Tag: reading

Rose-Tinted Tears – 21st November 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Not understanding consequences
The future impossibly vast
Fire the only guide
With no lesson from the past
Naivety is nature
For kitten and the pup
A world set in wonder
To drink from this cup
Bitter-tasting tears
Wiped from cheeks so red
Whispered-coated rumours
Of words perhaps not said
Blind lead blind in battles
Swords laid to the heart
Voices deepen in anguish
As the youth set to depart
Wisdom-thickened skin
Hardened by the aches
Practised and repeated
Then learned from those mistakes
Where did they go
Those sadder lonely days?
Reminders of a time
Enjoyed in so many ways.

The truth I believe is that silence – like darkness – is a little unnerving but unlike darkness, the apprehension comes not from the fact that it conceals but in that it reveals.

Thomas J Bevan

Today I’m feeling:
Exhausted, a little happy but a little down.
Today I’m grateful for:
Amy being back in the kitchen and cooking up a storm. Before we got home we went shopping and found some vegan pork belly cubes and Amy cooked them and they were delicious.
The best thing about today was:
Chilling at House after a reasonable first-thing morning class. The kids were fairly well-behaved and most got their work done. I got a few things done whilst drinking coffee and enjoyed relaxing.
What book are you reading right now?
Quite a few different ones but the main one is 100 Selected Stories by Anton Chekov. Only just started yesterday but the first two stories were great.

I took this picture because everyone loves a chilled dopey dog. Tokyo can get pretty bitey but I’ve learned to keep her happy and she’s often found like this.

Makes Me Laugh – 2nd November 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

It’s difficult to see your point
When you are the one affected
Cos I’m just going to carry on
I choose not to be infected

Your cold hard exterior
Makes me laugh so much
Your two faces finding
There’s things you cannot touch

Hello and good morning to you
I care not your reply
Every day the same
It’s not my business to wonder why

Most people are stupid and lazy and really only concerned with getting through the next couple of hours with silliness and stimulation and something to eat. Be polite.

Katherine Hepburn

Today I’m feeling:
Happy. A little breathless.
Today I’m grateful for:
The printer at work where I finally was able to finish scanning one of the books I use for one of my classes. I was also happily watching the kids outside doing fun and funny activities with older students. It made me realise the different ways kids learn some responsibilities here.
The best thing about today was:
Reading a stack of different comics this evening. I know I do this most evenings but the stories were all particularly enjoyable tonight.
What is your favourite photo of yourself?
Probably the one from Dean’s party the week after Torpedo Town in 1986. I’m standing tall, topless and skinny, pointing at the camera with a cigarette. It was the second time I’d ever taken acid and at this party Emma and I did it together (her first time) and we had a great evening, night and morning. The original photo got sent to an American gay punk fanzine, which I got sent but without the original picture returned. So now I only have this photocopied copy of the picture.

I took this picture because this sequence all happened pretty much in about 60 seconds. Cap was happily by my pillow. Kim came in and sat on the bedhead which I was surprised about as she usually goes straight for play and hence me taking the picture. As I was sending the picture to Amy, Kim had gone into attack mode and I took the second picture. Cap quickly jumped over to the other bed and Kim seemed satisfied with that and nonchalantly returned to her slumber on the bedhead.

Change Your Mind – 23rd October 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 9 Comments

When evidence is not compelling
Even though it’s fishy-smelling
A balance is easy to find
What will it take to change your mind?

To update your view is noble
Even if it’s not seen as global
To admit you were wrongly inclined
What will it take to change your mind?

7th Oct 2024 – Shared with Reena’s Xploration Challenge #350

See the fruits of discipline and skill as the richest pleasures of all.

Robert Greene

Today I’m feeling:
am: flat – pm: happy and enthusiastic
Today I’m grateful for:
Being able to fix the number plate on my bike for just 69 baht. The first shop I tried the guy just pointed down an aisle but didn’t help me at all. I couldn’t find the part I needed so went to another shop instead and the lady there went and got what I needed. She gets my money. I guess I’m also grateful that I never got stopped whilst riding around without the plate for the previous 24 hours.
The best thing about today was:
Finally sitting down to play guitar again after a couple of lazy days. I figured I’d give it ten minutes but ended playing for an hour and a half. Currently reading the Clash bio and hearing about how quickly they became skilled has motivated me a bit more.
Take a selfie.
Not a selfie type.

This is from yesterday. I took this picture because this was the destination that I marked on my map that I almost gave up on a couple of times on the way. I want to go back and I want to keep going!

Both Worlds Paradox – 15th October 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Beauty fades as knowledge grows
And wisdom comes too late
To understand what the old one knows
As the acceptance of this fate

When a person can’t find a deep sense of meaning, they distract themselves with pleasure.

Viktor Frankl

Today I’m feeling:
Happy and chilled
Today I’m grateful for:
The lady in the print shop helping me to print out a few things I needed. Some for school but also printouts from my blog which I will send to Hayden.
The best thing about today was:
Finishing reading a couple of books. I love the anticipation of starting a new book, a new journey, new knowledge.
What movies do you need to watch?
This is easy. There are NO movies that I NEED to watch. I have a hard-drive full of movies that I’d like to watch along with many DVDs, Netflix and YouTube. And perhaps, hopefully, one day I will. I may even try it tomorrow, now that it is in my head.

I took this picture because as I was enjoying my walk home this morning I recalled when I did my first exploratory motorbike ride around the village and came down here, where the sign seems to indicate no entry. I sat on my bike undecided whether to go forward or turn back and as I looked around a lady outside the adjacent house called out and waved me through. I soon discovered that everyone used this shortcut and they just didn’t want cars coming through. Today though, I noticed that someone has taken the trouble to re-gravel the track so there are no more puddles and potholes. Wish this had been done before the rainy season.

Youthful Idealism – 10th October 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Where’s my youthful idealism?
I fucking want it back
Now I’m old and tired
I’d rather just hit the sack
Why am I not shouting?
Thinking to make change
Wanting the best for everyone
Surely is not so strange
When did I give up?
Did I just get distracted?
Now I’ve got what I want
And I’m no longer impacted
Where’s your youthful idealism?
Why aren’t you complaining?
My life is almost over
But yours is still remaining

How to stop time: kiss.
How to travel in time: read.
How to escape time: music.
How to feel time: write.

Matt Haig, Reasons To Stay Alive

Today I’m feeling:
Happy and on holiday
Today I’m grateful for:
The men who cleaned my bike. I know I could have done it myself but I wouldn’t have been so thorough.
The best thing about today was:
Getting some more blog stuff done whilst listening to music. Also finishing another book. I still look at my bookshelf with joyful anticipation for future reading.

Do you owe someone money? Does someone owe you?
I don’t owe money to anyone or any institutions. I am debt free.

I guess some people do owe my money but it’s in the past and doesn’t amount to much in the scheme of things.

I generally live by the rule that if you lend someone twenty dollars and never see them again then it was probably worth it.

Of course, I loaned out much more substantial amounts to bands in the past and mostly managed to chase down outstanding amounts.

If I loan or lend anyone money now, which is rare, I don’t expect to see it again but happy if it does get repaid. This is only because I am now financially secure. Let’s hope it stays that way.

I took this picture because this is the cleanest I have seen my bike since buying it. It was worth the 45 baht expense!

Favourite Trick – 19th September 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

I forgot my brain
Left it on the train
Picked up legs
And off it ran
Driving me insane
I lost my head
Getting out of bed
Overthinking, thinking thunk
Overdrinking, dranken drunk
Nonsense that I said
Myself found lost
Paying the cost
Apple core
With nothing more
Than being tossed
I cut off my dick
When I was being sick
Flushed it down the bowl
I’ll never tell a soul
It was my favourite trick

…an ocean of salt tears could not melt the resolution of the statues.

Danforth, The Crucible

Today I’m grateful for:
Ploughing on and finishing reading Gormenghast. Excellent. Just one more in the trilogy to go and I can send them back to Sharon. Slaughterhouse 5 first though.
The best thing about today was:
Champ buying me a coffee at House, where I took him because he wanted to get out of school for a break. He seemed really happy with my teaching, or at least with my bloody-mindedness to try and get these kids disciplined to enjoy studying. It was certainly nice to get positive feedback.

I took this picture because I’d never seen this fruit before. It was growing alongside a mulberry tree at House. Apparently, it’s not edible, which is surprising because it’s an attractive colour.

The New Conversation – 16th September 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Now preoccupied where once just occupied
Satisfaction for a second is hardly satisfied
Amusing ourselves to death for what?
A triumph of the trivial is all that we’ve got

Contestants fall as they forget about moderation
Convinced that each click is a real conversation
Expert calculations fix the algorithm of fame
And every Tom, Jane and Harry happily does the same

Inspired by a blog post at Oxford Sour

To acquire the habit of reading is to construct for yourself a refuge from almost all the miseries of life.

W. Somerset Maugham

Today I’m grateful for:

Bruno messaging me and asking if I wanted some hummus that Nut has made. I’ll drop around tomorrow and pick some up. Haven’t had hummus in a long time.

The best thing about today was:

Enjoying my class with 1/6 where they were able to relax and have some fun for my last class of the week. It rounded out my week well and takes me nicely into the weekend.

I took this picture because I get to stay in Thailand for another year. Hooray!
Fatman report

The Pudding – 9th September 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 1 Comment

It’s said one reaps what they sow
And you’ve been poisoned by the fruit
Of the promised land you know
As the soil has infected the root
You wrestled for control by force
Claimed that you’d known best
The proof is in the pudding of course
Feeding a state of unrest
The future is not written in stone
But mistakes must be owned and reversed
Otherwise, you’ll end up alone
And seen as forever being cursed

Even if you think you are stuck between two impossible choices, there’s always a third way. You just have to look for it.

Marcus Sedgwick

Today I’m grateful for:
Being able to come home early and enjoy my time here.
The best thing about today was:
Spending two hours playing guitar. It was fun.

I took this picture because I was enjoying reading time in the hammock this morning when I was supposed to have been at school.

The Week That Was – 2nd December 1979

Pick Up – 8th September 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Stay with me, but only come when I call
Knowing you’re there is enough consolation
My pain is mine, not to share at all
I work things out in my own isolation
A quiet word whispered at the right time
I’ll ask for your help when required
When I’m alone all the time is mine
I’ll call when I feel uninspired

No matter how isolated you are and how lonely you feel, if you do your work truly and conscientiously, unknown friends will come and seek you.

C.G. Jung, Letters Vol II

Today I’m grateful for:
The salad man being at the market today as I really wanted to eat salad!
The best thing about today was:
Getting absorbed into reading more of Gormenghast. I couldn’t stop.

I took this picture because just a couple of minutes before this the sun was shining and I’d not long gotten home from a quick bike ride to get food. The wind had blown open the screen doors and blown rain in and even the garage floor had gotten wet. With a flash of lightning close by that zapped me whilst I played guitar and a second later, a huge peal of thunder and the wind was gone and the rain soon after.

Duk Dik – 20th June 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Always active, nervous twitching
Under the skin, blood is itching
Actions precede thought
Which evaporate to nought
Leaving all around you bitching

11th Sept 2023 – In Thai ‘duk dik’ means constantly moving around. This phrase can be used for my students in most of my classes.

The highs and lows I have known have turned me inward to the point where I’ll never feel anything close to normal. I don’t feel isolated, I don’t want in… There’s no confession to make, there’s no truth burning to come ripping out of me… I will always make relationships with people an approximation of a relationship. I think that’s better. I think things are more beautiful when you’re on the outside.

Henry Rollins

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to be able to find the books I want to read from Dasa Books in Bangkok or even able to order from overseas using Amazon.