“Everything that needs to be said has already been said. But, since no one was listening, everything must be said again.” – Andre Gide
Image is AI-generated ‘a cat dreaming about birds’
Quick one. Kim staring at me. What’s in her brain – what does a cat think about? Dream about. Birds! Birds chattering – go away cat!
Forgot Drops yesterday. Oh no! 60-day streak gone. Oh well – get up, go again.
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful that Amy can go to Bangkok and visit her friends and we don’t have to worry about money, I can stay and look after the cats and fish and then next month we can go to Phuket together.
Flow
– challenging but attainable goals
– strong focused concentration
– intrinsically rewarding
– feeling of serenity
– loss of self-consciousness
– timelessness/lose track of time
– lack of awareness of physical needs
– complete focus on the activity
How to achieve flow?
– Doing challenging leisure!
extrinsic = external
intrinsic = internal
extrinsic motivation can undermine intrinsic motivation and growth mindset
Growth mindset
– focus on learning not outcomes
– good performance takes hard work
– hard work is good
– effort = good
– make the most of deficiencies
– capitalise on mistakes
– no decrease in internal motivation
– performance increases over time
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful to be able to watch the sunrise in the morning and prepare myself for the new day.
The choice of being horribly depressed or incredibly liberated is up to you.
Neil Pasricha
To-do list
Finally, the English camp is over. I decided to sit and talk with Aiza a little as we’d never really been introduced.
At the coffee shop, there were some Japanese tourists and I held the door for them and said ‘Oaskini doso’ much to their surprise. They were very happy and it made me feel good.
I was very conscious of not complaining about anything today and may have succeeded. And in a big effort, I managed to book most of the flights for the WDS tour. A beautiful Sichuan hot pot to complete the day.
The only downside is the feeling that Amy is not so happy at the moment – she is always annoyed or upset about something in this country. I understand it is more difficult for her here than it is for me (in some ways) and I know she appreciates the things we have but I hope she can ward off these imbalances in her happiness.
Tomorrow we will be teaching again. I’m feeling confident in my lessons and look forward to them more than school, even though I have more fun with the students at school.
8th January 2024 – Rich, I remember, was talking up Archers of Loaf but I didn’t know who they were at the time. He was also into Scrawl so he was already in the tent hanging out in the afternoon. I dug The Jesus Lizard on the main stage and correctly guessed that it would be less than a minute before David Yow had jumped into the audience where he may have remained for the whole set. Did I stay for Helmet? I should have. Watching bands on the main stage of a festival wasn’t fun for me anymore though. I was already preferring the more intimate surroundings of small/no stages in unusual places.
I didn’t bother with Rollins Band in the evening and enjoyed a final day of being with friends again.
sidenote: Remember this mad bad blues band?
It’s all a blur of frenzied activity but here’s the gist. Stocktake over and it’s a glorious sunny day. I get drunk and talk to lady next door while Broni is off talking jumpers and work with Rosemary (getting good possible offers of work). I’m asleep drunk, tired and sun-scorched. Broni returns and we, with John, opt for Indian fool and blues music but we flake it early on and it’s back to dreamtime.
Next glorious sunny day and it’s down to Bournemouth and the record fair to see our friends Barry and Gary, being their usual fun selves. Happy and laughing we came out richer in pocket and in heart. Checked out the beach half searching for cynical Rich in his sandwich board. Back home to our sunny backyard before mad motorway dash once again to watch grown men run around with a football for 90 minutes. This being Steve’s memorial football match. Me, I’m grumpy but enjoyed talking to Chrissy and Karl Barry. Soon home again via mothers and back into bed.
Early morning rise and straight to the beach for early morning coffee (I actually pack for parcels of records before we leave – up very early today). In search of decent food, we spend a fortune at Safeways and proceed to drink away the day in the backyard, with brief excursions into football and kite flying with John and Sarah and Morbaina (this cool Zimbabwean dude). On into the night and we barbecue with our new roommate Simon and we drink and drink. Phew!
Up at five next morning to get Broni on the bus to London and then into work – I’m really pissed off and run off a series of poems before I start to feel very ill and decide to come home. I talked to Broni and tell her I miss her (very much). Hightail highway again, this time to go see Rollins Band in Portsmouth with all the crew. Tony buying beer and Selena not drinking?! Dig play and impress, Rollin’s music doesn’t impress but his presence is awesome. Not totally overawed though!
On return to Eastleigh, me and Rob fight sleep and talk about life and its people till three or so. Rich and Rob go off to work and I read magazines and play records to my aching heart’s content.
Broni rings and seems happy and I hope to see her later in London. I go off to Chrissy’s and try to keep Amanda busy – she is in a particular spoiled brat mood – dear girl. Rebecca is a beauty though! Ah! Chrissy feeds me and I must dash off to collect Rob for another roadbuster to mighty city to see old pals Victims Family. I talked my goddamn head off in the fat London traffic while Rob directs. Soon there inside gig we sell poetry to eager punters and watch Victims Family plough through their last set of their tour. I talked to Ralph for a while, he says they hope to get to Australia someday. I also meet that old dude Rob from Corby and chat before we exit during Grotus’ set.
On the streets, everyone’s celebrating Arsenal’s European victory and I ring Broni at Piers’ and organise a quick visit. Down the road, we enter this huge house and into Piers’ cool yuppie type flat, adorned with great obscure works of art. Broni is a bit self-conscious but that’s okay – soon on again then and coffeed up we drive any old ways out of town. Twice awake and half asleep. A great conversation on the way home reminds me of talking to Steve again! I dash straight to Poole after dropping Rob and back to beautiful bed! Soon awoken by beautiful Broni’s early morning call and knowledge that she returns tonight.
1994ever 