Holding Hands – 23rd November 2023

The aching thrill of first holding hands
Believing it is only love that understands
But merging doesn’t make you as one
Still alone when the other has gone


Today I’m feeling:

Pretty positive despite a disrupted sleep due to coughing. That’s improved a little throughout the morning and I just hope I can control it when I’m sitting in the dentist’s chair. 

Today I’m grateful for:

Some of my grade 8 students stopped by to help with my grade 7’s and helped them with some reading. I think it showed both groups some healthy things.

For my grade 7’s they saw that we are all in it together, helping each other. They also saw how in interact with the grade 8’s and how they interact comfortably with me.

For the grade 8’s they can realise how much they have progressed since they were doing similar work last year.

7.30pm – just got out from the dentist after a successful removal of my dirty old gnarly broken tooth. I’m grateful to the dentist who did a great job explaining everything and quickly and easily removing the tooth.

I can always remember the Hong Kong dentist back in Chatswood who was so short that he had to brace his foot against the chair to pull out one of my wisdom teeth. It took him a good few minutes.

The best thing about today was:

Getting home around midday feeling quite happy and satisfied with things and then hopping into bed for a little Thai study and some comic book reading before weird disrupted light sleep that I enjoyed because of crazy thoughts and dreams.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

At the dentist I was given three options for my broken tooth.

One was for root canal and crown but they said it would involve removing some bone along the whole side of the jaw to keep everything level. I didn’t like the sound of that much.

Another option is to pull the tooth and replace it with an implant but that is 45000 baht! Two months wages!

The final option is to pull the tooth and recap the surrounding teeth with a bridge. That will be about 21000 baht! Still expensive.

I asked about pulling the tooth and just leaving it empty but it was clear from the X-ray that the tooth alongside will fall over into the gap and be a bigger problem in the future. So, the bridge option it will have to be.

I have to wait a month after extraction and I’ll push it to two months as it will give me time to get paid again.

Now is the time to curse my junior self for poor teeth maintenance but well, my teeth have made it further than most of my mum’s so I’ll take it as a win.

Something I learned today?

“It takes an average of 23 minutes and 15 seconds to refocus on a task after a distraction.”

I berate my students for lack of focus but if this statement is true I can berate myself a lot of the time too!

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I encouraged Ten, who is a poor student that acts up to compensate. When he was able to read something slowly without giving up and getting frustrated I congratulated him, as did his classmate. Slowly, slowly I will chip away at his barriers and behaviours and pull him into the class as an active participant.

I complimented the dentist on her English this morning. She was worried that she didn’t know how to explain things but actually she did it very well. I’m still trying to improve my Thai but trying to listen to people talking in the dentist waiting room I can feel it is going to take a lot more time. Well, let’s hope I have a lot more time.

What am I grateful for in this moment?

I’m sitting in the dentist waiting room and grateful for the renovations they have done as everything looks new shiny and sparkling and at least gives the impression of professionalism. Hopefully I am still grateful in an hours time when they might have fixed my broken tooth or at least tide me over until next month with a temporary solution.

No picture today so let’s go back to an old favourite that I like to confuse my students with.

Break Down The Wall – 22nd October 2023

Disappointment with humanity
And the reality we conceed
To American dreams of freedom
From which we’ll never be freed

Misinformed and kept indebted
To slave away for all we need
Uneducated and ignorant
Of other points of view or creed

But the towers of empire crumble
As revolutions rise from seed
And the writing is on the wall
But only for those who read

23rd Aug 2024 – Submitted to Poets and Storytellers United – break free


Today I’m feeling:

(Early) Anxious and wound up. I went to sleep easily but woke up cold because of the intense aircon that I couldn’t figure out how to temper. Both Amy and I feel like we have colds and that could quite easily be true after being on a plane and then into the crazy humidity here. My shoulders are stiff from not moving much on this hard bed and I’m awake well before I’d like to be.

(Late) Calm and contemplative after a 2-hour massage, good food and even a reasonable enough temperature to do the short walk back to the hotel from the shopping centre. Back home tomorrow. Happy.

Today I’m grateful for:

Nong Fai for picking us up at the airport last night when we were dog-tired after a long day.

The funny taxi driver who picked us up from the train station this afternoon and then the Auntie who massaged me into pain for two hours at the hotel. Bless them all for their small parts in my story.

The best thing about today was:

Finding new work pants at Monotone and then some cheap soaps at Bath and Body Works after a train and MRT ride into the city. No rush today, everything will be ok.

Also sending a couple of boxes of things back home via a courier service so that our bags will make the weight limit for our final flight. Only 430 baht. Bargain (so long as it arrives!)

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I got caught out yet again with my visa, this time not having a re-entry permit so now I just have a 30-day visa on arrival until I go to immigration again on Tuesday.

I have a visa to stay and I can leave any time but I’m not allowed to leave without permission and not allowed back in with the visa! Frustrating.

Something I learned today?

I found the Monotone stores in BKK again today and was advised to use LINE to contact them in future rather than use Shopee as there are fake stores on there! Weird to think that people would imitate this rather small independent brand.

I took this picture because I like the message for my kids and am curious if any of them will tell me that it is grammatically incorrect. 

A Dog’s Performance Review – 17th November 2021

Oh dog, your performance is far too poor
You are not achieving what we hired you for
The rats still run rampant everywhere
You’re on probation until you start to care

Your KPI’s are well below par
Do you know exactly what you are?
Eating shoes and snapping at flies
You are a dog! Do you realise?

Scared of cats and other critters
The village bears your many litters
Hopefully, these puppies understand their job
The proper work of being a dog

Based on this article
15th Aug 2024 – Submitted to What’s Going On – cats and dogs


Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful that I have been asked to be the voice of the Chiang Rai Flower Festival again.


Amy was pretty drunk yesterday. She is obviously very excited about going to Australia and open to the possibilities there – lots of options. Sometimes when she is drunk, her emotions can swing wildly. Last night she was ok but cried a few times, not with happiness or sadness but with gratitude and appreciation for her parents and me.

We both went to bed early and I held her little body in my arms as she settled down and rolled over and found her sleep. I had some interesting dreams, with lots of people from my past.

Today I usually only have one class and that was cancelled as the kids are off for vaccinations. I knew that I had to do recording for the Chiang Rai Flower Festival today, like I did last year but I only found out that I had to go to the CRPAO official offices, next to Immigration, about 15 minutes before starting.

I met Kru Gratae and Kru Tee there and they did their Chinese version and I did the English version, even nailing the long Thai name first time. The texts they use are pretty weird, flowery words that any English speaker would immediately recognise as fantastical hyperbole. It’s pretty funny to read though.

So for the rest of the day I’m pretty much free. I will take advantage and prepare the class work for students next week, do a little reading and check out more of this free literature course that I found online.

You Bring Out The English In Me – 21st June 2021

I’m sorry to say, it’s your fault
It’s all the stupid things I see
Sarcasm is the default result
You bring out the English in me

“That’s just great, that’s amazing!”
While I wonder what the fuck you’re doing
What I mean and say are not the same thing
Over the horizon, trouble is brewing

It’s a culture clash, war with words
I see things I should never see
Slower than thirty-three and a thirds
You bring out the English in me


Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to be able to work from home today. Finally, someone at the school made the right decision for teachers to work from home due to the Covid case at school. It is the sensible decision!


Well, the students came back to school last Monday on a treacherous day of torrential rain, and it was good to see them all again. By Friday, the school was closed again due to a case of Covid that the school knew about on that first day but kept to themselves in the hope that it wouldn’t be a big deal. So typical of the Thai style. It’s very frustrating.

On Monday, Nancy was also constantly hassling me to cash her cheque and transfer her money. I was unable to get to a bank, but Amy offered to transfer it if I put some money into her account. I transferred from my account without realising it took me below the threshold needed for my visa application, which was summarily rejected on Tuesday! Now, I have to change to a 60-day visitor visa and re-apply again. I was so annoyed that it became funny.

Thailand has not endeared itself to me this week. I started wondering about leaving. We are only made to feel welcome here if we spend money. We will never be accepted as equals – sometimes it feels like a punishment for the luck of being born in a ‘better’ society. Revenge jealousy.

Anyway, I can play with my cats and the dog from next door. I still have books to read. Fuck frustration!

*This next morning – 10th July 1998

Email with TLJ

T: honey, i hope you’re feeling better than you were this morning – hope your neck is feeling better, and if not, i’ll rub it for you. don’t be falling asleep in meetings and at your desk now – cause that would be rude and inconsiderate, and just plain lazy!!!!!!! sql is really hard to learn and revise, so i thought i’d take a break and email you. but this connection is very slow and i’ve already been disconnected once. so i’d better say goodbye before i get kicked off again.
love you heaps sweety. take care my english boy, love tlj

S: A little better this morning thanks. I forced myself to fall asleep on my side (but woke up on my front). Finally went to bed about 12.45. Will stay awake a long time tonight with you if you make it over – I hope so. Come rub me and my poor sore neck. Hope sql goes well today and you get everything finished the way you want to. Thanks for the mail, mail me again and tell me you love me ssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Take care my aussie oriental dream

T: yo, ‘sup? i’m using sandie’s laptop to dial in to uni and it’s working much better.

S: One day I’ll fix yr computer – or maybe Sandie doesn’t think I’m smart enough (or sexy enough – or rich enough – or English enough)

T: anyway mutha, hope the day finds you well.

S: Not bad at all my dear considering the lack of sleep

T: got bored of accounting – so went to check email. mummy’s going through this big clean up phase which is always inevitable after we’ve had something in the house fixed up. on the 4th july, josh has planned some big walk around manly (must be to the spit bridge methinks). also that day of the big end of exam party that ren told us all about.

S: Wish I could go with ya – would like to catch up with yr friends like Ren and Tom – I’m sure some of the others are cool too – is Laura going – when do I get to meet her – then she’d really have something to bitch about

T: so i’ll have to choose between the two. also mum says i can go on this cultural exchange thing to taiwan at the end of the year just before i start industrial training. i’m not sure, but may go if deb goes (she’s this old skool frien’ o mine). i don’t think sue or di or tu would be that interested.

S: You kow I’d miss you badly but what an opportunity – get going baby but bring yr booty back to me – maybe you can put me on to di and sue while yr away!

T: it’s like an asian thing – so i’m sure you’d like to go and meet all those sexy asian chicks,

S: Oh god yes – I’m creaming myself just thinking about it

T: but you’ll look out of place and i’m sure they’re only there to meet yello boys.

S: I can be yellow too (try hard Chinese too!)

T: cause you english boys just don’t cut it yo, and there’s no way you play ball or know enough about r&b to be a cool asian.

S: Yeah well fuck R&B. Asians are just in it for the hipness – they really wanna just go and pick rice and live in mud huts – not really interested in Tamagotchi and CK are they? All a big pose. Are you gonna fight me now??

T: oh yeah, and they always look 15 years younger than they really are,

S: Does that mean yr only 4?

T: and i don’t think yo r 15 fuck this shit don’t work ?no more. lost half my mesage mutha, get back to you later mutha fuckea man fuck – where’d all my writing shit go?

S: Well, such a pleasant way to end an email – thank you darling I’m sure your shit has gone down the toilet. Good luck with yr exams and HAVE A GREAT DAY. Call me maaan. Let me know how you went. I love you boogaloo

Fruit Salad – 2nd June 1993

The real banana said “You’re an imposter” – she was the apple of his eye. The yellow-skinned imposter smiled. His face twisted like he’d just sucked a lemon.

“No I’m not” he objected. It was their first date. He had sucked her dry. Once a grape, now a raisin.

The man with the pineapple haircut interjected “Excuse me. I don’t think the cream and cottage cheese were necessary in such large amounts.” He thought the imposter was a pervert. He wasn’t wrong. The cream was whipped.

The imposter slipped on the banana. He fell – it was a peach! Caught in the act. Plum-dumb.

Still life isn’t a bowl of cherries.

2nd Aug 2024 – Submitted to dVerse OLN – just for fun!