When the beat of the drum becomes a banging and frontlines full of dead men left hanging, let’s raise white flags, redraw maps and decide unstable future’s by inequitable divide
Wheels forever turn Bloods boil and burn Guns forever bang Repeat sturm und drang
How can you ever let me down? We’re not made to be broken Just like fools, we left so much unspoken Now the future is a past that’s come back around We were made to be broken How could you ever let me down?
Not bad once I got going, it was a struggle to get up this morning and my right shoulder was a little achy from using the new silica scrubs I ordered from Temu in the shower last night. For some reason, I had a sudden urge to clean.
Amy came with me this morning as she had some things to do in the city and she’ll pick me up again at 2.30 for my only day of the week to be able to get home a little early.
Health:
Physical: 7 Mental: 8
Today I’m grateful for:
My old students, Ploy and Ozone, playfully begging me to teach them again. I’m not sure exactly what brought this on for them but it made me feel good.
I wish I could teach everyone who begs to be taught!
The best thing about today was:
Listening to my grade 8s attempting to read a reasonably difficult passage of text and doing way better than I expected.
They are no longer afraid to try and to fail or get things wrong. Though some still need to be pushed to work because they are not really interested, I can see that they do have the capabilities if they so desired. Unfortunately, they are too busy with distractions most of the time.
Something I learned today?
Today I learned something that has left me a little stunned.
When Amy picked me up, she told me that she had gone to Nut’s house to have lunch with her and Bee, as Bee was visiting the psych at MFU.
Bee then told the whole story about her and George and it is fucking amazing!
Firstly, Bee moved out of their house about 3 years ago and they have been separate ever since! All this time, we have been saying that George was holding her back and that she was stupid to stay and she had actually already left.
This got me thinking about why she never said anything before and it turns out that George is still trying to influence her and to keep things secret from other people.
And that’s just the tip of the iceberg. We were all shocked to know that they were actually married! Neither of them had ever told any one of us so-called friends about this.
And why did she leave? She finally had enough of his vicious manipulation and control and had to get away from him. She said that he is totally self-absorbed and selfish. He has no friends and only cares about himself.
Well, those things I had figured out for myself and now I feel completely validated. He is indeed the dark empath, the smiling narcissist.
Bee said that he talks badly about everybody behind their backs. This is also a reminder for me to try and not to do the same thing but this one is going to be difficult, as I would love to put him in his place. I’d like to wipe that smirking smile off his face!
Interesting that Kru Mai said George no longer talks with him in the teachers’ room but that George has told others that it is Kru Mai who no longer talks to him!
My mind is blown by all these revelations and it makes me feel more confident in myself. All those times he tried to manipulate and control me, too and got upset when I refused to comply – it’s all making sense and falling into place.
I should never have doubted myself. I realise now that on quite a few occasions in my past, I have been a very good judge of character.
I learned a lot about myself today and that’s great!
Review your acts, Good and bad.
I bought an inspirational poster online and put it up in one of my classrooms today. I will refer to it at different times during my lessons.
I took this picture because today is Halloween and crazy little Winter wore this to school. He is fucking hilarious!
A little underwhelmed, though everything has been just fine.
I think this is my third day on half a sertraline, and I haven’t had tramadol for a couple of days, too. I’m trying to get by just on kratom and see how it goes.
My butt was sore yesterday from too much sitting and my neck is sore today from not sleeping in the best position last night.
Health:
Physical: 7 Mental: 7
Today I’m grateful for:
Discovering an old letter from Roger Miller of Mission of Burma! I don’t remember ever writing to them! I have some treasures hidden in my piles of old stuff and looking forward to rediscovering them!
The best thing about today was:
Getting up when I couldn’t stop my brain spinning, as I was drifting into an afternoon nap. It forced me to get up and go look for some photos in my room and then get distracted whilst there and finish off another book of poem updates that had me thinking hard to figure out when they were written and who/what they were about.
In the process of doing that, I found a few other things that were interesting and that I will add to the blog over the weekend.
I am a little conscious of the fact that I am spending a lot of time going back over my past and not generating any particularly memorable moments right now! But I feel ok with that at the moment. I’ll get bored at some point and go and do something else for a while, I’m sure.
Something I learned today?
Amy was telling me why she liked a particular Thai TV show at the moment, because the presenter is standing against injustices carried out by monks. This is very unusual, she said. It gives me hope that Thailand is slowly changing and hope that Amy will be a little bit more positive towards her country.
Review your acts, Good and bad.
In reading through other people’s poetry, I tried to find something positive to say wherever I could.
I took this picture because these two flowers look like buttons to be pushed, but best not to!
Good again, though I still have a sticky throat. I’m back at the ENT at Sriburin hospital. Let’s see what they say this time.
No big plans for today. Hope to read, write, play guitar and listen to music when I get home again.
Health:
Physical: 7 Mental: 7
Today I’m grateful for:
Everyone at the hospital again. A quite quick turnaround with the result of getting some different medicines.
They shoved the camera in my mouth again and things looked better than last time. Though, because it doesn’t feel any better, it means the sticky phlegm is below the voice box and isn’t visible now.
The best thing about today was:
Not worrying about too much of anything. Although I got out of the hospital by 11 and picked up Amy from her eyelash shop, we then had to go to a couple of banks to transfer a wad of cash and they were both very busy.
Then, stopping off for some food for lunch, it ended up being 2 pm by the time we got back, so I didn’t get much reading in or go out to my room to play guitar.
But that’s ok. I’m feel fine with it.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
When we woke up this morning, Amy came back from the kitchen and said that the baby cow had been stuck in the garden all night last night!
I went and said hello. He’s not afraid of me now and I walked him to near the gate where he stopped to pee. When I opened the gate, Tangmo ran in and was bemused to see the cow there and started barking and running around. I told him to calm down and he started marking territory. He’s so jealous of anyone and anything being around us! The cow chased him a bit and I went back inside for a shower.
I didn’t want to lead the cow out because I couldn’t see his mum nearby and didn’t want him to go wandering off. At least he’s safe in our garden.
When I came out again, the cowman came by and called the baby over and Tangmo went off, too, maybe to make sure that he left.
Something I learned today?
I watched a video about a video game that made me laugh a lot. It is called Squirrel With a Gun and it looked hilarious.
Review your acts, Good and bad.
I got Noey to talk with Amy this morning about opportunities for her to go to Australia next year.
I offered to take Baipad to practice riding the motorbike some more too. She’s not thrilled because she is lazy and still lacks confidence. I will try to keep pushing her through her defences.
A little tired and still with a croaky throat. I don’t feel as sick as I did at the beginning of the week, though. I didn’t sleep so well as my hips were aching again. If it’s not my neck, then it’s my hips!
Maybe I’ve been lying down too much this week, though and need to get back to moving again.
Health:
Physical: 7 Mental: 7
Today I’m grateful for:
Receiving some of the things I ordered online today. Cat food, granola and kratom.
The best thing about today was:
I was happy to find out today that Amy’s health check turned out well. I should get mine done, too; they have a special price deal until the end of the year.
Also for receiving an overseas vinyl order, plus possible distro to Germany and Japan. I need to get back into my room and packing stuff to ship.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
The plan was to go to Big C after running Amy around at the hospital so that I could get some more Duocets at the pharmacy there, but the doctor wasn’t due there for another three hours.
They told me that he’ll be there all day tomorrow, though, so at least I can pick them up then. I’m down to the last one.
Something I learned today?
Big C is stocking the yoghurt I like now, so if Makro runs out, I can try there too.
I took this picture because these seed pods are pretty unusual to me and stood out in the driveway.
1994ever 