Now we are the Nazis We are ISIS, the terrorists We accepted hatred For our motivational bomb-schools Where lessons learned Were in books burned As we mistook our enemies To be the ones fooled
Now we commit genocide From romantic shelter Far away from freedom Forcing refugees at our borders No ifs, just rifle butts Force of power, force power cuts And bodies pile up Of those who were simply following orders
The stash of Pocky that Amy left here because she couldn’t fit it in her luggage when going back to Australia. Now I can use them as birthday gifts for my students!
The best thing about today was:
I want to say my students but they were probably also the worst thing about today too! They make me laugh and they make me cry.
Goya and Pat gave me friendship bracelets (just pieces of string).
Fah and Boty play jokes on me and Bright always enjoys having jokes played on him.
And of course, they all try to get away with murder when they think I’m not looking.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
The usual group of 1/7 students were late to my class again and I marked them as ‘absent’. I could tell 4 of them were debating whether to just skip class then but decided to stay though they weren’t very happy.
They soon cheered themselves up together though and were very happy when I rewarded them by changing their status to ‘late’ instead of ‘absent’.
They come up with all sorts of bullshit excuses for being late but realise they don’t fly when all the other students are always on time.
The work is so easy too but they don’t put it together that if they just cracked on with it they could finish the class that much sooner. They’ll figure themselves out at some point.
Something I learned today?
I learned that from 1971 until 1989 US-China relations were fairly cooperative except that for the US it was a case of an enemy of my enemy is a friend and the relationship changed again once the Soviet Union fell. It makes me wonder why we have to have enemies?
How can I be more mindful and present in the moment?
I think I need to calm my thoughts a lot more again. My brain is a little overactive recently and I need to stop looking at things like Twitter and YouTube as much as I do. It’s too easy to get wound up by the stupidities of the world when in actuality things are quite sedate around my own life.
I took this picture because our jacarandas are blooming and in the misty sunrise the purple looks luscious.
Finding a stash of whiteboard markers in the teacher’s room as both of mine ran out yesterday. I was hoping to squeeze the last drop out of them until the end of the semester as new ones are usually hard to come by at this time of year. I was surprised to come across a pencil case with at least four new markers in. I was kind enough to leave two!
The best thing about today was:
With letting the M2 kids have free time today to allow those that wanted to go to Big’s funeral I enjoyed sitting with them and watching them entertain themselves with games, drawing and dancing. I was happy to let them divert their thoughts though many of Big’s class were still subdued.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
There had been mention of some kind of conference this weekend that teachers would attend though both David and I had only heard it second-hand from other Thai teachers.
As usual, communication here is shithouse and I was quite prepared to just ignore it and claim ignorance. However, as we’ve had lots of free time with sports week and scout week I made a last-minute attempt to get information by sending a message to our department head, Kru Nu. She replied but only gave the location, nothing about times or agenda. Oh well, it’s better than nothing I guess.
The Chinese whisper is that registration is from 8am to start at 9am so I reckon I’ll get there close to nine and grab coffee at House on the way.
It’s annoying that one of the cats has sprayed on my bed right near the pillow and I was hoping to be able to wash the sheets this weekend. David also told me he had to cancel plans too. As we always say, this is Thailand.
Something I learned today?
I saw a crazy video of a train line in the US that is in the same state as the recent accident there (Ohio) and holy shit I couldn’t believe that a train could even travel on it. The lines zigged and zagged and dipped and rose and looked well in need of repair.
Later I read that there have been four derailments in the last two weeks, at least one of which also contained hazardous material. Along with a video of an overturned road tanker spewing toxic gases into the air, it’s what you’d expect in a third-world country.
What details am I noticing right now?
The powerful thudding bass from either Yerm or more likely some villager’s PA where they may be singing karaoke or Thai luk krung songs. I can only hear the thuds.
I’m sleepy and may even skip my shower. I can still smell the fabric softener in my Government Issue t-shirt despite having been wearing it for a week (though only usually ten minutes a day).
I can also smell the candle burning in the bedroom to counter the smell of cat spray on my bed.
I can hear the whir of the fan in my computer and in the power supplies for the camera system.
I can feel the crick in my neck from lying down while writing this. Also the ache in my wrists.
I’m also noticing the phone battery is about to run out.
Good night Jim Bob.
From the vaults, I took this picture last month on my bike ride. Just looking at it again now makes me want to go again!
Once again, I was told I was free That I could be whatever I wanted to be So I told of the things inside my head That had filled me full of existential dread
Then I found that so many people didn’t agree I was called out and threatened constantly I never thought just because of words I said Made people so upset they’d want me dead
I realised freedom does not mean free What’s freedom to you is not so for me A common line must be towed instead If you wish to lie in a settled bed
But is it possible for us to agree That opposition is the end of you and me We don’t need to succumb to lies we’re fed Together we can travel the road ahead
Productive if only for household chores. Not sure I’ll be able to stay awake this afternoon.
Today I’m grateful for:
An afternoon cappuccino to keep me awake through the day but hopefully not so much that I can’t sleep tonight. I went out to Daytripper to enjoy it and watch the Kishore Mahbubani online course videos about US-China relations.
The best thing about today was:
A sense of achievement from sweeping up leaves, cutting back some climbing vines, preparing for cleaning off the roof, washing bedclothes, cleaning Kim’s room and getting everything ready for her to spend her nights in here again. I enjoyed doing it all.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I’m here in Kim’s room writing this and I can see that the fuckin’ ants are out of control. I wonder if this is why the doesn’t like to sit directly on the floor. I sprayed ant killer in one corner of the room where I could see them coming and going but there must be many different colonies here all vying for their pieces of territory and the pull of Kim’s food bowl.
Kim is sitting watching me and wondering what the hell is going on.
Something I learned today?
The US voted no at the UN to make food a human right. They voted no to the Convention of Rights for Persons with Disabilities. No to the Convention on the Rights of the Child and against the resolution ‘combatting Nazism and contemporary forms of racism.’ The US sure likes to be different.
What emotion am I feeling right now?
Lethargy as my body winds down from the activities of the day. My mind though is still busy but that will soon wind down too. I also have a feeling of anticipation looking forward to jumping into bed with fresh clean sheets. My body is already experiencing the sensation, I’m looking forward to it that much.
I took this picture because new sheets, new sleeps. Almost summer.
The body was weak with a cancer at the heart Viruses found a way in to rip it all apart Poison took hold and began to stake a claim So began the one hundred years of shame
Infection spread to disable all the limbs Antibodies form and internal war begins Now a puppet left to play in a rotten game Raped and tortured by a hundred years of shame
Slowly, slowly the body returns to balance Both yin and yang improve upon their talents Heads held higher to rise above the strain The beginning of the end of a hundred years of shame
Now the muscles flex, the body’s lesson learned At unity with the brain, power has returned No matter the want, things are not the same Since the end of a hundred years of shame
Today I’m feeling:
Content and energised. A long walk in the jungle and a dip in the freezing water under the waterfall really got my blood flowing.
Today I’m grateful for:
Aing and Now paying for my lunch which we had at the restaurant in the stream. All the food was delicious. Spicy seafood salad, Tom Yum soup, veggie fried rice, deep-fried fish and squid.
The best thing about today was:
Getting under the waterfall and having the air sucked out of my lungs. It was freezing and invigorating and I felt cosy once I got my shorts and t-shirt on again. I should sleep well tonight.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Last night I found Kim had a scratch on her head and was limping again, presumably from fighting, so I decided to keep her in again. I really want her to enjoy the freedom to be outside but she just can’t stay out of trouble. I’ll start putting her back in her room at night again from tomorrow.
Right now she’s in our walk-in where she’s content to recover as best she can. She still seems happy enough and is eating fine. Hopefully, she gets better soon.
Something I learned today?
There was an earthquake in Turkey and Syria a couple of days ago and China has already got people on the ground there helping. In comparison, the USA has sanctions in place for Syria which hampers Western allies’ possible efforts to help.
Syria is already crippled by civil war and US military involvement as well, removing their oil to be kept in a safe place ie. the USA!
I’m coming to respect China more and more every day. I just hope they can avoid getting dragged down by the bullying tactics of the West.
What is a word you feel that too many people use?
Taking this question literally, the word is probably ‘Mine.’
I took this picture because this was the destination for today. Khun Korn waterfall. Aing and Now said they wanted to come here as they never did during the time they were studying in Chiang Rai. They’d been busy until today so today it had to be. Just by chance, at school this morning, I met Kru Mai and Kru Karn waiting to be picked up and I guessed they were going camping with scouts. I asked them where the campsite was and it was also at Khun Korn! So I made sure to go and surprise my old students whilst visiting. They all told me that they weren’t having fun but it looked like they were really!
Guitar + Vocals – Max Ducker Bass – Michael McQueen Drums – Roger Newall Guest vocals on “Sideways” – Prue Elyn
Recorded and Mixed at Cellar Sessions Studio by Max Ducker. www.cellarsessionsstudio.com Mastered By Alan Smith at Bergerk Studios
Today I’m feeling:
Tired and a little rundown. Reasonably happy though despite some of my annoying students.
Today I’m grateful for:
The lady who I bought the salted fish from as she gave me extra sauce. Not that I could use it today. One pack is sure to be burning my ass tomorrow.
The best thing about today was:
Enjoying my classes and students despite what I mention below. We had a playful time and enjoyed learning and carried on into the playground during lunchtime.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
As usual, it was some of my students and their disrespectful attitudes and I handled it by kicking them out of my class. Other students asked if I was angry or upset but I wasn’t. I told them I was happy now that those students were gone. I think they were happy too.
Something I learned today?
I learned not to give Cap and Tig the special treats we have as it’s only for Kim. I found out when Amy watched me feeding them via video call. I thought I’d seen her giving it to them before but I was mistaken.
What word or phrase would I like to give this year?
2023 – The Year of…..
Maybe this question will be better answered at the end of the year.
I took this picture because Tigger just loves the dust and dirt of our garden. I don’t know if it’s ever going to be possible to clean up his skin without keeping him inside, which he would hate.
There’s a new gun in town Throwing weight around Scared of the open gate When all else fails….escalate!
So diplomacy has failed The ship of peace has sailed Not gonna sit around and wait When all else fails….escalate!
There’s a plan in place for winning A great reset, a new beginning The hawks will thrive on hate When all else fails….escalate!
Today I’m feeling:
Happy and content
Today I’m grateful for:
The small teacher’s room that I’m able to use for my students to come and read, practice and discuss things. The room has, at times, been full of equipment, junk and other teachers. It is now quite clear of things so I’ve taken advantage of its availability.
The best thing about today was:
As mentioned yesterday I was frustrated with one class and had an idea for today which involved using the teacher’s room.
Instead of standing at the front of the class and instructing I started by asking the students to recall things we’d discussed this week on the topics of hobbies and clothes. I then split them into five groups and asked each group to come into the teacher’s room where we first discussed the activities they enjoyed or found boring and secondly to discuss what they thought about school uniforms which they got more animated about.
They used a lot of Thai and I used a couple of the top students to help translate but a few of them were also able to articulate their thoughts in English too. I
t went well for all five groups and I think everyone enjoyed this approach. I only wish it was possible to carry out classes like this all the time.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Despite my best efforts to keep food and drinks (except water) out of my classroom students still smuggle them in and left a lot of garbage and spilt drinks today. I handled it by cleaning up a little and thinking about how to make it better in future.
Something I learned today?
I watched a documentary about Paulo Coelho and wondered if I would like him in person or not.
I’ve only read one of his books so far and enjoyed it a lot but I was thinking if this person was explaining similar things in direct conversation then would I react the same way? Maybe I find it difficult to separate the words from the personality in conversation.
I find the spoken word can be overbearing whereas the written I can ruminate on without other influences involved.
I know some people in my life have given me their wisdom in conversation and I initially rejected it because of other things about them.
It’s all a reminder to find my own way and that even the worst of people can offer useful words sometimes. Take it all in and filter out what I don’t need.
What do you love most about yourself?
I’ve recently been looking at my diary from 1981 and see comments like ‘I am great’, ‘I will win’ etc and it reminded me of the positive attitude I had towards myself at that time. That was all well and good but I never learned how to deal with failure properly which was part of my downward spiral in the coming teenage years. I was even conscious of it at the time but didn’t know how to manage it.
Anyway, these days I am more confident again, with occasional lapses, and feel pretty good about myself most of the time. I love that I still have the determination to improve myself and not rest on my laurels.
I took this series of pictures because I was trying to capture the beautiful sunrise this morning as it was happening. It never looks as good in a photo but I wish I could’ve sat and watched it for longer but I had to get to work.
Why suffer to win a meaningless victory? The search for glory, the greater goal? Do we strive just because we can And winning fills the heart and soul?
inspired and plagiarised from Existential Comics
Poverty is not necessary. It is a social, economic and political failure, usually caused by a history of injustice.
Chris Tomlinson
This ends a year of finding quotes every day. I wrote them all in a book that I will gift to Hayden. I’m going to fill up the book with some choice lyrics that also inspired me.
Today I’m feeling:
Motivated and energetic
Today I’m grateful for: Well, I’m grateful for Amy again. Despite her being busy preparing food for a party at our house tonight she still made me pasta for dinner and enough to feed me for three more meals in the freezer. All her friends are happy to come here and enjoy Amy’s entertainment.
The best thing about today was:
Having that feeling of motivation again and not being too tired and lethargic at the end of the day. While Amy was busy I was preparing some lessons and discovering new worksheets and things for the kids to read and then also updating old entries for my blog and things like that. I’ve managed to keep going fairly well today. I hope I can keep it up.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
At the party tonight I was actually expecting to be joining them and eating with them and didn’t realise that when Amy made dinner for me I was supposed to eat it quickly. I was hungry anyway so it didn’t really matter and when I think about it Amy planned well because she and her friends will be chat-chat-chatting in Thai.
I’m okay to just sit and enjoy everyone having a good time but I can’t really add much to the conversations and things like that, so it’s good that Amy allowed that I wouldn’t be part of the party although I was around and still talking a little bit with everyone. It’s nice not to have the expectation and to feel a bit like the odd one out.
Something I learned today?
Today I watched an interview with Andy Boreham and the ex-prime minister of New Zealand John Keys and they were talking about China, in particular, John Keys was talking about his experience of China and I pretty much had to agree with everything that he said and so I didn’t really learn anything new but just confirmed something that I already believed.
It’s okay to listen and watch things that confirm things that you already believe but also I’m interested in other arguments or a point of view.
I watched another video of someone whose reports I usually enjoy but this one, whilst it was about something that happened between China and America there was something that he was saying that didn’t feel like it fell in line with what I believe to be true. I wanted to understand his argument for the particular situation but because of other things that were said that seem to be common putdowns about China put me off wanting to watch any more about it.
It’s a shame because even people who seem to have a balanced view can fall into rhetoric or just follow what is accepted as fact when actually, if it’s not accepted by some people, such as myself in this case, then it affects what they are trying to argue. Maybe I would change my mind on his point but because of other statements around it, I was put off to listen further.
It goes to show how difficult it is for people presenting news and reporting to just stick with, I’m going to say facts but is it facts or just accepted truth? It’s difficult to judge for anyone now as a listener, as a watcher. We all get caught in this trap.
Write about your most embarrassing moment.
I’m struggling to think of something that was really embarrassing to me since I became an adult.
So, I can remember a time when it was a Christmas time family party and my grandad played a prank on me. I guess I was about 12 or 13. He was selling it as a seance and that he was contacting people from beyond. He had me rub my finger on the underside of a plate and then touch various parts of my face and apparently, this would help communicate.
After about 10 minutes they showed me a mirror and what had happened was that they tricked me and they had burned a candle under the bottom of the plate and obviously I was running my finger along there and putting soot all over my face and when I was shown the mirror and saw myself, I was so upset and unhappy.
I couldn’t believe that I had been made to look so foolish in front of the family. I hated my granddad for a long time after that.
I took this picture because I am the clown, the entertainer, and the teacher. These were the kids at the restaurant from a couple of days ago. I will drop some simple English books for them one day. No new photos today.
Dang! And back into it!
Two morning classes, push, push, make these kids work, no easing into things. They responded well enough and I feel satisfied. We know what to expect of each other on the battlefield as we push for a win-win outcome.
Some will be lost, maybe lost already. Some will return and be pulled into the unit by improving maturity.
I tried to encourage Poppy this morning by showing her a magic card trick but she wasn’t sure why I was doing that. I think she will go off and think about that a bit more. She needs attention, which she no longer gets as she lost her friends. I will try a couple more times. She’s hard-nosed and unsure of things but presents a tough exterior. I’m reminded of myself, of course.
There’s a plan that’s been put in place Decided years ago, real and known Paths set to further the human race Historical analysis shows how we’ve grown
Allowances were made for deviations When the train almost left the tracks The firm bedrock for our foundations Ensured the plan always had our backs
All the charlatans and fly-by-nights Have long since been forgotten War of words no longer become fights And we stopped ourselves becoming rotten
Instead of an instant profit turned Future generations were the consideration Making sure that all history was learned We came together to celebrate this creation
I see parallels between Asimov’s Foundation stories and the differences in the way the US and China plan their futures. It feels like the US system is constantly hamstrung by its election cycles and lack of consistent vision whereas China has its five-year plans and I think extending even further into the future.
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful to be able to watch interesting YouTube videos all day at work, as well as reading so much. And go for coffee. I am grateful that the Thai teachers don’t hassle me with extra work.
The never-evolving discussion around reading is taking place again. Some of our classes only had 50% attendance rates, some even close to 0% attendance, yet we somehow have to give 60% of the class grade 3 or above (grade 4 being the highest). As ever, what a nonsense. Well, I just continue to do the best for my students where I can.
My abs workout has suddenly gotten more difficult, really pushing my ability to even hold my legs in the air to complete some sets. Keep going, keep going.
Finished reading Foundation last night, and Al Franken’s The Truth With Jokes. Interesting parallel reads and both great books.
Conspiracies abound among the paranoid Secret cabals of lizard men must be destroyed Spooks at every corner have been deployed Data analysis deep tracking employed
Inception matrixes to check your dreams Killer drones are shooting laser beams Manufacturing consent it seems Our new masters are our own machines
10th May 2024 – Submitted to No Theme Thursday for the attached picture prompt
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful that I pretty much managed to finish my grading files in an hour yesterday. A whole semester measured with a number.
Today’s a good day so far (it’s 2pm). Probably the best thing was spending an hour in the city getting a massage. First one for a long while. How grateful I am to be getting paid and being able to get a one-hour massage! I’m thinking to go back again on Thursday! Why not!?
There is nothing particularly bothering me personally these days. My life is sweet. I’m conscious that I’m reading a lot of news again, generally about the US and the US-China relationship. That shit is making me angry and I’m wondering if I should just cut it all out again.
Amy and I finally watched The Tiger King and that documentary seems to highlight for me everything that is wrong about the USA. In my youth, I always argued for freedom but as the saying goes, ‘with great freedom comes great responsibility’. I don’t think freedom to be ignorant and stupid was quite what my idealised youth was thinking of.
Is everyone here just to serve you? You’re no better than anyone else Everyone must do what you say You’ve got such a high opinion of yourself
God forbid anyone who crosses you Or doesn’t always adhere to your wishes The ladders climbed are full of snakes Fallen from ballroom to washing the dishes
Superior attitude has poisoned the mind The extended hand that must be kissed The backstabbers are always plotting And one day you’ll no longer be missed
Are you so noble you cannot see The peasants that you thought to inspire Turn against your arrogant commands That they no longer admire
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful for our super tart passionfruit that I ate for breakfast yesterday. Its sourness lasted throughout the day in my mouth. It was delicious and difficult to eat!
Sometimes, the more you look at something, the more it makes you sick. Like eating too much cake or chocolate. I have to balance my reading about Thailand’s past, along with seeing what is happening here now and not get too disgusted with it all in front of Amy, as it only fuels her own first of disgust and will just make us both unhappier. We cannot close our eyes to the corruption we see and enjoy our lives fully. Ignorance really would be bliss. Sometimes, I wonder how to be more stupid.
Also, following the stupid build to potential was between the US and China and hoping that China can do it’s best not to get sucked in. Unfortunately, lots of westerners are getting sucked into the deliberate false narrative that the western media promotes.
It got me thinking about all the self-help methods, or even religious preaching, that advise on understanding, compromising and learning from each other. As the US fails, yet again, at violent suppression of others, based on lies, I wonder if it’s time for the Chinese to lead the way.
I saw a bizarre headline that indicated China would develop Afghanistan with infrastructure and modernisation, working with the Taliban. In return, the Taliban would move away from extremism and not support any terrorist action within Xinjiang. This headline seems too good to be true and maybe from a spoof website, but it shows that the methods the US has chosen in the past, which have continually failed, were not and are not the only option.
Even primary school kids understand that escalating a fight just brings more pain.
I’m starting to see the benefits of a one-party system where potentially anyone has the chance to participate. Without the regular 4 or 5-year cycle, waste of time and money on elections and one party undermining the other, often out of spite, a direction can be adhered to, and some stability maintained.
No society is perfect, and the US should stop pretending to be, because its faults are evident for the whole world to see.
Things I can control and things I can’t control. I still wish to say something, even if it’s just shouting into the wind.
1994ever 