Another attempt at dVerse Quadrille #224 – quiet, this time inspired by a couple of other existing entries, one from Punam, whose line I reversed in the third stanza and one from Lona, who introduced the Divided Quadrille and so I thought I’d give it a crack!
Are you receiving My vibrations, Detecting these Oscillations?
I’ve got a message for you That you’re gonna wanna hear Are you receiving me Loud and clear?
Signals in space Time has come A human race Together as one
I’ve got a message for you You’d better be ready There’s only growing up To keep the ship steady
Are you receiving These modulations? Mind control Manipulations
Message understood You’d better tell everyone That you’re ready For what will come
Inspired by the main story of the Three Body Problem and an allegory for a student of mine who is struggling to grow up to face the future. Submitted to Writer’s Workshop Prompts – radio and NaPoMo.
Today I’m feeling:
Pretty healthy and active. Amy was out last night with Takky, Hangy and Berm so I had some free time to read, write and watch TV. And it appears to be more of the same tonight too. I want to be productive.
As I jumped into bed last night I caught this thought as I was opening up Telegram to get the latest reports from Rise of the Global South. ‘I read just enough tragic news that the axis of evil inflicts on people around the world to go to sleep with just the right amount of indignation.’
This month usually sees me making some adaptations to things that I do. I deleted a whole bunch of Substack subscriptions. One, because there are other things I want to do with my time and two, I’m sick of reading so much about the dysfunction and lies from and about the USA. It seems like inconsequential news to me these days. It is all so negative and decisive too. It’s not a good impact on the psyche.
I want to focus more on Asia and China as it is more relevant to my location and news is mostly just that – news. No opinions, no vague nonsense masquerading as news. And I also want to avoid news that is constantly comparing the USA and China. It’s kinda moot these days.
Today I’m grateful for:
A quiet day of few plans, all achieved.
The best thing about today was:
Spending some time dinking around in my room, trying to organise computer files, reading and writing, though no guitar playing today.
Something I learned today?
Through some miracle, Ipswich is in the top position in the Championship. It’s super close with Leeds and Leicester in the race too.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
I spent some time this morning tidying up our cables along the fence.
I also cleaned out the litter tray and swept the floor in our bedroom.
Hey boys, the war is over Even though it wasn’t won There will be no spoils to share But it definitely is done
No more letters to the front Or eating rations in the mud All the winners are losers With the spilling of their blood
The rules of engagement And decisions to be made Must be around a table And no sacrifices paid
Today I’m feeling:
I’m ok today but not that excited. It’s nice to have reasonably breathable air again even though the smoke is filling in the gaps again after being blown around yesterday.
Today I’m grateful for:
Candles and tea lights (see below). Also, Febreeze (again) as Tigger decided to spray the sofa where Cap sits which is right next to where I sit.
The best thing about today was:
I watched a movie today and also listened to some music. I wasn’t overly impressed with either but it’s a sign of a slow return to normality. I also received an email from Sharon which I wasn’t so surprised about as I had already been thinking about my mum when I remembered it was her birthday yesterday and that was also the reason for her email. I still haven’t replied to her one from Christmas so I’ll get on that this week. Hopefully, I’ll get back to the UK to see Sharon and family again one day.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Another fairly violent storm rolled through between six and seven pm knocking out power to the whole village, maybe even further. The breeze block holding down the roof failed and I managed to get another up so had two now holding it down. It sounded like they failed too but I couldn’t tell yet as it was now totally dark. I found a few candles and there’s a nice breeze blowing through the now-open windows. It’s been four hours now and I’ve been reading on my iPad and contemplating trying to sleep. However, the rain has stopped and the temperature is likely to rise to unbearable even during the early hours. Hopefully, someone is out there trying to untangle wires.
Something I learned today?
Looks like this power outage is extensive as even my phone has no service. I write this because I usually look back at what YouTube videos I’ve watched to see if I might’ve learned anything. Now I’m going to have to test my short-term memory.
As I’m laying here thinking I realise that I am learning the sound of the night. No buzzing transformers, the hum of machines on stand-by, pumps pushing water and no doof doof from garaged PAs or the nightclub. It’s Friday night and an occasional frog and cricket is having a brief discussion. Otherwise, all I can hear now is the loud ringing in my ears.
What am I most proud of myself for accomplishing this week?
I’ve managed to keep Amy’s indoor plants alive (just about), my remaining two cats alive and myself alive. That’s an accomplishment. I just continue with what I’m doing. Things will never be completed, they will just stop when I drop dead. Accomplishments? Little things get crossed off little mental lists and when that final day comes will I have accomplished anything? ‘Here lies Shaun, finally accomplished nirvana.’
But I do carry a little pride in what I do.
I took this picture because it shows our roof trying to take off and drenching our cactuses in our entertainment area during the storm yesterday. Another is forecast today but there’s no sign of it so far.
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Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful that today will be a quiet day with no kids around. I will miss them though. Almost a month before we see them again!
I am so happy and grateful that I pushed myself for a few extra minutes this morning, forcing myself out of bed, doing some more stretches and exercise.
Brain dump
Not sure of the date – losing time! Sebadoh today. Soul and Fire.
Woke up in my dream – it was an interesting dream. I was visiting a psychiatrist and had been waiting with tons of other people for ages – was drinking terrible coffee – psych laughed with me about how bad it was.
Sat down with her eventually, felt safe and secure. She started talking about people in my past and bad things that have happened to them despite them being rich and happy (ambitious). They had tried to cheat and got caught. I told that I heard about it even though I was very far removed from these events. I felt happy that they had been caught – somehow, that they had been brought down to my level.
When I woke up I wondered why I thought like that. And why I needed to say anything. I didn’t really need to say or think about these people at all but I somehow keep comparing myself to others. I need to value my own self.
I was also disappointed I woke up before I got to tell the psych whatever it was I was feeling. Maybe my subconscious wanted me to wake up before I could get the advice because it knows I already have the advice in my head. I just need to remember and use it already.
Memories about a Chinese girl in the MacQuarrie Uni class – I’d liked her but acted so dumb and stupid. I got upset with her because she acted cold to me but still said nice things. I didn’t understand this at the time.
To-do list
Compliment – compliment – compliment ½
What do you GIVE to the situation?
‘Thank you’ mantra ✅
Squats, stretch, weights 10 mins? ✅
Record TCRAH tonight? ✅
Back to another quiet day – only another week or so to go until students come back. It will be a little strange to get back to (semi) normal.
I read a lot of Promised Neverland today – really enjoying its philosophical outlook with an odd creepy dystopian story.
I felt good and positive with myself all day. I had enough energy to record another TCRAH and enjoy it. I had more to write but much of it has gone out of my mind now!
Hayden in hospital – far away can’t see. Drama in his life. Girls – damn, was that always my problem too? Glad I found a couple of good ones in my time. What to do – what to say? Talk to him later I guess.
Head not too clear – last night say goodbye to Nu as he heads home. Couple of beers – no drunk feeling but slight blurry feeling this morning. Head with thoughts but not clear.
Cracking creaking neck. Stretch it better. Bleugh, alcohol. Fat belly breathing up and down. Try to clear.
Teach tonight. Talk more. Am I good at talking– good at listening?
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful that my son was smart enough to seek help when he really needed it. I hope he can work through his problems and lead a happy life.
To-do list
Mini-zine for Nu – check his Facebook ½
Positive – smile- compliment – wish ½
Prepare for meeting Mike tomorrow ✅
More Thai practice – this is a great opportunity ✅
Try to talk with Hayden more ½
As Hayden had had his phone taken off him it was hard to talk with him today but he called me at lunchtime and he sounded much better today. He thinks he’ll be there for a few more days and I hope they can get him on the right path. I think he knows about this but is finding it difficult to get away from what he is familiar with. He has also struggled with the idea of change but could give himself more credit for how well he has actually dealt with it in the past.
I was a little quiet today but actually quite happy, just wanted to listen more than speaking today.
I tried to do the mini-zine in the morning and I put all the ideas together but the execution was awful. I’ll work on a proper version and send it to him. It was fun to put together though and I’d like to do it for more people.
I am so happy and grateful to be sitting by the river this morning for a coffee.
To-do list
Be nice to everyone you meet ½
Stay calm, stay quiet, listen well ½
Practice a mantra ‘it’s fine, it’s fine, it’s fine’
Find out about teaching options but keep it simple! ✅
Drop by HomePro and check out weights ✅
I started off the day a little quiet and morose and even George’s positivity rubbed me a little the wrong way despite knowing he was right.
By the afternoon though I had turned things around in my head enough to be able to more quickly dismiss negative thoughts. I was polite to everyone I met though I realise I could be upbeat and smiling (even though wearing a mask).
I was calm and quiet though maybe I could have listened better. There Wasn’t really any occasion that necessitated using the mantra today, even though there were a couple of times I could have gotten wound up.
I got home quite energised, chopped up the fallen papaya and drank two beers which, due to the heat and humidity had very little effect. They did contribute to a more relaxed feeling though – getting back to some semi-normality is a welcome relief.
Tomorrow I should smile more and greet people in a more friendly manner. I have an idea of what I’m doing now work-wise so I can relax a little more.
The cacophony of modern life also stops us from listening. The acoustics in restaurants can make it difficult, if not impossible, for diners to clearly hear one another. Offices with an open design ensure every keyboard click, telephone call and after-lunch belch make for constant racket. Traffic noise on city streets, music playing in shops and the bean grinder at your favourite coffeehouse exceed the volume of normal conversation by as much as 30 decibels, and can even cause hearing loss.
Kate Murphy (New York Times, Talk Less, Listen More)
First, please quiet the noise in my head.
The events of this past week have put me in a spin. Even as the sadness recedes somewhat, images pop up randomly, memories flicker; a pre-tear feeling appears in my chest and throat but is soon countered by my rationality and tucked back away.
While my mind wanders less there is a lack of clarity around my thoughts. A directionless, purposeless meandering. This is a different feeling to the one I was experiencing previously. Where I could sit in my class and concentrate with students running, shouting and screaming. Now it drives me crazy.
All this adds up to limit my engagement, to cloud my listening ability. I can hear but I’m not listening.
Listening is a difficult skill to master. Made even more complicated by the sound-byte outrages of social media culture. I don’t feel that I have ever been able to listen properly. I want to practice the quietening of my own thoughts and be more fully engaged, whether in conversation, in watching videos and movies and to attempt that euphoric emotion when really listening to music.
I keep reminding myself to talk less, to shut up a little. Not to jump into what I want to say, to make my point or to win the argument. Just listen. And think.
Damn, this was hard to write today. It’s probably reflected in the scattered approach and execution. But every day I accept the challenge. Put words down on paper. Get thoughts out. Think, until clarity.
Hello and welcome to inconclusive arguments in today’s conference we have a psychologist, a guru, an athlete, a freak, a scientist, a dictator, an anarchist, a mass murderer, a composer, a human vegetable, and a complete outsider. let’s open the discussion with you, er huh what gives? that look of revelation on the athlete’s face – the complete outsider is the centre of attention – just what is the human vegetable doing to the psychologist, the freak is eating the mass murderer, o my god terrifying vistas of reality and our position therein are being opened up to us all, this is the worst thing that’s happened to mankind and in the studio they’ve opted for a new dark age but your commentator has gone stark staring mad.
New Dark Age by Rudimentary Peni
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful to have put myself on a better path. It’s a struggle but it will be worth it.
To-do list
Speak less – listen more – do not complain ½
Write a blog post ✅
Check George’s lesson plan again ✅
Do body scan and breathing concentration ½
WOOP ✅
A slightly disrupted day lessons-wise but at least it meant I only really taught one lesson so it was very easy.
I took some time to read before we went out for dinner and then later meeting Bee and George. Had a few drinks together but got the feeling that everyone was a little too tired to really relax and fully enjoy the night. I, myself, really struggled to get some thoughts out on the blog and I was writing about how confusing and unclear my thinking has been since Kimi passed.
I also started reading more about the Stoic contemplation of death which is something more on my mind now.
And now, slightly hungover, it’s a little difficult to find words.
Today I will attempt to remind myself that I may die tonight in an effort to push myself back into the moment.
1994ever 