Tag: mountains

Maybe One Day – 29th May 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 4 Comments

Maybe one day
I’ll laugh on my birthday
Devour the cake you made
As you got drunk
Waiting for the sponge to rise

Maybe one day
We’ll be lost in love again
Taking photos in the park
Fresh-faced
And newly dyed hair

Maybe one day
I’ll bring flowers to your work
And your colleagues
Will look at you with longing
To be just as loved

Maybe one day
To scratch the travel itch
We’ll be taken away
In different directions

Maybe one day
All the plans I made
Will be forgotten
Just lists on fading paper
A reminder

Maybe one day
We’ll look at each other
And celebrate together
This journey made
Surrounded by our comforts

Maybe one day
The cats long gone
I’ll push you along
Complaining about my knee
And we’ll chat about the future

Submitted to the Weekly Prompts Challenge and inspired by When You’re Gone by Colleen Looseleaf

Today I’m feeling:

A little tired but was able to push through to do some exercise again – another AI-generated one that I ended up running through twice as it is quite short.  My abs were burning but feel ok now.

It’s super humid this morning which is energy-sapping and my first class were difficult to keep engaged and under control but I didn’t let it bother me too much.

Nomsen was messaging her mum online and then burst into tears for some reason.

After she calmed down I told her that she shouldn’t be talking with anyone outside the class during the lesson and that if she does some study it will take her mind off things.

She complained of a headache and I know she finds English too difficult but I just tried to push her to not give up.

Phu was also sleepy in the class and he also struggles with English.  The kids told me that he was up late working last night but that’s not my problem.  I guide and encourage him as best as I can but expect very little from him.

Today I’m grateful for:

My 4-hour break between classes during the day.  It gave me lots of time to catch up on some things that I wanted to read and some writing too.  I won’t have much free time for the next two days so it’s just as well.

The best thing about today was:

Hmm…nothing stands out in particular but it was a pleasurable and consistent day that I enjoyed very much.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I haven’t managed to get to my room to play guitar for a couple of nights now and I really want to.  

I’m doing a bit more lesson planning in the evenings because I’m worried that I don’t have enough things prepared for all these new classes – and I’ve hamstrung myself a little by asking the students what they want to learn about rather than just giving them canned lessons.

Something I learned today?

I talked with S* again today about what she told me on Monday about sometimes showering with her stepdad when she’s tired.  And she confirmed it and the way she described it does seem to be completely innocent and is not some kind of regular thing. Like a naturist family or something like that.

I warned her to be careful who she tells about this and she said she understood that and only mentions it to me because she trusts me.

Because of her exposure to Western culture, she considers herself only 10% Thai.  Maybe as a Westerner, she was testing to see how normal this situation was.  I told her it was pretty unusual.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

As Amy flew to Bangkok to visit Nong Mai and Yaya today and will be away until Sunday I have to find my own food.  No problem, I thought, as the market would be on at the University.

As I knew that Baipad’s mum was still away, I asked if she and her sister wanted to come with me to get some food there and so I picked them up and we drove up to the Uni but because most of the students had gone home for the end of the semester the market was cancelled.

We drove around and eventually found a cheap Korean shop to eat at.

When was the last time I felt a sense of freedom?

The one time that I felt it really noticeably was on my trips to China.

On my first visits, I was surprised to see how free the environment was and I likened it to being at a large free music festival with folks just getting on with what they needed to do.  It was a far cry from my corporate work environment and the nanny state society of Australia.

Of course, for me, I was a tourist and enjoyed the freedom of being on holiday but I sensed it amongst the people in general there.  For them, it was probably just business as usual and normal.

I guess we tend to see more freedom outside of our own environments as we count every negative against us with more weight and take for granted a lot of other things.  It’s a reason to consider that one culture cannot be better than another.  Just different.

I feel this freedom living here in Thailand too but do understand that it is only in comparison with my experiences elsewhere before.

I’m really anti-stupidity laws such as jaywalking, which was enforced in Sydney CBD with a brutal crackdown and over-the-top fines.  On my first trip to China, I remember watching as pedestrians grouped together and slowly forced the cars on the road to stop and let them cross.

I imagine it is much different there now, with probably fifty times the number of cars on the road since but it showed me that people don’t need a law to counter stupidity.  If you are hit by a car whilst trying to cross the road you only have yourself to blame.

Same with holes in the sidewalk.  If you are not looking where you are going it’s your fault if you fall in.  Don’t blame the folks that made the hole.

Yes, things could be better and safer but not everything needs a law and its enforcement.  I mention enforcement as in Thailand there are many laws but they are laxly enforced.  Sometimes, this makes sense.

Which place from my childhood do I most fondly remember?

Without doubt that would be Forest Cottage – my home from aged 9 until about 20.

Most particularly my bedroom, where a lot of partying went on along with all the other ups and downs that teenagers have to struggle through.  It was my space to invite others in or shut them out.

I took this picture last week because… well, it was a pretty evening as I rode home from No Name and the reflection in the lake attracted me enough to stop.

The Trail – 22nd March 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 13 Comments

A resplendent hall of brown and greys
Escher lines, a maze, amaze
Djinns in from the desert dunes
Rest before the trail resumes

Submitted to WDYS #230 and Moonwashed Musings

Today I’m feeling:

Phlegmy and short of breath.  I slept fairly well but yesterday another piece of porcelain fell off one of my teeth and has made it sensitive.  One tooth fixed, another one broke!

Today I’m grateful for:

A storm!  Hooray!  I noted last year that we had a storm around this time in March which cleared the air for a while, but then got much worse as more fires were lit once it dried out again, which doesn’t take long.  The forecast is for ten or more days of 35-degree plus sunny weather after today!  Oh well, enjoy the air while it is breathable.

The best thing about today was:

Getting some positive feedback on some of my poetry and being inspired to write more, as well as trying to read and appreciate more of what others write.

Something I learned today?

My old student, and Baipad’s best friend, Jan will change schools to Sammakhi next semester.  I hope Baipad doesn’t miss her too much though she knew that they wouldn’t be in the same class next year anyway, so she was hopefully a little prepared to accept this news.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

Again, I randomly messaged a few of my students to chat and encourage them in their holidays.  Tonaor was having a bad time with a boy so I comforted and encouraged her.  And of course, I congratulated Jan on getting into Sammakhi.

I also messaged Nice, my old primary student, who I will teach again next semester.  I asked for her input to help me plan what to teach them and she was very helpful, which I really appreciated.

When I got home at lunchtime Amy wanted to take Cap to the vet, which was ok with me.  In the end, I’m glad we did as one of his blood levels was slightly high and they recommended for him to stay in a couple of days on a drip to help stabilise that because it can become more critical.

Amy took this picture because the surprise morning storm blew all the smoke away to reveal the blue sky again. Though only for an hour or two!

Crow’s Feet – 19th August 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 11 Comments

A survey of the skin
Tells our stories
A book held within
Full of old glories

The cut, once blood
When tears did run
Baked on, caked on mud
Drying in the sun

Each crevice and crack
Formed from laughs and cries
Can never be turned back
No matter how many tries

Botox babies and teens
Scared to take a fall
Fear what it all means
When it means not much at all

10th May 2024 – Shared to dVerse OLN

Today I’m feeling:

Slept early last night and got up early ready to go for a ride with Bruno, up to Doi Chang.

I was too early for Utopia but felt pumped to be going on a long ass ride. Once getting into the mountains the cool clean air tickled my nose with the now-familiar smells of fresh growth foliage and flowers. All the food stalls around added to the perfume and even the small fires around reminded me of camping trips from days gone by. 

It was a joy to be out there today.

Today I’m grateful for:

Bruno being the way he is and leading us to accidentally drink civet-shit coffee overlooking a glorious long valley view. 

The owners also gave us a fresh avocado with local honey and Bruno asked if they had any more to which he was told sure, just go pick them. They went off under the terrace and picked up 4 or 5 big cricket balls from high up using a net on a 3-metre bamboo pole. I love that Bruno will just go and do what takes his fancy and it always ends us up in interesting situations

The best thing about today was:

The ride down from Doi Chang and through Doi Wawee was just beautiful and Wawee especially was a pretty village. The school had just let out students at midday and we drove up past the gates. The school is magnificent, sculpted up the hillside, and looks impeccable. All the kids were happy and playful as they tumbled out down the hill. 

Riding through these places made me reflect a bit more on my place in Thailand and as a teacher. I can understand more about the teacher’s and the student’s apathy when I see the places where they live and the lack of opportunities and ambition around them. I give them a hard time to make the best of themselves and now I recognise those soft faces looking up at me quietly expressing, ‘What’s the point?’

Once on the road back to Mae Chan, I got stuck behind a van with about ten school students stuffed in the back along with various packages, parcels and goods. They were all happily, lazily chatting and looking at their phones, perhaps just being in the happy childhood state of not knowing what is going to happen next, where they are going or what they will do when they arrive.

In opposition, all I wanted to do was overtake the van but the roads were too twisty to be able to get around. I just wanted to get home to where I knew exactly everything that will happen. I wished I could go back to that state of happiness that comes from interruptions to boredom, saying yes to anything, just to hang out a bit longer.

When I was like that I was usually the last one home.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I thought I would struggle with not having my usual two morning coffees but for some reason, I was just psyched to be riding and didn’t really want to stop anywhere until we got ‘there’, wherever the next ‘there ‘ was.

At the end of the 7-hour ride, covered in mud, dirt and dust I dropped into Utopia for coffee finally and they all wondered why I hadn’t been in the morning.

Something I learned today?

I learned that civet shit coffee tastes smooth but is overpriced and overrated.

What was I like as a child?

The same as I am now but less grown up….in effect, I am still a child, it is just that I have learned how to handle adult responsibilities. 

I took this picture because we nearly missed this shop but glad we turned back to stop and check out this incredible view.

Old Man Of Twenty One – 4th August 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

I was from there, but you came from here
And now we’re here you want to leave
Beyond our borders, greener grasses
Chasing after the things that we believe

The world is sure bigger than we understand
To dip toes in the sand or look out from the hill
People leaving for ports unknown
And then we feel as if we’re standing still

For miles and miles, watch the Earth curve
And start running towards all your dreams
But one day, we arrive and reminisce
For the days when nothing was what it seems

Yesterday I was seventeen and tomorrow I’ll be dead
Pretending to be adult til that’s what I became
Dismissing the words of my all-knowing elders
Who’d long since been through the same

Those times we thought we were at the centre
And everything was made for us to hold
Now understood to be just youthful wishes
With the wisdom that came from getting old

inspired by this post at Spinning Visions and its connection with my own experience.

Today I’m feeling:

Really good. An easy day with a nice long gap between easy classes. With only about 6 hours of good sleep last night, I knew I was tired but was able to just remain laid back and go with the flow.

Today I’m grateful for:

Amy persisting in hugging me last night before arousing me from my lucid dreams and into a delicious tangle of hips and limbs before we even managed to kiss. 30 minutes later and I was happily drifting into crazy dreams for far too short a time.

The best thing about today was:

From my ab workout and muesli yoghurt breakfast until sitting in this cool aircon before sleeping it’s been a day of feeling happy and spreading a little happiness around. A little bit of joy was shared between us all.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

One of my students, Namfon, couldn’t do work in my class yesterday because she had no internet connection on her phone. This morning I asked her to come and talk to me and Kru Karn because I wanted to know how we could fix the situation. I could tell Kru Karn was really short with her and blaming her and Namfon started to look dejected and almost teary. I felt sorry for her but also wanted her to know that a solution had to be found. When we went back to class I tried to comfort her and she did eventually come round to a little smile. 

In my afternoon class lovely little Nicha had a cry too because, although she didn’t admit it to me until later, she couldn’t understand the work I wanted her to do. There was a lot of work and other students were too busy to help her. She told me her frustrations and again I tried to comfort her and she impressed me with being able to read more words this year. Even though she is one of the older kids she hasn’t really matured yet and, sadly, she’s been left behind in her class. It is a frustrating situation for everyone because she could easily slip through the cracks and deserves a better chance than what is on offer.

Something I learned today?

Again with students, I saw Fah in class today and she looked lost in thought and upset about something which is unusual for her. When I bumped into her l asked her about it and she couldn’t explain in English and just said รำคาญ which I later looked up to find means annoyed. I’m learning language in use.

I took this picture last month because all the paddies are getting seeded and this should all look amazing again in a couple of months’ time. No new picture today so having to dig back.

Met In A Maze – 26th July 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

That day of heartbreak set me on a path
I learned how easy it was to hurt others
And through the maze of time and people
It would be my turn to torture ex-lovers

Then it took another decade or two
To undo all the hurting done
That started with that one broken promise
Perhaps long forgotten by some

Now worlds away from each other
We all found our way down different paths
If we stumbled into each other’s dreams
Would they be full of our cries or laughs

Wishing things were different always held us back
We never knew better at the time
There’s a little piece of you in my head
That I promise will always be mine

2nd November 2024 – Shared with Ragtag Daily Prompt – happy chance

Today I’m feeling:

A better sleep that wasn’t long enough. Pushed through an ab workout that I didn’t want to do. Feeling positive and content though I will stir further into action once I get some coffee, otherwise I could quite easily just fall back to sleep if the opportunity arose.

Today I’m grateful for:

Getting home and finding all my shirts ironed by my lovely wife. I had been putting it off because it’s too hot, even to do it sitting in an air-conditioned room. I’m also grateful to find out today that tomorrow morning there is some event for one of my classes so that I don’t have to teach them.

The best thing about today was:

Amy’s dinner. I came home hungry and Amy knocked up a delicious fake duck chilli jam, Thai basil stir fry that every single spoonful was scintillating down to the last one and even writing about it now is making my mouth water. To top it all Amy went out to meet her friends so I had a chance to bash around on the guitar for an hour or so which made me happy.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I fell asleep before writing anything here. Handled by writing this tomorrow morning.

Something I learned today?

I learned that Noey in 2/6 is disliked by most of her classmates although I couldn’t quite figure out why. Jet said it’s because she is lazy and always causes the rest of the class to have to wait for her to finish but I think there are worse offenders of that than Noey.

In general, how do I feel about how my life is going right now?

I think life is going pretty well. I’ve gotten used to the change of rhythm with Amy being back so when she is back in October more permanently it should be fairly easy to settle again. Amy is talking about her business plan so I’m glad to hear that. If that happens it would feel more settled for the future. Our health is reasonably good, our cats are old but in good condition. Our little family is doing okay.

I know yesterday was an old cloud picture day but I took this picture because this looked like it would brew nicely into something that cools down the evening. It was dark and I was playing guitar loudly by the time it hit and Cap ran under cover under the desk at the first peals of thunder and then static crackled through my amp with every flash of lightning. By the time I finished playing the storm was done and any coolness brought didn’t seem to make any difference as the humidity just increased. The rice field was ploughed last weekend and will soon be filled with a sea of green seedlings.

Blesses These – 10th July 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Princesses, such sweet peas
No stresses, eager to please
Impresses, hungry honey bees
Caresses, eyes of hes and shes

These princesses turned a lot of heads of their fellow students as they dressed up. It’s one of the arguments for having school uniforms instead of letting the kids dress how they would like.

Today I’m feeling:

Good so far, probably because I went through my usual work morning routine. Drove to work, clocked in and came back already as I have no classes today. It’s 8.15 and I’m here sitting in Utopia. Can I keep up this positive feeling? I have a couple of tasks to complete, cleaning and visa application forms, which I put off over the weekend. I know I’m going to have to force myself to do them. Do it you lazy prick!

(Later): I did it.

Today I’m grateful for:

The little pieces of gym equipment I have. I use some stretching bands with handles to do a little leg, neck and shoulder routine some days and I recently bought some rings which I can hang from and which I hope that one day I may even be able to do a pull-up. Just one. That would be enough for me.

The best thing about today was:

Trying to learn to play Bolero on guitar. I can play each part correctly after a few attempts but can’t nail it all the way through yet. I like it to play though – it has a good feel to it. In the app I use it is a level 7 song, a little above where I’m currently at. 
Yesterday I also managed to scrape through a level 11 rendition of the metal version of Asturias. That’s a fun song to play but level 11 is way out of my league. I can’t hit the strings that fast.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

It is slightly annoying that I still have to go to school and sign in even if I have no class but at the same time, I’m glad I did because going through that morning routine has kept my energy boosted throughout the day.
I really should organise myself to have things to do on the weekend otherwise my lethargy takes over.
Amy is back on Friday for about three weeks and I’m sure she will keep me busy somehow or other!

Something I learned today?

It’s a new year of freshers at the university and the first day sees clean bright white shirts and pressed skirts. Weirdly I didn’t notice many boys as I was walking around the market. Do they start on different days to the girls?

How does the weather impact my mood and daily activities?

Everything impacts my mood. I noticed today that I felt disappointed that the kids weren’t very chatty and playful. I wonder if I depend on them too much to spur on my own happiness. It was only a brief thought but even those small thoughts impact my mood.
As I was driving back I could see the soft wispy clouds on the peaks and in the valleys of the mountains. It was beautiful and inspiring despite the general grey of the skies. It reminded me a little of the Lake District. It’s weird to feel down in Thailand when the skies are grey. I think it’s a trigger to my memories of England. Even when it is grey here the temperature is still high. It’s almost the opposite here in that the heat and humidity are so over the top and oppressive. That becomes annoying when you feel as if there is no escape.

I took this picture because big dumb Tangmo comes for rubs but smells so bad I rub him with my feet.

Cleitus – 28th June 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

My saviour come, rescue me
We’ll sit and drink as friends
Until a change of direction flows
Towards the most deadly ends
In a rage, a spear picked up
Stabbed through the heart that breaks
A friend now forever dead
Another left living with his mistakes

Today I’m feeling:

A little refreshed though a little slow to go. A delicious sleep-in this morning occasionally broken by light pouring in and cats crying to be fed. Two Utopia coffees have me buzzing. It’s almost a shame that I still have to go to school for a couple of hours. I’ve never been able to feel comfortable with spending free time before going to work. I’m more of a get-up-and-get-to-work person. Get it over and done with and relax after it’s finished.

Today I’m grateful for:

Having a working reliable car that I was able to drive through a big storm to get to work this afternoon. The rain was so heavy that most cars pulled over until it passed. I was on a tight schedule, though obviously, I slowed down.

The best thing about today was:

Wandering around the school finding my students doing various activities, mostly unhappily and having fun with them. I was in a good mood because I only did about ten minutes work and was about to make my way home again.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Whilst I was sitting in the car preparing to leave, my phone connected to the car to play my queued podcasts as normal, I looked at my phone and there was a message saying that the app I was using would be discontinued next month. Just as I finally had things set up and running smoothly on it. Sigh.
Inevitably, when I got to school at the appropriate time there was lots of sitting around waiting before I was due to do anything so I did some research, downloaded a new app and found all my podcasts again and set my queue up again. All done!

Something I learned today?

If you want to lose belly fat you should do some active exercise approximately two hours after waking up. I’m often in the classroom around that point and I’m pretty active. I’m not much of a sit-down teacher.

How do I show love and support to those around me?

An interesting question as it’s not something I consciously think about. If someone is sad I will be empathetic. If they are struggling I will talk with them. I’m going to wimp out here and say etc etc.
But I would also say that I don’t get too involved in other people’s lives so I might not know so much about what is going on with them anyway. I don’t need my nose in everyone’s business either.

I took this picture because I love to see the sun hit the mountains whilst clouds are hanging around, heavy like this one was. I’m thankful to be able to see the wonders of nature almost every day.

Beautiful Hell – 20th June 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

A half-finished thought on a scrap
Of paper left to wait on the dash
Perhaps one day it will be completed
On this keyboard that I bash
The cosmos forever turning makes
For a beautiful hell to weave
Wherever these gifts are coming from
They’re a pleasure to receive

inspired by text at the Spinning Visions blog

Today I’m feeling:

Pretty good. My classes went well despite some annoyances and stresses. I felt a little bit over it by the end of the day and was glad to get home.

Today I’m grateful for:

Finishing entering my gratitude journal entries online for March 2021-June 2021. Onto the next little journal which continues up to August 2022 and when I started using this app (Day One). It’s kinda ironic that my last entry in that journal I just finished talked about being grateful for the journal itself as I prefer to write with a pen on paper rather than use the phone. I guess I still do prefer that but I’ve gotten used to doing these on the phone now.

The best thing about today was:

Chatting with my student Jet. She asked me what I thought about Kru Ren and I told her I liked him because he was unusual. She agreed and wants to talk with him more because she’s intrigued. She said he is an otaku’s otaku! I don’t know him well enough to comment but I also find him intriguing especially yesterday when he was wearing blue contact lenses.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Well, this is more the opposite. 
In my class yesterday it was apparent that the students didn’t understand much so I quickly put together some work that would give them more familiarity with the vocab and how to find their meanings in the dictionary along with a translation so that they could make connections. 
Setting this up kept them quiet and having them write it all down will help reinforce things a little more. By the time I got to the next class to teach them the same thing I had re-jigged the lesson so that it was in a better order. 
By tomorrow I should know if it has improved from the student’s perspective too.

Something I learned today?

I found some exercises and massage to possibly help my sore toe. I’m not sure if it is a bunion or not but the information should be useful anyway. It seems I would also benefit from buying wide-toed shoes to help too.

What is my favourite way to connect with nature?

See today’s picture. Right now getting on my motorbike and riding around is the best and easiest way for me. I do miss different natural settings these days. I mean the mountains and the jungle are breathtaking at times but it seems impossible to go anywhere here to get away from it.

On Sunday I took this picture because these vivid colours stood out as I was whizzing through this village on my motorbike. I had to stop and go back to get this shot but I’m glad I did.

Animal Pure – 14th May 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

These relations are an approximation
Things are more beautiful when you are on the outside 
Trusting the seasons more than people
Loving the cities, loving the animals
I know. I know. I know. Don’t get too close
I’m not letting anyone in.

inspired and paraphrased from Broken Summers by Henry Rollins

Today I’m feeling:

(morning)Expectant, anticipating. Winding up with stress. Envisioning feelings and actions of tomorrow.
(bedtime)At the moment I’m feeling a bit despondent if I’m honest. I don’t have a clear direction or purpose right now. 

Today I’m grateful for:

Receiving a new T-shirt in the mail that I wore for the first time today. It has a new t-shirt smell and feel for the first and only time. After the first wash that will be gone.

The best thing about today was:

Meeting a lovely little kitten when I was picking up lunch. Reminded me a lot of when we first got Kim Chi. I felt an excitement from the unconditional affection it gave me. I thought about what it would be like if I took this kitten home right now and it made me a little sad because I don’t want to lose and replace my memories of Kim. I know I will lose them one day and maybe that will be a better time to think about new additions to the family.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Amy made another quip about my not knowing enough Thai when I told her about the aircon people. She said ‘How am I going to survive in Thailand if I don’t communicate more?’ though I’ve been here by myself for most of 18 months and during most of that time she’s talked about us staying in Australia which doesn’t inspire me so much to want to struggle more with learning the language. I felt frustrated and a little disconsolate. Maybe I should go and find some intensive course to study next April, somewhere in the south where I can avoid the air pollution for a while.

Something I learned today?

I saw some Google AI updates for Gmail that looked useful though it would’ve been more useful to me about 20 years ago. I don’t use email so much these days.

What is the weather like right now?

Cooler and cloudy. Low clouds making the mountains pretty. There’s sun over there somewhere as it’s hitting sections of the mountain lighting them up in a peculiar fashion as the cooler cloud sits above.

I took this picture because I made a new friend at lunchtime.

Failure Porn World – 6th May 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Everyone is looking for a laugh
To put a smile on their face
In an upside-down world
Digging down is the safest place

Pick ourselves up by putting down
Cut down all the tall poppies
Misfortune brings us all together
So that’s what everyone copies

Fortune cookie philosophers rant
How to make a million dollars
But the need for the dopamine rush
Will never make us into scholars

A promise one day it could be you
That is the star of the show
Turnover is high in failure porn world
Clicked over to the next video

29th Nov 2024 – Shared with Ragtag Daily Prompt – failure

Today I’m feeling:

Hot. It’s hot. This is Thailand. What did I expect? The aircon stopped working in the bedroom last night and the temperature never dropped below 28 degrees. I slept fine though. Tonight I may have to sleep with the window open and have the fan next to it, weakly sucking in cooler air from the night. In the meantime, I have to contact someone to come and fix the machine.

Today I’m grateful for:

My portable hard drives that allow me to save and move files around from one place to another. When my crusty cranky old MBP stopped recognizing one of the drives I was able to swap things around and get things running again with a freshly formatted drive. I think I may be at the point now where I just don’t need any more drives. I’ve slowed down my music consumption a lot recently and I have too many movies to ever have enough time to watch.

The best thing about today was:

A general feeling of well-being. Perhaps the only thing that really stood out was riding back from Utopia and going on a convoluted path home. The sun’s heat was like a blanket around my skin with the breeze being just enough to stop feeling crispy. I slowed down a little to savour the feeling. The mountains looked like a photograph from the 70s, all washed out due to the hazy air, enough blue sky shimmering through from above to highlight the depth.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

It was time to start a new book whilst sipping coffee at Utopia so I had a quick scan of the shelves at home. I use my Utopia time to read music biographies or music-related books. Yesterday I  finished Dave Simpson’s The Fallen. Now it was a choice between SNFU or Rollins Broken Summers. I opted for the latter. As I start reading I get back into Henry’s groove quickly and easily. He’s a maniac. I respect his attitude a lot. I see parallels with myself in his words though I’m totally softcore in comparison.
As I keep reading I realise I’ve read this before and not too long ago. I wonder whether to ditch it and swap it tomorrow. However, the strength of the writing keeps me intent to follow along as he prepares for another tour of duty. I feel compelled to bring his attitude back into my thinking as I prepare for my own lovely little war in the classroom over the next couple of weeks. I need to get back to some discipline. Cut the flabby excesses of lethargy.

Something I learned today?

I’ve seen a few videos of people telling jokes to make each other laugh and if they do they lose a point or take a drink or similar punishment. Sometimes they are fun to watch. One popped up and the thumbnail looked like a guy I vaguely knew back in Sydney so I watched it and sure enough, Rodney Todd in all his afro-hairy glory!

What is something I can’t live without?

There’s nothing beyond air, food and water. Without other things, life would certainly be uncomfortable. It’s like people who lose everything in house fires, they find that their lives still go on. I’m thinking about Kim Chi today and how sad I still feel about losing her. But here I am.

Where are you, Kim Chi? Why are you not here? I miss you so much.