Prudence – behaviour that is careful and avoids risks Courage – the ability to control your fear in a dangerous or difficult situation Justice – fairness in the way people are dealt with Temperance – control of your own behaviour
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful to have enough money in my hand and enough time in my schedule to be able to buy myself a coffee.
From commonplace book
Dreaming is the ability to see something that doesn’t exist yet.
Mel Robbins (?)
To-do list
Call Hayden and congratulate him on doing some fundraising. ✅
It’s Monday. Classes will be tough. You are mentally prepared! ✅
You will deal with any emotional challenges calmly. Do not speak until later. ½
Run after work.
Prepare files for Jochen. ✅
It’s Monday and the classes were tough! But I was prepared for the feelings of frustration. I dealt with it as best as I could and felt pretty good about all the classes by the end of the day.
I managed to talk with Hayden after a missed call earlier in the day and we chatted for a good half an hour. He seems quite enthused with ideas at the moment and seems to be on a better path to planning his future. I did congratulate him on his fundraising activities. He’s not just thinking about himself during these times of crisis in Australia and has found a good way to apply himself in the circumstances.
No real emotional challenges came my way today but I did catch myself complaining a couple of times. It feels like a very fine line between stating some facts about events and complaining about them. At least I’m catching myself – now I just need to catch myself before saying anything.
I have a bit of a chest cough today and time ran out for us to go running too. I had the will but was still a little exhausted from driving so much yesterday.
So I took the time to prepare mp3s for Jochen, uploaded and emailed. I think the final results could be quite fun. It will be fun to put together anyway.
My self-control was fully tested in my classes today and, although I did well, I can still do better.
Tomorrow will be a test as we have a meeting about something that we haven’t really been told about and are apparently supposed to be prepared for. It is quite a normal situation these days so that is something that I am OK with.
I’m expecting that this thing is supposed to be on a weekend though and already prepared for a discussion about attendance as I have already warned them that I will not work on weekends under any circumstances.
Record of the week: Confessions of Sin – Loose (live)
5th March 1984 Physics – ok. Maths – shit. Social Studies – ok. Someone put my bag in a bin so I left it there. H.E. – ok. Got letter from Black Flag’s drummer Bill Stevenson. They’ve got a new LP – My War, released March 1st so should be here soon. They’re coming over early June – right when my fucking exams are. Fuckin’ typical. Practised at Simon’s – fuckin’ ace laugh. Especially Balderson’s Boots. Hill Street Blues – fucking funny.
6th March 1984 Found my bag. R.E. – ok. P.S.C.E. – shit. Maths – shit. Wellman wanted to see me – Mrs Bell said ‘well done’ – fuckin’ bitch. English – good. P.E. – had a fuckin’ laugh pissing around in basketball. Getting good friends with Julie again. Maybe taking her to Brownsea on Saturday before gig. (?) not open yet. Went to Muz’s – making fireworks with Jasp. Had a laugh with some on wall (?)
7th March 1984 H.E. – did fuck all. Got hamster cage for Damien – he ate 7 other mice on Monday. Should get him tomorrow. Physics – ok. Didn’t do a lot at lunchtime. R.E. – has film on addiction. English – ok. B.Studies – shit. Maths – fuckin’ shit, got more revision books today. Went to Muz’s, Burt came round. We went up to the common. Blew some aerosols up. Burt shit himself. Went back to Shirl’s who gave us some (?) and a burger. Went to Muz’s, played a bit on his computer. Came back.
8th March 1984 Met Damien. Art – bit of a laugh. P.E. – badminton, fuckin’ knackered. Pissed off for some reason. Talked to Julie. Social Studies – not too bad. Went for a fag with Mandy. Business Studies – won part of a lottery to use an electric typewriter. English – reading. Took Damien home on bus. Chris gave me a lift from bus. Put Damien in cage. He’s not very sociable. When I picked him up he pissed all over me. Not a lot happening tonight. Doing some art and even revision. Rang Paul and Andy who seem to hate each other now.
9th March 1984 Julie isn’t coming tomorrow – but next Saturday. Bit pissed off. English – ok. Got Aischrolateria tape. People liked it. H.E. – boring. Maths – shit. Art – Mini brought in his moped to draw. Business Studies – pissed around on electric typewriter. Physics – ok. Saw some Saw some common (?) punk on the tube. Went to Muz’s. Chris came down. Me, Muz and Burt went up to Houldey’s and had a crack-up. Listening to Aischrolateria now – for a laugh.
10th March 1984 Played football against Bournemouth who were acting like a bunch of pricks – we still lost 5-3. Met Simon in Wimborne. Went to Ratty’s. Went to Poole. Watched Simon have his hair cut. Went to Record Fair. Bought Skids/SGC/Fall singles. Ratty took them back for me. Got bus to Bournemouth. Went up to gig. Had a chat with everyone. COS weren’t playing which pissed me off a bit. Atrox played instead. Then Breakout. Then COS turned up too – we had a fuckin’ great time. Loose for 10 minutes – ace. Idiom Tribe went on – real heroes. Aheads went on to catch everyone. I went back then so missed Self Abuse. I should see them on Monday though.
11th March 1984 Finally stirred at 10.40. Feeling a bit pissed off but looking forward to tomorrow. Went to Muz’s, saw Conway on the way. Muz wasn’t in so went to the BMX track in the woods. Started hailing it so went to Shirl’s – who wasn’t in. Left some tapes for him to tape. Went home. Remembered I had to collect bag from Houldey’s so did so. Saw Dandy – lovely. Came back. Watched It’ll Be Alright On The Night. Had a bath. Had a chat with Mother. The fuckin’ money situation is in a terrible state. Damien bit me today.
29th Sep 2022 – And so we are here, at the mysterious back pages of the diary.
Record of the week: The Greedies – Merry Jingle
29th Sep 2022 – Phil Lynott from Thin Lizzy and Steve Jones and Paul Cook from the Sex Pistols were the Greedies and this song is a fun, romping Christmas song but as with most Christmas songs, won’t hold up at any other time of year. I wonder what it is that makes people think to write a Christmas song? If it’s your last resort maybe it’s time to give up?
29th Sept 2022 – Paul Mariner, Mick Mills, Mick(?) Lambert, Bobby Robson, Trevor Whymark, Roger Osbourne, John Wark, George Burley, Paul Cooper, Kevin Beattie…the other faces are familiar but names stuck somewhere deep in the noggin. I’m going to go search the rest of the names as a reminder.
Frm Fidy tety sx nw cod i sudrtkn
29th Sept 2022 – Any codebreakers got this one? I reckon ‘From Friday Twenty Six…….” – any significance to the missing letters? Children and their warped minds.
Andrew said “I don’t think the FONZ is very interesting.”
29th Sept 2022 – Me trying to work out how to spell Leif Garrett, and yes, I had to look it up again just now.
Me —— Them Golf -8 —— -2 -2 —— -2 -3 —— -6 -4 —— -10
29th Sep 2022 – In my childlike imagination my bedroom was a golf course. Using one of our eating knives as a club and a marble as a ball, I devised a course around the bed, chair, floor, drawers etc.
I remember the knife well, it was one that was least favoured to be used at the table, it was the odd one out in the cutlery drawer. It had a cream handle, some kind of imitation ivory, bakelite maybe? Where the blade joined the handle had a small piece missing that added to its devious charm. The tip of the knife was an industrial semi-circle shape, with no pointed end as with our other knives. It was ugly. So it became my mini golf club and I loved it for that.
Of course, I just played against myself, labelling the scores Me and Them and generally always favouring Me, naturally.
When you chatted up the girl with the great big boobs I don’t make a fuss, I just kept me cool
29th Sept 2022 – The genesis of getting into writing lyrics and trying to make them outrageous as per my idols. I didn’t yet have the vocabulary and ability but genius (haha!) must start somewhere!
Bed (curtains) 2p Bricks 102p Make own tea 2p Make both teas 5p Make tea to drink 1p Collect coal 1p Collect wood 1p Extra jobs… 1p Depending how hard… 2p It is 3p and so on
29th Sep 2022 – Keeping track of potential earnings. No matter, I would always spend more than I earned, well into my late 20s. Some lessons take a long time.
Racing Kempton 1.30pm 10p stake 1. Be Better 8-1 80p Kempton 2.00pm Catechism 7-1
29th Sep 2022 – A minor interest in Maths, betting and odds developing. I soon realised what a con gambling is, though when I say soon, it probably took another ten years as I did usually put some money through the fruit machines of pubs I attended for a while.
29th Sep 2022 – Artistic skills don’t look particularly promising but that never stopped me from trying.
I want Sex Pistols book, LPs and Clash ‘Give ‘Em Enough Rope’, dartboard
29th Sep 2022 – I ended up with all these except the Clash album which I curiously never owned on vinyl and even now when I listen to it it still sounds fresh and new as many of those songs are not so familiar to me. Weirdly, I think I only ever owned the first album and Sandanista on vinyl and I’m not sure why I missed out on London Calling, which is also a little less familiar to these ears.
Friggin’ in the Riggin’ Ch. Friggin’ in the riggin’ (repeat two more times) Cos there’s fuck all else to do Stick glass up your arse (repeat thrice) Cos there’s fuck all else to do
The captain’s wife is Mable And when she’s fully able She’ll give the crew the daily screw Upon the mess room table The captain’s name is Dodo And he’s a lazy bugger He isn’t fit to shovel shit From one place to another
29th Sep 2022 – As Graeme Gray introduced me to the Sex Pistols through this song I would ask him to repeat these lyrics for me until I could remember them and write them down. Not accurate as expected but filthy enough to warp the precious minds of eleven and twelve-year-old potential brat-punks.
75m – 11.2
29th Sep 2022 – I was obviously pleased with myself for being a fast runner.
Chorus to Pretty Vacant We’re so pretty, oh so pretty -ow – Vacant (repeat) And now, we don’t careeeee!
Second verse and chorus to Silly Thing People here, people there People around you everywhere What you gonna say What you gonna do Now you’ve missed out once again But I thought you knew Ch. Oh, you silly thing You’ve really gone and done it now (repeat)
More songs Bodies There’s a girl from Birmingham She’s had an aboushtion She looks a screaming mess Screaming mess Fuck this, fuck that Fuck that fucking little brat She don’t want a baby like that I don’t want a baby like that She looks a screaming mess Screaming mess
29th Sep 2022 – More outrageous Sex Pistols lyrics. It’s really hard to comprehend what an impact this band had at the time. For folks like me, it has been a lifelong inspiration and influence that I am proud to be a part of. It all looks old-fashioned and pointless now so I’m forgiving of anything that kids are into these days and forgiving of those who were consumed within their own subcultures that were at pinnacles in the past. We don’t have to understand what they like but we can understand the feelings that it gives them.
RAD DID IT GRANDAD DID IT
29th Sep 2022 – I had an irrational dislike for my grandparents. Being a snotty kid around Victorian/Edwardian grandparents was never going to be easy. I did like them when I was smaller but perhaps they were more forgiving then too. I would soon be driving them crazy with super loud music and friends visiting for drinking parties. I never really reconciled with my granny (as I called her and my mum wished to be called by Hayden) before she passed but I was more sympathetic to my grandad as I got to my late teenage years. I was surprised to find out at one point that they were actually quite liberal and were members of CND. They weren’t quite so impressed when I showed them the lyrics to Crass’s What The Fuck but they did seem to get the sentiment.
This fucking’ little bastard Was a fuckin’ little burk He didn’t know what to do When he went to work
1994ever 