The Chiang Rai Alternative Hour #47 – 11th July 2020

Music from Brontide, Heroine Sheiks, The Rhythm Devils, Pavement, Inner City Unit, Anti Band, Neighbourhoods, Henry Fiats Open Sore, Estradasphere, Giovanni Venosta, Radio Algeria, RD Burman, Rip Rig and Panic, Idiotbox, The Klezmatics, The Psychedelic Furs and Color Us Cool.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for having time to spend as I wish. Today I will record another podcast, continue with 1994ever and maybe finish reading my book.

We got that attitude! – 19th June 2020

I am so happy and grateful that I pushed myself for a few extra minutes this morning, forcing myself out of bed, doing some more stretches and exercise.

Brain dump

Not sure of the date – losing time! Sebadoh today. Soul and Fire.

Woke up in my dream – it was an interesting dream. I was visiting a psychiatrist and had been waiting with tons of other people for ages – was drinking terrible coffee – psych laughed with me about how bad it was.

Sat down with her eventually, felt safe and secure. She started talking about people in my past and bad things that have happened to them despite them being rich and happy (ambitious). They had tried to cheat and got caught. I told that I heard about it even though I was very far removed from these events. I felt happy that they had been caught – somehow, that they had been brought down to my level.

When I woke up I wondered why I thought like that. And why I needed to say anything. I didn’t really need to say or think about these people at all but I somehow keep comparing myself to others. I need to value my own self.

I was also disappointed I woke up before I got to tell the psych whatever it was I was feeling. Maybe my subconscious wanted me to wake up before I could get the advice because it knows I already have the advice in my head. I just need to remember and use it already.

Memories about a Chinese girl in the MacQuarrie Uni class – I’d liked her but acted so dumb and stupid. I got upset with her because she acted cold to me but still said nice things. I didn’t understand this at the time.

To-do list

  • Compliment – compliment – compliment ½
  • What do you GIVE to the situation?
  • ‘Thank you’ mantra ✅
  • Squats, stretch, weights 10 mins? ✅
  • Record TCRAH tonight? ✅

Back to another quiet day – only another week or so to go until students come back. It will be a little strange to get back to (semi) normal.

I read a lot of Promised Neverland today – really enjoying its philosophical outlook with an odd creepy dystopian story.

I felt good and positive with myself all day. I had enough energy to record another TCRAH and enjoy it. I had more to write but much of it has gone out of my mind now!

It gets deeper, let me say and it gets higher day by day – 16th June 2020

Trip undertaken on 31st May 2020

Sleeping alone out in my office man cave meant being able to listen to music quietly through the night and I sometimes approached consciousness and felt deep involvement in the sounds in the room. I have no idea of those sounds or songs once awake again and I also had to turn off the stereo when a long noise piece came up on the shuffle as the sun was rising outside.

The sofa in my room is plenty comfortable for a one-hour nap but not so great for a whole night and as the brightening day chased away the night I threw down a couple of glasses of water and headed out on the motorbike with the intention of heading into the mountains to see if I could get to the stupa that is visible from the fourth floor of our school.

I had a rough idea of where to go and figured it wouldn’t take too long and could get back home before the day got too hot. It was a little cloudy and the big rain the day before had cooled everything down by a couple of degrees too.

But first, to Utopia to throw down a couple of coffees to get fully charged. They perfectly hit the spot and I hit the road in earnest.

I had a rough idea of the direction to head towards, which involved going over a road I travelled down with Amy a few weeks previously. I took the highway down to the other university in the area, this being the first time I have actually gone that far on this road. It’s usually a little hectic on this road with lots of crazy aunties just pulling out from side-roads and houses on their dilapidated old motorcycles, so I was glad to get down there and off towards the university as soon as possible.

Around to the side is a huge pond of water lilies with flowers yet open looking like massive cabbages on stalks.

A little further and a fishing lake with views towards the mountains at the back of my house.

Onwards towards the hot spring and then across to the Big Buddha, which isn’t a Buddha at all, but the Chinese goddess, Kwanyin.

Big Buddha is easier to say and absolutely everyone knows where you mean. This monument is a good landmark as you head into the mountains too.

To get there you have to pass a landfill which is tucked between a couple of hills and only announces itself as you turn a corner and the stench hits the back of your throat. Here the road crumbles down to a dirt track but having been here fairly recently I remembered the way through. The old wooden houses here are dirty and rotten and mangy old dogs stare at you if they can even be bothered to lift their heads from their slumber.

Then it’s onto the bypass – another scary proposition but at least there are not many side roads here for motorcycles to sudden pull out from, it’s just the speeding trucks to be aware of. Fortunately this newish road is still not used that much and it’s an enjoyable ride along. At the bridge I can see the stupa in the distance that is my planned destination (the little white dot on the mid-left in the picture above). The hill in the foreground grabs my attention though as there is a house up there as well as another Buddhist monument. How the hell do you get up there – the view must be amazing. One day in the future I will find out.

The opposite view takes in the river, which flows towards the city. It looks fairly sedate but from my one experience of falling in I can confirm it flows quite fast! The ground is dry yet the jungle manages to maintain well enough. We’re approaching the rainy season and there was a big rain a few days prior but not enough to waterlog anything yet.

Here’s the side on view of the same hill, it looks like the monks accommodation is in the white building but there’s no obvious temple here. Apparently there are caves in here somewhere too. Investigate later.

The red trees are flowering everywhere though the photos don’t really show up how bright they are. I love these rigid lines of plants growing, they counter the randomness of everything else here in Thailand.

I don’t know what the plants are. Anyone know?

Further on, I’m struck by this modern looking building on the hill – what a great place to live. A couple of hundred metres down the road and there is a sign indicating that there is a coffee shop up there, so what the hell, let’s go have another coffee and see what the view is like. The toilet is a tiny cute shack but I couldn’t find a light so had to guess with the small amount of light penetrating the gaps and cracks in the wooden frame. I think I got some in the bowl.

And the view was indeed fabulous. Yet another Instagram cafe here in Chiang Rai. Everyone seems to have one. The owners house, back and above the cafe looked magnificent, with two big dogs lazily guarding the gate. And the coffee was great, along with the refreshing tea that comes with it.

Just around the corner I noticed a big dragon staircase being built and a road up the hill next to it, so I nosily went to have a look. The top opened out into this area with this beautiful tree which I wanted to take home and use for shade in our garden. Behind the tree is a small stupa and I’m wondering now if this was the one I could see before. I thought it was a bit further along than here but I actually didn’t end up going to where I had planned to see what was there. Again, plenty of time to go back and investigate again.

I’m a sucker for these red flowering trees.

And in the distance here, again, not accurately significant in this picture, a huge pink flowering tree that I hoped to see more of so I could get a picture close up.

I was due to turn away from the river so stopped a few times to take more pictures. Here, two locals were walking along the banks, possibly looking for fishing spots. They saw me and shouted ‘Hello’ as I replied ‘Sawatdee khap’ in return. People are generally happy and friendly everywhere I go. They are curious about what you are doing and give them something to gossip about when the community gathers in the evenings.

This picture was taken at a covered area with a few plastic chairs scattered around – probably the community gathering spot. Like everything, it’s dirty and dusty and looks unused and anywhere can a meeting place anyway. Who knows what happens here at night?

This monument presumably brings luck and abundance to the surrounding land. I haven’t seem any other places similar to this.

I started deviating from the plan I had in my mind (actually I forgot to turn off at the right point) and ended up in this strange village with just a few buildings and didn’t look like many people were around. Maybe it’s just one big extended family living here. Their mango tree is doing better than ours.

And so I started heading up…

…and the views got more spectacular.

Finally a waterfall. However, the road ahead was begging me to keep going, so I did. I don’t know how to measure inclines but this picture doesn’t really show just how steep it was. And beyond here an Akha village where everyone was gathering for the Sunday church service. Beautiful hymnal singing came out of the building, in what sounded like the local language, making it all the more intriguing to me. There were many locals standing around, staring at the dumb lost foreigner and I felt like I was invading their space somewhat, so chose to head on. That was a mistake, as the hill got ever steeper and thinner until the road ran out at a house at the very top. As I tried to manoveur around on the slope, with out rolling backwards and over the edge, the owner came out to see what the noise was and told me, in English, I had to go back and turn at the bottom of the hill. I didn’t realise yet but I’d totally missed the turn off I should have taken and ended up here.

I went back down the hill and tried to ride up to the waterfall. I only got about 15 metres before the path was blocked and not knowing just how far the waterfall was (I have walked to other waterfalls for several hours without ever finding them!) I just took this quick snap and turned back. Friends tell me later that it isn’t much further along, so, again, one for another time.

I head back down hill looking for this turn off I should have taken. Google Maps shows it as a major throughway so I’m looking for some solid concrete road. The local kids are bemused to see me riding up and down looking for it.

And it turns out this is the main road – actually the only road – through the mountains going south. Here it is a little wider, the actually entry from the road I was on is little more than an overgrown foot track. And once again I’m heading up but this time through some slippery, sloppy muddy parts.

First part navigated and things dry out a bit. But I’m still going up and I’m starting to hear and smell the engine working hard over this tough irregular road. It’s a struggle and at some points I ponder turning back. But the thought that there might be something special just around the corner spurs me on.

I’m also spurred on my the fact that there are relatively fresh bike tracks along here which means that it is still getting used often enough that I can be rescued if the need be! In fact I start to worry about hitting a rock and falling off and breaking bones. But not enough to stop me. Around here I could also start to hear the buzzing of chainsaws so I figured these bikes tracks may have been made today. It was only a few minutes later I realised it was the buzz and rattle of cicadas (or whatever other bugs make noise in here).

Up and up and just a small gap in the bamboo jungle. Now I have to hope that Google Maps is keeping me on track.

This one is still one the way up. About another 15 minutes later I reached a peak and took some video (which I can’t upload here). It’s a panaroma around both sides of the ridge and it is absolutely silent except the buzzing of insects. No industry, no people, no machines. Just nature. If you can zoom in to this picture you’ll find Kwanyin as a tiny white dot in the distance.

And so, to the other side. Now, getting down was a scarier prospect than going up. Just over the edge here turned into thick mud and brakes became less functional. I could hear the roar of engines in the distance and presently four teenagers rounded the corner on their trail bikes and we smiled and nodded at each other and I’m sure they had a good laugh at the silly foreigner trying to navigate these roads with his little step through motorbike. Whatever, I made it down safely.

Going down hill didn’t last for long as I finally arrived at this village which was only 4 kms away from the main road but had taken me about an hour to get here. At each village the road returns to concrete until you get to the other side. At each concrete road I had thought I had arrived back on regular routes, only to discover more mud just around the corner, or, once again, up the hill. It was also threatening to rain up here but only managed a spit.

If you’re going to live in a wooden shack, make sure it’s the best spot in the village. Up some more again.

Zooming in on this shows the ridges of the mountains repeating off into the distance. It was around here I started to feel a natural ecstasy. A oneness, a wholeness. Goddamn, I want to hold on to that feeling.

I joked with myself that I was getting sick of seeing beautiful things over and over again. It just didn’t stop. When I showed Amy these pictures later she was very blazé about them. ‘It’s my country, it’s what I’ve seen all my life.’ I was intoxicated, however.

Here, the local soccer pitch looks like it could use some loving. Just to the right is a Chinese gravesite, looking over the valley which runs long and wide. ‘Bury Me High’ indeed.

Yet, it seems I can still go further up. A couple of spots of farmers burning crops thankfully weren’t enough to smog up everywhere.

Scenes like these make we want to travel more. This one reminds me of places in Sichuan province in China and I also love the mountains in Switzerland.

I guess I’m a mountain person but I think I equally enjoy the beach. 22 years in Sydney probably took care of my beach pleasures though there are times here in Chiang Rai when I wish it was possible to just go rush into the cold waters of the ocean again.

Finally I made it to the other side, about 4 hours after leaving on what I thought would perhaps only take 2 hours in total. I still had to get back yet. This view is to the south of Chiang Rai – all the others had been looking north or west.

I didn’t take any more pictures as I was going down again as I was hanging on for dear life, most of the way, followed by trucks and other motorbikes and sometimes negotiating tractors and other farming vehicles.

And finally a rest stop, with 4g connection and I tell Amy I’m fine and not to worry. I call my friend to meet for lunch in about an hour at a cafe back near the river. I basically completed a large circle on my journey and would finally end up back on the bypass.

But, I still had an hour before needing to be at the cafe and going directly there by road would only take about 20 minutes. So I rode around Singha Park, enjoying it’s manicured grounds, and ended up coming out the other side back near the mountains again. Another hill tribe village and a check of Google and there looked like roads to make it through, so let’s go and see.

Quickly, the farm land was taken over by rows and rows of pineapple and these dirt roads petered out into walking tracks. Still, Google showed that there was a way through so after crossing a couple of streams I finally found a way out.

Here the vista opened up to these papaya trees and a happy dog was lounging in the shade of the rubber trees on the right.

All around this hill sat various Buddha images which I lost count of as I rode on past. After meeting my friends for lunch I headed home as directly as possible as my skin was already turning crab coloured from sunburn. I made it back at 4pm. Once this sunburn was healed I hope I can go out again. I might also have to wait for the rainy season to finish too. There’s been a couple of big rains since this adventure which may have made much of this journey impossible now.


Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful that I can remember that 24 hours can change everything. One day you can feel so bad but the next day things become good.


Brain dump

Better, better, better today, glad to be feeling this way. Are you reading this, future me? Future anyone? Can you read this drivel scribble?

Naked Reagan Vanilla Blue – but I’m okay. Talking with Hayden on the first floor (sunshine girl in hotpants buying drinks) we make an agreement to tell each other more about our lives. He has gone through the wringer and I can tell he is grateful for our support. He tries to make me feel better and I really appreciate that.

Memory goes in and out – trying to recall things in my past – maybe removing things from now. Doesn’t matter too much but Amy gets mad. What a life! I’ve been and done little compared with some but done so much compared with others. Rise, fall, rise.

So many books. Loving reading – take me to a different world. Thankful. Time to meditate.

To-do list

  • Silent good wishes – compliment – smile ✅
  • Enjoy the dentist – as always ½
  • Take pictures for visa
  • Do some more for Nu’s zine
  • Find things to print for Aing too ✅

Quiet day today – feeling fine – except the dentist was not so much fun today – a little painful but I tried to breathe through it. Now the numbness has worn off, the pain is coming through again and giving me a big headache.

Tomorrow will likely be another quiet day so, a good opportunity to try and repeat some better habits. With only a couple of more weeks of free time left, I should take advantage of this.


Are you living in line with what you value?

Yes, and this is causing some difficulty for me as I cannot accept the cultural difference here in Thailand.  I value fairness and justice and finding elements of corruption permeate society here, gossip can rule the day here.  It’s a difficult adjustment and not one I’m sure I can endure.

We got that attitude! – 11th May 2020

I am so happy and grateful for my view of the mountains. I could be looking at concrete but I’m lucky enough to have the countryside.

To-do list

  • Do more weights and stretching
  • Send card to Fern
  • Find out about wooden masks
  • Speak little – listen more ½
  • Smile – do something nice for someone ½

Despite wanting to do more weight work both my elbows are feeling very dodgy so decided to give it a miss. I did go to my room but very specifically just to read some of my book and I didn’t think about doing any other things.

I caught myself just in time this morning as I was at the point of arguing about another stupid school admin request. I did complain a little but stopped myself before going too far. I’m not sure if Champ felt the same though. He knew his request would mean doing double work for no real reason but that’s what he’s been asked to do. We pretty much worked out a compromise though. I think it probably ended up causing him extra rather than us.

I’m starting to feel relaxed here and George is a constant reminder about how easy everything is. I’m trying to believe it.

We got that attitude! – 22nd April 2020

I am so happy and grateful for our Frangipani trees. Blooming and fragrant even in this drought.

I am fond of reading and listening but as to believing, no thank you, I can’t, and I don’t want to.

Anton Chekov, Love

To-do list

  • Finish CDs finally! ✅
  • Look through photos
  • Call George ½
  • Fill in cracks in concrete

Friday now. I talked with Hayden on Wednesday and he told me that his girlfriend had gotten pregnant. I pondered becoming a grandad but then he told me that she had got an abortion. I didn’t really have any reaction to this news – it’s not something I can change or choose to judge. He and his girlfriend will deal with it the best that they can.

I have been enjoying being in my room again though I’m still not 100% happy with the layout – it’s not quite comfortable yet.

We got that attitude! – 30th March 2020

I am so happy and grateful for my books and my newfound pleasure in reading.

Everybody now has at least two cars, two television sets and a haunted look in their eyes. In short – we are happy.

Albert Umber

To-do list

  • Finish going through book list ✅
  • Start Logic course
  • Carry on – clear emails, close tabs, sort CDs ½

Thursday now – we took the cats to the vet in the city for vaccines. It was good to be out if only very briefly and directly – no dilly-dally.

There’s talk of having to teach our classes online in the new semester – not sure how well that will work and not sure how enjoyable it might be. A challenge – but is it a challenge I want to take? I suppose I would still like to be doing something – let’s see.

Amy has been even more vocal about not wanting to stay here anymore and I think she will go to Oz as soon as it’s feasible again and we’ll get our heads around moving back there. We can’t really do it until Cap and Tigger have gone though – taking them back isn’t really possible.

We got that attitude! – 23rd March 2020

I am so happy and grateful for our month of supplies so we don’t have to go out too much. I love being at home though I would prefer to have the option to go out anytime.

The most beautiful part about love was that you could savour the memory forever.

To-do list

  • Record new TCRAH
  • Call Hayden
  • Write some lessons

Didn’t make it to my room today. Enjoyed lots of reading and watching TV.