Tag: Gormenghast

Turning Wine Into Water – 23rd December 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

A filter for your fine wine
Clever ways to pass the time
Background noise, it overtakes
A price to pay for your mistakes
Filter out your reputation
Open to reinterpretation
A vessel holding temporary
A vintage wine exemplary

…people sell their freedom as a necessity for getting rid of the anxiety which is too great to bear…

Rollo May

Today I’m feeling:
Happy and relaxed
Today I’m grateful for:
My student’s relatively good moods. I can’t quite comprehend what Christmas means for these kids but, being what they are, they take full advantage of the generally relaxed atmosphere.
The best thing about today was:
Talking with Eing, Nicha, Nam and Dena outside class. They were in a friendly and curious mood and with our mixed language skills we managed to communicate together for a good ten minutes. This felt like the place where real learning, trying and experiencing, happens. In the classroom is just a setup, a prep.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I’m actually writing this on Saturday morning as I fell asleep listening to music last night. Time ran out of my control.
I also got a message from Bronwyn that Hayden had to confront a potential burglar at home on Thursday night. I called him, he was a bit shaken by the experience but he seemed to handle everything well really. His covid symptoms aren’t so bad this time but he has to stay away from work for two weeks which is leaving him short of cash. Despite everything, and his voice being a little down, he seemed pretty positive. Being far away and being a dad to an adult means relinquishing control and letting your child deal with the good and the bad in the world. Watching personalities develop is an interesting experiment. I will do it with Hayden for the rest of my life. I will do it with my students for a year or two of theirs.
Something I learned today?
I learned that Martin Atkins has a post-punk museum in Chicago. He was talking about it on the Curious Creatures podcast. I communicated briefly with Martin a few years ago when getting hold of the Snapline album that he mixed. In interviews I’ve seen with him online he has a certain bravado, a barrier he constructs but his articulation with the hosts of the podcast was much more sincere and I liked him a lot more.
How are you celebrating the holidays this year?
As can be expected this app (Day One) is a western Christian-centric app, despite being available to people anywhere in the world and it expects you to be having holidays about now. And I’m not. So I’ll be working as these are just normal days here.

I took this picture because I started checking these new Ai image-making apps that are getting lots of press. AI writing and all sorts of apps can be generated easily and with speech too, it practically means webpages of information can be artificially built. What will be ‘real’ or considered real? This image was created by entering Gormenghast Lord Titus. The image is unique and interesting but did I make it? I want to take the image and draw my own version of it. Will it be mine then? Maybe.

Favourite Trick – 19th September 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

I forgot my brain
Left it on the train
Picked up legs
And off it ran
Driving me insane
I lost my head
Getting out of bed
Overthinking, thinking thunk
Overdrinking, dranken drunk
Nonsense that I said
Myself found lost
Paying the cost
Apple core
With nothing more
Than being tossed
I cut off my dick
When I was being sick
Flushed it down the bowl
I’ll never tell a soul
It was my favourite trick

…an ocean of salt tears could not melt the resolution of the statues.

Danforth, The Crucible

Today I’m grateful for:
Ploughing on and finishing reading Gormenghast. Excellent. Just one more in the trilogy to go and I can send them back to Sharon. Slaughterhouse 5 first though.
The best thing about today was:
Champ buying me a coffee at House, where I took him because he wanted to get out of school for a break. He seemed really happy with my teaching, or at least with my bloody-mindedness to try and get these kids disciplined to enjoy studying. It was certainly nice to get positive feedback.

I took this picture because I’d never seen this fruit before. It was growing alongside a mulberry tree at House. Apparently, it’s not edible, which is surprising because it’s an attractive colour.

Pick Up – 8th September 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Stay with me, but only come when I call
Knowing you’re there is enough consolation
My pain is mine, not to share at all
I work things out in my own isolation
A quiet word whispered at the right time
I’ll ask for your help when required
When I’m alone all the time is mine
I’ll call when I feel uninspired

No matter how isolated you are and how lonely you feel, if you do your work truly and conscientiously, unknown friends will come and seek you.

C.G. Jung, Letters Vol II

Today I’m grateful for:
The salad man being at the market today as I really wanted to eat salad!
The best thing about today was:
Getting absorbed into reading more of Gormenghast. I couldn’t stop.

I took this picture because just a couple of minutes before this the sun was shining and I’d not long gotten home from a quick bike ride to get food. The wind had blown open the screen doors and blown rain in and even the garage floor had gotten wet. With a flash of lightning close by that zapped me whilst I played guitar and a second later, a huge peal of thunder and the wind was gone and the rain soon after.

Planting Seeds – 1st September 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

As my mind opened so did the world in front of me
Even as a child I sensed things were not as should be
So it is now I look up to the biggest sky I ever saw
Where love and cooperation must trump violence and war

“the biggest sky I ever saw” is taken from a Robert Plant interview used in the Led Zeppelin biography by Mick Wall, hence the title.

The brain and the tongue are so far apart.

Prunesquallor from Gormenghast by Mervyn Peake

Today I’m grateful for:
Champ asking me if I’d like to teach in the new building where the rooms will have aircon! That could be nice. I’m sure there will be teething troubles in there and maybe Champ has some other motive for me being there but all the same, it is nice to be thought of.
The best thing about today was:
Momo coming and telling me that she wished I was still teaching her. When I asked why she said that my classes were more fun. I think she and Porpieng feel that they are not being challenged enough now. I felt good to hear her say this, making me remember the impact, no matter how small, I’m having on her life.

I took this picture because the clouds rolling up the mountain like this really caught my attention. I was struggling to find anything to take a picture of on this walk as the sky was still quite dull and grey but then seeing the sun hitting the mountaintops and this cloud really stuck out. I stood and savoured it even if only for a second or two.

Outside – 28th August 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 1 Comment

I don’t want to go outside
The rain spits knives at my blinking eyes
Don’t want to be outside
Angry ghosts stare at me in surprise
I don’t want to see outside
Evil awaits with sharpened knives
Don’t take me to the outside
Amongst the dead and zombied lives
I don’t want to go outside
The flashing neon against dull grey skies
Don’t want to be outside
To smell the carcass covered in flies
I don’t want to see outside
The monsters can’t get me in my bed
Don’t take me to the outside
Where the rats of paranoia invade my head

The day a child realises all adults are imperfect, he becomes and adolescent; the day he forgives them, he becomes an adult; and the day he forgives himself, he becomes wise.

Alden Nowlan, Selected Poems

Today I’m grateful for:
Pushing myself to walk to Utopia in the morning and recognising the extra energy that gave me throughout the day. I got a lot done.
The best thing about today was:
Reading more Gormenghast. I’m loving the language and imagery and being introduced to all these weird and quirky characters. I’m enjoying it more than the first book in the series so far. There were lots of other good things today too mostly because I was in a good mood because of my morning walk and the sun being out again.

I took this picture because this was the view of the sunrise on my first early morning walk. It was also nice to view the world around me from different perspectives.

Atrox, Disciples of the Elder, (A poet), Other Side Of The Fence – Cornwall Hotel, Dorchester, Dorset, UK – 15th March 1985