Hometown Postman – 12th April 2023

A town all snowy white and middle-class
The drunks tell stories often repeated
Shufflers trapped in a cul-de-sac torture
All plans for their children defeated

A week in the sun by the sea
Swap cardigans for sunburned backs
Strange behaviours set tongues wagging
Is this the life that everyone lacks?

Enter no more the green and pleasant
Ruined by the hardest-working poor
Facing fists of fury on walking home
All desperately banging on the door

The drizzle drenches the pavements grey
Children too bored to stomp in puddles
Tugged by the leashes of all that glitters
Out of reach of all of these muddles

Excitements distract along the terrace
Dogs fight cats, cat fights dog
A word of wise from the blinders
Submit oneself to pointless slog

13th Apr 2024 – Shared to Weekly Prompts Weekend Challenge – pointless
10th Oct 2024 – Shared with Word of the Day Challenge – hometown


Today I’m feeling:

A little more positive and upbeat. It’s not time that heals our grief, it’s the forgetting.

Today I’m grateful for:

Sight. My eyesight is suffering a little these days perhaps from the dodgy air, lack of sleep and constant looking at screens. But I can still see. If I had to choose between losing my sight or my hearing I would choose losing sight. I would miss reading but could still listen to audiobooks. I think I would really struggle emotionally if I couldn’t listen to music though.

It still feels like yesterday that, as children, we were all warned about listening to loud music would damage our ears so much that we would go deaf in our old age. And that watching too much TV would lead to early-onset blindness. I had to start wearing glasses when I was around 26 years old and my mum had to wear hearing aids from perhaps her 50s onwards. So I guess I’m doing all right so far.

The best thing about today was:

Brushing Cap and Tig whilst they purred in pleasure. They have been getting more attention from me now Kim is gone. They are still fussy about being touched or picked up but if they are in the right mood it does seem as if they are reciprocating my love.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Right now Netflix isn’t working for me. Just as I’d like to settle back and watch some more of the series Dark. It’s not like there is nothing else I can do so this is only a mild annoyance. I’m aware it’s also a very first-world problem too.

Something I learned today?

Apparently, there is a weird law here in Thailand that makes it illegal for politicians to sing and dance on stage during an election. This came to note because someone called out the current Thai PM for doing exactly this recently. The annoying thing about the article discussing this was the fact that there was no indication of why this was a law. Presumably, it made sense at the time it was implemented. It may even make sense now if it was explained. Like any law in Thailand, it is fairly flexible and depends on who broke it as to whether any action would be taken.

What are 3 things that bring me joy?

Nothing is really bringing me joy right now. My positive emotions are not that strong I guess. The emotions of grief and sadness are much easier for me to tap into. I’m bouncing back slowly but it does make me think why can’t I be prone to happiness and joy instead? They are all just emotions.


I took this picture because this is our infamous red sun as it sets behind our blooming frangipani. For most of these days, the smoke is so thick that if the sun can be seen at all it can be stared at directly without a problem. That’s something I’d prefer not to be able to do for the sake of a clear sky.

The Black Monk – 5th February 2023

Approaching from the horizon
Shrinking as getting nearer
A cloud-like hallucination
With a face forming clearer

And words whispered soft
Agreeable to the heart
The mirage matters not
As it hastens to depart

Soon a regular visitor
To discuss things of great import
To soothe a troubled soul
Where madness is said to cavort

And to banish the monk black
Is a mistake of pure vanity
As real life makes its attack
Upon one’s prevailing sanity

So despair visits the garden
For one more forming of breath
A reminiscence of loving times
Before submission unto death

inspired by the Anton Chekov short story of the same name


Today I’m feeling:

Happy and run out of energy during the day.

Today I’m grateful for:

The water from the ground that is down there somewhere in the earth and finds its way to the pipes in our house so we can drink wash and feed our garden. I don’t understand how it works and I hope it never stops working!

The best thing about today was:

Riding my pushbike to Utopia and back this morning before it got too hot was a pleasant little exercise that my body and brain enjoyed.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

The only things out of my control today were trivial and inconsequential and were handled by just getting on with it (as my mum would say).

Something I learned today?

From an online video, I learned what to do at Thai police checkpoints. Be calm. Don’t offer money but wait until the police want to deal and then negotiate. The Thai Tourist Police number is 1155. Don’t go to the police station. You are entitled to record the officer’s information and film them inspecting bags.

Reflect on a meaningful experience I had this week.

It has been nice to see the two students I helped get antidepressant medication appear to be improving, at least from what they are telling me. Another one that confides in me though still seems to be struggling. I talk to them when I can but can only help so much.

I took this picture because P’ti fled out the door at Utopia as someone came in to buy coffee. Art caught him and sat him and the bench where P’ti spied on birds in the field like a Kilroy!

A Deer With No Eyes – 19th December 2022

It was in the trees, in the air
Its meaning was never clear
Both here and over there
Sometimes hidden in fear
It was simple, it was strong
It would never disappear
Sometimes right and other times wrong
Especially after having a beer
Often spoken, sometimes just thought
It influences its sphere
Sometimes learned, sometimes taught
Or born right now and here
Never met a deer with no eyes
They always seem to appear
Born in imagination, in surprise
Boom! – an idea!


The universe is what it is, not what I choose that it should be.

Bertrand Russell

Today I’m feeling:
Content, relaxed
Today I’m grateful for:
The staff at the hospital that administered (paperwork and execution) Amy’s second rabies shot. Hopefully her wounds heal well and there are no repercussions.
The best thing about today was:
Today has been consistent and modestly good, from a bit of exercise, listening to an interesting podcast about the Slits, good coffees, a fun first class, taking Amy to the hospital, then lunch at Oasis, more good coffee, a fun second class, then to the movies to watch the second Avatar movie which, whilst not a great movie was better than I expected.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I had to run around for, and with, Amy a lot today and couldn’t spend my usual time writing and reading at House which I look forward to. Rather than feeling grudgful I tried to savour and did end up enjoying the whole day.
Something I learned today?
I mostly learned this last week whilst listening to Jello Biafra interview Dominic Davi on his Renegade Roundtable podcast, though I finished listening this morning. Dominic had had a stroke fairly recently and described the experience and aftereffects of it. I’d been thinking about it on and off over the weekend especially as I am now in the age demographic more likely to experience this. This morning I was reminded again about the BE FAST acronym. Balance, Eyes, Face and then the other things I forget but I reckon you’d recognise it with those at least. This is all well and good to assist someone else but I’d be worried if it was happening to me and I was by myself or unable to communicate with others around me as Dominic described. He was helped quickly be others recognising the signs. Well, this is useful knowledge at least though I hope it is knowledge that will go unused.
Describe something you learned from your mother.
I’ve written about this before but I think I learned patience, hard work, solitude and don’t-give-a-fuck-what-others-think attitude from my mum.

I took this picture because I gave my students in 1/7 a spelling test and with prep and repetition took about one and a half hours to complete but it was actually a lot of fun and I think the kids even found it a little amusing, some of them doing better than either they or I expected. This is also the only picture I took today!

Derelict – 18th October 2022

Smashed windows and roof decayed
A place where memories were once made
Now hidden to the exploring eye
Possibilities came here now gone by

One day the love in my own home
Will be left to explorers unknown
Pondered upon with little idea
Of all the things that happened here

The tiles will crack and ceilings fall
Jungle vines will creep up the wall
The once-pretty garden overrun
Plastic disintegrates in the sun

The roaming ghosts of our happy cats
No longer worry the scurrying rats
Body broken as the irons rust
Will all be blown away as dust


I think perfection is ugly. Somewhere in the things humans make, I want to see scars, failure, disorcer, distortion.

Yohji Yamamoto

Today I’m feeling:
Chill chill
Today I’m grateful for:
A long catch-up sleep with interesting but forgotten dreams. I also woke up with no pain in my neck but that didn’t last for too long.
The best thing about today was:
Its simplicity and feeling contented with a day of non-excitement. A little bit of this and that counters any possibility of boredom. I feel free!
In what ways are you “just like your parents?”
I am just like my mum now. It’s scary how much I look like her. Right now I live by myself (practically) and love to read books, much like she did. I don’t need to be around people often and happy in my own company, just as I saw her. I don’t think I can be much like my dad as I have no idea if he had any influence over me in my first 18 months before he died. I wonder though if there was a residual sadness that brushed on me in that short time…?

I took this picture because it just looked idyllic as I was speeding by and had to turn back to take a quick picture. This one is from yesterday. I didn’t really do anything today.

Empire Fanfic For Slow Kids – 22nd May 2022

Words are written to fan the flames
Generate outrage with magic games
Knowing nothing except the names
Of all those whom the writer blames
Propaganda pushed to every screen
Harmony must remain a dream
The devil, front and centre, seen
More dangerous than it’s ever been
Heroes forever dashing hopes
Innocents on hanging ropes
Testing how its society copes
Forever sliding down slippery slopes

*Inspired by and title appropriated from Caitlin Johnstone


What are you going to believe, the facts or your eyes?

Ronald Reagan official

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for this mango jam that Amy’s mum made and the bagel that Nong Nut made.

A Cola – 22nd March 2022

A life born of consumption
My guts bubble in excitement
My body has these nightmares
Of a past now forgotten
Perhaps returned and crushed
Repurposed and reused
When you look inside
I’ll pop bubbles on your nose
Soon my existence will be elsewhere
As another form of recycling
No more thoughts

Inspired by the ‘Everything Is Alive‘ podcast. Won’t someone please think of the cola!?


Unlucky is the man who is born with great expectations and who finds nothing in life quite up to the mark.

John Burroughts

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to Amy’s mum who cares and does little bits and pieces around the garden.

My Terrorist – 16th September 2021

You’re my terrorist, siding with our gods
Next week’s enemy, against all the odds
Difficult to believe, though it’s oft-repeated
Cheating the cheaters, so everyone is cheated

You’re my terrorist, you may do my bidding
About those rewards, I was only kidding
You die for nothing, just another’s lies
And in your defeat, I still claim the prize


Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for the coolness of winter days very slowly returning. Comfortable mornings of fog and misty mountains.


As I’m reading another article about stoicism, gratitude and amor fati, I can feel my brain changing. These words were revelatory for me when I first read them. Now they are comfortable reminders of my acceptance of the way the world is and the way I am. I often think about my mother and wish to hear her talk about things in our lives. I can’t do that except in my mind. That brings me some comfort still.

I miss Kimi even more, in some ways. My mother is/was always a part of my life. Kimi was a kindred spirit I found, like Jochen and Matt, Rich, Steve and Rob and others. Finding some special people in your life is a rewarding experience that provides hope and gratitude to my being.

Amy’s auntie passed away last night. Perhaps some people will feel the same way about her. I hope so.

Our plans (what little we have) will change this weekend but that is out of my control so I can accept it.

I will do what I can to continue living this blessed life in the best way possible. Now, it’s time for class. Let’s see if I can take this positivity and rub it off on some of my students.

The Fallen City – 27th August 2021

This forbidden love wasn’t designed to last
We both realise that now it’s gone
The savage betrayals, a reflection
As the threads of hope all come undone

It’s a timeless story, always repeated
Because passions cannot be denied
Dreams of forever just fall apart
Ever quicker the more it’s tried

The victims suffer the recognition
As their cities of dreams are burned
Eyes open to once blinding mistakes
A war from which much was learned


Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to my mother who somehow managed to instil in me an interest in reading, which I fought against for many years – not on purpose but just interested in other things instead.


Starting writing in a fresh new book is a nice feeling. As was finishing up on the last page of the previous book.

Life feels somewhat in a holding pattern at the moment. Maybe time to get myself into doing something different in my spare time, which really just means adding more things to do and having less and less spare time, but that is my privileged status that I need to learn to enjoy.

It was great to see Amy happy, busy and productive yesterday as she has found a quiet niche for baking cinnamon scrolls that look and taste amazing. As soon as pictures went on Facebook, people started asking to order. I think it’s better for her to be concentrating on this whilst it’s fresh for people and can inspire her on to more for future cooking endeavours.

As we both always say, we are lucky to have many different options available to us.

Check and Balance – 21st August 2021

We found the gold, inspired by dreams
Furious labour generated the means
No stone unturned, nothing it seems
– Left resting on laurels waiting

On the other side of the rainbow where
Further riches found to those who dare
Turn off your taps from which to share
– Numbers ever bigger accumulating

Now standing alone on an empty shore
The sun is setting, there’s nothing more
Was it all worth the fighting for?
– To watch accounts ever-inflating

For all your atoms the gods reclaim
There’s no longer a use for your name
The prince and the pauper – all the same
– The imbalance of our own creating

Some inspiring lines from ‘Abe – Wrong for all the Right Reasons’ by Glenn Dakin
13th Mar 2024 – Submitted to Weekly Prompts Wednesday Challenge – Chemistry


Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for the crispy peanut brittle I bought yesterday and ate today. It reminded me of my mum who used to love getting it when her teeth were still good. I hope my teeth can hang in there!


After wearing a neck support, which has been helping, I woke up today worse than ever. Actually, I woke up fine, but then twisted wrong and now struggle to look to the left. But in good news, my lower back is feeling a bit better now.

Yesterday was an odd one as we ran around with my visa application. I had to cancel one of my classes cos I was still stuck at Immigration, and then I discovered that my 90-day check-in wasn’t renewed with my latest visa, which I had assumed it would be, so I got fined for not doing it in time. That pissed me off so I cancelled my other class for the day and came home and happily dozed while listening to music instead. It was sweet bliss!