Tag: Oasis

Broken Poetry – 31st August 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 2 Comments

Is this matrix worthwhile?
I miss her, I miss her so
Broken hearts will mend in time
I know, I know, yes, I know

Inside broken poetry
Made a home from a dead heart
We are creatures made to love
And duty-bound, play our part

She has gone and I’m still here
The cosmic universe chose
She’s shown me that I’m worth it
Back to the matrix she goes

Inspired, borrowed and paraphrased into seven-syllable lines from the question and answer at The Red Hand Files #293

The Decline and Fall of the British Empire, 1781-1997 by Piers Brendon
(reviewed at Goodreads.com)

I love the language used in this book though it did make it a little bit of a slog but, as an Englishman myself, this was a fascinating journey. Somehow, in my youth, I was aware of the way things were going in Britain and got myself out just before the end of this book, the handover of Hong Kong.

I was appalled at the lies and deceit of the Empire and thoroughly enjoyed following its decline. I also noted how the USA was (hypocritically) critical of Britain’s colonialism before they stepped into the breach after WW2. And it fills me with warmth to see the USA making the same mistakes since then, and being able to watch their own empire’s decline in real time.

Today I’m feeling:

Sleepy and lazy. Knowing that I have the next six days at home isn’t helping either! 

I want to get myself motivated but my body is holding back my brain.

(Later) Well, I did a bit of reading and finally finished my book.  Onto some sci-fi next for something a little different.

I was able to motivate myself to get out to my room where I did some blogging, writing, listening and guitar playing, which I was glad of but didn’t feel was particularly inspiring.  

Sometimes you just have to go through the motions to work towards that habit.

Health:

Physical: 6
Mental: 7

Today I’m grateful for:

Amy’s friend Fon, who dropped off a couple of small fish for us yesterday and Amy cooked them up for lunch today.

The best thing about today was:

Eating! I had breakfast, lunch and dinner today, as I’m wondering if my lack of energy is down to not eating enough. I’ll see how I feel tomorrow. 

I’m a couple of kilos up on last week, too, so I need to make sure that if I do get energised, that I work out of again.

Something I learned today?

Art was really excited to tell me this morning that Oasis will play some concerts again and that he would fly to Singapore to see them if he had to!

I took this picture because our visitor came for a chill on the grass this afternoon.

The Retreat – 17th January 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Shacked up with a slacker
Who said our gold was in the hills
A guitar strapped to his back
To sing of other people’s thrills

The words are spat with bitterness
The war is raging in his head
But anger without direction
Is replaced by apathy instead

The party starts at home
With our disaffected friends
With the battle in our songs
Forgotten when it ends

Stirred into one final action
When the pipe of peace got broke
Understanding that our pain
Is only countered by the smoke

So it was, we came and went
We conquered nothing at all
We disappeared without a trace
Into the bottom of the bowl

Nearer heaven we rested heads
Too tired to take our chance
Extinguished, all those little fires
Where we no longer dance

inspired by ‘The Slacker’ in Zachary Mexico’s book China Underground

Today I’m feeling:

A little better again though still not quite right in the sinuses. Exercise got me going and I felt in a good mood for the whole day.

Today I’m grateful for:

The vegetarian food from Oasis and dessert snacks from the snack shop. Hopefully, there are snack boxes left over again tonight.

The best thing about today was:

Teaching my grade 10 class again. It’s a good feeling to have more mature students who try and want to understand more.

It did get me feeling a little like asking to spread out the classes between the foreign teachers so that not all the juniors are dumped on me and David. I know asking this is going to upset George though as he refuses to teach the younger ones, but it feels a little unfair not to split them more evenly.

I would be less tired at the end of the week and David is always talking of quitting because of the stress of his junior classes. I love those kids but I also value my health.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Another day of going with the flow mostly.

Something I learned today?

As I teach my grade 10s about relationships I’m learning a little about each of them and their personalities. Toon told me she is a people pleaser whilst Milk doesn’t care if a boy is interested in her. They joked that between them they make a balanced human being.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I gave some leftover snacks from last night’s ceremony to some students this morning.

I drove Amy and me home and back to the city to pick up snack boxes and food for tonight’s ceremony.

I took this picture because Tokyo was pretty relaxed. I still have to be very careful with her though. She can bite really quickly and with no apparent provocation.

Google It – 14th February 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Just give me the answer
I don’t want to think
The end result the same
No waste of pen and ink

I don’t want to learn
Just want to jump the queue
Find the fast way forward
And the easiest way through

Smart enough to cheat
I’ll copy from the best
And when the time comes
I’ll just bluff the test

If I end up in the field
Painfully planting rice
I’ll remember those times
At the top were really nice

Today I’m feeling:

Smooth, content. I didn’t get enough sleep last night but it hasn’t put me in a bad mood, more like a dream state that I’m gliding through.

Today I’m grateful for:

The lady that always serves me at Oasis. She recognises me now and knows that I like to add sugar, vinegar and pickled chilli to my food.

The best thing about today was:

Relaxing a little into my classes today and enjoying the interactions with everyone. I was also heartened to receive small Valentine’s gifts from my old students as well as stickers from my current ones.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Amy called me and was annoyed and upset. I’d been to the hospital to see the psyche but I didn’t wait around to get the meds as there were too many people waiting. I knew I could come back later when it was quieter.

At some point, the hospital called Amy’s number because I hadn’t collected the meds. Amy’s phone diverts to her mum here in Thailand and then she calls Amy. I don’t know why no one calls me!

Amy checked on the camera and thought I wasn’t at home as I’d kept the doors all closed because of the air pollution but I was in the living room eating food and watching TV. When she called she wanted to know where I’d been and talked in an accusatory manner and this annoyed me as I was feeling very good until then.

Anyway, a little while later I’d worked my mood back into feeling positive again and called her at our regular time. She was tired and still a little grumpy so we didn’t talk long. Everything will be fine again.

Something I learned today?

I’ve read a little about a serious train derailment in Ohio that caused a huge explosion of dangerous toxic chemicals and that it hasn’t got much coverage there as the US focuses its media towards its coming war with China and having its population on board with that idea. Some reports have said that the effects of the situation are worse than a nuclear reactor meltdown!

I can feel it will soon be time to disconnect from news again soon. Everything is just seemingly fucked everywhere you look.

What makes me laugh?

Really there are not many things that make me laugh as such. I still enjoy comedy etc but that has a purpose to make you laugh. So the main thing that makes me laugh is, of course, my students. They make me laugh when they are happy and playful but also when they are angry and emotional.

I took this picture because the morning sun burns red through the haze on the horizon.

And Then… – 10th February 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

At the vanguard, the pinnacle
No longer an unknown fuzz
It doesn’t get better than this
And then it does

At the peak of the mountain
After setting the world on fire
Nowhere left to go after this
And then someone else goes higher

Supersonic humanitarian jets
Speed help to any disaster
Always first on the scene
Until someone else goes faster

Everything pushed to the limit
Achievement no longer a buzz
It doesn’t get better than this
And then it does

Today I’m feeling:

Rundown and a little bored and unenthused.

Today I’m grateful for:

The Mama noodles, egg, onion and dried protein from Oasis that formed my dinner. All the people involved in making, packaging, buying and selling and delivering these separate ingredients that made into my kitchen, my bowl and then my belly.

The best thing about today was:

I’m not in the best of moods today though purely due to tiredness. I did feel better after eating and did then enjoy reading another Anton Chekov story ‘Ariadne’ which at one point describes that deep emotional love of connection with another body that one must savour completely. I also got absorbed in another chapter of Affluenza in the evening too.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I couldn’t force myself up and out of bed this morning. I ate a weed gummy a couple of hours before going to bed last night and was maybe feeling the lingering effects of that. Consequently, I was late to get to school, which shouldn’t really be a problem this week though.

I went for coffee and struggled through adding more blog entries before heading back home and lazily watching some videos and finally hopping into bed with all cats present. I quickly fell asleep but also quickly woke up again which surprised me. I was still tired but suddenly I was no longer sleepy.

I could feel myself getting grumpy during Amy’s calling at dinner time. She was a little emotional about missing our cats and was also a little drunk and talkative. She happily talked whilst I prepared my food and ate it and I’m glad I didn’t let my own emotions take over and cut our conversation short. I felt a little better by the time we said good night.

Something I learned today?

Apparently, cats get whisker stress if their food bowls are too deep and bend their whiskers whilst eating. I watched our cats eat this afternoon and our bowls are good for them. This was information in a video about things to do to keep your cats happy. We pretty much do them all and our cats exhibit the behaviour of happy cats.

What was the highlight of this week?

Undoubtedly it was walking up to Khun Korn waterfall and jumping into the water. This week has been relatively quiet so this was an easy choice.

I took this picture because Tigger is so happy in this house. He has so many spots he enjoys lying, sleeping or rolling around. Today I had to give him another shampoo clean to help with his skin problem and afterwards he went straight out into the sun but was already rolling around in the dust and leaves.

A Deer With No Eyes – 19th December 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

It was in the trees, in the air
Its meaning was never clear
Both here and over there
Sometimes hidden in fear
It was simple, it was strong
It would never disappear
Sometimes right and other times wrong
Especially after having a beer
Often spoken, sometimes just thought
It influences its sphere
Sometimes learned, sometimes taught
Or born right now and here
Never met a deer with no eyes
They always seem to appear
Born in imagination, in surprise
Boom! – an idea!

The universe is what it is, not what I choose that it should be.

Bertrand Russell

Today I’m feeling:
Content, relaxed
Today I’m grateful for:
The staff at the hospital that administered (paperwork and execution) Amy’s second rabies shot. Hopefully her wounds heal well and there are no repercussions.
The best thing about today was:
Today has been consistent and modestly good, from a bit of exercise, listening to an interesting podcast about the Slits, good coffees, a fun first class, taking Amy to the hospital, then lunch at Oasis, more good coffee, a fun second class, then to the movies to watch the second Avatar movie which, whilst not a great movie was better than I expected.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I had to run around for, and with, Amy a lot today and couldn’t spend my usual time writing and reading at House which I look forward to. Rather than feeling grudgful I tried to savour and did end up enjoying the whole day.
Something I learned today?
I mostly learned this last week whilst listening to Jello Biafra interview Dominic Davi on his Renegade Roundtable podcast, though I finished listening this morning. Dominic had had a stroke fairly recently and described the experience and aftereffects of it. I’d been thinking about it on and off over the weekend especially as I am now in the age demographic more likely to experience this. This morning I was reminded again about the BE FAST acronym. Balance, Eyes, Face and then the other things I forget but I reckon you’d recognise it with those at least. This is all well and good to assist someone else but I’d be worried if it was happening to me and I was by myself or unable to communicate with others around me as Dominic described. He was helped quickly be others recognising the signs. Well, this is useful knowledge at least though I hope it is knowledge that will go unused.
Describe something you learned from your mother.
I’ve written about this before but I think I learned patience, hard work, solitude and don’t-give-a-fuck-what-others-think attitude from my mum.

I took this picture because I gave my students in 1/7 a spelling test and with prep and repetition took about one and a half hours to complete but it was actually a lot of fun and I think the kids even found it a little amusing, some of them doing better than either they or I expected. This is also the only picture I took today!

Dib Dib Dib – 15th September 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

There’s a hard winter coming
Are you ready for the chill?
Stock up the cellars
Bring the herd down from the hill
Wrap yourself in the comforts
Of a trouble gladly shared
Tie the boats up to the shore
And hunker down prepared

I think I could stand anything, an suffering, only to be able to say and to repeat to myself every moment, ‘I exist.’

Dostoevsky

Today I’m grateful for:
Having the freedom, available space and time to be able to talk to students in my classes today in ones, twos and threes. It is entirely a better way for me to get a clearer idea of their abilities and also relieve their pressures around making mistakes. It’s not possible to do this all the time but I’m glad I decided to do it today.
The best thing about today was:
Just a general sense of well-being and contentment. Nothing stands out more than anything else.

I took this picture because it will remind me of the cheap delicious food at Oasis.

Where Go You, My Friend? – 25th February 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 12 Comments

I am not what I seem
I have masks to protect you from me
I stay alone in my house
And it will this way forever be

I am simply understood
Because I am a mirror in my ways
Yet you should not trust my deeds
Or my thoughts that reflect your plays

I hide from you my darkness
My skies of purple shadow
As you ascend yourself to Heaven
It’s down to Hell that I go

Your steps are taken with caution
Whilst my madness removes my care
There’s direction to your movement
But I feel it’s not going anywhere

My friend, you are not my friend
But how shall I make you understand?
My path is not your path
Yet together we walk hand in hand

Inspired by a Khalil Gibran parable, with the last four lines lifted word for word. I found this short parable very affecting and particularly relevant to my thoughts on friendship.

25th Mar 2024 – Submitted to WDYS with the above picture prompt

6th Sep 2024 – Submitted to Reena’s Xploration Challenge #346

Adopt the pace of nature: her secret is patience.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to Oasis restaurant for making yummy vegan food in Chiang Rai.

She’s Back – 27th September 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 2 Comments

I’ve had a long shower
And I’m snuggled up with a book
I can hear strange noises outside
But can’t be bothered to look

I’m about to fall asleep
The room is dark and black
That’s when the screaming starts
And when I know she’s back

She turns on all the lights
And dances around the room
Jumping up onto the bed
I hope she finishes soon

She makes me laugh and makes me mad
I’ll always love her to bits
But right now I need to sleep
And she’s really giving me the shits

Amy has turned much of our garden into a cactus oasis, not helped much by the long rainy season this year though. It was today I noticed that this delicate cactus was being held up by this tall ants nest, originally a stick in the ground. Ants will rule the world. They are also back in our kitchen building a small nest by the back door again.

Our neighbour’s dog, Tangmo, always enjoys coming to play but tends to go a bit nuts when he sees Kim Chi, who is usually behind a screen door inside her room. Today though, we’d just let her out when he decided to come visit and after a bit of chasing around the situation above occurred.

We worry that Tangmo could easily bite Kim Chi badly as he’s so much bigger and his barking and jumping around make her scared but usually, Kim will be the one chasing him away. Don’t fuck with our cats. Tangmo just seems to want to play but isn’t quite sure of the correct cat etiquette.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for LungChom and their delicious ice cream that I ate two bowls of last night in a state of overindulgence.

Feel good today after forcing myself to do my minimal daily exercise on the weekend (this morning is rest day so I did yoga instead). I also ate two bowls of ice cream last night – which were freaking delicious but perhaps a bit too much!

Oh stayed over last night, though I was in bed by then and didn’t see her this morning either. Amy is giving her a bread-baking tutorial. Amy also did a pre-order for her cinnamon buns and got inundated with requests, so much that she will be baking for three days instead of the planned one.

I listened to day 3 of the gratitude course this morning, which gave me two very important reminders. ‘I dismiss any thoughts that entertain feelings of comparison’ and ‘I embrace my journey because it is uniquely designed just for me.’ I think these constant habits of mine are slowly having the desired positive effect, though I am not particularly challenged these days, or at least I feel as if I’m not, which could also be because of these habits.

The semester is winding down now and I’m feeling pretty relaxed. I hope that students return next semester, as I don’t have anything else planned if we continue online and I also want to start my experiment with 2/9.

Last week I was getting a bit frustrated with my guitar playing but yesterday I got back into the flow, teaching me that it’s ok to relax, take a break if necessary and try again at another time. But it is not acceptable to give up.

I’m also working up the free time and courage to get back into learning the keyboard and music software and thinking about making songs again. I know I can do it but I’m also aware of what a time sink it will be.

Amy is still constantly frustrated with the situation in Thailand and I have to try and deflect or point out our positives so that it doesn’t get her too depressed. I am attempting to deal with the situation here stoically and I am happy to tell Amy that I am ok living anywhere in the world with her.

When she’s drunk, she will chide me with ‘you love it here, you can stay’ and whilst I wouldn’t say I love it here anymore than anywhere else, I am happily aware of how easy my life is compared to the UK and Australia. Even so, I will give it up if it makes Amy happier with herself and her situation.

The Week That Was – 26th August 1979

Start Again – 13th May 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 28 Comments

Looking back over poems I wrote in the past, I realise what a catharsis they provided and thought it a good idea to try and get back into the swing of it. I needed to make a small statement (and a trial).

Start Again

How long, how many years?
Pen on paper held no fears
Laziness, time, other things
The good and bad that it brings

So back to it, start again
New book and brand new pen
Conscious to make the time
To find that special word to rhyme

Throw emotions out in words
From realistic to absurd
My own form of meditation
To re-read all my own creation

9th Jan 2026 – Shared with Poets and Storytellers United #209

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to discover the Oasis vegetarian restaurant in the city. Dylan took me there yesterday. They have a wide range of delicious fake meat and vegetable dishes. I’ll keep going back if Amy doesn’t cook me lunch.

This morning, I got up a little earlier so that I could do my 5 minutes of exercise and start getting back into some good habits again, and I think it really helped set me up for a positive and happy day.

I’ve started sketching again when I go for my coffee and also want to start writing more poems too. The one I wrote today may be the first one I’ve written in, I don’t know, two decades or more! I used to look out for interesting phrases I would come across and use them as a basis. I came across a cool phrase today in some article I was reading and jotted it down. I hope to keep inspiring myself in different ways whenever I can.

Things are good today. George even looked me in the eye when he was talking to me today. Even that small change made me feel good.

I went to visit Bruno and Nut after lunch, and we talked mostly about his garden exploits – he’s really into it, which is cool – it’s great to see his enthusiasm for it. It inspires me in that direction, too, but I am still a little lazy when I get home from work. Or, more accurately, I prioritise other things instead.