You burned down our house But home is in our head We marvel at the pyres And warm ourselves instead
We are the free ones Wandering and wild Whilst you guard your toys The spoils of the child
For all the sermons High up on the mount You carry more burdens Than anyone can count
The title refers to the Dangerous Girls song ‘Step Out’ that repeats the phrase “demolition”. The first stanza refers to Edison watching his factory burn. ‘Wandering and wild’ refers to Wasted Youth’s album titled “Wild and Wandering”. The burden is a reference to what Israel will carry once they have completely destroyed Palestine. 8th May 2024 – Submitted to dVerse Poetics
Today I’m feeling:
I felt pretty good after getting back from coffee but whilst settling into some reading some felt sleepy and had another three hours rest waking up again at two pm
Today I’m grateful for:
The shop where we sneakily parked our car and decided to get out and walk the rest of the way to the festival.
The best thing about today was:
The atmosphere of fun and pleasure at the festival. Folks were having a good time.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Taking an hour and a half to get to Singha Park for the balloon festival, stuck in traffic for more than an hour and missing any sunset photo opportunities. At least I could listen to my music whilst in the car.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
I remained patient whilst stuck in traffic (and hungry)
I took this picture because we had a nice spot by the lake to watch the balloons being inflated though it was a little windy for them to go up tonight.
A little sick with a sore throat and lack of energy. I skipped my alarm and exercise for an extra 30 minutes of sleep. I’m hoping not to have to do too much at school today. I could do with an afternoon nap and I’m saying that now before it’s even 8 am.
(10 am) And there we are, the tipping point. Lazily wandering from place to place and eventually being told there’s nothing for us to do today. So here I am back at House for coffee number two.
Today I’m grateful for:
Lots of free time in which I could read, write and learn whilst sipping coffee and then later spending a couple of hours reading comics in bed, where I did indeed, enjoy an awesome afternoon nap.
The best thing about today was:
Hanging out with Michael and David for a little while this morning and then lazily walking from school to where some of the kids were doing the zip-line and we watched for a few minutes, ducked away and walked back again. The temperature was ok for the most part and once off the highway, the walk was quite pleasant.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
The typical dysfunction of Scout week activities at school used to bug me but now I listened to how they bugged David instead and accepted the advantages that we can get from it.
Something I learned today?
Andrew Huberman is into Rancid.
25 THINGS ABOUT LIFE I WISH I HAD KNOWN 10 YEARS AGO – 13. Be Nice. I don’t mean you should be a pushover. You can be someone that doesn’t take shit and be nice about it. Just don’t insult people, think you’re better than them, or act like an idiot.
I’m a lot nicer than I used to be. I don’t insult people or think that I am better than others anymore but I probably am still prone to acting like an idiot every now and then. One would hope that we are all a lot nicer than we used to be but then you meet some people…..
I took this picture because these flowers have decided to grow, against the odds.
Sore. My back and knees are complaining after stressing them yesterday whilst cleaning out the sink drain.
Today I’m grateful for:
The parking guys with their whistles at Makro. I don’t know why they are necessary or why they blow their whistles so much as it’s impossible to understand if it means anything. I almost ran the guy over because I had a clear reverse behind me and he was the only thing in the way!
The best thing about today was:
Spending a few hours in my room, catching up on reading, sorting music, downloading and listening and then practising guitar. I want to spend more time doing this but I still don’t really enjoy being in that room anymore.
Something I learned today?
The average age of a Ukrainian soldier right now is 43!
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
I followed up with Earn, asking her the same question as I did about six weeks ago – Tell me five things you like about yourself. Her answers are better than last time. Less focused on looks and more focused on feelings and emotions.
What is a happy memory from my childhood?
I’ve lots of snippets of memories that are not particularly happy or sad, just things that happened. Some may have felt ecstatic at the time such as playing football at school or tragic like the time I cracked my eyebrow open on the edge of a step but at this distance, they are just events. I consider my childhood to be memories until I was about halfway through middle school, pre-pubescent. After that, I consider myself a teenager until I was forty!
25 THINGS ABOUT LIFE I WISH I HAD KNOWN 10 YEARS AGO – 11. Lead the Way. When you find yourself in a situation where everyone looks at each other, it’s time for you to lead. You’re a leader when you decide to become one. There’s no initiation or a title. Just a decision.
Before going through teenage depression I thought that I could be a leader. After that though, I mostly wanted to keep my head down though I still had a selfish streak of arrogance which popped up from time to time.
Whilst doing DIY punk things in Sydney I never felt like a leader but did hope that I was an inspiration for others and I can think of two friends for sure who did take something from what I was doing and ran with it themselves.
Now, at school, in Thailand, I consider myself the same. Not as a leader but as an inspiration. I want to inspire my students to become the best of themselves. I don’t work for prizes and awards and I don’t want to be managing other adults. I don’t want to lead people in such a way as to tell them what to do. Rather than leading I just want to be doing something. Anything. Just do it.
I took this picture because this was one of the few super cute kittens that were jumping around, playing and sleeping on this spirit house at the Night Bazaar last night.
A little vague and blurry but positive. I feel like I could easily sleep if given the opportunity.
Despite being tired and hungry when I got home last night and then only a little to satisfy myself I found that I was still reading comics at 11.30 and then it took me a fair while to actually go to sleep.
The morning alarm was a bit of a shock and for a brief moment, I contemplated snoozing it but made it up instead.
Today I’m grateful for:
Finally being able to crack the last part of the song that I was struggling to complete on guitar.
The best thing about today was:
My small grade 10 class again today who were a pleasure to teach and just talk with in general as the topic was about relationships. My lesson was more focused on romantic relationships but many of the points cross over to any kind of relationship.
As the English level of most of the class is quite poor I depended on the two good speakers to help translate some points and I could see that they were all able to understand to one degree or another.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I got a message today from Nancy about not signing out when leaving school, which I haven’t done for about 2 years now. She said ‘they’ would reduce my wages. If they reduce my wages anymore I’ll have to start paying them to work! She asked me to message Kru Tang, which I did and she asked me to sign out and I said that I would. She didn’t mention anything about reducing wages though. Let’s see what happens next month.
Something I learned today?
Last year the USA beat all previous records for sales of weapons to the rest of the world. When is the rest of the world going to wake up to the fact that the USA wants more war to make more money?
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
I was pleased to see a couple of my usually lazy students pushing themselves a little more today so I made sure to praise them with personal messages this evening.
I took these pictures, as I mentioned last week because Cap was sitting here but decided to get up as soon as I got down to take a picture of him, so I took this series as he walked towards me.
Very good. I pushed through exercise and felt good for it. At school, I comforted ****** as best I could and asked Jan to keep me updated. I feel a little hopeless about helping her and I can imagine she feels even more so.
Today I’m grateful for:
Nut’s Auntie and uncle who came and cleaned up lots of little details around our garden, in particular, pulling the weeds out from the driveway where our purple grass grows.
The best thing about today was:
Hearing from my grade 10 students that the reason that they wanted me to teach them next year is that they feel relaxed in my class and find it fun and more enjoyable than with Thai teachers. I have to wonder what some of their other classes are actually like.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
On arriving home Amy was cleaning Bruno’s high-pressure hose (and seemed to be in a bad mood) and told me he wanted it back.
I was doubtful about this as he had said to keep it as long as I needed and I still have a few places I’d like to clean up.
I was also informed that I would have to drive Nut’s Auntie and uncle back to Bruno’s after they had finished which would be soon.
I didn’t say anything, I hadn’t even got the shopping inside yet. I just accepted my fate and took a quick shower by which time they were ready to go.
Of course, once we got there, Bruno was surprised to get his machine back already as he knew I hadn’t finished with it, and said to take it back. I hushed him and told him not to worry about it, as it already revealed Amy’s little white lie and I made no complaint. Amy seemed to be in a better mood by then, so all was good as we drove back home again.
Something I learned today?
It has only ever snowed two times in the Sahara. How’s that for some relatively useless information.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
Once again offering support to my students struggling with mental health issues.
I took this picture on Sunday morning because this was the same mountain that we were at the top of the afternoon before, rising out of the cool morning mist.
Sat here staring at the walls Tracing back this year of ruin The picture hung now calls To settle any trouble brewing Transcendence roams these halls Embracing the silence here It’s the holy land that recalls The artist’s vision clear
Walking through the lives And visions of those long gone A tiny thought survives Where this moment must belong When this awe arrives Angels will serenade the air Unfolding before the eyes Of those chosen to be there
Great. Got up as usual and did some arm exercises, went for coffees and then headed off to meet Bruno and walk up the LiKhai Valley. After a good walk up there and a super refreshing swim in the waterfall, I felt even better. A delicious affogato at Utopia after some veggie noodles and I relaxed into a fabulous afternoon nap before preparing for guests in the evening as Amy prepared Korean food for her mum, Dad, Auntie, Nong Aun and her friend and I talked a little with everyone. A wonderful day.
Today I’m grateful for:
The lady who made vegetarian noodle soup for my lunch. To be honest it was pretty bland and tasteless but somehow it felt filling and refreshing. The lady was in the shop by herself and there weren’t many customers (probably due to the holiday) but I’m glad she was there.
The best thing about today was:
Definitely jumping in the water in the stream running down the valley. The bottom of the stream wasn’t visible and I slipped down into the water, completely submerged before breast stroking across to where the water was pouring over the rocks from above. The weather today was perfect and the water was a good (cold) temperature to refresh and revive.
Something I learned today?
After NASA banned any cooperation with China in connection with space, they are now asking for samples of moon rock that China recently brought back from there.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
As we were coming out of the valley a foreign couple that we’d seen ride by earlier stopped and asked about going to Mae Salong, so I gave them the rough directions and some advice on how long it would take and where else to go.
I loaned Amy’s dad some Kabuki comic books that I have though I doubt if he can understand them fully. He borrowed some books from me a couple of years ago and still hasn’t given them back. I reminded him again as he was taking these!
If I could relive any day from my past, which day would I choose?
This ties in with the question on Sunday about my favourite parts of the city and the walk I like in Sydney. I would relive the day that TLJ and I went exploring down there when we snuck out of the office for a long lunch. I was desperately excited with new love at that time.
I took this picture because this was the swimming hole I enjoyed getting wet in today.
When I was a ghost, my eyes were never met Unknown, unspoken, unseen, unheard There I stood, three monkies wiser Until hearing the whisper of the magic word
A name on a page, a name in lights Is that me, is this real? Does a grain of sand on life’s beach Really understand what the ocean might feel?
You can see me and I can feel you Alone but never lonely, loneliness lost Spaces filled with words and chatter To balance it all comes at a cost
Tides are changing, shores are filling Days and nights are both illuminating The stories brought here remind me Of the sandcastles we’re all creating
Better than yesterday though still not quite awake, I feel. I had fun with all the kids at the flag ceremony this morning but need this first coffee for my first class.
Today I’m grateful for:
All the people who handled the parcel of records that got delivered safe and sound to me today from Turkey.
The best thing about today was:
Spending time and effort with one one-on-one reading with my grade 8 students. Both yesterday and today’s classes are a challenge and I think it is beneficial to spend even just five minutes one one-on-one as often as possible. I can only do this with about 6 or 7 students per one two-hour class though.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
My final class of grade 7s was disrupted somewhat as one student told me that a few of them were supposed to go for football practice. I told them that they could go when they finished their work but unfortunately they struggled with the work and then as it rolled past the time they asked to leave they struggled with their attitude. Many students ended up 20 minutes late for their vans as I wouldn’t let them go unless they at least attempted the work.
The kids don’t know how to help themselves and the other classmates that understand are reluctant to help now as their kindness has worn thin. The students that slacked last semester will struggle this semester as I ask them to think more about their own ideas, beliefs and feelings. Things that they can’t ask the answers from other students.
I managed to remain mostly patient throughout all this. Mostly.
Something I learned today?
I just realised that the candy I’m eating right now have little tidbits of information on them and so I just learned that crocodiles can’t stick their tongues out. Fairly useless information for 99.5% of people on Earth but there we are. I learned that today.
If I could change one thing about my life, what would it be?
I can imagine that this would be something ridiculous like not having to sleep or being able to party without hangovers! Or not die until I’m ready!
Or that I still had youthful boundless energy.
If I could change one thing about my life I would have done it already.
Which side of the bed do you sleep on?
It seems that I am always the one closest to the door so that if anyone ever breaks in to try and kill us they will go for me first. I don’t know if this is a subliminal thing on Amy’s behalf or why that makes her comfortable but it doesn’t bother me. I can sleep on any side of any bed so long as it is comfortable.
Right now we each sleep in the middle of our own King-sized beds which is both ridiculous and amazing.
I took this picture because this old boy was waiting for me to finish exercising so he could eat. Tigger wasn’t far away either. I didn’t feed them as Amy wants to do it ‘her way’ which I know is just to get their affections! I noticed that by this evening both cats are no longer looking at me with expectation but at Amy instead!
It’s time to leave, time to live The tough have already got going The soft remain inactive But deep down already knowing
It’s time to go, time to be gone Let the waste remain in this place Time is forever marching on And taking up so much space
The magnetic pull unwavering Stick the cynics in the bin Tomorrow is not worth savouring If the journey doesn’t begin
Once again, inspired by this post at Spinning Visions. I am usually inspired by things I see, hear and read (more than conjuring things from the depths of my brain – at least, these days) and I’m catching up on reading Makenna’s journey via her blog.
The Blackened Screamo powercell from İstanbul, Jornada Del Muerto (featuring members of The Ousted, Burn Her Letters, ria, pembe, Noisy Sins Of The Insect, Slave Training) unveils their brand new full length “Pinturas Negras” via 11 DIY labels (see below) Mixed and Mastered by Pete Grossman at Bricktop Recording who has an excellent discography, such as Inclination, Frail Body, Uglybones, LUCA, Crowning…
Having released a cathartic and well-written debut album in 2021, the blackened screamo act Jornada Del Muerto dedicates Pinturas Negras to Goya’s “Black Paintings” in lyrical and musical ways. 14 songs for 14 paintings.
The band took it to the next level with their new release: while the band is maintaining the short-songs-with-violent-outbursts kind of approach with their songs, it is very clear that Jornada Del Muerto has given a lot of thought to the instrumentation of their new songs as the riffing and the song structures are very on point. The band makes it known to their listeners that very diverse influences are musing their sound, and Jornada Del Muerto transforms these muses into gut-punching screamo anthems with sheer explosions.
Jornada Del Muerto is Alican, Görkem, Mutlu, Onur
Recorded at PUR Music Studios Mix and Mastering by Pete Grossman at Bricktop Additional Cello by Öykü Opuz Artwork by Nazan Aydın
Sabbath Video credits Directed by Doğuş Asan & Mutlu Oral Animated by Doğuş Asan Character Design by Eda Dursun Written by Mutlu Oral & Görkem Arslan Edited by Mutlu Oral
Judith and Holofernes Video credits Video by Görkem Arslan & İdil Kocabozdoğan
Co-operative release featuring the following labels: Mevzu Records No Heroes Records Dead Red Queen Records Fresh Outbreak Records Friendly Otter 5 Feet Under Records Dingleberry Records Pumpkin Records Salto Mortale Seitan’s Hell Bike Punks tenzenmen No Funeral Records
Today I’m feeling:
Happy and content. I’m so happy that Amy is back and made our house back into a home again. Everything is clean and tidy! It’s not that I’m terribly messy and dirty but my standard and its importance is lower.
Today I’m grateful for:
Kru Jern for fixing up some things in the class attendance system for me. It’s important to have a good connection with some co-teachers because sometimes there are things that need to be done that I can’t do by myself.
The best thing about today was:
Unprompted, Kru David commented positively on my new Monotone trousers today. It’s nice to hear that though I never would expect that about my trousers as they are relatively plain when compared to some of the shirts I wear!
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I have a smart kid in one class (Kwang) who suffers from a lack of direction and absent parents. She’s smart enough to avoid working hard and avoid getting in too much trouble.
This week she explained that her phone touchscreen is broken and that she can’t do my work whilst in class but promised that she would do it at home in the evening, which she then didn’t do.
As I have two old spare phones I figured I would donate one to her so she could do my work in class. I struggled to remember to find it this morning but in the end, I picked it up and found the charging cable too.
I waited for the homeroom teacher to appear in the morning and told her of my idea which she thought was a good solution. However, Kwang’s grandparents sent a message that morning that she wouldn’t be in school today!
I left the phone with the homeroom teacher as Kwang will likely show more respect for receiving it from her than from me.
Something I learned today?
Of course, surely, I learned many things today but they all seem relatively minor and inconsequential as I try to summon them here to write.
Name five ways you are quite difficult to deal with?
I still have a childish reaction to being told what to do and how to do things sometimes, even when offered in good faith and it being a better solution than what I’m trying.
I enjoy things that most people don’t and I detest many things that others seem to enjoy. I’ve softened somewhat over the years and can bear small amounts of detestability. In general, this revolves around entertainment such as music and movies mostly.
I’m happy to be by myself and don’t need much interaction to be satisfied. It’s not that I don’t like people, I really do. It’s more that I don’t find a large percentage particularly interesting and I often don’t feel like investing the time to go deep with them. Others though, will appear that immediately interest me. I can wait for them to show up.
I still sometimes struggle with changing tack after I’ve invested time and effort into the direction I’ve been going. Working in Thailand has definitely made me improve myself with this as changes can manifest with little warning.
In the past, I was quite contrarian, in connection with point 1 here. However, I would say that I am not at all outwardly like that these days, though the thoughts are still entertained internally!
I took this picture because this is an accurate reflection of my place in this world. At the walls of my palace sit the beasts and the jungle.
Positive and relaxed. The calm before the storm. Back in the classroom tomorrow. Looking forward to it.
Today I’m grateful for:
All the folks who have been diligently working on putting together the Jornada Del Muerta 12” over in Turkey. I can see it has been difficult for them to organise and all I’ve had to do is just send money when necessary. Hopefully, the packages turn up safely though I don’t expect to have anything for Friday which is the release date.
The best thing about today was:
Getting a haircut. My winter cut. The Lady was very busy today as the locals were all bringing their kids in, as many go back to school tomorrow.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Amy and I went up to the book fair at the University this afternoon. Before we left I’m sure I heard her say it was at the library so when we arrived nearby I headed off in that direction. When we got there there was nothing on and Amy asked me why I came to the library!
She was annoyed with me but at the same time didn’t know where the fair was either. We got pointed in the right direction and as Amy grumpily walked back I was happily enjoying the perfect temperature and the beautiful smell of evening flowers in the air. It was good to be able to walk anyway.
Something I learned today?
Leaked documents show that Israel deliberately shot its own people when Hamas attacked them on October 7th, blaming Hamas for all the deaths. Just to justify the genocide they are now carrying out in what is left of Palestine. Other documents show plans to remove all Palestinians from Gaza and into Egypt.
I took this picture because MFU sure is photogenic at this time.
Conditioned to live up to the image imposed Wasting time searching for perfection Society’s dictates are not as supposed So stand tall to issue a rejection
Blow away the prejudice clouds One’s own nature is found only in fact Forget about the opinions of crowds Practice how to think and act
Words are as powerful as bricks Their poison remembered forever Fall not to the devilish tricks Of the twisted dogmas made clever
Heal the wounds held within Another’s reality can no longer touch Getting even is considered a sin And never accomplishes much
No questions asked, assumptions arise Understand and be understood The best is the one who always tries And whatever the result, it’s good
Super tired. I’m not quite ready for an early start and return to school tomorrow yet. But, that’s my new reality so it’s going to happen whether I’m ready or not.
Today I have to clean up my man cave and move back in. Amy will be happy to have me out of the house!
Today I’m grateful for:
My working desk that almost fell apart as I was trying to move it out of the house. It did break in a couple of places but there are enough bits holding everything in place that it can still be safely used.
The best thing about today was:
The satisfaction of scrubbing the floor of my man cave clean and getting it looking almost new again.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
It seems there’s a problem with my stereo that keeps muting the sound at what seems like random times. Also none of the USB ports were working on my computer after the move. I’m dealing with it by trying again tomorrow as I’ve run out of energy this evening already.
Something I learned today?
Israel’s bombing of Gaza has killed 35 UN workers helping refugees, destroyed 20 UN buildings, bombed the safe spaces they advised Gazans to go and it looks like they’ve also killed 50 Israelis that were recent hostages. It looks like they wish to completely wipeout Palestine and that will probably draw others into a bigger war.
And at the same time as the USA is arming and protecting Israel, Americans are busy killing each other in their own cities.
Can this world find any peace?
How do I utilize my strengths on a daily basis?
Patience is the main strength that I get to utilise every day. Monday to Friday at school and then back at home with Amy for the rest of the time. I don’t mean to imply that I need to be patient all the time but that it will be tested at various times during the day.
I took this picture because the pandan has really grown over the last month and outside our back door now smells delicious!
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