There’s a moral obligation to provide The more power, the more the obligation Punish those with their authority Cheating at a higher level of corruption
Yet these moral rules never applied As they’d level the field for all to play Perhaps we do not have moral principles As Simone was want to say
inspired by an Existential Comics page about Simone Weil
Today I’m feeling:
Tired and dizzy, swaying between depression and happiness
Today I’m grateful for:
Amy’s mum and dad again, bringing me food and watering the garden when I had no enthusiasm for cooking/eating or any kind of effort. I need to water daily now as the ground is getting so parched but I haven’t had the energy for 3 or 4 days.
The best thing about today was:
Reading a lot – it was the only thing that felt satisfying. I played guitar for a while but got frustrated easily. I almost finished updating one book of writing into the blog and started preparing my old poems and lyrics so that felt like I achieved something today. For the afternoon I savoured a few more Anton Chekov short stories, a couple of chapters of Affluenza and a couple of issues of Touch and Go. I was reading to get inspiration to write some poems but my brain is still muddled from medicines though I did finally manage to squeeze out four lines.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I video-called with Amy a couple of times during the day. She had been out drinking with her flatmate and was in a happy mood. Unfortunately, I wasn’t but I told myself that I was happy to see her so happy and she did look attractive to me with her big laugh and bright eyes.
Something I learned today?
Through reading today I must have learned lots of things but perhaps they are not particularly significant as they reinforce things that I already know or believe.
What am I looking forward to in the coming year?
This is not something I’ve really thought about. I expect this year to be similar to last and that would be fine for me, I really enjoyed last year. I do look forward to Amy coming back and trying her hand at running a business here and that would entail some changes with the house and that would be an exciting development. But if that doesn’t happen I know everything will still be fine.
I took this picture because this weird plant that seems to grow easily around our cactuses (it may even be a cactus) sported some flowers I found today. The root of the plant grows at crazy angles, sometimes even turning a full 180. I’ve stuck them against some fencing to hopefully encourage them to go straight for a while!
Why suffer to win a meaningless victory? The search for glory, the greater goal? Do we strive just because we can And winning fills the heart and soul?
inspired and plagiarised from Existential Comics
Poverty is not necessary. It is a social, economic and political failure, usually caused by a history of injustice.
Chris Tomlinson
This ends a year of finding quotes every day. I wrote them all in a book that I will gift to Hayden. I’m going to fill up the book with some choice lyrics that also inspired me.
Today I’m feeling:
Motivated and energetic
Today I’m grateful for: Well, I’m grateful for Amy again. Despite her being busy preparing food for a party at our house tonight she still made me pasta for dinner and enough to feed me for three more meals in the freezer. All her friends are happy to come here and enjoy Amy’s entertainment.
The best thing about today was:
Having that feeling of motivation again and not being too tired and lethargic at the end of the day. While Amy was busy I was preparing some lessons and discovering new worksheets and things for the kids to read and then also updating old entries for my blog and things like that. I’ve managed to keep going fairly well today. I hope I can keep it up.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
At the party tonight I was actually expecting to be joining them and eating with them and didn’t realise that when Amy made dinner for me I was supposed to eat it quickly. I was hungry anyway so it didn’t really matter and when I think about it Amy planned well because she and her friends will be chat-chat-chatting in Thai.
I’m okay to just sit and enjoy everyone having a good time but I can’t really add much to the conversations and things like that, so it’s good that Amy allowed that I wouldn’t be part of the party although I was around and still talking a little bit with everyone. It’s nice not to have the expectation and to feel a bit like the odd one out.
Something I learned today?
Today I watched an interview with Andy Boreham and the ex-prime minister of New Zealand John Keys and they were talking about China, in particular, John Keys was talking about his experience of China and I pretty much had to agree with everything that he said and so I didn’t really learn anything new but just confirmed something that I already believed.
It’s okay to listen and watch things that confirm things that you already believe but also I’m interested in other arguments or a point of view.
I watched another video of someone whose reports I usually enjoy but this one, whilst it was about something that happened between China and America there was something that he was saying that didn’t feel like it fell in line with what I believe to be true. I wanted to understand his argument for the particular situation but because of other things that were said that seem to be common putdowns about China put me off wanting to watch any more about it.
It’s a shame because even people who seem to have a balanced view can fall into rhetoric or just follow what is accepted as fact when actually, if it’s not accepted by some people, such as myself in this case, then it affects what they are trying to argue. Maybe I would change my mind on his point but because of other statements around it, I was put off to listen further.
It goes to show how difficult it is for people presenting news and reporting to just stick with, I’m going to say facts but is it facts or just accepted truth? It’s difficult to judge for anyone now as a listener, as a watcher. We all get caught in this trap.
Write about your most embarrassing moment.
I’m struggling to think of something that was really embarrassing to me since I became an adult.
So, I can remember a time when it was a Christmas time family party and my grandad played a prank on me. I guess I was about 12 or 13. He was selling it as a seance and that he was contacting people from beyond. He had me rub my finger on the underside of a plate and then touch various parts of my face and apparently, this would help communicate.
After about 10 minutes they showed me a mirror and what had happened was that they tricked me and they had burned a candle under the bottom of the plate and obviously I was running my finger along there and putting soot all over my face and when I was shown the mirror and saw myself, I was so upset and unhappy.
I couldn’t believe that I had been made to look so foolish in front of the family. I hated my granddad for a long time after that.
I took this picture because I am the clown, the entertainer, and the teacher. These were the kids at the restaurant from a couple of days ago. I will drop some simple English books for them one day. No new photos today.
Dang! And back into it!
Two morning classes, push, push, make these kids work, no easing into things. They responded well enough and I feel satisfied. We know what to expect of each other on the battlefield as we push for a win-win outcome.
Some will be lost, maybe lost already. Some will return and be pulled into the unit by improving maturity.
I tried to encourage Poppy this morning by showing her a magic card trick but she wasn’t sure why I was doing that. I think she will go off and think about that a bit more. She needs attention, which she no longer gets as she lost her friends. I will try a couple more times. She’s hard-nosed and unsure of things but presents a tough exterior. I’m reminded of myself, of course.
My body’s at war with my brain One or the other is broken again My aching joints keep me awake I wonder how much more I can take As I sink into deeper depression My muscles dissolve in regression Ever-declining circles of pain My body’s at war with my brain
You’ve got to hand it to capitalism, convincing everyone that ‘freedom’ meant obeying your boss or starving was a pretty incredible achievement.
Existential Comics
Today I’m grateful for: The gardeners for coming and taking care of things whilst I was at work. It’s nice to come home and everything looking respectable. They even collected all the passion fruit up from the ground for me. The best thing about today was: Talking with my students – as is often the case. Each time I communicate with them I hope it improves their confidence even just a little. As more students talk to me, others find the courage too.
We’re losing time at every turn Flowers fading, friendships burn Ten years gone away decayed Misremembered memories made These stretched-out days are gone No more excitements come along Familiarity, habits and tradition Time warped by their repetition
Knowledge is a dialogue and your idea and mine can refine each other towards the truth.
from Existential Comics
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful for our big washing machine that can easily clean our doonas.
1994ever 