There will always be someone bigger than you – 7th July 1994

Now is later and last night went okay in the fact then I managed to relax a bit. Unfortunately Broni had lots of work to do which kept her going till late.

John-boy’s bought himself a motorbike and hadn’t told Sarah he had it, so last night she came round and John crept outside while she was in the kitchen to go and start the bike (and show off his prize new possession (or penis extension as I called it!)). Unfortunately it wouldn’t start and took about 40 goes to kick it over. With each kick his ego shrinking! John bounces right back and is embarrassed about nothing really.

Tony Newton, the landlords agent, came round tonight to talk to Julie. Apparently he got the tears and everything. He also got her video player as a deposit against money she owes. Ha! She’s not a very happy girl and though we do feel sorry for her we would like her to be somebody else’s problem, and she’s the only one who can do anything for her.

Had a chat with Michelle tonight too and she’s pretty sound. Very straightforward and, I like this word for someone, nice! Also had time to sneak in some ballgames up at the park, with a mad dog running around, slippery tongue a-dangling, on speed or something.

Broni and I eventually, together, slept like babies wrapped in each other and woke this morning light beaming in the windows of our hearts. And I wish I could sit and write more and talk in depth about emotions and feelings but time is not here on my side just now (I do still work eight hours a day!).

One day I want to write about every single person I know – a brief summary of what they meant to me. One day, along with all the other things.

*Roadworks – 11th February 1985

Every road you travel
There’s a traffic jam
They put roadworks
Everywhere they can
When you’re in a hurry
The roadworks are always there
The lights are always red
You end up in despair


The Week That Was

Record of the week: Mud – Dynamite (?), Smiths – Nowhere Fast, Mass of Black (live), Atrox – Short Songs (live)

11th February 1985
Had a good laugh at work. Gave the showroom all their stuff off bulk as quickly as possible. They were quite pissed off. Mike is fucking me off cos he thinks I can’t so anything on my own. Started cassette to give to Wayne when he gives me the other one back.
6

12th February 1985
Mike’s getting even worse. I’m actually glad I’ll be at college tomorrow. Mum wouldn’t take me in today cos I ran out of petrol – she went and got some instead. Finished off cassette. The Howling is on telly tonight. Last night there was a question prog on TV from Wimborne but I only recognised two people.
6

13th February 1985
Got school bus. Got late bus to Poole. Steve Collins was on there. Got to college. Plumbing was crap. Ian went home. I beat him at pool. English was crap. Carpentry was crap. Wayne wasn’t on bus so I couldn’t give hime the tape. Got school bus home. Saw Dandy, who’s more beautiful than ever. Went down YC – was pretty boring. Jasper thought it was hard to punch a hole in the door.
6

14th February 1985
Work was slow. Bulk didn’t turn up til the afternoon. Big Brian was doing it – he was being all right this week. Ian was getting pissed off. Mike was pissing me off. Dandy’s gone to Italy – skiing. Don’t stop thinking about her. I WISH….
5

15th February 1985
Was in warehouse in morning and upstairs doing courses in afternoon. Came back – went to track, chain came off – pushed it to Muz’s. Took half an hour fixing it. Went on then came off again and was totally fucked – it even snapped. Two blokes helped me get it home. Mum took me to YC. Was pretty boring except that me, Crabb, Muz and Jas could take over soon. Crabb’s old dear brought me home.
5

16th February 1985
Got up at 11. Mum took me into town at 1.30. Bought 10 Manitou 7″s. Me and Fog got talking to some Christian propagandists. Met Piwi. Went round town with Ian and Fog. Went up to Shep’s place. Caught bus to Bournemouth. Got in free. Atrox were ok. General Belgrano went ok. Mass of Black were pretty good. Mad Are Sane were good too. Got bus back. Mum brought me home.
7

17th February 1985
Got up at 12. Went down Gaunts. Went up track which has iced over. Came home on Crabby’s bike. Went back out. Pissed around. Had ice fight up at the track. Went down behind Muz’s. Got wet. Came back. Bloke out of Josh and John rung me up. Tired to organise something for them – maybe at Gillingham with The Void.
7

*Mirages – 14th January 1985

Dream? Or was it?
It climbed into the closet
Shooting unearthly discharges
The nightmare enlarges
Open up the door
It’s there for sure
But something is wrong
The creature has gone
A mirage or a dream
Things aren’t what they seem
The whiskey, somehow
Is empty now


The Week That Was

Record of the week: Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds – Who’ll Build a Box for Black Paul?, Wasted Youth – Paris, France, Inca Babies – The Judge

14th January 1985
M: Got shit from Dave Gilby for not going to college. Feeling really tired. Did the usual things.
A: Piwi won’t be at work tomorrow so fuck knows what’s going to happen with just me and Martin there.
E: Went to Muz’s who’s being a shit again. Went to H’s. Dandy is one of my erogenous zones.
6

15th January 1985
M: Gilby reckons he’ll dock a day’s pay for not going to college. Having trouble with fucking hundreds of shortages.
A: Not much to do this afternoon. Wrote a good poem called ‘The Day The Apples Turned to Poison.’ Haven’t quite stopped smoking.
E: Had a bath. Missed the Old Grey Whistle Test. Pretty tired, 9.00.
5

16th January 1985
M: Got school bus. Had a laugh on there. Got bus to Poole. Got to plumbing an hour late. Pretty boring.
A: Had English (?!). Finished at 12.35. Had carpentry at 1.30. Managed to get out in time for the bus. Wayne wasn’t on. Caught bus from school. Dandy reckoned I could go swimming one day.
E: Pissed around singing. Went down Youth Club. Lost darts. Fuckin’ lost pool – played shit. Came back
6

17th January 1985
M: Fucked off with everything this morning. Dunno why. Seems like everyone’s getting on at me.
A: Things getting better this afternoon. Wrote some more poems at lunchtime. Fuckin’ cold on way home.
E: Gonna have bath. Had one. Night Court was on.
5

18th January 1985
M: Woke up 6.30. Snowing like fuck. Rung up work – said I wasn’t going. Went down Gaunts – came back when everyone got in a mood.
A: Went to Wimborne with mum. Pretty dangerous on the road. Got loads of sweets in town and some underarm spray.
E: Went out. Doddy and Scott came down my place. Did some pretty funny taping. Night Court was great.
5

19th January 1985
M:Got up 10. Went down Gaunts. Went down Sandpits with everyone. Fuckin’ good laugh going along the snow.
A: Came back at 1.30. Chain came off and got stuck. Pushed it back. Didn’t get in til 3. Had lots of food. Nearly fell asleep. Really tired.
E: Went to see The Void. Not very good. Ian got sick and cut his hand. Need a new chain for bike.
7

20th January 1985
M: Missed the morning. Got up at 12.
A: Had dinner. Went out. Went down Sandpit Hill. Fuckin’s till good down there. Met Dandy on the way. Managed to get a kiss from her.
E: Could hardly fuckin’ sleep. Couldn’t sleep thinking of Dandy. What can we do?
9

The Week That Was – 1st July 1979

Record of the week: C’mon Everybody – Sex Pistols
Highest entry: Chic – Good Times – 22 (What crap!)

7th May 2022 – Well, I’m going to take my word for it and not even going to bother checking out the Chic song again. Could C’mon Everybody really be by the Sex Pistols? Were the Pistols the Pistols without John Lydon? Obviously, moneymakers thought they could use the name but when it comes to the actual ‘real’ band, they only really had about 18 songs in their catalogue. For a band that had such a great impact on musical culture (culture in general, really) it seems an incredibly small recorded legacy. Are there other bands with such a minuscule recorded output that was such a huge influence?

The video has Sid riding his motorbike without a helmet, which was SO punk rock to 11-year-old me. I couldn’t understand how he was allowed to do that, to get away with it! I’m going to watch it again in a minute but the footage I remember is of him riding through English country lanes and that takes me back to the time of doing the same, pushbikes and then motorbikes (with helmet, of course!), about 5 or 6 years later.

I went on a bike ride this morning, around a lot of country lanes here in Chiang Rai and despite the different types of foliage, it’s quite a similar experience. As I was riding I was thinking about going back to the UK and hitting up Rupert and Jeremy, hiring some 50cc mopeds and hooning around our old haunts.

1st July 1979
Yesterday I was in bed all the time because of me leg (see Friday 24th June)
2p

2nd July 1979
POP DAY
Making out my pop records that I’m playing
2p

3rd July 1979
Used a spud to make C L A S H, you know, cut-outs.
2p
2p^ not in debt

7th July 2022 – My love of the Clash was getting creative. I also made some tiny bread buns of those letters and at school made them out of wood whenever there was free bits leftover from making….whatever we were supposed to be making. I was never handy with tools and soon gave up on woodwork and metalwork classes.

4th July 1979
I’m actually saving money
If you look back to Feb 9, the middle statement has become false
2p
4p^

7th May 2022 – This situation wouldn’t last!

5th July 1979
1. Tubeway Army – Are Friends Electric?
2. Squeeze – Up The Junction
3. Janet Kay – Silly Games (what crap!)
4. Anita Ward – Ring My Bell
5. Gerry Rafferty – Night Owl
9. Sex Pistols – C’mon Everybody
2p
6p^

6th July 1979
Sports Day This year Last year
Long Jump 1 1
75m 1 1
150m 1 1
Cricket Ball 1 1
Relay 1 2
2p 8p^

7th May 2022 – I could’ve been a contender, I suppose. There wasn’t much support for a dumb kid from the backwaters of England and there wasn’t enough internal motivation. I didn’t believe in myself, no one else believed in me and so it goes.

7th July 1979
Borg vs Tanner
6-7 6-1 3-6 6-3 6-4
Ipswich’s last 3 seasons places
6.3.6
2p 10p^

7th May 2022 – I liked Bjorn Borg for some reason. He seemed humble.