Tag: home

All We Have – 21st October 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

A coin to gain entry
A seat for the sunset, sir?
Do not trust the dawn
For it may never occur
Take your pick of the tables
Or perhaps up there in the tree?
The smartest trick the Devil
Sold to you that which is free

inspired by a passage from Titus Alone by Mervyn Peake

We say that at home, we can ‘be ourselves.’ Everywhere else, we are someone else.

Matthew Desmond

Today I’m feeling:
Relaxed
Today I’m grateful for:
Amy finding a new place to move to already, just 2 days after finding out she would have to move. One of her housemates was crying that Amy will leave so soon. That is the effect Amy has on people. I’m so lucky she is part of my life.
The best thing about today was:
Reading comics and finding more to read. I’m trying to catch up on 2000AD and Judge Dredd and after about 5 years (maybe more) I’m still only up to 1995! Can this be considered a long-term goal?
Sometimes, when I’m high I consider how trivial, inconsequential and boring the things I’m interested in are! Then I think that I’m not alone. Almost everyone’s interests these days are insubstantial and niche. It makes it hard to get enthusiastic apart promoting music through tenzenmen sometimes. Sometimes it feels like me and three other people really dig something and I don’t have the energy to try and break through to others who have their own particular niche interests.
If you had a freeway billboard, what would it say?
I would take it down. What a blight!
I would sell it for advertising. What is one more ad in the scheme of things?
I would have it display a new positive quote every day.
I would paint it the same colour as what is behind it.

I took this picture because I went on a little bike ride past Hacienda where there used to be a rubbish-burning collection point. It’s gone now and the land is slowly being dug out to fill in reclaimed rice fields for new buildings. This clump of bamboo sits atop a last piece of the old land and will soon be gone too. I found a track opposite that wasn’t marked on the map but when I switched to satellite view was clearly a proper dirt road at one point though now it was covered with grass again. I ponder about contacting Google to send me a camera so they can update their maps but the only person who benefits from this would be me. All the locals already know these tracks and paths and it’s only stupid me that goes off exploring and getting fucked up by google maps leading me into rivers or walls.

Alone – 13th October 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

On the other side of the mountain
Down the rivers run
Whether a lord or beggar
You are no one

A society must assume that it is stable, but the artist must know, and he must let us know, that there is nothing stable under heaven.

James Baldwin

Today I’m feeling:
Happy but quiet
Today I’m grateful for:
The stacks of bricks and blocks we have strewn around. As I was cleaning up outside the kitchen area I moved the muddied-up blocks to make a shelf to put our recycling bags on. Perfect.
The best thing about today was:
A uni student saying hello to me as I entered Daytripper and then another smiling at me. I imagine I can still look likeable when I want to.
When is the last time you took a risk? How did it work out?
I suppose it is when I started teaching at my first school. CRPAO primary. I was nervous and thrown right on the deep end but I think that was the best way. That job worked out well in gaining experience at teaching and not so well at gaining experience with nasty vindictive people. It’s all for the best though, even though it was very stressful at the time. Now, because of those experiences, I think the risk has paid off immensely and I’m really enjoying what I’m doing.

I took this picture because Tigger can look so photogenic at times. Here he looks very handsome.

The Pudding – 9th September 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 1 Comment

It’s said one reaps what they sow
And you’ve been poisoned by the fruit
Of the promised land you know
As the soil has infected the root
You wrestled for control by force
Claimed that you’d known best
The proof is in the pudding of course
Feeding a state of unrest
The future is not written in stone
But mistakes must be owned and reversed
Otherwise, you’ll end up alone
And seen as forever being cursed

Even if you think you are stuck between two impossible choices, there’s always a third way. You just have to look for it.

Marcus Sedgwick

Today I’m grateful for:
Being able to come home early and enjoy my time here.
The best thing about today was:
Spending two hours playing guitar. It was fun.

I took this picture because I was enjoying reading time in the hammock this morning when I was supposed to have been at school.

The Week That Was – 2nd December 1979

Hibernation – 19th July 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Waking up two hundred years from now
This must really be a decent age
The past will just seem as a dream
Painting old words to the page

Turn back now those two hundred years
This is a decent age here right now
Without comparison we are blind
To our own experiences somehow

What I am is constantly thrust into my face while I’m trying to be better than I am.

Allie Brosh

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to have had a few days away in Bangkok and to be back at home again. I like to travel but I love my home more.

Valentine’s Dream – 15th February 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

On the eve of Valentine’s Day
When she woke from a comfortable sleep
She had dreamed a dream of killing him
An ex that had never gone deep
Then she started to question herself
As this feeling disturbed her so
What was the meaning of this dream?
Was what she wanted to know

Why are my insides twisted into knots? Am I in control here or is my anxiety?

Who is in control here? What principles are guiding me?

Ryan Holiday, Daily Stoic

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for my house where I can have guests here without any real problems. Everything is here for them.

A Celestial Emporium – 13th November 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

For things that tremble as if they were mad
For suckling pigs and mermaids that emperors had
Any grunt and squeal from a secret dictionary
Must define the world in words less ordinary

Inspired after reading about this piece of writing from Borges.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for this island in our dining room where I’m now sitting. I can remember when it was being built – I can remember when it didn’t exist and now we use it all the time for eating, writing and preparing food.

Both Worlds – 19th July 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 1 Comment

A lazy day with thundery skies
The temperature for Netflix and chill
In between episodes, look out the window
To see the clouds descend the hill
The bang and crash as lightning strikes
I can’t believe my good luck
But suddenly the power goes out
And now it’s Netflix and fuck!
Wait for the rains to stop again
And electricians to earn their pay
So we can get back to our series
And watch until the finale
Weirdly, there’s top-speed internet
Yet intermittent electricity
Nowhere has the best of both worlds
Neither this country nor city

Letts Association Football Diary 1979 – 30th December 1978

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to have had a lazy day yesterday – even forgetting to write here. The busy week makes me tired on the weekend and I enjoy being home with the cats, our surrogate dog and crazy Amy.

Our House (again) – 17th July 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

The feature picture (above) is a picture that we have to take every year for my visa application, to show that we are the happy family that we are telling them we are. We also have to supply a picture in our living room and bedroom!

The dog, Tangmo (Watermelon), is our neighbour’s but he is increasingly happy to be at our house these days as we give him love, pats and attention. We do not listen to the aunties who insist that we should hit him when he’s naughty. And they don’t understand why he likes to visit us so much…

This is the view from behind the village market, across the paddies looking towards our house, which you can see on the left, with the green fence. On the hill on the horizon is the stupa. I still don’t know what they indicate or ceremonies they are used for.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for our fresh-cut garden again. I love it when it’s been tended to and happy to pay for someone to do it (5 people!).

Teacher, teacher – 8th June 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

When everyone laughs at you
It’s best to laugh along too
Don’t let things affect you so
Stand upright to any blow
Strength’s applied when nothing done
It’s not a game that must be won
Take it with a pinch of salt
It’s not really anyone’s fault
Emotions tug at simple minds
The simple comes in many kinds
Our reactions were never taught
Perhaps that’s something that we ought
To teach our kids in schools
Give them these important tools
Inner peace and satisfaction
As opposed to angry passion

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to have Kim Chi back home. She’s very happy to be somewhere familiar again. She doesn’t seem too stressed about being stuck in the classroom – not yet anyway. I hope she settles into it.