Tag: gardening

Who Will Believe In Me? – 28th April 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Since the times of wild Gods
Searching across the cities
In need of a believer
Not influenced by pities

Acts of the ordinary
Songs of appreciation
Is your concern real
Or needing validation?

Each note truly matters
A genuine harmony
Watching for a moment
Or care for eternity

Submitted to Writer’s Workshop Prompts – genuine, NaPoMo and inspired by the Red Hand Files #279

Today I’m feeling:

Tired and a little dizzy. For some reason last night, I couldn’t get to sleep until about 5 am, not just usual tossing and turning but first with a headache and then a feeling of being wide awake. It was annoying and my thoughts were generally dull and nostalgic. I’m totally out of whack today but forced myself up at 9 though skipped exercise.

Today I’m grateful for:

Having a month off work and not having to spend much money on petrol meant that I had enough money left to be able to buy more cat food today.

The best thing about today was:

Getting into the garden at 6 pm and replanting the little tree that was in a pot but whose roots meant that it kept getting blown over.  I don’t know if it will make it where I’ve planted it but at least it standing upright again.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Definitely my sleep. It’s pretty unusual for me to not be able to fall asleep easily these days and I also need to get back into my working-week sleep pattern again soon.

Something I learned today?

It’s near the end of the League Championship football season and Ipswich are in third place with two games to play.  Leicester are in first place, also with two games left and Leeds are second with only one game to play.

Any of these three could finish first but I just want Ipswich to get promoted to the Premier League.  I doubt that they will fair well there but if they can hang around for a few years that would be good.

I’m still surprised that Bournemouth is in the EPL and Southampton in the Championship.

Did you do something difficult or challenging today?

Not napping in the afternoon was a bit of a challenge but I managed it and fingers crossed I can sleep ok tonight.  As the day has gone on I have felt an improvement in my mood which is a good sign.

Little Art took this picture of Piti, which I’m spoiling.

Overflow – 21st April 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 8 Comments

I’m pouring rainbows down on you
Until your cup is filled
You’ll overflow with a love so true
It can never be killed
All your seeds will bear fruit
In fields never to be tilled
Joy spread deep from the root
A life spent fulfilled

Submitted to No Theme Thursday picture prompt, Weekly Prompts Weekend Challenge – Flow and NaPoMo.

Today I’m feeling:

Pretty good after a long sleep from the day of travelling yesterday. Should be a relaxing day ahead.

Today I’m grateful for:

Aircon.  I don’t know how many times I’ve said this but today was freaking unbearable outside between 10am (when I woke up) and around 6pm.  Even just going to the kitchen or bathroom was a chore. It’s going to be hotter this coming week too!

The best thing about today was:

I didn’t do much to speak of today though when the sun did finally relent I enjoyed watering the parched earth in the garden.

Something I learned today?

Charles Cunningham Boycott (12 March 1832 – 19 June 1897) was an English land agent whose ostracism by his local community in Ireland gave the English language the term boycott.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I gave Art and Noey some gifts of candy that I picked up at the market in Chiang Saen yesterday.

What’s a recent realization I’ve had about myself?

I’m starting to BE old.  I’m not in need of thrills or excitement so much these days.

I think I realised this when I think about travelling overseas. When I think about going somewhere with Amy I’m not so interested in planning things to do and where to go. 

When I see people in places on YouTube videos I think that might be nice to go and see but I’ve just seen it pretty well. I would be taking the same photos every other traveller has taken. I feel like I may not be able to savour it deep into my soul like I might have done before. I’m much more amenable to just getting on a tour bus and letting others deal with logistics.

Having said that I’m still interested in organising a tour for a band around Southeast Asia and dealing with the stress of that, perhaps because the shows would give me the drive and inspiration I’d need.

Perhaps this is not a great realisation but has crossed my mind more recently.

Amy took this picture because this princess was enjoying our (relatively) expensive prawns yesterday.

The Muddy River – 6th April 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Don’t wait until it’s too late to realise
A life isn’t lived if it’s lived in fear
Even though we fall we still hope to rise
We sure could use a drink down here

The further we go the further back we get*
The possibilities only ever feel near
Along the way exclaiming ‘Are we there yet?’
We sure could use a drink down here

Wherever this winding river will lead
Its waters are more muddy than clear
It pays to suffer, it pays to bleed
And we sure could use a drink down here

Submitted to Writer’s Workshop Prompts – thirsty and NaPoMo
*Appropriated from Mudhoney

Today I’m feeling:

Lazy and happy.  Woke up at 10 am and have not been motivated to do much of anything really.

I came across this quote yesterday that I quite liked:

“Delusions believed by billions are still delusions and the truth of one humanity embraced by even one human is still the truth.”

Abhijit Naskar

Today I’m grateful for:

Finally receiving my classes list for next semester.  I have a wider range of classes so will have to do more preparation and will start getting into that on Monday.

The best thing about today was:

Eating a bowl of LungChom ice cream.  It’s been a year that I’ve been denying myself because it is so nice and I was getting too fat from it, so I’ll enjoy it again now and try to resist falling into any further addiction.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Talking with Anchan breaks my heart.  She doesn’t know anything about what happened with her mum in court and is sad, lonely and frustrated in Chiang Mai.  I discovered that her mum is in a Myanmar prison which is just a nightmare.

I suggested many things to try and take her mind off her situation but she is in a pretty negative state of mind.  She did cry that she should be enjoying her teenage life and not having to deal with all this.

I saw that her and Fah were friendly at the end of last semester so I contacted Fah and asked her to chat with Anchan, just to be a friend.  I hope some contact will keep her a little grounded.

Something I learned today?

Bonism – the doctrine that the world is good, although not the best of all possible worlds

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I moved around some plants for Amy and fixed up the vine plant so that it should grow over the empty roof space and hopefully give some natural shade at least.

Mee took this picture sometime last year. I’m pleased that she is feeling better than last year.

Message Understood – 2nd April 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Are you receiving
My vibrations,
Detecting these
Oscillations?

I’ve got a message for you
That you’re gonna wanna hear
Are you receiving me
Loud and clear?

Signals in space
Time has come
A human race
Together as one

I’ve got a message for you
You’d better be ready
There’s only growing up
To keep the ship steady

Are you receiving
These modulations?
Mind control
Manipulations

Message understood
You’d better tell everyone
That you’re ready
For what will come

Inspired by the main story of the Three Body Problem and an allegory for a student of mine who is struggling to grow up to face the future.
Submitted to Writer’s Workshop Prompts – radio and NaPoMo.

Today I’m feeling:

Pretty healthy and active.  Amy was out last night with Takky, Hangy and Berm so I had some free time to read, write and watch TV.  And it appears to be more of the same tonight too.  I want to be productive.

As I jumped into bed last night I caught this thought as I was opening up Telegram to get the latest reports from Rise of the Global South. ‘I read just enough tragic news that the axis of evil inflicts on people around the world to go to sleep with just the right amount of indignation.’

This month usually sees me making some adaptations to things that I do.  I deleted a whole bunch of Substack subscriptions. One, because there are other things I want to do with my time and two, I’m sick of reading so much about the dysfunction and lies from and about the USA.  It seems like inconsequential news to me these days.  It is all so negative and decisive too.  It’s not a good impact on the psyche.

I want to focus more on Asia and China as it is more relevant to my location and news is mostly just that – news.  No opinions, no vague nonsense masquerading as news.  And I also want to avoid news that is constantly comparing the USA and China.  It’s kinda moot these days.

Today I’m grateful for:

A quiet day of few plans, all achieved.

The best thing about today was:

Spending some time dinking around in my room, trying to organise computer files, reading and writing, though no guitar playing today.

Something I learned today?

Through some miracle, Ipswich is in the top position in the Championship.  It’s super close with Leeds and Leicester in the race too.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I spent some time this morning tidying up our cables along the fence.

I also cleaned out the litter tray and swept the floor in our bedroom.

4/6 Time – 1st August 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Keep the rhythm
Hold onto harmony
No sleepwalking

Meditate on
Presence and principles
Mindful essence

Stop pulling strings
No imagination
Confine yourself

To the present
All with objective calm
It’s up to us

inspired by a recent Stoa Letter newsletter

9th Jun 2024 – Submitted to the Word of the Day Challenge

Today I’m feeling:

A bit more lively and with it. Forgotten now, I know that I had a few different but quite realistic dreams. I was happy to enjoy them. I also managed to push through 75 star jumps and ride my pushie to Utopia for coffee. If I could tell myself every morning that a good day always starts with exercise perhaps I could motivate myself to do it at weekends.

Today I’m grateful for:

The digging tool we have for working in the garden. I guess it’s a hoe of some sort as it can be used for that too. Swing it high and hard enough though and it can dig. I’m also grateful for the recent rains making the ground a little easier to dig too. The two little trees were quickly in the ground and I look forward to watching them mature.

The best thing about today was:

Watching Amy bravely battle an arm-sized tokay in the kitchen and work room. I knew she wouldn’t rest until it was caught and outside. We had to chase it a bit and move some furniture but eventually, I managed to trap it in a plastic bin against the wall and Amy slid a mat across the top and quickly carried it outside where it finally ran off. 

I think the lizards look amazing and they are pretty shy. They only get agitated if you bother them. They do shit everywhere though, along with all the little geckos that are running around our house. 

I’m going to buy some lizard repellent sometime, though Amy said she read reviews that they can actually attract more lizards rather than get rid of them!

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Amy had a few requests for jobs for me to do during the day but as I was in an improved mood I just did them happily.

Something I learned today?

I chuckled at a report today of the EU sending warships to the South China Sea to protect trade routes from Chinese interference. More than 80% of the shipping through the SCS are ships coming from and going to China! The spin of the hypocrites in the West is amazing. Is there another agenda?

What do I want to focus on this month?

Focus? I’m not sure to be honest. Trying to save a little money would be useful because I have to buy a lot of cat food and get the car serviced this month. But basically, it is business as usual. Teaching, learning, reading, writing, guitar, cleaning, coffee, exercise.

Amy took this picture because she was quite proud of her carrot cakes. They look great but we haven’t tasted them yet. I’m sure they will taste great too though.

Echo Chamber – 9th July 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

The walls may be far away
But as words reverberate uninterrupted
The room collapses around my ears
Til their meaning becomes corrupted

Today I’m feeling:

I didn’t know how I felt this morning but by the afternoon I didn’t feel good. I feel sick without having any symptoms. I have low energy and motivation which seems to be a theme on weekends. I know I’m a little down after thinking about how Amy may not settle down here again but I feel like there’s something else going on. Dodgy guts aren’t helping things either.

Today I’m grateful for:

All the people who make things happen in order for me to order cat food from my phone and have it delivered to my house a couple of days later. As I was unpacking it I consider what a technological marvel this is that those born this century will take for granted. The global supply chain should be celebrated and not used for political machinations. It’s a great example of humans working together. It reminds me of the Bill Hicks line, if we can shoot rockets from far away and have them fly into specific windows to kill supposed terrorists, why can’t we use that technology to shoot food into hungry people’s mouths? Indeed.

The best thing about today was:

Unmotivated days like today don’t provide any high points but I did get a little satisfaction from pulling out weeds around the cactuses. 

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

One thing that may be affecting my mood is that last night as I was contemplating going to bed I saw a transaction come through for 4000 baht which was for my podcast hosting that I had planned to cancel by sending myself a reminder last month. The reminder didn’t work. I cancelled the account immediately but don’t get refunded anything. An expensive lesson. At least it didn’t happen at the end of the last month and fuck up my bank account for my visa. So I’m trying to spin it as a good thing though it’s not quite working I must admit.

Something I learned today?

I just went out to shut the gate and could see the shadow of a cat under the car so went to see who it was. It wasn’t our boys because they were both inside eating. As I bent down to look underneath I saw it climb up into the engine area and disappear! I always thought the engine was completely shielded from the ground but apparently not. I went inside to get the torch and key. I couldn’t see any obvious animal-looking thing inside and I started the engine to scare it out though maybe it had already decided to dash off before that. I wonder if it was the cat I saw this morning and if I had actually brought it home from somewhere! Seems unlikely but I hope my car doesn’t become an unsuspecting cat taxi.

What’s unique about where I live?

The unique thing about where I live is me.  I’m the odd one out. This is quiet jungle village life in a non-English-speaking tropical country and there’s a wild-haired white-skinned punk here. This nail has not been hammered down yet.

I took this picture because I had just let Tigger out the back door and remembered that Tangmo might still be at the front door so I went to check and found this visitor instead. She ran away in Tigger’s direction which wasn’t the wisest choice but she soon figured out an escape. She looked healthy and had beautiful swirling colour whilst slinking away. Never seen her before.

The Contradiction – 4th June 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 1 Comment

There are always days I disagree
With all the things that even I believe
The human condition
Is a contradiction
But I’m still blessed to receive

Today I’m feeling:

I woke up hot as the aircon conked out in the middle of the night and for some reason, my hips, back and shoulders were stiff and aching badly. It took me a while to get moving. It wasn’t until later in the morning that I felt more comfortable again. I also found some nice stretches that I hope will help too along with some advice on sleeping positions which may be the root of the problem. I also bought some gym rings earlier this week and today I hung them in the entertainment area so that I can hang from them and get a good whole-body stretch, my poor old wrists willing.

Today I’m grateful for:

Boss at Utopia advising me about an aircon repair shop just in the next building to there. I’m still not good at recognising the shops here. Pictures can be very misleading on buildings as they might just be being used for shade or advertising for another business somewhere else. A lot of shops don’t offer much information on the outside either. Rural Thailand also isn’t the sort of place where you can walk down the street and just check out stores either. Through translation tools and my broken Thai, I managed to arrange for someone to come and check out the aircon tomorrow though later got a message saying it may have to be on another day. I know all these repair people are busy fixing broken aircon everywhere at the moment.

The best thing about today was:

Feeling an improvement in my body from the stretching and hanging. Once my body felt better I felt compelled to be doing things such as a bit of cutting back the crazy vine and some watering in the garden as well as ironing my shirts. I did take an afternoon nap again though only for the duration of one play-through of Yes’s Drama today. I did feel good enough to play some guitar again too. I totally skipped it yesterday.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Aside from taking a nap and my body aches as mentioned there’s nothing that really bothered me today.

Something I learned today?

In Sapiens I was reading about The Problem of Evil and why do bad things happen to good people. If we remove the judgement elements from the sentence and reduce it to ‘why do things happen to people’, the problem disappears.

How am I feeling right now?

I’m in bed now about to read and sleep and I can feel a little ache in my back again and I’m worried I’m going to feel stiff and achy again in the morning. I’ll try to keep the advice about sleep position in my subconscious during the night and hopefully that can help. Mentally I’m feeling pretty good. Did some reading, writing, guitar playing and Thai study to keep my brain moving.

I took this picture because Tigger cries to come into the living room just so he can sit on my shirts that are waiting to be ironed.

Done – 21st March 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

In the time it took to read this line
A million things could’ve been done
I’m feeling fine, searching for the perfect rhyme
Though perhaps this isn’t the one

Did you do the things you always wanted to?
Or just work away the days
I guess it’s true we never think things through
And time is the crime that never pays

Today I’m feeling:

Good but a little tired due to sleeping late. Walked to Utopia as a counter to having an afternoon nap, coming to try their new Affagato which has got my heart racing. Contemplating what to do if I go home or to walk on to Daytripper but then what to do there…

Today I’m grateful for:

My crappy old earphones that allowed me to listen to a podcast as I walked around in the heat. Am I the old man that prefers to listen to people talking about music rather than listening to music?

The best thing about today was:

In the afternoon, after walking back home and having a shower I felt inspired to read and got hungry so ate my salad before calling Amy at cat feeding time.

Still with some energy, I did a bit of watering as dusk settled in.

As I went to close the gate I was still not satisfied and decided to pull up the vines that grow behind our driveway’s tall grass. Pulling them out is a great feeling and I didn’t really notice the humidity, the grass cuts on my fingers and my itchy skin until Tangmo came along and distracted me and we played with his rope which he happily brought back each time I threw it.

In total darkness now I got back inside and had my third shower for the day.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

A message came through for teachers to spend the next week or so crammed in the big hall doing lesson plans. I reckon we’ll be able to drift out pretty quickly but still, it’s not a thrilling prospect, especially as I’m already doing lots of work around my lessons.

Oh well, I have a plan to do the flashcard glueing whilst I’m there rather than do it at home. That’s a good use of the time for me at least. I’ll get my head around everything else and it will be ok.

Something I learned today?

A study produced by Ipsos in Paris found that the Chinese are overwhelmingly the happiest people of the 32 countries questioned. Of course, it’s just one study and people are quick to bring up other studies as counterarguments but there seem to be more and more of these kinds of positive happiness studies of China appearing.

What is the most beautiful place I’ve ever visited?

I’ve seen some beautiful places in Australia, China, Japan, Thailand, Malaysia and pretty much most places I’ve been.

But sometimes there are simple places that stand out not just because of their beauty, which may be seen at any time of year or over the years and decades; places that brought a euphoria with them that might never be repeated, the smells and sounds nostalgic indicators, the people those moments may have been shared with.

Riding a pushbike through Branksome Chine, a hidden pond in the English countryside discovered one summer evening, the rocks off the path in the bush down to Middle Harbour discovered during a lunch break with TLJ, in an artists warehouse anticipating bands to perform.

I took this picture because I’d noticed these flowers on the weekend as I rode home. As I was walking today I had time to stop and grab this shot.

On Anger – 12th February 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Why is it cold in winter?
Why do I get sick at sea?
And why the hell do the people
In the street keep jostling me?

Today I did some things wrong
And maybe I got some things right
What can I do better next time
I’ll reflect on that each night

inspired and borrowed from Seneca

Today I’m feeling:

Good. A little nervous to get back into the classroom but it will be good to get back to it for the last five or so weeks of the semester.

Today I’m grateful for:

My step ladder and broom that allowed me to get to the leaves on the coverings of the outbuildings so that I could clean them up a little. If I want to complete the job I need to get up on the roof again. Not sure I’m quite ready for that adventure.

The best thing about today was:

My mind. From waking til bedtime my mind has been happily occupied with restful and positive thoughts. I even stopped myself a couple of times and thought ‘hey, I feel good!’ Could it be down to a good eight or nine-hour sleep? Can I convince my brain to get eight hours more often as perhaps my aim of seven hours is not serving me best?

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

All good today perhaps because I have been thinking about my classes tomorrow and how to counter the risk of them getting out of control. I’m not sure I’ve done enough but tomorrow will tell the tale.

Something I learned today?

Yesterday I learned that there is no border crossing between Turkey and Armenia. Something to do with the two countries not having good relations though I don’t know why.

Today I read Fukuyama’s The End of History essay which was written in 1989. It was an interesting read that in hindsight has perhaps been proven not to be quite as predicted. I would like to see his reflection on it now.

What brings my life meaning and purpose?

My thoughts are the only things that can bring my life meaning and purpose. My thoughts may drive me to action and those actions will be assigned meaning and purpose by my thoughts. And my actions and thoughts will be assigned meaning and purpose by others, though they may not be the same.

I took this picture because this is the friendly happy cute dog at the shop next to Utopia where I’m getting LardNa for lunch before heading to Daytripper again to hang out for the afternoon.

There You Are – 8th January 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

No matter which road you take
You’ll always sigh
And wish you’d taken another
Yet no error is a true mistake
Do you know why?
Because really, there is no other

inspired by The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost, who wrote the first three lines in a letter to Edward Thomas, whom the poem was written for.

Today I’m feeling:

Pretty good, a little weird that Amy, who fills up my world when here, is gone again. Just me and the cats.

Today I’m grateful for:

A customer at Utopia who I’ve seen there before greeted me this morning. I returned the greeting and will try to chat more with him in future.

The best thing about today was:

Getting a bit of motivation back, though it took until it got dark again for me to start actioning it. I cleared a few emails in backlog, picked up the guitar again and sorted out more of the neverending files of new music to enjoy.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I told Amy about our broken pipe perhaps in the hope that she knew who could fix it. She called to her parents and soon they were here and Dad was hacking away at the concrete around the pipe. I wasn’t sure how necessary that was or what he was trying to do, but I let him get on with it.

Amy’s dad is ok at fixing things but they are done with ease in mind rather than aesthetics. Much as I would do if I attempted to fix things and that’s why I usually prefer to pay someone to do it instead.

Dad gave up in the end and said he’d find a plumber and come back. I think it would’ve been better to have come to that decision before hacking away at stuff.

I’m grateful for his attempt and I didn’t really get involved. The plumber will come tomorrow and let’s hope it’s not just some guy who Dad knows can fix stuff better than him.

After they left I ate lunch and forgot all about it.

Something I learned today?

The name of the game being played in the Lahu village yesterday was Khosue (in Lahu) or Lukon (?) in Thai. I’m not sure I got the Thai word right as I only heard it spoken.

Can you save your time?

This is a weird question. Can I, do I, did I? I’m not sure what it’s getting at. Time is not something that can be saved. Does it mean, can you do something more quickly? Perhaps, probably. But to what end? I could get other people to do everything for me and revoke any reason to live!

I took this picture because in my effort this morning to do some gardening I snapped the pipe that the hose attaches to. The world is testing me.