Tag: luck
The second you, that other you,
Ghost In Place – 30th October 2023
Bursting in without knocking
A mountain of memories returned
Those days of confusion were shocking
And a heart left badly burned
Mentally reset by counting to ten
Big brother came to soften the blow
Remembering what year it is again
And closing that door, just so
Inspired by this story at Spinning Visions
14th Dec 2024 – Shared with Weekly Prompts Weekend Challenge – Ghost
Today I’m feeling:
Positive but a little tired and soft-sighted. Exercise was tough again but easier than yesterday. Still only doing one set for this week. Hope to get back to two next week.
Today I’m grateful for:
Seeing all my happy students again, giving me hugs, telling me they missed me, asking for candy! But most of all to Aunwar who brought me a piece of cake for my birthday! A typical, kind, Muslim gift. If only he was good in class! Haha! He’ll get there.
The best thing about today was:
Still being able to duck out after the morning flag-raising ceremony and sit in the cafe for a couple of hours before hanging out with the kids again at lunchtime, distributing the knick-knack gifts that I brought back from Australia and then heading home around 1pm.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Originally we were told that we had a whole week of activities but today I found out that we start our scheduled classes on Wednesday. Not particularly bothered by this and I know that everything changes all the time now and can better cope with these annoyances.
Something I learned today?
A Chinese airline passenger threw coins into the engine when they were boarding. It’s happened more than once and each time they all said they did it for luck and a safe flight!
What is my favourite memory from the past month?
Being in Sydney again and catching up with friends and family. The blue skies, green trees and purple jacarandas; old familiar smells, sights and sounds.
One particular brief moment stands out and that was walking over the new park at the end of Barangaroo, along the piers of the Rocks, under the bridge and around to the Quay.
Throughout my travels around the city were constant reminders of events past, who lived where, warehouses, houses and venues for shows.
My life, guided by the dull dreary boredom-brown of England, then expanded by the city and country relaxed-excitement of Australia and contemplated here in hot-humid jungle-country Thailand. It’s hard not to be happy.
What am I learning about life right now?
I’m in the middle of a ten-day mini-meditation Stoicism course and whilst it covers many things I have learned already I need to keep reinforcing these things and keep them in mind and transfer them to practice.
I’m also learning that I don’t have enough time for everything and need to prioritise some things. I can easily fill my days. Every day.
Lemon Twist – 23rd May 2023
You can bitch about your bad luck
For that, it’s not your mistake
But don’t tell me about your problems
From the choices that you make
When you know the path to choose
But opt to follow all the glitter
Don’t be surprised your friends are gone
Leaving you twisted and bitter
10th Apr 2024 – Submitted to RDP Wednesday
Today I’m feeling:
Positive though a little tired. I need to get to sleep a little earlier I think. I was feeling a little dizzy and undernourished around lunchtime so bought a sandwich from 7/11 to keep me going. I did a full app ab workout this morning for the first time in about six months. I hope to keep that going.
Today I’m grateful for:
Kru Wow for offering to use her classroom for my last class of the day because the room we were supposed to be in was already in use. My students were later grateful to me when I let them go early as I finished all that I wanted to do with them and didn’t want to get into anything else.
The best thing about today was:
Meeting my second class of new students for this semester. We managed to get through a little set-up in preparation for the coming weeks.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I mentioned above about having a classroom double booked which was a little frustrating as it was the last two hours of the day and it was boiling hot. I was prepared to let the class have free time but then Kru Wow offered her room.
Something I learned today?
Countries that voted against a ban on killer robots – USA, UK, Israel and Australia. Their justification? China.
China banned certain components from US company Micron citing ‘national security’ concerns just as the US has done to Chinese companies. There does seem to be a little more to the story though, maybe even that the concerns are legitimate.
Testing is being carried out on the high-speed rail between Bandung and Jakarta and is due to open in June. The trains look fantastic.
I learned some stretches for my neck and shoulders.
I learned a little about my new class of grade 7 students. They seem to have a little more skill than the other new class but I’m hoping I can just teach them the same lessons.
What opportunities do I currently have in my life?
I think I have almost unlimited opportunities available to me. I still feel like I can do anything so long as my body and brain can withstand it. I suppose the main opportunity is for self-improvement and adapting to my life constantly changing.
Fighting Life – 29th March 2023
It’s a game of chance
And you’ve got a bad hand
Heading for elimination
Whether to fold or stand?
Fighting for the right
To play one more round
To run across the roof
Or to be under the ground
Today I’m feeling:
Tired, headaches, sore eyes and demotivated. The grey colour of the sky reminds me of the dullness of England. There is beauty everywhere but unseen without a light to shine on it.
Today I’m grateful for:
My rolling massage balls that can pummel my hips while I’m watching TV on the floor. My left hip is particularly sore and needs more movement but with the situation outside I’m staying in as much as possible and avoiding doing anything that requires deep gulps of air.
The best thing about today was:
Haven’t done much of anything today so it must be reading more of Death’s End, the third in the Three Body Problem trilogy. It’s interesting because an alien race is coming and Earth comes together as best it can but is unable to ‘beat’ them. It has parallels with our own historical geopolitics.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Right now, I just sat down to watch Netflix and it’s not working. Guess I’ll keep reading then!
Something I learned today?
Lots of geopolitical stuff but I’m getting tired of the whirlwind of information and useless information. I should just check in once a week or once a month instead.
Nothing that has been going on directly impacts me beyond the cost of living rising which is not really something I can control either way.
I’ve saved some money these last two days by not going to work because I’m sick and not eating because of my medicine. If I lose some kilos I hope I can keep them off.
What do I know is true?
I will die one day.
New Wombs – 17th March 2023
We’ll birth our babies from sacs
So our mothers feel no pain
Patting ourselves on our backs
With this technological gain
A matrix of unborn babies
Hanging up in store
We take away one suffering
Perhaps replaced by more
A matrix of millions
Spat from artificial wombs
Why not exploit them further
In this society that consumes
Mothers now free of pain
Have more time for shopping
Acceptance is hard to explain
When there’s no sign of stopping
Today I’m feeling:
A tinge of sadness but in general pretty happy. I was sad when I got to school and walked around but found no students. An empty school reminds me that at other times these are just useless buildings.
I miss my students already though I know I will be over it soon enough, maybe even already!
Today I’m grateful for:
The staff who fixed my iMac and called me at 11 am, just as I was about to head home. It was ready to pick up. Great timing.
I’m happy to have a working machine again and looking forward to getting it back into the shape that works for me.
The best thing about today was:
Getting a quick haircut was pretty satisfying as it’s getting too hot to have a thick head of thinning hair.
Sitting at Daytripper and putting together another lesson was fun too.
Also, whilst there, watching the highlights of the first game of the AFL season on my laptop and watching students come and go.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I struggled to find all the software I needed to reinstall on my refurbished iMac. I’ll probably have to fiddle around a fair bit more before it’s really back in the shape I want. But that’s all right, this kind of annoying challenge suits me.
Something I learned today?
I watched a little Al Jazeera segment on the state of Iraq since the Western allies’ illegal war there. It seems that the little hope Iraqis had at the removal of Saddam Hussein was very short-lived and one has to wonder how much is the fault of the allies and how much the Iraqis themselves.
Money, power and religion make for a terrible mix when it comes to governance.
What is something in my life that I feel “lucky” to have?
Trying to think how to answer this. In one way I feel lucky for everything I have. In another, I feel like it wasn’t luck at all. So I’m trying to think of something that was just luck.
So after five minutes, I’ve decided all the things I have were not due to luck. Except for one thing.
I’m reminded by my student who told me her story of her parent’s rejection and asking ‘if they didn’t want me then why did they have me?’ We didn’t ask to be born, yet here we are.
So the one thing in my life that I feel lucky to have is life itself.
Trump 5390 – 27th February 2023
I met a salesman from an orange land
Who said “Two fat and chubby legs of stone
Stand on the golf course…In the bunker, on the sand
Buried in broken promises, whose botox smooth
Unwrinkled lip, and sneer of old demand
Tell that it’s maker well understood
Lifeless things will always be lifeless things
This hand mocks him, there is no good
And on the pedestal, these words appear
My name is Trump, you’re fired!
Look at my face, losers, and despair
No trace remains of policies of decay
A colossal trainwreck of heartless hot air
Blows across the bunkers and far away.”
As Shelley imagined Ozymandias over 2000 years ago, I imagine the same about Trump over 2000 years from now.
4th May 2024 – Shared with Weekly Prompts Colour Challenge
4th Nov 2024 – Shared with Living Poetry November Visual Prompt
5th Feb 2025 – Shared with dVerse Reimagining the Familiar
Today I’m feeling:
Happy though still a little dizzy and tired.
Today I’m grateful for:
The charging cable that I always borrow from Kru Mai so I can use the speaker in the classroom. I’m charging now so I can use it for class tomorrow.
The best thing about today was:
In my morning class finding 100 baht that someone had dropped but no one claimed. I kept it and waited to see if anyone would come back to claim it though no one did.
In my second class, it was Anchan’s birthday and we sang her happy birthday. Often the kids ask me for money and I’ll give them one baht and tell them to share. Anchan cheekily asked for 100 baht and as I was up for the day I gave her the money I’d found.
Something I learned today?
In 2010 the US Supreme Court made a ruling in Citizens United versus Federal Election Commission that companies are people and money is speech, therefore allowing companies to use money to influence the political process, effectively turning the US into a plutocracy.
What is my favourite photo of the past month?
I think this must be the pictures Aing took of me at the waterfall. The experience itself was fantastic and freezing and then to see myself, a flabby middle-aged man in his underwear dwarfed by the torrents of water falling from the rocks yet laughing with joy, stupid mad joy still motivates me to live my life any way I can and want.
A lazy weekend spent trying to keep my brain in control. It wasn’t too bad but it meant not being in the mood to do anything much.
There’s a bunch of chores I was hoping to complete but ended up doing only the essentials so another huge pile of shirts awaits as well as all Amy’s indoor plants that need some topping up with water.
At the the start of the week I’m somehow filled with energy but by the end I’m knackered. This weekend was a catch-up with myself.
To push myself a little I’ve messaged Bruno to go for a little ride which also forces me to get my bike a quick service and a wash too. By committing to some things I’ll get pushed along.
I did spend the weekend chatting in LINE with some students about their futures and that was a good little exercise in communication, not just for them but for me too.
Back in the classroom, this morning was fun as I’m relaxing into the end of the semester, as the students have been doing for the last six weeks or so already.
Sometimes I question whether pushing the kids harder is the right thing to do. Their lives are so much easier compared to my own experience and what I understand for many other students around the world. In my mind that leads to laziness and lack of innovation or critical thinking.
I look at myself and realise how I, myself, hidden away from people, generally ignorant of the dramas of the world, feel much happier that way. Maybe there’s just no right and wrong, or good or bad way. I can feel that I’ve bonded with this group of M1 (grade 7) students – I guess as we’ve had at-school classes for the whole year instead of the lockdown interruptions of the last two years.
I’ll miss these kids as I won’t teach them so much next year if class arrangements stay the same
Child As Philosopher – 8th November 2022
Kid, you got a question?
A minor fleeting thought?
Shout it to the crowd
Demand yourself an answer
Revise what you’ve been taught
Thinking aloud allowed
Thinking aloud allowed is a motto at our school. That’s not to say it happens though.
To waste your time in battles not of your choosing is more than just a mistake, it is stupidity of the highest order.
Robert Greene
Today I’m feeling:
Average. Tired.
Today I’m grateful for:
Tangmo coming for a quick visit when I came home. I always enjoy his unconditional interest and acceptance when he’s here. He’s not so needy now and sits patiently outside until he gets bored and goes home.
The best thing about today was:
A quick snooze after coming home at lunchtime where I never got into a deep sleep but enjoyed some lucid dreaming.
Daily thought
Are you lucky?
I don’t believe in luck as such though good fortune may come my way from time to time. So, I may be lucky but it’s just random. I also try to look at many situations as being of good fortune even if they seem otherwise. In this sense then, yes I am lucky.
If you could interview one person from the past, who it would be? Why?
Now my mum has gone I often think about questions I’d like to ask her. I guess I would have lots of questions for my dad too, having no memory of him. I would love to talk to Steve again too. Perhaps this question is supposed to be answered along the lines of proposing someone famous historically. I think the people I am interested in historically hold that place because of what they themselves have already written and left behind as their legacy so there’s not much left for me to ask them. Asking why someone made such and such a decision won’t really change the situation as it is today.
But then as I’m thinking more, perhaps Lee Harvey Oswald. His story never got heard leaving somewhat of a mystery that has fascinated people for the last 60 years. Ultimately though it wouldn’t affect anything really.
The Container – 3rd November 2022
Oil is needed for the container
Good PR from the explainer
Once made, it needs to be filled
Opposition to it must be killed
The container is mandated by God
To surround those found to be odd
If the flow is something not agreed
The container must be seen to succeed
This box is not some piece of Tupperware
It’s a restricting restraining nightmare
Beaten by always holding one’s breath
If not capitulated by finding one’s death
Held inside, the hope and dreams of others
But not to be shared with Bigger Brothers
The container will succumb to decay
As new containers will come into play
If there is no solution to the problem then don’t waste time worrying about it. If there is a solution to the problem then don’t waste time worrying about it.
Dalai Lama
Today I’m feeling:
Happy and fulfilled.
Today I’m grateful for:
One of my students, Rista, came up to me and asked me if I dropped any money as she was holding out a 100 baht note. I hadn’t but she insisted I take it. When I told her it wasn’t mine she refused to take it back and consider the idea of keeping it for herself. Maybe it will bring bad luck or just the fact it’s not hers so she shouldn’t keep it and once it’s passed on she no longer has the burden. Anyway, I bought some yummy ginger fried fish and rice for dinner with it.
The best thing about today was:
Being in the classroom with my students again. It made me feel so happy to be a little part of their lives again.
Where are you visiting soon?
Amy and I were considering a quick trip to Vietnam when she’s back but we decided to visit Pimmy and Fern in Phuket instead. It will be nice to be near water again even if it is such a short time. Amy lives in Drummoyne at the moment and rides the ferry to work every morning. That’s a nice way to go to work.
One Cookie Now – 4th July 2022
I gave up and got nothing
Gave my choices away to luck
Couldn’t be bothered to take control
As my life has become stuck
Watching my friends so happy
Travelling to faraway lands
I lost control of my destiny
And left it in other’s hands
If only I actually knew this
The truth that others have seen
Grabbing at the nearest cookie
Never wondering what might have been
When reality disobeys my rules, detectable levels of surprise, disappointment and frustration are produced.
Allie Brosh
Let’s Go Home – 17th September 2021
Take me back to an English summer day
On green grass watching farmers stacking hay
The long evening daylight stretching ahead
Small fishes dashing along the clear riverbed
Walking through long beaten forest tracks
No more than a T-shirt needed on our backs
Running down pebble beaches to the sea
These are all things that have made me me
What now are the pleasures of the day?
Can we go home to relive the games we play?
My memories tricking me with a nostalgic dream
Yet still, I return to all those places I’ve been
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful to have all the things or access to all the things that I would like. The ability to do things as and when I please. I am so lucky, perhaps too lucky, it feels sometimes.
Really odd feeling when driving to work this morning. I was having some dark thoughts but instead of feeling them, I was just observing them. I have kinda felt that before but this time it was really apparent. Maybe it was the pending visit to immigration!
A quick coffee hit the spot and immigration was a breeze thankfully. I have to drive home after school and then we come back into the city to pay respect to Amy’s auntie. I’m not sure what that means but having a phone will be useful.
1994ever 