Tag: reading

Duk Dik – 20th June 2022

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Always active, nervous twitching
Under the skin, blood is itching
Actions precede thought
Which evaporate to nought
Leaving all around you bitching

11th Sept 2023 – In Thai ‘duk dik’ means constantly moving around. This phrase can be used for my students in most of my classes.

The highs and lows I have known have turned me inward to the point where I’ll never feel anything close to normal. I don’t feel isolated, I don’t want in… There’s no confession to make, there’s no truth burning to come ripping out of me… I will always make relationships with people an approximation of a relationship. I think that’s better. I think things are more beautiful when you’re on the outside.

Henry Rollins

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to be able to find the books I want to read from Dasa Books in Bangkok or even able to order from overseas using Amazon.

Make It – 17th May 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 2 Comments

Yeah, we’re gonna make it
But only by the skin of our teeth
Possibly we’ll break it
But somewhere we have to find belief
Maybe we’ll mistake it
For an eternity all too brief
Probably we’ll fake it
Wallowing in an illusion of relief

The more you have to lose, the more fragile you are.

Nassim Nicholas Taleb

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for an extra day off school. I could get a lot of writing, reading and guitaring done. Bonus.

The Week That Was – 15th July 1979
The Week That Was – 22nd July 1979

Happy Weeds – 16th April 2022

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In this garden of life
I’m a simple weed, underachieving
Yet I can grow anywhere
And I’ll never stop believing
Happily, I join in chorus
As fellow weeds, we will survive
Take whatever is thrown at us
We’re just glad to be alive

I refuse to grow younger. I came by my decreptitude the hard way and I propose to enjoy it.

Jubal, Stranger In A Strange Land by Robert Heinlein

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to be able to read all the great stories that smart people took the trouble to write, whether it’s comics or books.

Fatman report

The Nail – 15th January 2022

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Outstanding achievement award
All goals met and all points scored
But being the best
Separates the rest
The nail gets hammered as reward
Punished for not playing along
Subscribe to strive to belong
It’s a constant battle
Fighting the cattle
A nail stuck is seen as wrong
Maintain a smile and never frown
No pinks and yellows, only brown
If you use your mind
You soon will find
A nail stood out gets hammered down

The laughter of fools cannot wound the wise.

Judge Death, 2000AD

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to feel pretty good on little sleep this morning. Last night I stayed up until past midnight, reading articles and comics. It felt good.

Carrying The Pain Of The World – 20th December 2021

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The more you learn about life
And the wiser that you get
There’s more responsibility
In carrying the pain that is met

This is love, the sacrifice
The willingness to forgive and forget
If this lesson is never learned
A life is lived full of regret

Inspired and quoted by interviews with Christmas tree sellers in New York at the Cafe Anne newsletter

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for this sneaky day off work and being able to read a stack of comics in my free time. My mind is taken to so many different places when I read.

My Wife’s Performance Review – 18th November 2021

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Yesterday I reviewed the dog
Today I review my wife
I feel her performance
Doesn’t meet the standard for my life

She’s got some goals to reach
And I will keep on poking
Look out, here she comes
No honey, I’m joking! I’m joking!

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for the adjustable bracket I bought for my iPad so that I can read laying down flat and looking straight up. I hope this helps a little with my sore neck.

Well, turned up today to find only 4 students come to my first class and none to my second! I guess I would’ve done the same after getting a vaccine and being told you may get sick afterwards. I would definitely be sick!

But, I haven’t let the kids off – I sent them the work I had planned. I expect the good ones to do it. It will help them with their work for next week.

It means I have another full day mooching around so at the moment I’m in 22 Grams as I had to come and collect Amy’s vaccine passport. I will apply for one too next week, now that I know where to go and what to do.

Hayden called me yesterday and seemed pretty upbeat. He’s getting involved in some disability care training, which could be really good for him. Doing good things for other people will definitely improve your own self-worth and esteem.

Amy’s student, Nong Na, will come on Saturday and I will teach/talk with her for half an hour or so. I’ve been thinking about what to do and as I’m writing this, the idea has come forth for her to interview me. Sometimes the act of writing provides the inspiration.

I’m waiting for Central to open in 15 minutes (11 am) to go and double-check the price of the MacBook Air. I’d like to buy it before Amy goes away. My laptop is starting to get very slow and finicky, especially the trackpad. As I mentioned before – it still works though. 12 years use for a laptop is pretty good going!

I already prepared all of next week’s work for classes yesterday, so I can start on 2/9’s future classes with the subjects they’ve chosen. I could probably finish that all this afternoon and, who knows, maybe even tomorrow, students will still be ‘sick’. Then next week I can just sit in cafes and read, write, caffeinate.

Here I am again in another job where there’s hardly any work to do. I’ll motivate myself to improve the quality of my work. Put effort into the common good.

(Later) I made a good decision to go and get a massage. I feel great! Now, I’m back at House for afternoon coffee and I’ll go back to school around 3 pm, as I did yesterday, and eat lunch!

Byrne’s Music – 11th November 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 1 Comment

It’s a sex diagram
A time machine
Program Annihilator
A heartbreak scene
Messages subliminal
A Smith’s repetition
Gimmick harmonies
A metaphor competition
Ambiguous lyrics
A chaotic romance
Banging the drum
A community dance
Disturbed facilitator
A melodic personality
Layered catalysts
A concerted reality

Inspired and mangled from here: http://davidbyrne.com/explore/tree-drawings-arboretum/photos/music-tree-2002/1 with added references to SST, The Fall and Scream. The tune in my head is the Minutemen’s ‘One Reporter’s Opinion’.
13th Apr 2024 – Submitted to FOWC with Fandango

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for the possibilities to keep my brain engaged other than the mindless use of social media.

Here I am again, safely tucked up in my corner at House – talking online with the good students and anxious if the other students are actually doing any work.

Amy is busy working out more details for her trip to Australia and I’m wondering what I’m gonna eat when she’s away! I’ll need to get organised with shopping and potentially – shock! horror! – cooking! I think any cooking will purely involve potatoes, cheese, onion and garlic!

After a relatively good period with less neck ache, it seems to be playing up again. I’m back on the abs workout and hopefully that helps a little. I think that when Amy is not here, I will try sleeping in other places, second bedroom, lounges, etc and see if they make any difference. My neck has been a problem for more than a decade now. Hopefully, my general fitness improvements all keep me going a bit longer. Like another 50 years if possible!

I was surprised at the happy ending to the Aladdin story. I’m uncertain if there was any moral to be learned from the story and curious if it was told for any more purpose that is culturally adjacent to its places of telling. I always thought of being able to wish for anything as a curse; that was my cultural context.

Reading some Rollins last night resonated with me a lot, particularly about doing things alone. I need to check out more of his more recent writing again.

It’s 11:11 today and I don’t think I can afford to buy anything on sale at Lazada this time. I looked at the new MacBooks in Central yesterday, considering buying one sometime but also clinging on to my current machine as it is still pretty reliable. I often get these compulsions to get things even though I perhaps have no real need for them. And even though I can afford them, I’ve noticed myself more recently talking myself out of things or delaying that gratification, perhaps to enjoy the anticipation for longer. Anticipation is usually more pleasurable and longer-lasting than gratification.

I think I’ve already talked myself out of the new MacBook Pros and could easily manage with the MacBook Air, which is about half the price. For what I currently use it for, it is more than capable.

I also want to get a big iPad and would be happy enough with an older one, so long as it can store books and comics on it. I just want it for reading. Still, my current iPad is adequate, though some comics can be tough on the eyes after a while.

I also note to myself my many first-world problems while surrounded by people with their third-world problems.

The Week That Was – 11th February 1979

Lower The Flags – 9th November 2021

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Flights of fancy, a child always spoiled
Political wrangling, in scandals, embroiled
A name in history, now forever soiled

A handy harem, each night to select
Behaviour fitting one of total disrespect
A country mourning its own death from neglect

Ignorance is the most practised of skills
Run away to a mansion in the hills
Escaping judgement on who pays the bills

An era ending not soon enough for some
Time to reflect on what has become
Lower the flags, put flowers in the gun

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to open the curtain this morning to thick fog, almost hiding the rice fields right outside our fence. It’s nice to wake up to cold air sometimes.

I lost it a little bit yesterday as I was saying goodbye to everyone in the teachers’ room and George refused to even acknowledge me. Dylan came outside and I asked him what was going on and he just said that George says I don’t talk to him anymore, so he’s not going to bother talking to me, even just to be polite.

I got pretty defensive at this but let it drop quickly and tried to forget about it. I just hope Dylan can see and understand George’s reactions for what they are but I feel that George will be able to persuade him whichever way he wants. It just feels so childish.

Even if I don’t like people I can still be polite. As I discussed with Bruno last week I’m not here to make friends and have a good time with everyone. I’m here to do a job and I want to do a good job – and I can have a good time doing that.

The opportunity arose to say hello to George today, so I gave him a cheerful ‘good morning’ and got a begrudging ‘hello’ in response. I just smiled under my mask and reminded myself of something I learned from George when he would say ‘I generate the atmosphere I wish to be in.’ Indeed.

I’m chilling in the cafe whilst preparing more work for the coming weeks. I hope these ‘off’ weeks can continue as it gives me lots of time to prepare.

Oh, last night I finished watching a short JTV series called The Queen’s Classroom in which a super tough teacher improves the students in similar ways to myself, though I am not as strict as she is. At the end of the story, the students agree that they will remember their teacher forever – in a good way. I hope that I can have the same influence on my students.

The work they are doing with me this semester will push them hard but I already get a feeling that they are very capable. I never want to underestimate their abilities and possibilities.

Reading the story of Aladdin. I’m only vaguely familiar with this story and I can see it not ending well for Aladdin. So, if I had a jinnee and unlimited wishes, from a lamp or ring, what would I do?

Heavy Lies – 6th November 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Seeking connections far outside of town
Wanting a verb but always finding a noun
A big nose, a smile upside down
Heavy lies the head that wears the clown

Trying to float yet about to drown
These waters swam are turning brown
This king is in a state of constant frown
Heavy lies the head that wears the crown

Inspired by a misspelling on an online post

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to be able to sit in my hammock this morning and finish reading the Rolling Stones biography. It’s a nice and cool temperature as Tangmo and Kim Chi chased each other and sniffed around. Days are good.

Dragged myself up out of bed this morning as I was up later than usual last night, reading, trying to finish Cosey Fanny Tutti’s Art Sex Music – almost made it.

Utopia is closed at the moment due to one of the staff members catching Covid. It seems the main outbreak around here was from a Halloween event at a place called Retro Bar. Not sure where that is, somewhere on the university side of the highway.

Although we didn’t know it at the time, Aing was there too and I’d been trying to arrange meeting her as she was only here for three days. One evening, she messaged us that she was at Hope Bar, two houses away from us, but Amy and I were already in bed, old folks that we are these days. It was 9pm. So, as it turned out, it was good that we didn’t get a chance to meet this time.

So, with Utopia being closed, I had to do without my regular morning coffees and chose to read the Rolling Stones bio in my hammock, buffeted by a cool, almost cold, breeze and I did that for an hour or so until finishing the book. Hooray. The Slash bio next, as I continue on with the rock bio books on weekends.

Despite running around shopping, dropping off cakes and picking up coffees in the city, the day feels relaxed and stress-free despite all the potential for anxieties. My attitude is good, my head is in a good space and I’m chilling to new music and staring in wonder at my bookshelves, contemplating what to read next.

Read A Book – 2nd November 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 1 Comment

Gonna be a good day, gonna read a book
Even the adults are smiling everywhere I look
The sun may not be shining but our hearts are bright
It’s gonna be a good day, gonna let in the light

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to see my students back at school again today. They were happy to see each other but not so happy to study again.

Busy and mostly successful day at school. No time to read or write, really, and one hurried coffee in the morning. I felt good and happy, though.

But now I’m tired and feeling it a little. We haven’t been given any schedule for tomorrow yet, so I can only hope that it’s not as filled as today. Either way, I will cope and enjoy my day.

The Week That Was – 28th January 1979