Tag: heart rate

Mail Order Monkey – 1st January 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Your life won’t be complete
For the girl you want to impress
Get your mail order monkey
Put it in a pretty dress
Or how about a monkey skull
Comes from the same supplier
Stick it on your shelf
For your new friends to admire
Mail order monkies and skulls
It’s the weirdest thing I’ve heard
Is there a better way to impress
Without something so absurd?

Weight: 76.0kg
Resting heart rate: 41

There’s only one age: alive.

Agnes Varda

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to Apa for driving us up to Doi Chang yesterday and paying for lunch.

A long day yesterday. Amy’s dad drove us, with Oh’s girlfriend, her sister and mum, up to Doi Chang, which I hadn’t visited before. It was nice to have the opportunity to just sit and look out of the window and not have to concentrate on the road. Doi Chang has become well known for its coffee and now is turning itself into a camping lifestyle destination.

To be honest, there’s not much to do up there except enjoy the views but every second person seems to be building a cafe/homestay and it occurs to me that everything now is just a photograph – there’s no substance. Perhaps I’m jaded and don’t see much underneath due to cultural differences.

Anyway, I thought it’s not so far away and I’d like to ride my bike up here sometime. I’ll have to prepare for a sore butt doing that but I think it would be nice.

We had a late lunch at Singha Park. Busy but a pleasant time looking over the park from the restaurant. I try to take as much as I can with my eyes rather than taking photos. I could feel a sense of contentment rising from my stomach to my chest when I tried this.

I was flagging it by late afternoon when we got back to Amy’s parents’ house and dozed before getting up to eat a little bit of dinner, whilst everyone else geared up for drinking and karaoke. By 8.30, I lay down again and had wild, interesting, lucid dreams, punctuated by waking periods overhearing out-of-key singing to Thai tunes.

I knew it was getting late when I heard renditions of the Carpenters, Hotel California and Have You Ever Seen The Rain.

Lots of fireworks and cheering woke me again as the clock went past midnight and I got into a deeper sleep until Amy woke me at 1.30 and said it’s time to go home. She had a great time and I enjoyed everything too. I’m not big on drinking, partying and socialising and Amy understands that. We fell asleep content.

I managed to get up at 7 and, after feeding the cat,s wanted to use my aching body as I had spent most of the previous 24 hours sitting or lying down, so I walked to Utopia in the cool morning air, chatting on the phone with Hayden along the way. He may try to come to Thailand in April. Let’s see if that happens.

Lots of things I hope to catch up with today. My new MacBook Air arrived yesterday and I need to get that set up too.

A Madness Of The Impossible – 1st December 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

The very essence of my soul betrayed
No knowledge may heal the wound I made
In this fog, there is nowhere to be or go
I just can’t forgive myself I’m afraid

Misery and self-loathing bedevil my days
A madness of the impossible Derrida says
The radical act of self-forgiveness so
Absolve yourself, you must find the ways

Inspired (and butchered) by a reply to a letter to Nick Cave at The Red Hand Files newsletter
and submitted to Thursday Inspiration #246

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful that our cats seem to have recovered. Cap from a bad stomach and Kim from wounds after a big fight with Tigger. Tigger has been very well recently though his fur is starting to make him look old.

I was planning to do some preparation and reading and writing this afternoon but Fui brought his teenage son and daughter to House and I ended up talking with all of them for most of the time! Fui’s kids study in Singapore, and have done for many years. I’m not sure why and didn’t ask, but it’s interesting to get their perspective on things especially as English has become their first language.

My one class this morning was with 2/11 and it went well. I got them more involved by helping me to learn the Thai words for all the English vocabulary that I wanted them to remember. So, I’m feeling good.

A rest day from the abs workout. I can feel that there is less fat on my chest and my ribs are becoming more visible. I like this healthier me. As with anything, I should’ve started sooner. I’m still thinking about that time of brushing off Rupert when he started lifting weights at school. I was all about smoking and drinking. I was lucky that my metabolism sustained my skinny body into my late 30s and only the beer started sticking on my hips.

OK – back to it. More free time tomorrow afternoon to finish off this preparation.

Weight: 76.6kg
Resting heart rate: 47

Shadows – 1st November 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 7 Comments

Within this oppressive system
The dividing line, it grows
The wealthy control the time
Whilst we’re living in the shadows

Try to climb this shit ladder
But the dividing line always grows
A blind eye turned towards
Those living in the shadows

How did it get to be
That the dividing line, it grows?
And the ninety-nine percent
Remains living in the shadows

There is no vision of caring
As the dividing line, it grows
The underclass just eats itself
Living in the shadows

The one percent destroyed the world
And the dividing line is gone
No one left to remember the names
Of the ones who claimed they’d won

Inspired by a classic late 80s Peter Milligan story ‘Shadows’ originally printed in 2000AD
29th Mar 2024 – Submitted to OLN 359 at dVerse

First day of the new semester and everything is the usual mess but I’m more used to it now and can accept it. Had a good chat with Champ in the afternoon about his beliefs about the future of Thailand. He isn’t happy with the current system but is optimistic about the elections next year. I don’t think it will be much of a change but I also can’t get a feel for the mood of the country.

I moved back into the teacher’s room and sat next to George again. He is still only politely communicating with me and won’t look me in the eye. What I have noticed more about myself is that the things that I read about stoicism and thinking, I’m always framing it into a comparison with me and George. He is good at many things that I would hope to emulate but I’m always classifying it as insincere when it comes from him. I don’t need to be thinking about how what I’m reading relates to him – I need to be concentrating on how it relates to me.

I do feel that I am behaving more as myself these days as opposed to trying to fit in with everyone there, to keep a good vibe. I don’t know how to describe this properly. The vibe is good as I am. I am polite and enquiring and take part in work discussions. I don’t, or no longer, really take part in what I guess could be called bonding exercises. I don’t really feel a need to bond with people on a superficial level. Playing Uno or Kahoot together is ok every now and then and maybe brings a good feeling at that moment but I feel like there’s no depth to it.

Sure, I may not be good at connecting deeply with people myself but I really detest the time wasted on superficial connections. I don’t want to be friends with everyone or care if people I don’t really like don’t like me either, but I will make the effort to make deeper connections with someone I feel great affinity with.

That’s difficult with this group of people due to language issues but I am interested in Champ’s values and thinking as he also seems to be interested in deeper concerns than having time for another round of Uno.

Have I talked myself around? Perhaps not yet. My thinking is something I’m still working on and something I will always need to work on.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for the long sleep and pleasant dreams I had last night whilst it rained so hard.

Weight: 76.6kg
Resting heart rate: 52

Sandcastle – 1st October 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Some revel in comforts
Others itch for change
Nest has been made
Now time to rearrange

Build a dream castle
Atop a mountain high
Next a beach paradise
Under this big sky

Settle down right here
The sun shining bright
Nothing lasts forever
Thus day turns into night

Weight: 77.7kg
Resting heart rate: 48

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to have had my 2nd vaccine yesterday and didn’t have any side effects. Hopefully, it protects me well from Covid.

The beautiful cat is not here today. Probably for the best! Amy was happy to have finished the last couple of days’ baking work though she still has one more tray to do today. I think she is secretly pleased with the results of her work and is half decided on whether to pursue this further. She is equally happy to just do baking for pleasure and when she wants, rather than putting pressure on herself.

I had my second Pfizer shot yesterday with no real side effects that I could tell, except for feeling really good! I maybe a little achey but it’s hard to tell if that is just my normal state these days. Lower back and neck are always like this anyway,

No more classes now and I guess we start grading next week. Pretty easy and I’m able to fill my time, whilst having no work to do, with plenty of reading.

If the weather is ok on the weekend I may go for a ride into the mountains, though as I write this I’m thinking I should wait a bit until the ground dries out.

Dust – 1st September 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 1 Comment

We are dust under the dust of the feet of the king
Now unsatisfied with the problems that you bring
Rising up to challenge centuries-old traditions
That led the country into these downtrodden conditions

What made sense once no longer really applies
The world has gotten smaller for information supplies
The dust, the people are not prepared to let it be
They are motivated to be the change they want to see

7th Nov 2024 – Shared with Ragtag Daily Prompt – dust

Weight: 78.0kg
Resting heart rate: 48

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to get through another month mostly healthy – just a little pain. Let’s see what excitements September brings.

Stuck at school all day but that’s ok as I can keep myself occupied wherever I am. Having pen and paper, a book and internet help and the two coffees I picked up this morning have kept me charged up well.

I’ve updated things on my blog, written my daily poem, played guitar for ten minutes – I brought my shitty guitar to school just for this purpose and bought a better one a couple of weeks ago.

I’ve taught three classes, marked their work, which I can feel is always improving; helped another teacher with their work – warning them not to ask questions that they themselves cannot answer!

Only thing I haven’t done yet is read some of my book, which I normally do at the cafe. I have read a bunch of articles online, though. My eyes are a bit blurry from staring at the screen.

The best thing about today is seeing my students ‘ improvements through the semester. For some reason, these things stood out a lot today. Anyway, it makes me happy. Some kids are sneaky and try and trick me but it’s out of laziness more than anything. I think I catch them most of the time.

The Week That Was – 25th March 1979

4 Million Poems – 1st July 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 1 Comment

4 million poems later
And 40 years in time
Never run out of topics
Or words to find to rhyme
4 million poems later
I haven’t yet said and done
Everything that can be rhymed
So here’s 4 million and one

Weight: 77.6kg
Resting heart rate: 45

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to Takky for telling us about a couple of students who are returning to China and have a dog to leave behind. They showed us the dog – of course, we can’t take it – but we helped them by putting ads on social media and sending pictures to Amy’s dad – who said he will take it! It’s a nice friendly French bulldog.

All The Same – 1st June 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

The social conscience is a power machine
Human instinct drawn to a higher scheme
No matter the culture, society or elite
It’s the eyes of God on every street

Weight: 77.3kg
Resting heart rate: 62

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for my own will and determination. To stay happy, calm and focused as much as I can despite the mental inconsistencies running through my brain. I fought through the pressures of preparation yesterday without panic or depression so today, despite all the testing times to come, I have confidence in my abilities.

Fatman report -1st April 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Weight: 78.0kg
Resting heart rate: 56

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for the fan in our bedroom last night. Our aircon stopped working so all we had was the fan. Luckily it was enough and even I woke up feeling cold. Without it though would have been very uncomfortable. That fan will have more work to do as we don’t know when we can get the aircon fixed.

Today was a good day. I felt calm and enjoyed being at school even with not many other people around. Champ complimented me on my lesson plans today too – it’s nice to get some positive feedback on your work.

I also found out that next semester I will be teaching the same classes as this semester. That’s kind of nice though I may have to find new approaches to the two classes who are not so good. Anyway, it’s a good challenge.

Tomorrow is our last day for a month and I’m looking forward to this time off.

Fatman report -1st March 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Weight: 77.1kg
Resting heart rate: 50

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for the two strong hill tribe girls who came to clean our windows. They are only 20 years old and work for Amy’s mum’s friend as maids. They have no days off and work for 100 baht a day. We gave them an extra 100 baht and a meal. They both seemed happy and uncomplaining. I’m not sure how I feel about it.