Tag: quote

They Shook Hands – 14th November 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Smiling for the camera
Deceptive poker plays
Air pushed in translation
No thunder today

Arm wrestle the future
Knives behind backs
Until advantage found
In what the other lacks

Back to the big oak table
For diplomatic fire
Promises made and broken
As new demands require

All the hands now shaken
To sighs of relief
Yet rendered in denial
And insincere belief

31st Mar 2024 – Submitted to Ragtag Daily Prompt

I shall vomit back onto my contemporaries the disgust they inspire in me…

Gustav Flaubert

Today I’m feeling:
Pretty good though my students were very raucous today.
Today I’m grateful for:
The guy at the food stall who gave me a sesame-covered glutinous rice ball to try as I went out after class with the kids to get snacks.
The best thing about today was:
Getting the ironing done before Amy is back. I don’t want her to feel that she has to iron my shirts. Time went quick enough as I watched videos whilst doing them.
Daily thought
An example of good coming from a bad experience.
When going through the bad experience you feel as if nothing good could ever come out of that sick feeling. It is only on reflection that growth is recognised. Bad experiences include getting dumped and cheated on, being treated with contempt by bosses, and being made a scapegoat. To think about recent times would be how my first two teaching experiences dealing with the administrative system totally sucked but out of that I ended up where I am now where I am much happier.
Do you have a life partner?
Oh yes indeed. My lovely little Amy.

I took this picture because this is what happens when the kids take my phone to take pictures with. Bless them.

The Calmers – 13th November 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Take a deep breath
Still that thrashing heart
Stop for a second
Before you fall apart

Not the time to run
Bouncing around
Turn the TV on
Until you’re settled down

Upon the fields of friendly strife are sown the seeds that, upon other fields, on other days will bear the fruits of vistory.

General MacArthur

Today I’m feeling:
am: tired pm: lively
Today I’m grateful for:
The afternoon coffee that is keeping me up late right now. I’m glad I forced myself to get out this afternoon as I had a quick midday nap and could’ve just spent the rest of the day lazing around.
The best thing about today was:
Going to Daytripper as just described and finding that the girl working there is someone I often see at Utopia reading books but we’ve never spoken. As I paid to leave she asked how the coffee was and we chatted a little. Her name is Natalie and now we have a basis to talk in the future. There was also a group of the barista’s friends there playing a card game and just as I was getting energy back from the coffee I really wanted to ask them if I could join but by then I had to get home to feed the cats. A missed opportunity to make some new acquaintances but I’ll be sharper next time
Daily thought
Do you complain too much?
Maybe. It is definitely not at a level I left the UK with and I think I still continue to improve on this but as with these things you generally don’t tend to notice yourself when you are doing it. So I’m saying maybe because I don’t think I do complain too much these days but I may be missing it.
Do you ever see wild animals?
Can I include my students?
Snakes, lizards, birds and some mad insects. I don’t think there are any big cats in Thailand and any elephant I’ve seen is no longer wild.

I took this picture because the stupa on the hill is a landmark letting me know I’m near home. This shot was in the golden hour taken from Daytripper across the rice fields. I’m not tired of rice field shots but they never quite catch the experience. Maybe I should crack out the big camera and see how that performs.

Daisy – 12th November 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

There she is, dressed in black
She’s clinging to my arm
There’s no way to take her back
But there’s no cause for alarm
Even though she’s hurting me
I know it will be ok
And not everyone will see
That she is here to stay

Western civilisation is a story of full bellies and starving hearts. Of a feast of information and a famine of truth.

Caitlin Johnstone

Today I’m feeling:
Happy and dizzy.
Today I’m grateful for:
The girls at the tattoo studio again for doing a great job. They don’t mess around and just get on with the work. Again, I was out by midday and on my way home.
The best thing about today was:
My new tattoo, obviously!

I took this picture because it’s fresh.

The Myths We Made – 11th November 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

So much for the myths we made
Throwing rocks at the running police
Looking out from the tenth-floor flat
And dreaming of release

The tunes were busting on the stereo
And cigarette smoke filled the room
Bass was shaking the floor below
They were banging with a broom

Nothing to do and nowhere to go
We made fists and painted shirts
Promised ourselves we’d never stop
No matter how much it hurts

Time went on and the myths grew large
So much, they hung around our necks
Weighed down with hypocrisy
Until the truth could no longer flex

The tragedy of being human is that even when we are doing our best to be kind and compassionate, sometimes we still hurt and get hurt by others. In moments like this, I believe that compassion becomes a matter of faith: Choosing to believe in our own innate goodness, even when others refuse to see it; and choosing to believe in the goodness of others, even when they are refusing to show it.

Kai Cheng Thom

Today I’m feeling:
Relaxed and happy
Today I’m grateful for:
Being able to accompany Amy via video call as she makes her drunken way from the city to her home in the early hours.
The best thing about today was:
Talking to Jochen for a two-and-a-half-hour catch-up on things. It felt very comfortable and natural even though we haven’t talked except via messages for more than a year. We have a common understanding born from our musical backgrounds despite having variations in taste. We get it. Jochen is one of my tribe.
Daily thought
Do you remember a time you let something external bother you too much?
Yes, too many times, unfortunately. Sometimes the situation feels like it can’t be escaped due to financial responsibility and risk for example quitting a job to get away from a shitty manager. In cases like that, it feels like having no control and I couldn’t be brave enough to get away. Perhaps ego also plays a part and wanting to be right to the detriment of my own health. Looking back it is easier to see that I could have understood the situation better and concentrated on the things that I could control rather than get upset about the things I couldn’t. Just thinking about some of those situations now though still winds me up so I wonder if I could behave better if it happened again. I’m weak and in denial. Maybe one day I’ll get it!
Write a thank you letter to someone you love.
Well, I didn’t do this specifically but I did get a burst of energy today writing emails about vinyl production and south-east Asian touring possibilities. Talking with Jochen for a couple of hours sort of fills this criterion too. I don’t consider myself to have many good friends but I love those that I do have and that includes Jochen. He’s one of the good ones.

I took this picture because I was surprised to see this little fella just sitting here camouflaged in the early evening. Better than finding them dried up under the sofa!

Make The Call – 10th November 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

It’s just a call, dial the number
Maybe they won’t pick up
And all will be forgiven

Dial the number, make the call
The click of the pick-up
The heart skips
A new beginning
Nervous

Once words flow though
Out the stories pour
These things kept secret
Now shared experiences
Empathy and sympathy emerge
That won’t be so bad at all

No man can really say that he knows what joy is until he has experienced peace.

Henry Miller

Today I’m feeling:
Satisfied but still tired.
Today I’m grateful for:
My old student Kamboom, who messaged me and we were able to arrange to meet at Sammakhi next Tuesday. I can see from her messages that her English is excellent now. It must be nearly three years since I saw her last time.
The best thing about today was:
Watching Top Boy for a couple of hours and not getting itchy to watch something. I’ve been flicking around Youtube too much so it was nice to submerge into something a little more sustaining
Daily thought
Do you still think you can change the world?
I think we have to think like that. We change the world with the way we interact with others and any of our actions are passed along into the future. Even in a diminished capacity, every little thing we do moves us forward, for both better and worse. The seeds may be sown by a single word. I have to believe we can.
What do you explore on the evenings or weekends?
Evenings and many weekends are usually mental explorations. Otherwise, I like to go for long bike rides and explore tracks, often overgrown and unused. I don’t usually explore much on foot or explore different food and drink places. I’m comfortable with the good places I have found but know its also good to try new places and find other new favourites.

I took this picture because every year I can notice when the sun rises above the stupa on the horizon. It feels like my little Stonehenge although there’s nothing particular about today from where I’m looking out. I wonder where the sun rises above it on solstice days. It’s possible it carries some meaning in that way as quite a lot of cultural events are based around the moon at least.

The Teenage Hand Hold – 9th November 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

We held hands, sweaty palms
But that didn’t stop our walk
We circled the lake three times
Lost in the nonsense of our talk

Nervous about our steps
We never looked at each other’s eyes
We left unsaid many thoughts
For other times to realise

Could this time go on forever?
We’ll live it over until our ends
Remember that time at the lake
When we became best of friends?

Our external searching and perpetual information hunting (and hoarding) are all ways of avoiding an answer disguised as earnestly searching for the answer.

Thomas J Bevan

Today I’m feeling:
am: tired pm: happy
Today I’m grateful for:
Brian Walsby, his art and Manchild books which I’m almost finished reading having owned them for about 10 years already. We seem to have gone through a lot of similar experiences in our formative years. I guess a lot of us into punk in the early 80s all did in some way or other.
The best thing about today was:
Overcoming my tiredness in the morning and ending up really enjoying the day. Classes went well and I felt as if I was really connecting with some of the students.
Daily thought
Are we still the same as our 14-year-old selves?
I think we all carry forward parts of our youthful follies despite wisdom received since but we cannot be the same. Some of that wisdom pays off.
How would you design the city of the future?
Damn, don’t let me do that. I would employ someone who knew what the hell they were doing! This question though reminds me of the ideas of Jacque Fresco who seemed to conceive of better ways for cities to be organised.

I took this picture because it’s nice when Tangmo wants to come and play for a bit. He doesn’t play so much now, he’s not a teenager anymore I suppose.
I’ve been forgetting to look out for photo opportunities these last few days and this one is from a couple of weeks ago.

Child As Philosopher – 8th November 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Kid, you got a question?
A minor fleeting thought?
Shout it to the crowd
Demand yourself an answer
Revise what you’ve been taught
Thinking aloud allowed

Thinking aloud allowed is a motto at our school. That’s not to say it happens though.

To waste your time in battles not of your choosing is more than just a mistake, it is stupidity of the highest order.

Robert Greene

Today I’m feeling:
Average. Tired.
Today I’m grateful for:
Tangmo coming for a quick visit when I came home. I always enjoy his unconditional interest and acceptance when he’s here. He’s not so needy now and sits patiently outside until he gets bored and goes home.
The best thing about today was:
A quick snooze after coming home at lunchtime where I never got into a deep sleep but enjoyed some lucid dreaming.
Daily thought
Are you lucky?
I don’t believe in luck as such though good fortune may come my way from time to time. So, I may be lucky but it’s just random. I also try to look at many situations as being of good fortune even if they seem otherwise. In this sense then, yes I am lucky.
If you could interview one person from the past, who it would be? Why?
Now my mum has gone I often think about questions I’d like to ask her. I guess I would have lots of questions for my dad too, having no memory of him. I would love to talk to Steve again too. Perhaps this question is supposed to be answered along the lines of proposing someone famous historically. I think the people I am interested in historically hold that place because of what they themselves have already written and left behind as their legacy so there’s not much left for me to ask them. Asking why someone made such and such a decision won’t really change the situation as it is today.
But then as I’m thinking more, perhaps Lee Harvey Oswald. His story never got heard leaving somewhat of a mystery that has fascinated people for the last 60 years. Ultimately though it wouldn’t affect anything really.

I took this picture because this big lizard was making a racket outside the door. I chased him around to the other side of the house where I can still hear him asking for rain.

Twatter – 7th November 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Smash them in the shitter
Fry their dicks in batter
Friends of Gary Glitter
Fuck ’em, they don’t matter
Freedom, guns and fuck yous
The new intellectual debate
Pretending to be news
In the amphitheatres of late

You must always respect those who struggle, even if they are defeated.

from Burmese Moons by Sophie Ansel

Today I’m feeling:
Happy
Today I’m grateful for:
Trying to engage some of the ‘bad’ girls in my class and able to draw them into enjoying finding solutions or seeing how to think about something in a different way.
The best thing about today was:
Catching up on some things during the three-and-a-half-hour break between classes. Each day of the week has a different schedule that I can utilise in different ways. Mondays will be catch-up days.
Daily thought
Do you rule over yourself?
I try. But there are some things that I don’t wish to give up that just to feel that I do rule over myself. For instance, I take a mix of sertraline, tramadol and kratom which keeps me very well-balanced and in a good state of mind. I understand that it would be preferable to be able to maintain that balance without these things but I’m happy to let them rule over me for now.
What are three things you couldn’t live without?
How to answer this? Air, food, water? Or, really there’s nothing that I couldn’t live without? I enjoy the things I have in my life but if I didn’t have them I could still live. So, I guess I could think of the question like this – what are three things you prefer not to live without. Maybe that’s easy too. Amy, books, music. If I could have four then I would add cats.

I took this picture because on our bike ride on Saturday Bruno and I ended up in Doi Hua Mae Kham and rode around this developing village with freshly laid concrete. The format of the panorama doesn’t show quite how steep the road is or how spectacular the views were (unless you zoom in a little).

The Fog – 5th November 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Unable to touch, seems so far away
The lighthouse smashed relentless
The turmoil of storms on display
This fiery cloud is scentless
Securely wrapped in a blanket
Resisting the push and pull
With enlightenment to thank it
Let no self-deception rule

inspired by a Robert Greene piece

Orwell feared that the truth would be concealed from us. Huxley feared the truth would be drowned in a sea of irrelevance.

Neil Postman

Today I’m feeling:
Settled and satisfied.
Today I’m grateful for:
Bruno suggesting we ride to Doi Mae Kham which is a place I’d been thinking to go to since 2 years ago. On the map it’s easy to see that is on a piece of land that sticks out into Burma so kinda encourages investigation. In the end though it wasn’t spectacular but a pleasant enough long ride to fill the day.
The best thing about today was:
Finding Kim and Cap hiding next to each in boxes in the walk in. There haven’t been too many fireworks tonight but I think they’ll be hiding in there a lot this coming week.
How do you feel about cold weather?
Cold or hot weather, so long as I can get out of it it’s great. Cold weather in Thailand is relative and it feels great.

I took this picture because the neighbours had a burn off at dusk. It was pretty spectacular. Thankfully the wind was blowing the smoke away from the house.

The Out-Group – 4th November 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

There are no two ways about it
When you’re swimming in the soup
There’s no chance to doubt it
You are in – in the out-group

There can be nothing left to nuance
No greys amongst white and black
Every side gets what it wants
And there’s no turning back

Journalists need experts as badly as experts need journalists.

from Freakonomics

Today I’m feeling:
Happy and lazy
Today I’m grateful for:
Thinking that the power adaptor I had to buy was 1600 baht but turned out to be 1200 baht which made me feel better about still having to spend this large amount of money.
The best thing about today was:
Feeling good being in classes and around my students. They bring me joy and frustration and I love them all. What a privilege to watch these boys and girls slowly adapt themselves as they develop into young men and women.
What relationships have you let go of?
The ones that take up too much of my energy. I know my tribe and who they are or even will be when I meet them. At times I’ve had to make acquaintances outside my tribe but trying to make them into deeper friendships doesn’t work out for me. I choose not to adapt to ways I find dismal and accepted as the norm. And from within my tribe, there are people of all different varieties and those that weren’t of a genuine nature were left behind also.

I took this picture because I went to the weed shop to buy some gummies for tomorrow’s bike ride