In the raw, you leave A bitter tingle on the lips A dusty drift in the air Dry to the connoisseur’s nose
To grip the sweat of flesh Where the cups of coffee sit Hard knocks on wood Built for many winters
All the ale spilled over And never a complaint Stoic and solid, ever-steady Dampened with a cloth
How is it that your shade Perfectly matches your function? When your name is spoken Your colour is revealed
Sealed with a scent A low release of forest Antique aching legs Of stale cigars, whiskey and work
Write a poem about an object in five stanzas using sight, sound, smell, taste, and touch – in any order. What is it? This was a tough write and I don’t know if people can understand what the object is!
Today I’m feeling:
Pretty good despite almost swearing when my alarm went off. I got up and at it though and now, about two hours later, I’m wondering if I can increase my exercise time a little in the morning. Seems like I’ve already forgotten about how tired I am by Fridays and thinking of pushing it further now it’s Monday!
(10 pm) So tired now that I’m no longer contemplating pushing myself so much!
Today I’m grateful for:
The students in the sick room who bandaged up my fingers whilst taking pictures to show that they were working when required. Fixing the bleeding farang teacher is good optics.
The best thing about today was:
My first class, 3 hours with grade 12s was relaxing and fun. I didn’t push them too much and tried to keep everyone engaged as best as I could. I was quite impressed with their English skills and with their confidence to at least try their best.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Tokyo finally got me today and it was my own fault.
Usually, when I’m leaving House I don’t disturb her as she is sleeping, yet eyeing what is going on but today she was on her side and raised her paw for a belly rub.
If I had come round to her side maybe everything would be ok but I tried leaning over the bench which left my hand hovering over her until I got my balance to sit down. I know that she feels threatened by this and sure enough, she snapped her jaw around my fingers and me trying to pull away left a big gash on the inside of my forefinger and knuckle of my ring finger.
Weirdly, it didn’t hurt that much, though I knew I should be feeling pain. Due to the location of the wounds, they soon started dripping blood. Gui’s mum got out the medicine kit that they have to keep handy for these situations and I quickly cleaned up before heading back to school.
I got the cuts band-aided at the sick room and went off to class.
Something I learned today?
Praewa complained about her boyfriend, my grade 8 student Ten, smoking too much marijuana! I was not at all surprised to hear this.
She has been very unhappy since she met him and I don’t understand what his appeal is. Bad boy appeal maybe? All her friends keep telling her to dump him and she keeps threatening to.
Ten is immature and doesn’t have any parental guidance at home, living with his grandmother and his younger sister.
I’d be happy if I never heard his name again and I usually like the ‘bad’ kids.
What three words describe today?
Interesting Inspiring Tiring
Amy took this picture just before fixing up the support for the nest with an old shirt. Things were getting precarious there.
Egged out, we must survive Enthusiastic push to thrive Finally, no one gets out alive That’s the way we all go
Early birds catch the worms The voice inside us turns In turn, the worm learns That that’s the way we all go
One day, in a different way Here tomorrow, gone today Even the early bird will say That’s the way we all go
Paraphrased and plagiarised (in the nicest possible way) from various majestic Cardiacs songs. Submitted to Ovi Poetry Challenge 47
Today I’m feeling:
Good again though that 6 am alarm was tough. It had to be done though. My leg workout was too much, supposed to be 3 x 64 reps of lunges but I could only manage 40 by which time my skinny thigh muscles wanted to explode. But 40 is better than none.
Today I’m grateful for:
Matt, who kindly donated me some magic mushroom capsules as he tried them but didn’t enjoy the experience.
The best thing about today was:
Enjoying a whole day out of home even though I could’ve just gone to school, signed in and come home again. I had planned to do this anyway but it was made even more desirable because when I was leaving this morning Auntie Sue told me that the electricity would be off today as they are moving the lines to the new poles. Great – no reason to come home early.
After signing in I spent the morning reading and writing at House whilst enjoying three coffees and even getting another lesson done for the classes on Presentations.
After that, I dropped by Central to buy a gift for Funfai as it is her birthday today and she told me she would be playing tennis at 4 pm. I got her a notebook, pencil case and pen. I also got the same for Anchan.
For the afternoon I went to see Matt as planned and we talked for a couple of hours catching up on each other’s lives. He also showed me his guitar setup and pedals, all of which sound fantastic but not within my price range or even within my time limitations for being feasible.
I left at around 4 pm to head to the tennis courts though I could see in the distance very dark clouds and the wind started picking up dramatically. Baipad messaged me that it was storming in our village as, after cancelling bike riding yesterday due to a storm, we had rearranged for today at 5 pm.
I got to the tennis courts and there weren’t many people around and the wind was already making it difficult for those there. No sign of Funfai so I messaged her and she told me that her lesson had been cancelled. Ah well, no worries. I used the opportunity to go and clock out of school which I haven’t bothered to do so far this week.
As I drove back home it started to rain though nothing storm-like. It had already blown through by the looks of things. I figured Baipad wouldn’t want to ride and a wet road would have made it more difficult for her too, so I thought I’d drop by and see if I could chat with her a little more in-depth.
As I passed by our soi it was still blocked with electricity people running around so I assumed the power was still off at home too. Amy also called and said that she couldn’t get home earlier when she tried as the road was blocked then too.
So I hung out at Baipad’s for an hour and did get her to open up a little more and whilst not confronting any of her issues, started to get her to think about them a bit more.
She feels comfortable to talk with me though she still lacks the maturity to know how to express herself. I can report though that she is not happy with herself and does want to change, she just doesn’t know how and I can feel that her mum doesn’t know how to teach or show her either. Her mum obviously has her own struggles.
Anyway, I’ll try my best to support, motivate and teach her some skills that can bring up her confidence. It’s all valuable reminders for me too.
I came home around 6 pm and it has been raining most of the time since, 3 hours now, with a comfortable temperature again, which I, and most probably everyone, is grateful for.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I got my new teaching schedule today. It has changed a little bit from what I was expecting, with me being given 24 hours instead of the 22 that the other teachers get. I’m not going to complain though.
I like being in the classroom, with the kids so another couple of hours is fine and it might also encourage me to stay each day and sign out like they want me to!
After arriving home I found that our internet wasn’t working, probably due to the work going on with the poles in our soi. I hope that our provider knows about this work, but I can also easily imagine that they don’t. At least I can still hotspot and connect with my phone tonight and we’ll be out most of the day tomorrow.
Something I learned today?
Both Jet and Praewa sent me messages today because they got their study schedules and they were upset that I won’t be teaching them this year.
Did you do something difficult or challenging today?
Any of the minor challenges that I’ve mentioned above didn’t feel that difficult at all (except the lunges) and my state of mind was good enough to accept everything as it came.
I took this picture of the Utopia FB post and sent it to Noey. She wanted to know where I was because she hadn’t seen me today. I should be there on Sunday though.
What kind of artist were you when you were young?
When I was about 5 or 6 I always got told off for drawing castles instead of writing. I tried to compromise by writing something that allowed me to also draw a castle!
In my teens, I got deep into punk iconology, cut-up style and sloganeering. I made many posters like this, including a huge one that I submitted for an art assignment. I also painted a picture of a faceless punk in a three-piece suit, crucified on a cross.
My forays into the artistic world ended up more around words but also into producing booklets, fanzines and posters. I don’t have the creative drive anymore to do this, perhaps hampered by a lack of time due to other endeavours such as writing.
Did you paint, colour with crayons, build things with blocks?
Painting and colouring yes but I had an aversion to building things. Other kids had Meccano but I could never figure out what to make with it. Similarly, with Lego, it seemed like too much effort to make a shitty version of a house or something like that. My imagination didn’t run in that direction.
What kind of creative acts did you enjoy?
When the punk ideology hit, the ‘anyone can do it’ attitude, I wanted desperately to be the singer in a band and so set about writing lyrics. This was from about aged 11.
A little later this also turned into writing brief poetic thoughts of which I was constantly churning out.
I always enjoyed doing that though somewhere along the way in my 20s, I stopped writing those until I started again in 2020 when I remembered how much I enjoyed it and got back to doing it again.
When did you write your first poem?
I guess it would have been in 1984 when I was 15 or 16 though I probably had some before that, written for an English class. The earliest things that I held onto were from 1984.
What was it about?
Poems from that time were about petty thoughts and trivialities of a schoolboy’s life. It turned serious though as depression sunk in and the future looked bleak. Back then though I could write about any little thing that sparked my interest. It was fun.
How did you come to poetry?
As described above, through writing lyrics. I still consider what I write mostly as being lyrics rather than poetry.
A little rundown. I slept a little earlier than usual and when Tigger woke us up at 5am, crying with the sunlight, I reset my alarm to skip my exercise.
When I woke I was still sleepy and soon realised I had stuffy nose and a little sore throat. I think it is from the air pollution but I’m hoping it doesn’t turn into a cold.
I think the air pollution is also contributing to the tiredness as it perhaps inhibits enough oxygen intake and though not noticeable as the day goes by it could be having that effect.
Today I’m grateful for:
The little story I wrote below about Ozone and friends.
The best thing about today was:
The good mood of the students that were at school and then the four hour break I was able to take between classes to do some reading, writing, studying and thinking.
Something I learned today?
Whilst watching the video yesterday about RipX DAW there was mention of AI music makers so I’m giving one a go right now, Suno.ai.
The ‘punk’ option is generic pop punk which I could guess at. Trying to see if I can get anything weird out of it next.
Hmm – nope. But I don’t think that is all the fault of the AI but me not knowing how to use the prompt correctly to get what I want.
I may try again later. I also may not….
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
BB ran up to me this morning saying ‘Help me, help me’ and she pulled down her mask to show half an earring sticking out from her nose! She wanted me to push it in for her!
I gave it a little push but couldn’t stand to think that I was causing her pain so told her to keep trying by herself. I tried to find a needle for her later but to no avail.
She eventually gave up and decided to go to the shop to get it done. Probably for the best!
Monkey girl Sarah was playing with Ozone’s wallet so I held out my hand and Sarah gave me all the notes folded up in there. Then she unzipped the coin section and I held my hand again and she handed me all the coins. Ozone was watching all this but didn’t complain too much, until I left with all her money in my pocket.
I went back to my classroom and Sarah appeared a couple of minutes later trying to get the money back but I sat down and held my hands over my pockets. They begged and tickled and fought with me but I wouldn’t give the money back. Eventually I agreed to go back and hand the money back to Ozone directly.
She was sitting in her classroom talking with her friend and I jokingly told her that I already gave the money to Sarah. Sarah screamed that I was lying and we all laughed as I pulled out the money and handed it back.
Afterwards, I was thinking about this little game and realised that Ozone, Sarah and all feel that they can trust me. They know that it is just a game and that everything will turn out right.
Sarah took this picture yesterday and this is another monkey in her class, Praewa. Praewa came to my grade 7 class today to be with her boyfriend and it occurred to me that KanomBang from that class is a younger version of Praewa. She is a little more restrained but playful in a fun way and comfortable to play with me.
My lower back is sore from sitting in the cinema for three hours and this morning a bit of tooth, or porcelain (I don’t know what is mine anymore) broke off whilst eating yoghurt and has left it very sensitive.
I have an appointment on Thursday anyway so hopefully I can hold on until then.
Today I’m grateful for:
The positive feedback that I’m getting on some of my poetry. I’m also grateful to have found many prompt pages and ideas around poetry forms which I’m enjoying trying out.
The best thing about today was:
Watching a group of various students, some of whom I knew, bonding together as there are few students around this week. They were bonding by playing truth or dare and a drinking game, though with an assortment of soft drinks, of course.
Still, it is obvious to me where that idea will lead. What can I say, that’s what we all did at that age. You live and learn, hopefully without anything untoward happening.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
It was a little annoying that all my first class turned up in the classroom this morning which meant I had to stay around for a while and babysit them, though I took time to visit the other classrooms too.
All of them were lazily playing on their phones or making up their own ideas of fun.
I managed to get out about 30 minutes early at least.
Something I learned today?
Britain mocked France and Egypt when they were building the Suez Canal until they realised what a benefit it was for them to be able to get to India two months quicker than previously, in case there was another uprising there.
When Egypt soon came unstuck and wanted to sell its share in the canal, Britain eagerly snapped it up.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
I offered some emotional support to Praew who has become slightly isolated in her class recently.
Also to Kwang who told me that her mum, who is in Bangkok somewhere, has blocked her phone calls. I don’t think there is any animosity in it but it must suck to know that your mum is too occupied with other things to take your calls.
I took the motorbike for a little ride, sticking in some petrol and charging up the battery a little for Amy as she wanted to go to the market tonight but hasn’t been able to use the bike since it needing to be kick-started on its back stand. She’s too little to pull the bike up onto it though I reckon she could if she really needed to.
What is one thing I want to learn more about?
I’m watching a video about RipX DAW and reminded that I still need to learn more about using a DAW, particularly the one I already paid for (Ableton Live – which has been so long since I tried it that I had to look up what it was called!) and bought a midi keyboard to use with it.
I’m really interested to do it but can see that it involves a lot of time investment that I don’t really have enough of at the moment.
Sarah took this picture of Ozone because she stole my phone out of my pocket as Praewa dragged me off to dance on the other side of the room. As she filled up my phone with pictures I only found three worth saving at the end of the day.
Here the shadow falls, down into the fog Eyes dead at the singing of the bells Broke by the vicious cards dealt Crawling through the sawdust of these hells
Burying bodies, ten-a-penny Stuffed men once filled with straw All now quiet and meaningless Wondering what it was all for
This is the way the world ends Not with a bang but a whimper It never would have come to this If we’d just kept things simpler
Submitted to Shay’s Word Garden – inspired (and borrowed) from T.S.Eliot’s The Hollow Men
Today I’m feeling:
Good, getting better throughout the day. I started off a little dizzy until my meds kicked in.
Both my classes were simple and the kids seem invested in a little reading and understanding. I didn’t push them but the way I structured the reading and questions definitely caught out some of the students who would generally just copy their work.
Today I’m grateful for:
Parthiban in Singapore for paying back his share for the HighVoltage/SpeechOdd 12”, straight back into our Aussie bank account, which will keep Amy happy for a little while!
The best thing about today was:
Being inspired to write a couple of poems during my break between classes. That two hours flew by today as I caught up some reading, thinking about prompts and ideas.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
In my first class we ran out of time for the last group to read because they were all struggling to understand the questions that I was asking them.
I was surprised at how quickly the time disappeared. Oh well, at least I caught about 85% of the class today.
Something I learned today?
Arwith’s band Piri Reis is supporting Converge in Bangkok in May. He’s going to try and line up a weekend show in Chiang Mai if possible too.
Either way I’d like to catch up with him if he’s here somewhere during a weekend.
What things do I like to collect?
I’ve answered this or a similar question before, answering with music, books, comics but it got me thinking a bit more about how technology has transformed collecting in many ways.
With almost everything available somewhere somehow as a digital file collecting physical items is becoming more of a rich person’s privilege.
Collecting things digitally doesn’t mean much to me but from seeing what some of the younger folks are experimenting with online in games they seem to place value in those things.
I was intrigued whilst watching an online race over three hundred kilometres on a barren planet in one of the sci-fi games where folks collect and trade minerals.
I can understand the appeal of these types of games and there may have been a time I might of dreamed of delving into them but I still have some part of me that clings to the physical.
Unlike those players though I cannot place any value in something that only exists as bits and bytes.
Praewa took this picture because she stole my phone (again). Her face is finally starting to mature as she has had a cute childish face since I’ve known her and it has only recently started changing. She still hasn’t grown taller though which I often tease her about but she could still grow a few more inches yet.
I lay down and try to breathe Because I can’t feel my wings Why did I wake up this way? Am I paying for my sins? What’s the cost to going mad? I’m hollowed out inside I want this curse lifted off me I want my wings, I want to fly It’s been a long time Being, a long time
Quite relaxed and happy. I was excited to go for a little bike ride, my psyche somehow understanding that I needed to be out in nature, getting some Vitamin D and picking up the green light reflections of the fields and jungle.
Today I’m grateful for:
My old student Praewa. A couple of weeks ago she posted a picture from outside her house and I recognised it as a place not that far from where I live. As I had planned for a bike ride this morning I figured I would head out in that direction towards the river, east from home, and drop in and say hello on the way.
When I messaged her though she said she wasn’t home but to come and find her where she was. She sent me a map and it wasn’t far away from where I was heading anyway so I figured why not.
I found out that they have a grocery shop at their house and there was some kind of fun sporting event for kids going on and Praewa’s mum had set up a stall to sell refreshments.
When I got there I finally found them and it seemed like the whole family was there – mum, brother, auntie, grandmum and great grandmum! I declined the offer of a beer, it was still before noon, though that didn’t stop Praewa’s mum from starting already!
I had a look around and in another stall, two students yelled out my name. I don’t teach them but I recognised them from saying hello around school. Then I spotted another student I know who was partaking in the event on the track. She is always friendly when I see her but usually not excited or showing too much emotion but today she was laughing a lot as the race they were doing was a team event where the first in line had to pull on a big pair of baggy knickers over their clothes, run up the track and back and then swap the knickers with the next in line.
Her team won and they were happy. When I went to say hello she was very surprised to see me there. I congratulated her team.
The next thing I knew, Momo was walking past with some snacks. I caught up with her and met her mum. I asked Momo why she wasn’t competing and she said she didn’t want to be there but her mum forced her to come.
Finally, Cream came and joined Praewa and they took off to the bouncy castle slide. They are still 14 or 15 years old but I don’t think either of them is even 5ft tall so they can still get away with playing on such things. I bid everyone farewell and thankfully my bike started ok and I rode off around the place feeling happy to see what some of my students get up to outside of school and grateful that Praewa invited me to come.
The best thing about today was:
Riding to newer parts of the valley with a deep blue sky directly overhead (not so much on the horizons) and waterlogged paddies reflecting that, dotted with bright young green rice stems. I took a moment to savour it all.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I planned for a bike ride this morning after coffee but the bike isn’t starting. I’m sitting here in the sun for a minute hoping that it will warm up the bike and that it might magically start. Otherwise, it means wheeling it to the shop which is manageable but not what I’d planned for. Any costs to fix it are going to be painful too.
Thankfully, I finally managed to kickstart it and let it run for ten minutes before heading out.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
I reminded myself to message Ploy to ask how she did on her test today. She said she felt confident which I’m glad about.
I took this picture because this young corn was so green. I’ve enjoyed running through cornfields, back in England, during the summer there, alongside the river Stour. It felt like a strange freedom, hidden from view in a minor trespass.
Run down and sick. I slept through most of yesterday and last night and feel like sleeping more. My sore throat has transformed to a sexy voice as my nose starts running causing me to cough and hack up phlegm. To top it all, I forced myself to eat this morning and more of my busted booth came loose. Really have to get back to the dentist soon. Needless to say, I’m not at school. I should go to the hospital but not looking forward to sitting around for a couple of hours just to get prescribed medicine I can get at the pharmacy.
Today I’m grateful for:
The staff at the hospital that made everything relatively smooth and pain-free. Just a bit of waiting around. A bunch of meds were prescribed all for 200 baht, about 8 Aussie bucks. I don’t not know how much the meds had to do with it but I started feeling a little better after getting back from the hospital.
The best thing about today was:
Still working a little with my students in the afternoon while waiting at the hospital. The work I give to my grade 8s is simple and repetitive just with a different text each week so I don’t actually need to even be there with them. Still, about ten students skipped doing anything, which is a shame.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I went out to Utopia and grabbed coffee but the bike wouldn’t start after and I had to wheel it down the road in the scorching heat, adding to my already-addled brain. After the guy in the shop got it running again I decided just to buy some medicine and go home and rest. Amy came back an hour or so later and berated me for not going to the hospital so here I am, already told it’s at least a one-hour wait. I’m handling it by sniffing, coughing and wondering if I’ll even be well enough to go to school tomorrow.
Something I learned today?
Thailand is introducing a Clean Air Act but has no real solutions to stop the yearly burning by farmers. Just ideas and suggestions. There is support online behind a 28-year-old doctor who is about to die from lung cancer but I can’t imagine anyone in government is going to do anything seriously to stop this annual event that is due to be worse and for longer this year.
What new hobby would I like to try?
It’s not new I guess but I really need to get on and make some music with the equipment I have. The problem is that I would have to drop some of the other things that I already like doing with my time.
No new pictures today so this is from last week. Kam, Amy and Praewa tiktokking for me.
We still have to teach the Gods to be human They should bend to our will, not us to theirs First, we have to understand ourselves And an idea of heaven that everyone shares
Today I’m feeling:
I didn’t sleep well but felt ok at my alarm. Two hours into the day though and I’m feeling a little low and flat. My eyes are sore again and the cloudy grey skies feel depressing.
Last night Paen (Baitoey) contacted me again feeling depressed and suicidal. I don’t know how much more I can give her. I know she doesn’t have the skills but it seems like she doesn’t want to do the hard work and is always looking for the easy way out. She needs some guidance to turn her thinking around and I’m not the best person for that.
Her struggles weigh me down too.
Today I’m grateful for:
Payment coming through today as I was just about to run out of money. It meant I could pay the gardener who came today and can also order some more cat food now too. I still have money put aside for the aircon fix and hopefully enough spare for the plumbing fixes. Not sure if there will be enough for the guttering though.
The best thing about today was:
Many interesting conversations with my students outside of class. They usually remind me about things I went through when I was their age.
Also, Champ was back from Australia for a quick visit and he was telling me that he had to do some part-time work to be able to afford to stay there whilst studying. He’s working at a school teaching grade 5 kids. He was comparing the difference between the education systems in Oz and in Thailand and that he now has a clearer understanding of us farang teachers when we work here and get frustrated at the way things work. I’ve adapted myself now but it does feel like a little vindication.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
When I got home I could see that the gardeners had been. I’m thankful to them for tidying up our home but also can’t help noticing what a bad job they are doing. After asking them to clear the weeds properly along the driveway last time, this time they made no attempt at all. Worse still was that they cut the avocado tree that Bruno gave me last year, cut at the trunk! It was just starting to grow well and looked like it would develop into a nice-looking young tree. Fucking careless.
Something I learned today?
The great Chinese spy balloon incident is over. The US admitted that they found no evidence of anything beyond the weather instrumentation that the Chinese told them it was. The US is in the hands of adults acting like 5-year-olds.
How did I practice kindness?
Today I sat down with Paen and listened to her grievances about her life and what help she would like me to give her. She actually didn’t say much, I did most of the talking. I challenged her a lot because I can see that she is just running away from the real issue which is her own self-esteem, insecurities and problems at home. I can see that the things she wants me to help her with are not long-term solutions.
I have shown her a lot of kindness and tried to help her many times. I can’t fix what happens in her head but I will support her as best I can.
I also ran into Preawa during the day and she was having some kind of problem with her boyfriend who was following her around forlornly. I messaged her this evening to see if she was ok and she said she was and appreciated my concern.
I think one of the reasons that the kids like me is that the can feel my empathy towards them even as I might be berating them for being lazy. I may not be the best teacher in the world but I think I’m a pretty good human.
What do I want to focus on today?
It looks like I will have to focus some time on helping Paen to see if she can change programs back to English. I see this as a band-aid solution for her because the problems are coming from within herself. I’ll try and find her the school counsellor and also find out why she stopped taking her meds. She seemed to be doing well in the first couple of weeks of the new semester.
I took this picture at the weekend because I’m loving seeing the freshly planted rice paddies. Is this a Thai spring?
What is it? What is that? It seems like an oversized cat Sniffing and lurching as a pet And yet….
Fear arose at eyes meeting Ears pound with heart beating Comes the rush of approach I lay down my body, defeating Please! No eating!
A sniff, a purr, a tentative pat Mutual understanding of where we’re at A roll and a push, off excited I too, soon alighted
Whisper at your feral fears Into the eyes, through the tears Roll over as if to submit Here where the big cats sit
inspired by a dream of meeting an unknown type of big cat in a park
Today I’m feeling:
Happy, relaxed, maybe even bored!
Today I’m grateful for:
Febreeze and its feeble attempts at masking the still-rank cat pee smell on my mattress. It’s doing its best.
The best thing about today was:
Testing out the Quizizz lesson I put together yesterday with Ploy and Praewa. They enjoyed it and I learned a few things from practising it with them. I need to add a little more detail and tweak a few things.
However, the concept may be good but I think the level is too high for my M1 classes. I will look for easier lessons to put together in the same way over the holidays.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Still dark, lost in a dream world, a thud and a scream sit me bolt upright as Cap and Tigger, a ball of furry yin and yang roll over me, their combined weight slamming down at my hip.
I grab the darker fury but cannot pull them apart, interlocked they are in a vicious grip. A second pull and a broken claw embeds itself in my finger and finally, they are separated and I fling the fuming ball across the bed but this doesn’t stop them and they reassume attack positions in the living room.
Good morning, Shaun, it’s a lovely day though there’s no daylight apparent.
Finally, the fighters back down and I return to my soft bed hot and awake. I check the time. 4 minutes until my alarm. I get up and shake the doona back into place and clumps of fur float through the still air.
Ok, let’s go.
Something I learned today?
Some private chats with a couple of my students helped me to learn a little more about their situations. With there being no classes and fewer kids around school everyone is a little more relaxed and open these last few days.
What is my favourite memory from childhood?
I’m going to say it was the common spirit we village kids had.
Forced together by location we went through all the usual ups and downs a group of teenagers would. Being out in the sticks with little street lighting, we entertained ourselves with endless hours of mischief, fire and explosions.
There’s not one specific memory that stands out but as I bring those thoughts to mind many more flood back and the joy of that childhood camaraderie remains special to me.
I took this picture because I was lazily reading in my hammock when these neighbours’ kids appeared and started blah blah blahing in Thai at me. They usually come in around this time every day adding our garden as part of their playground. If I’m watering I’ll spray them to hear their screams and laughter.
It’s a crowded room full of screaming And I’m feeling out of control I wish I was only bad-dreaming As I’m sinking into this hole
I gotta leave here quick Or something’s gonna blow Not sure what’ll do the trick I don’t know, I don’t know
Temperature rising to the max Smoke coming out my ears Gotta face up to the facts Or it’s gonna end in tears
Ran myself out the door Before I got to blow I can’t do this anymore I know, I know
How you confront difficulties with determine your fate.
Robert Greene, Daily Laws
Today I’m feeling: Happy and satisfied Today I’m grateful for: Working for most of the day. Some days I’m happy to only have two classes (4 hours) and can relax and then sometimes on days like this with three classes (6 hours) I can feel happy and achieving something too. It helped that I’d planned well and that the students were in pretty good moods. The best thing about today was: Taking time to be one on one with some of the poorer or quieter students in my last class and seeing them start to understand more about what I’m asking them to do. It’s a little frustrating that some students get left behind in the melee of the full class especially when they can do the work if they take the time to understand. The pull of the crowd is strong though. Daily thought Do you have any hopes or fears? I do but I don’t put much stock in them. For instance, I hope Amy can come back here and find some happiness and something to occupy her time effectively and I have some fear of packing up and moving back to Australia (fear of the logistics and effort) but at the same time I know that whatever happens everything will be ok. So I would downgrade fear and hope to preferences. What do you think of the idea of living forever? Just about everyone ponders this idea at one time or another. I first did after watching the first Highlander film or reading The Sandman and was quite into the idea. I once thought aloud that I would live to 300 which seems a little more reasonable. But to live forever means to live beyond the existence of the universe and forever would not just be a long time but would make our universe’s existence like just a pinprick in time. That does not seem amusing. Perhaps the joy of our lives is knowing that they will not last and why I enjoy the excitement and wonder of my students with whom I can still share in their dreams. I hope they can all find some satisfaction in their own lives.
Praewa took this picture because we were having fun in the classroom today and I was pretending to be angry. It’s funny to see this because I guess this is what I must look like sometimes when I am actually angry. Even my ‘bad’, ‘difficult’, and ‘annoying’ students were ok today.Fatman report
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