The seduction of the capitalist To need, to want, to own It’s easy to trick yourself Into feeling you have grown
Now it seems so quaint To buy at market stalls Next shutting down the shops To build great shopping malls
And now their lacquer fades As everything can be found online It’s only a few clicks But who really has the time?
Don’t posture like a bohemian Of course, these things are great But the truly great things Are those for which you wait
12th Apr 2023 – Sometimes I look back at things I’ve written and can be quite impressed with myself. At this time when the wonders of capitalism are starting to be questioned more and more it feels like we are in a downward spiral of forever chasing shiny things to the detriment of our sanity. 21st Apr 2024 – Submitted to The Ragtag Daily Prompt
You can swim all day in the sea of knowledge and not get wet.
Norton Juster
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful that my old computer has lasted for ten years but I think it may be about to die. It’s had a good run.
Remember that great time we had yesterday? I’ll never forget what it meant to me I know things will never end up back that way And it’s best to let these things be
Remember those times we had this morning? After waking up and changing things around We carried on without heed to warning Forever to share those memories we found
Now as each minute passes us by I’m wishing that this time could be turned I want to revisit each murmur and sigh And examine all the lessons I’ve learned
Fixing the world at your barroom tables Shaking fists at your agreeable fables It’s simple in your circle of influence To discount all the unsavoury elements
Warring in nations at your profitable leisure Prodding the monkies to provide your pleasure Your war is better than theirs, you beg Stuffing the chicken back into its egg
‘I am a piece of fallen skin’ ‘I am a broken hair from a spider’s leg’ ‘I am from dirt the cat tramped in’ We three wait In a corner close to the walls Behind and beside the washing machine We see the day come and go And we wait Ants wander by often, lizards, sometimes, too The cat peers under the machine About once a week And we wait One day the machine is gone And all traces of worldly humans Soon the plaster and brick will crumble And we wait We see the weeds encroaching Pushing through every crack The wind will never find us here And the heat and cold bother us not And we wait Now there is only darkness Every living thing has disappeared We float away in space Waiting for a reformation
The most important skill of a species intelligent enough to understand both their insignificance and their mortality is the capability for distraction.
Tim Urban
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful for the great variety of food I can find where I live. It’s still new and refreshing to me.
A couple of quotes from Samuel Beckett’s ‘Happy Days’. As I was reading the bizarre scenario of the play I had, perhaps, a false reminiscence of seeing this play on TV when I was young, being intrigued and excited by it. Whether I did or not is beside the point. In my mind, it now happened. I found an old dodgy video online of the play and it is almost exactly as I imagined. I didn’t watch it all as I don’t want to spoil the idea of it in my head. I will watch his other plays that I found though – unless I end up finding the books first.
Can’t be helped, just one of those old things. Another of those old things.
Resigned
Sigh away all of your expectation Lost in your thought of resignation Accepting as a gift, a pleasure Here is now, and made to measure
Ah yes, so little to say, so little to do, and the fear so great, certain days, of finding oneself.
There is so little one can say, one says it all, and no truth in it anywhere.
In My Hole
So little to say, so little to do A mindless curiosity within So afraid of being found out Who am I? What do I bring? Words were spoken that said it all Tho’ not a single truth was divulged Here, in my whole, with my bag I am henceforth forever indulged
I am so happy and grateful for the lip salve to help keep my lips moist. How many people are involved in making and distributing that? Thank you all!
Dark and stormy this morning, slept like a log and didn’t want to get up with my alarm as it was so dark and quiet outside. But I did. Pushed through a workout and felt good. Feel good now with just one class this morning. Hayden called and sounded chipper. He told me he’s off the weed again, which is good and definitely contributes positively to his communication skills. He is talking big ideas and I hope he can follow through and figure things out for himself.
Is there someone who is older than you who makes growing older inspiring to you? Who is your aging idol and why?
Non-specifically, I would say anyone who I see or read about who is still doing whatever the hell they like without concern for whatever is regarded as appropriate. Artists, musicians, creators etc. Could be others just doing what they do, even if quite normal. Someone bound to their belief but not so much that their mind is closed.
Of course, specifically, I would have to say my mother. I watched her grow and change without realising it. Her mind never failed, even whilst her body did. I think I understand she went somewhat against the grain of external expectations and I love that about her. She rarely held me back from trying everything and I was never afraid to tell her about it.
I don’t have that many people around me who are older than me. I’m struggling to think of anyone who is particularly inspiring in their old age. I’m taking in all experiences all the time and moulding them as I see fit.
We know it’s fire before walking into it But we walk into it anyway That sweet-talking tongue with those devil words Are the mark of Satan at play
Whilst thinking we’re ready to join the game We’re not ready, yesterday or today Tomorrow is set aside for self-reflection Then to get the hell out of the way
I am so happy and grateful for another relaxing massage yesterday followed by a delicious lunch by a lake with Nut and Bruno
A weekend disappeared (even though it is only Sunday afternoon at this moment). Friday night, I stayed up reading articles and drank one of the bottles of homemade Baileys that Dylan made, which made me feel good without being drunk.
Despite getting home tired, I was just happily keeping myself occupied, my brain engaged and didn’t get into bed until after midnight, yet managed to read a comic or two and then by this time I was both tired and awake. Pretty sure it was around 2 am when I got to sleep and then surprisingly woke up with my alarm at 7.15 and despite trying to snooze on, got out of bed soon after, ready to take on the day!
Amy and I had booked another two-hour massage for 10 am – her taking advantage of it only costing 10 dollars an hour this month, whereas when she will be in Australia next month, it will be at least six times that price. My massage this time was not as painful as last week and I couldn’t tell if it was just that the lady was taking it easy on me or if I just had less tension.
I was also distracted with a thought about giving each of my students a written report for their parents. I’d like to do this but a little paranoid that some parents may take useful information in the wrong way. I’m very conscious of wanting to do everything I can to help the students but becoming more aware that many parents don’t care that much, or, at the opposite end, overreact. I would put everything in a positive light. I don’t need to do this and it would take a fair bit of time but I’m a little concerned that I may not get my contract renewed next semester and want to show the kids and their parents how much I’m trying. A bit of a selfish motivation, mixed with the best of intentions.
So, my massage sped by much quicker this week and then we were off to meet Bruno, Nut and To at a northern cuisine restaurant by a lake. Bruno was in fine form and it’s interesting to me to see him interact with Nut. They have a funny, rib-poking relationship and Nut has quite a reasonable head on her shoulders. Bruno smokes a fair amount of weed and it has the opposite effect on him than it does me, in some ways. I think we got get lost inside our heads but he is also buzzing and talking quickly, perhaps saying everything that comes into his head, whereas I might be just thinking it. Even though their joshing and joking is light-hearted, I do wonder if Nut does take some of these things seriously. I guess I don’t really know them well enough to make a judgment, just to know that I don’t think I talk to Amy in quite such a brisk way.
Anyway, the food was great and conversation flowed until it was time to go off to other things and Amy wanted to do some shopping at Central, which she did whilst I stayed in the car and read a book. The skies had darkened and even though it wasn’t yet five, it felt like nighttime closing in already. So, by the time we were home, I jumped in the shower and got into bed as it looked like nighttime already outside. I wasn’t tired but the feeling was one to snuggle up in.
So I read a ton of comics and it was awesome. I live reading comics. A good comic just takes you away from everything and in such a short time. I think I eventually went to sleep 5 hours later. And, in the night, the rain came. Hard and heavy, quite a surprise for this time of year. Good for the parched ground and the weeds. I had hoped to cut the grass this weekend but will have to delay.
I had to go to school for teachers’ day, which just means sitting around, reading on my phone whilst monks chant and people announce things in Thai. I would guess 90% of the Thais there were just looking at their phones and then taking pictures in places set up to take good pictures in. If there was anything of substance in this event, it escaped me and most everyone else, I’m sure.
The rain had stopped but the sun stayed elusive and I had planned to go dick about in my room but ended up snuggled here in front of the e TV and writing this.
A boring meditation of repetitious boredom A distant goal but no one to score them Successful or not, you just gotta show up Sisyphus is happy and never gonna stop
I am so happy and grateful to snooze my alarm this cold morning. I slept deeply but woke up feeling uncomfortable so I ended up with not enough good sleep.
Oh, new pen, I love you! But I grabbed the last one available. I hope that they restock them. This pen is called Energel Metal Tip 0.7. It’s cheap, made in Japan. The flow is nice on this paper and it’s comfortable enough in my fingers.
I was tired again this morning and snoozed. It was cold too so staying in bed longer was too appealing to overcome.
I did some sit-ups last night. Something that I want to add to my daily routine. I have to do them by hooking my feet under the lounge in Kim Chi’s room because I don’t have the muscles yet to pull my body weight up completely. But hopefully that happens at some point in the future. There are some things my body just cannot do.
As I was driving home yesterday, Amy called and asked to pick up some ice so I took the turn off to go to the auntie store at the back of our house. As I approached, there is a vacant block just before the store. In the corner, near the edge of the road, is a spirit house and I saw a guy standing, facing it. As I got closer, he turned to look at me. He was wearing a trilby-style hat and a big, fluffy coat that came down to his waist. His face looked brutish, with a rough beard. He was built like a Samoan rugby player.
The weird thing, though, was that he wasn’t wearing anything else – completely naked from the bottom down, his butt cheeks shining out to the road and the world, his skinny legs stuck, thankfully, as he swivelled his torso to eye me. I didn’t catch it and quickly drove past.
As I got out of the car at the store, he was still standing there, facing the spirit house. Some weird ritual? More likely, good drugs. I got the ice and got the hell out of there before he decided it was time to come and say hello. Welcome to Ban Huai Phlu!
Feed the cats, iron the shirts, wash the dishes My wife has gone with the bestest of my wishes She did so much and I even paid But without her, I realise that I need a maid
First-world problems, yes, I understand Pleasure and housework don’t go hand in hand Now I’m wishing that my wife had stayed Cos I don’t want to admit that I need a maid
I am so happy and grateful to Amy’s parents for understanding her and not making any crazy demands of her.
A reasonable Monday with a couple of classes. Felt good, students playful but did their work. Did they learn anything? I’m not so sure! Keep plugging away.
I’ve had lots of thoughts go through my head that I though might be interesting to write down but I failed to capture them at the time and now they’ve left the long winding river, somewhere out of reach. If they’re important enough, I’m sure they will float back sometime.
I am so happy and grateful to be able to watch our jacarandas grow a few feet higher and the trunks a little thicker, every year.
Friday again already. It’s been great to be able to sit at House and keep up with lots of reading and writing. Next week I won’t have so much free time like this but have the pleasure of being face-to-face with students. I’m happy with all the scenarios at this stage. I’m enjoying everything. Is life too easy?
As with a couple of years ago, I’m kinda excited for Amy to go away for a while, leaving me to fend for myself and indulge in all my endeavours. I do know, though, that I will also get lonely and I will miss her a lot. Especially her cooking.
It looks as if Jess and Mei will be coming to Thailand soon too. It will be great to see them again and I know Amy will have a great time with them here.
1994ever 