Tag: gratitude

Lazy Princess – 20th October 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Princess Amy, she’s so lazy
She will never become the queen
Made her teacher really crazy
Because she lives inside a dream

Princess Amy still never learns
But all her friends are growing
They are all taking their turns
Off to bright futures going

Will the princess ever see
The wisdom of work instead?
Will the princess ever be
Able to get out of her bed?

a poem for one of my students

The laws that govern circumstances are abolished by new circumstances.

Napoleon

Today I’m feeling:
Happy
Today I’m grateful for:
Amy’s parents bringing me food again. I was out at the time, at Daytripper, doing more lesson preparation and dropped by the market to pick up some dinner. A stall was selling pla duk foo which I hadn’t seen there before so I grabbed that and some bananas. When I got home I saw that Amy’s parents had left some food and when I checked the bag it was pla duk foo and bananas! I’ve got a lot of eating to do!
The best thing about today was:
Reading some random text from a teaching English book and being able to add an idea to make my lessons more interesting for my students next semester. Doesn’t sound too exciting I know but I was inspired enough to update all my lessons immediately.
Another thing was coming across a KLS video from 2016 that was fantastic to see and got my little brain running again about organising a tour for them here. I think it would go really well. I need to start looking into this more.
If you started a sports team, what would the colours and mascot be?
I suppose I might pick blue after my childhood soccer passion for Ipswich Town and Italy. The red and white of Sydney Swans would perhaps remind too much of Arsenal. As for a mascot, I don’t know. I must admit I would not be a good person to make these decisions as I consider them to be irrelevant though I understand their purpose, it’s just not something I’m interested in.

I took this picture because I was surprised to find Kim here on Amy’s pillow. I also find it cute to see cats sleep in this position. In fact it makes me envious. Unfortunately, rockets from the funeral next door sent her off hiding behind the bed again soon after I took this.

Day Trip – 19th October 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

One tooth hag with leather jacket
Brown from bent back stooping
In exposed fields of watery weed
Where crucified shirts scare birds swooping

Every home with a lemonade stand
Auntie and child in hammock swinging
Dancing girls adorn a bamboo stage
Drunken uncles make attempts at singing

Families ring the rubber trees
Teenage boys ride off for fishing
In ditches and streams formed in rainy season
Sat in sun, waiting, hoping, wishing

Up towards the tree-lined tops
Down to the valley fires are burning
The circle of life that never stops
Just as the water wheels are turning

What does the money machine eat? It eats youth, spontaneity, life, beauty, and, above all, it eats creativity. It eats quality and shits quantity.

William Burroughs

Today I’m feeling:
Very relaxed, almost too relaxed.
Today I’m grateful for:
Being able to order food delivery for lunch and eating delicious rice with pineapple and cashew nuts. I feel old because I still marvel at being able to order food through app, that is connected to Amy’s bank to pay and then watch a map in real-time of the driver getting lost along our soi.
The best thing about today was:
I didn’t do a whole lot so it’s a choice between, getting up early again, unblocking the sink or buying and planting a bush and a potted plant.
Have you ever benefitted from alternative medicines?
Nope.

I took this picture because I received a parcel today with these inside! I realized they’d come from Amy’s friend Fon. Such a nice unexpected surprise. Considering splashling out on Vegemite for a taste of (another) home.

Derelict – 18th October 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Smashed windows and roof decayed
A place where memories were once made
Now hidden to the exploring eye
Possibilities came here now gone by

One day the love in my own home
Will be left to explorers unknown
Pondered upon with little idea
Of all the things that happened here

The tiles will crack and ceilings fall
Jungle vines will creep up the wall
The once-pretty garden overrun
Plastic disintegrates in the sun

The roaming ghosts of our happy cats
No longer worry the scurrying rats
Body broken as the irons rust
Will all be blown away as dust

I think perfection is ugly. Somewhere in the things humans make, I want to see scars, failure, disorcer, distortion.

Yohji Yamamoto

Today I’m feeling:
Chill chill
Today I’m grateful for:
A long catch-up sleep with interesting but forgotten dreams. I also woke up with no pain in my neck but that didn’t last for too long.
The best thing about today was:
Its simplicity and feeling contented with a day of non-excitement. A little bit of this and that counters any possibility of boredom. I feel free!
In what ways are you “just like your parents?”
I am just like my mum now. It’s scary how much I look like her. Right now I live by myself (practically) and love to read books, much like she did. I don’t need to be around people often and happy in my own company, just as I saw her. I don’t think I can be much like my dad as I have no idea if he had any influence over me in my first 18 months before he died. I wonder though if there was a residual sadness that brushed on me in that short time…?

I took this picture because it just looked idyllic as I was speeding by and had to turn back to take a quick picture. This one is from yesterday. I didn’t really do anything today.

Our Dark Side – 17th October 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

You are a nice and pleasant person
Loath to admit or examine your dark side
As your fallibilities may worsen
Deep insecurities, desires to hurt people
Fantasies of revenge, suspicious of others
Your hunger for power and attention
Attempts to place you above your brothers
This dark side haunts your dreams
Leading to inexplicable depression
And blame laid on circumstances
As you fail to understand the lesson

inspired by a Robert Greene piece from Daily Laws

If their work is satisfying, people don’t need leisure in the old-fashioned sense. No one ever asks what Newton or Darwin did to relax, or how Bach spent his weekends.

J.G. Ballard

Today I’m feeling:
Happy
Today I’m grateful for:
The new frozen veggie microwave meal option at the 7-11. It wasn’t bad and at 45 baht pretty reasonable too.
The best thing about today was:
2 hours guitar? 3rd day in a row walking to Utopia? Golden hour bike ride again? Finish watching After Life? The sounds, the smells, everything…
What would your life be like without music?
Could it even be called a life? Music is everywhere. Imagine no music! We have it so I guess it’s possible to imagine not having it. What do we not have then, what things unimagined yet? I don’t know anyone who doesn’t have music in their life somehow. Everyone must in some way or another.

I took this picture because I waited for golden hour again to go for a ride but just to counter sunburn rather than for good pictures. However, I was lucky enough to get some good pictures too.

Both Worlds Paradox – 15th October 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Beauty fades as knowledge grows
And wisdom comes too late
To understand what the old one knows
As the acceptance of this fate

When a person can’t find a deep sense of meaning, they distract themselves with pleasure.

Viktor Frankl

Today I’m feeling:
Happy and chilled
Today I’m grateful for:
The lady in the print shop helping me to print out a few things I needed. Some for school but also printouts from my blog which I will send to Hayden.
The best thing about today was:
Finishing reading a couple of books. I love the anticipation of starting a new book, a new journey, new knowledge.
What movies do you need to watch?
This is easy. There are NO movies that I NEED to watch. I have a hard-drive full of movies that I’d like to watch along with many DVDs, Netflix and YouTube. And perhaps, hopefully, one day I will. I may even try it tomorrow, now that it is in my head.

I took this picture because as I was enjoying my walk home this morning I recalled when I did my first exploratory motorbike ride around the village and came down here, where the sign seems to indicate no entry. I sat on my bike undecided whether to go forward or turn back and as I looked around a lady outside the adjacent house called out and waved me through. I soon discovered that everyone used this shortcut and they just didn’t want cars coming through. Today though, I noticed that someone has taken the trouble to re-gravel the track so there are no more puddles and potholes. Wish this had been done before the rainy season.

The Party – 14th October 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Temporary swarms buzz and circle
Conversations bend or disappear
Nests break and reconfigure
With new formations becoming clear
An idler on the roof above
Monitors the party in motion
Follows every dip and rise
As if floating on the ocean
Plans discussed, pleasantries exchanged
Jokes told to absurd laughter
Approaches made, compliments fired
And plans afoot for what comes after

a scene from Titus Alone by Mervyn Peake

To live is to war with trolls in heart and soul. To write is to sit in judgement on oneself.

Henrik Ibsen

Today I’m feeling:
Content and lazy
Today I’m grateful for:
Being able to easily buy snacks and treats for myself at shops nearby and having the money to do it. I’m far away from any major commerce but through the effort of 1000s of people, I can buy yoghurt, blue cheese, chips and toilet paper at stores just a 10-minute drive away.
The best thing about today was:
Listening to Kurws. Great band making interesting music for a decade or so. Today has been a very lazy day after returning from shopping at 10am. I haven’t done much of what I normally do but I’m fine with it. I’m getting used to this quiet life and not having a frenzy in my head of having to do things out of obligation, though I do recognise and appreciate that driving force at times. I know I will get that feeling back in a week or two when school starts again so in the meantime I’m enjoying the freedom to listen to as much music as I can.

I took this picture because… come on, how cute is that! This is from a couple of months ago but I’ve been so lazy to go anywhere and take any interesting pictures today. Even in the garden. I suppose I could have found something beautiful at the shops… Pictures are not usually on my mind when shopping though, usually just want to get in and out as quick as possible.

Alone – 13th October 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

On the other side of the mountain
Down the rivers run
Whether a lord or beggar
You are no one

A society must assume that it is stable, but the artist must know, and he must let us know, that there is nothing stable under heaven.

James Baldwin

Today I’m feeling:
Happy but quiet
Today I’m grateful for:
The stacks of bricks and blocks we have strewn around. As I was cleaning up outside the kitchen area I moved the muddied-up blocks to make a shelf to put our recycling bags on. Perfect.
The best thing about today was:
A uni student saying hello to me as I entered Daytripper and then another smiling at me. I imagine I can still look likeable when I want to.
When is the last time you took a risk? How did it work out?
I suppose it is when I started teaching at my first school. CRPAO primary. I was nervous and thrown right on the deep end but I think that was the best way. That job worked out well in gaining experience at teaching and not so well at gaining experience with nasty vindictive people. It’s all for the best though, even though it was very stressful at the time. Now, because of those experiences, I think the risk has paid off immensely and I’m really enjoying what I’m doing.

I took this picture because Tigger can look so photogenic at times. Here he looks very handsome.

Yard – 12th October 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

In between the cobblestones, dark and damp
Cities raise armies in dirty power games
Unseen except for curious men in the clouds
And relocated along with the rains

The world turns slow when not watched
No one pursues the moon across the sky
A violent vicious circle magnified
Inconsequential as it passes on by

The years teach much which the days never know.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Today I’m feeling:

Happy and tired.

Today I’m grateful for:

The lady at Sensi Weed who explained about all the different types of weed and associated goods her shop had for sale. I bought a tea bag, a chocolate, 4 gummies and a gram of some weed. I ate a gummy tonight and feel a little lightheaded. Maybe try the tea tomorrow.

The best thing about today was:

Getting a backlog of things out of the way whilst drinking a couple of coffees at 22 Grams. I felt very relaxed and had a lot of patience whilst waiting for my students to perform at Central.

Do you eat red meat?

I haven’t eaten red meat for the last 40 years.

I took this picture because this is my student’s (Aum) dance group performing at Central in a competition. They struggled with nine people onstage. It was much easier for the groups of five. Sunwa also performed singing and dancing solo.

Youthful Idealism – 10th October 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Where’s my youthful idealism?
I fucking want it back
Now I’m old and tired
I’d rather just hit the sack
Why am I not shouting?
Thinking to make change
Wanting the best for everyone
Surely is not so strange
When did I give up?
Did I just get distracted?
Now I’ve got what I want
And I’m no longer impacted
Where’s your youthful idealism?
Why aren’t you complaining?
My life is almost over
But yours is still remaining

How to stop time: kiss.
How to travel in time: read.
How to escape time: music.
How to feel time: write.

Matt Haig, Reasons To Stay Alive

Today I’m feeling:
Happy and on holiday
Today I’m grateful for:
The men who cleaned my bike. I know I could have done it myself but I wouldn’t have been so thorough.
The best thing about today was:
Getting some more blog stuff done whilst listening to music. Also finishing another book. I still look at my bookshelf with joyful anticipation for future reading.

Do you owe someone money? Does someone owe you?
I don’t owe money to anyone or any institutions. I am debt free.

I guess some people do owe my money but it’s in the past and doesn’t amount to much in the scheme of things.

I generally live by the rule that if you lend someone twenty dollars and never see them again then it was probably worth it.

Of course, I loaned out much more substantial amounts to bands in the past and mostly managed to chase down outstanding amounts.

If I loan or lend anyone money now, which is rare, I don’t expect to see it again but happy if it does get repaid. This is only because I am now financially secure. Let’s hope it stays that way.

I took this picture because this is the cleanest I have seen my bike since buying it. It was worth the 45 baht expense!

No Rest – 9th October 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 1 Comment

After death, you are put into a room
With a TV and some snacks
You will watch your whole life replayed
Perhaps to reflect on what it lacks
A minute-by-minute repeat
To observe each success and mistake
You may pause at any point
It’s a long time and you’ll need a break
After a lifetime looking back
You will be born to the world again
Taking the wisdom learned
Which the gods tried to explain

The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently.

Friedrich Nietzsche

Today I’m feeling:
Happy and calm
Today I’m grateful for:
The man selling coconut water and pandan smoothies. Damn, they are delicious!
The best thing about today was:
Another long ass bike ride around the area I had discovered a couple of days ago. Google Maps lead me nicely astray again and I’ll have to wash my shoes yet again…

I took this picture because P’ti was squashed up against the window like this at Utopia this morning. So cute.