation exactly. Amy and I both listened more than talking, asking questions where appropriate.

Then Amy gave her some good advice. Aing felt better after this and we will try and help her as much as we can. She is a smart young lady with lots of potential. We would like to see her achieve her dreams rather than going along with what satisfies other people.

Amy and I talked more about it afterwards and she has a method in this kind of situation, which I didn’t really realise that I was doing too. That is to let the person talk and to listen carefully before offering any advice. Be sympathetic before a solution provider. Amy is very good at this. George too. I am getting better at it and try more these days to put myself in someone else’s shoes as much as possible.

Sometimes other people’s problems put more perspective into mine. Mine are all in my head. In fact, I would say most problems are just there. I try to put everything into categories of what I can control and what I can’t. That usually leads me to the way to the solution. Controlling my thoughts is the constant practice for the rest of my life.

When I go for a stroll I always stay on the sidewalk, and I always wear a pair of nice warm boots – 15th March 2020

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

We wake up in the morning fresh and ready to go and by the end of the day, we are covered in dust. The dust of emotions, of work, of stress, of everything. 

– Daily Stoic email

Most days disappear too fast. I was busy – busy with what? I set myself small goals and challenges and cross them off at nightfall. The next day, do it again. Wash, rinse, repeat.

I am a machine and the dust gets in. Wash it away, wash this out of my life.

Talking of dust, it hasn’t rained here for 6 months, the land is cracking, grass clings to life but the jungle can still prevail. It doesn’t matter what gets thrown at it.

The sight of a big rat running around hopefully means the snakes are gone for now. Our lazy cats bring us gifts of small lizards and small birds, blood trailed across the kitchen floor.

Each evening we water the plants and trees, the sun red over the mountains, barely penetrating the thick smoke blown down from Myanmar and Laos. This is still the Wild East – laws often meaningless, common moral duties not learned in the chaos of the education systems.

We live in dust, breathe it in, poison for the lungs. But, we live.

A wise man said that you can’t step in the same stream twice,
But I find that wet feet soon get caked with sand and grit, that’s very unpleasant, especially between the toes…..

nomeansno

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to be able to go outside again. It was weird to be outside again after two weeks at home.

To-do list

  • Record another TCRAH and finish off upload details ✅
  • Express your gratitude and happiness to see people ½
  • Do not judge people ✅
  • Finish installing Powerpoint ½
  • Chinese drawing

My first day outside in 2 weeks. It felt a little strange as I was riding to Utopia and this feeling of freedom and being able to go anywhere. It was good to catch up with everyone there – I think I should try and talk more with everyone who works there, maybe they think that I am not that friendly.

Anyway, the air quality sucks so it was back home and indoors again. For some reason, I woke up and got up at six thirty so actually managed to do a few things before even going out for coffee.

At around 10.30 it’s usually too hot and sunny to be outside but with the smoke so thick there’s an apocalyptic colour to the sky and only a vague idea of where the sun is. It was still hot but I took the opportunity to water our suffering plants and trees.

A trip out for lunch and re-stocks at Makro and I got a lot more done in the afternoon.

Back to school tomorrow. I want to try and maintain this good feeling I’ve had for the last two weeks even if having to deal with difficult people. This is my test.

I would like to go and help George with some lesson planning but I have a feeling that the lack of communication last week will end up getting dumped back on me in the morning (I was originally told that I would be able to start preparations back at CRPAO at this time). Oh well – let’s see how it goes and I’ll attempt to think before I speak.

Remember – things you can control and things you can’t control.

No hammer from the judge – 10th December 2019

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

When you feel overwhelmed or unfocused, what do you do? What questions do you ask?

The last time I felt overwhelmed was at CRPAO. My mind could only concentrate on the injustices I felt at the way I was treated. Obviously, the questions I asked myself were not productive.

The first question I need to ask is ‘is this situation in or out of my control?’ If the situation is not in my control then all I can control is my response. This is a difficult skill that I am currently trying to cultivate. It is easy to think about but difficult to execute.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for another school holiday today. Yesterday was tough and left me in a negative state of mind and this morning I woke up not feeling well. It’s a blessing to be able to spend another day just sitting and reading!