Tag: school

Wait A Minute – 28th September 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Just wait a minute, slow it down
You can’t see the trouble brewing
The choices made are pure emotion
And you don’t know what you are doing

Wait a minute, test the waters
Before the wave crashes and breaks
You’re rushing headlong into trouble
And the pain of those mistakes

Wait a minute, use your brain
Look at the direction you are going
Don’t brush off the wiser words
Thinking you’ve done all the knowing

Wait a minute before you decide
To step into the fire and burn
Live to fight another day
With all the things you’ll learn

Wait a minute, take a breath
Are you certain that you know it all?
Is now the time to experience
The depths to which you’ll fall?

Today I’m feeling:

Perhaps after yesterday’s prompt about dreams, I was very aware of the dream I was having this morning as my alarm went off. For some reason my thoughts and emotions were spiralling out of control and even as I was aware of it happening I couldn’t control it. Nong Fah was trying to comfort me in a kind of student/teacher role reversal, but it didn’t work. 

This dream was based on events from yesterday when Spain was very emotional in class and couldn’t be consoled. He is on the spectrum as is said these days and was having a tough time. 

Yesterday I also talked with Fah about not knowing why Feije was acting a bit of character recently because they seemed to have become more friendly.

I woke up feeling a bit stressed and disconsolate but soon got over it with exercise which got the blood pumping but I also had to push hard to motivate myself to complete.

At lunchtime, I found Fah and friends in the library and Feije’s expulsion was the main topic and then, lo and behold, she appeared. Everyone gathered around to get the gossip and I made myself scarce so the kids didn’t feel uncomfortable.

Today I’m grateful for:

Gui’s mum for giving me four or five custard apples from their tree outside the cafe. I was surprised and appreciative.

The best thing about today was:

Finishing all my grading files for my students and reflecting on how the semester has been. It is definitely an improvement on last year for me with fewer frustrations. As ever it is always enjoyable to watch these young people and their stories develop. I appreciate them very much and I feel as if some of them appreciate me in return.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

There was just one point where a couple of students pushed my patience. I knew they were excited for the holidays but I just wanted them to do a little work for me first. Despite their initial defiance, they could see that I was serious and begrudgingly came and did it. I’m glad they didn’t push it further.

Something I learned today?

In my grade 7 classes this week I’ve just been giving short gratitude quizzes asking three things. What they are grateful for, what they learned and if anything is upsetting them. That last question has proved to be the most interesting. 

This afternoon one of the students, Film, said that they were worried about another student’s mental health. I looked around the room and that student did look troubled and flustered. I took Film aside and asked what had happened and he told me that the student’s two best friends had been bullying him.

Knowing all the students involved I was not too surprised to hear this. 

I took the student off to the teacher’s room and reassured him that the bullies were showing their true colours and were not being good friends. I can see he wants to be good in class but gets roped into doing ‘bad’ things by his friends. I encouraged him and told him that there were other students in the classroom who were concerned and cared about him.

He had a little cry but seemed to understand and appreciate the support. My guess is that they will all be friends again by next semester and it will all be forgotten though I think it would benefit him to find new friends that treat him better.

28th Dec 2023 – Sure enough they are all good friends and thick as thieves again, though I can see the bullied one is a little more cautious now.

What’s my favourite thing to do when I’m feeling down?

These days I kinda know how to stop myself from feeling down but if I feel like I can get it under control I know that sleep often helps me. Another thing that helps is to just do something different. I have so many options available really and it could be something as simple as going for a walk.

I took this picture because Cap hasn’t come and sat next to me for a few months. It was nice to feel his fur on my skin but the temperature was damn hot and sticky already and he was adding to it. I don’t know when or how deeply he sleeps as he seems to move from place to place every five minutes.

My Witness – 24th September 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Who is my witness? Who is left alive?
Does anyone remember our struggling to strive?
With no one left to share
Is there anyone left to care?
All the wisdoms found
Buried back in the ground
Words are often repeated
Once the time’s completed
The same mistakes are made
For which the past already paid

inspired by this post at Spinning Visions

Today I’m feeling:

A bit fried. My head is not quite clear this morning. I’m not unhappy or bothered at the moment, just kinda wondering what’s next.

(Later) The weekend slumber has helped and I feel fighting fit again for a new week. Last week at school with the kids!

Today I’m grateful for:

The non-communicative (grumpy?) guy in the bottle shop next door to Lamp Cafe who said nothing except ‘30 baht’ when I was buying soda water. He never looked up at me or said thank you or goodbye, even though I did. I’m getting used to all sorts of people and grateful that I still feel like this is an enjoyable place for me to be.

The best thing about today was:

The slow get-go that eventually turned into enthusiasm and happiness. It’s hot again but I definitely prefer the less cloudy grey skies. Riding back from Utopia I was considering riding off and around about but perhaps have to wait until next weekend.

Something I learned today?

I watched a fascinating documentary about the collapse of the Bronze Age in the Mediterranean. It makes me interested to travel more. In my imagination, it feels like life hasn’t changed there much over the centuries.

What activities cause me to lose track of time?

As I’m getting older I’m finding more and more that time slips away ever faster. I’m never troubled by boredom anymore and often wish I could be. I’d like time to slow down. Could I stand to give up my comfortable life and possessions for a more meaningful and meagre existence? Do I really want to feel bored again?

Pretty much all activities cause me to lose track of time these days.

Where can I broaden my perspective?

I think this can be anywhere and everywhere. Despite knowing I am opinionated on many things I don’t wish to ever become close-minded about things. I can only make judgements on the things I know and I must admit that I don’t know everything. My perspective is broadened every day with everything I see and do.

Noey took this picture because… I’m not sure why actually, but I think I look pretty good in it.

I’ll Start Life Tomorrow – 15th September 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

I still want a bowl of ice cream for breakfast
To burst my pimples onto the mirror
My floor will forever be my wardrobe
And three-day-old socks may get one more chance
I love the delicious pain of peeling scabs
To reveal the gloop of the human inside
Doodling nonsense when time drags its hands
A daydream may be the best part of today

Sniffs of cigarettes and beer
Deny both my health and wealth
I laugh at the cars racing by
With fist shaken out of the window
I’ll happily kick a stone along the road
And score the winning goal for my team
This tree was made to climb
And my feet to cushion the jump

Racing a friend for no reason
All rules are there to be broken

Today I’m feeling:

Happy to have arrived at Friday. I feel better this week than last. Hopefully, all this exercising is providing me with a little more stamina each week.

Having said that I’m expecting to enjoy a sleep-in tomorrow morning.

Today I’m grateful for:

The candy that has been in my kitchen for about six months. It’s not that I don’t like it but just haven’t thought about eating it recently. 

As I had run out of candy that I usually kept in the car earlier this week, some of my students were left disappointed when I had none to give them so I grabbed a handful from the kitchen this morning. The students were happy to receive a treat as they were waiting in line to get a vaccination before classes started. Some students used this as an excuse to go home early (the vaccination, not the candy!). 

The best thing about today was:

Talking one one-on-one with some of my grade 7 students again, like I did last year. It’s always revealing to get little snippets of what they really think, especially about each other. It’s also easier to give them individual encouragement.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

The thing I complained about yesterday with one class not helping themselves was repeated again with another class today. So maybe the fault is with me. I need to come up with a better way to get these kids focused and engaged. It’s a constant challenge.

Something I learned today?

There are still 80 million unexploded bombs in Laos, dropped by the USA after bombing raids in Vietnam. If their planes had bombs left on board it was safer (for the plane crew) to drop them rather than trying to land with them. The USA has never been held accountable, along with many other atrocities they have committed around the globe. What a despicable, fucked up country the USA is.

Who do I miss from my past?

Those that have died. Steve, my mum, Kimi.

I don’t feel like I miss anyone who is still alive as it is relatively easy to contact just about anyone. This connects with yesterday’s prompt about taking things for granted though. One day these people will die and I may regret not contacting them when I had the chance.

I miss the feelings I had with certain people as certain times in past. I cherish the emotions and the meaning of those times more than the idea of talking to the particular people involved again.

I’m not sure who took this picture because I left my phone at my side whilst I was concentrating on listening to another student reading and just now found this picture, the only one taken today.

Step On – 13th September 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 4 Comments

Stairs never-ending
Treading same old paths
Hungrily ascending
Reliving time-worn pasts
Sun beats relentless
As per the decades gone
Head spun senseless
Sisyphus is never done
When was really my time?
Did I ever really belong?

22nd Jul 2024 – Submitted to No Theme Thursday and the picture above

Today I’m feeling:

Ok so far, after invigorating exercise and a cold shower. Last night I set the aircon to turn off and despite waking up hot at some point, it wasn’t too uncomfortable. In the end though, I found myself waking up about 20 minutes before my alarm and thinking about Amy’s parents and what happens next and considering even longer term that if they are gone and if something happens to Amy too then who can I turn to for help? 

My energy is starting to flag a little by this afternoon though I feel quite contented. I look forward to getting home and hopefully, I sleep well tonight.

Today I’m grateful for:

Getting home after a long-ish day. I’m tired and hungry though not grumpy. Not yet anyway.  I picked up salad at the uni market, where I also bumped into Nong Na, and I’m savouring the prospect of eating it after a few minutes in the fridge to cool it down.

The best thing about today was:

Enjoying my grade 10 class as they struggled through taking notes on a phone call. Thankful for technology that allowed us to set up a group call that allowed myself and the best English-speaking student Toon to sit in the teacher’s room carrying out the conversation whilst everyone listened intently, or in bewilderment, on their phones.

Kru Nu came in at one point and sat smiling listening to us have the conversation. I hope the smile meant she was happy with my work and not a ‘what are you doing here’ ironic smile.

Anyway, most of the students struggled so much that in my break between classes I quickly wrote another conversation and found a video that they can also use for listening practice and we will do that tomorrow.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Despite feeling tired already during the morning, Amy had rung to ask me to drop by to see her mum and dad. With a busy day, it meant I would have to go after school finished, where I would have preferred just to get home quickly. I had already expected this call a little and of course, it would be the right thing to do considering the circumstances. 

So I dropped by, breathing deeply, meditating my way through my lack of energy. They both appreciated my visit and I asked them about Leo, Dad’s dog, and took him for a walk. At least he was walking when I could shake him off my leg. He has sharp nails that scratched me even through my jeans and leaves a bad doggy smell that Tangmo was very curious about later when I got home.

I offered to come walk Leo anytime they wanted and to call me if they needed me to do anything. They seemed happy despite the situation. I guess we don’t know anything too much yet, just that they have found the cancer. Things may get more serious and sooner rather than later.

After getting home and feeding Tangmo a snack I stripped off my dog-smelly clothes straight into the washing machine and showered off any further lingering dog juices.

Something I learned today?

With talk of operations and chemotherapy Amy told me about how Thai people she knows who have suffered similar medical issues in Australia had to pay very little for treatment there if they were covered by Medicare. One girl even said that she would now be dead if it had happened in Thailand as she wouldn’t have been able to pay for the treatment. Another plus for Australia.

What do I enjoy most about my daily life?

Morning coffee, reading books, reading comics, listening to music, talking to my students, playing guitar, writing here, post-exercise cold showers.

Which do I enjoy the most? Why do I have to choose? 

If it is something I most enjoy I would think I should do it more but I do these things just enough. If I did them more they may become less enjoyable.

I took this picture because we were taking Leo out for his walk. I want to say that is an excited look on Leo’s face and it may be, but that is also what he always looks like. Imagine just being constantly excited. It looks stressful!

Built With Blood – 11th September 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Send me down to the countryside
I’ll happily dig our ditches
For the benefit of the countrywide
Will one day lead to riches

Teach me how to let the water flow
And guard against the flood
Help each other to thrive and grow
Community built on sweat and blood

Today I’m feeling:

Pretty good though still a little rundown. My weekends are feeling the reverse of how they used to. I’m enjoying being at school during the day more than being at home. I know Amy will fill my time again when she’s back so I really should be relishing these lazy weekends of freedom. I’m not quite sure why I’m not.

Today I’m grateful for:

The last four candies I had in my car. When I got to school, the little group of kids I usually talk with were hanging out, eating breakfast. Noah looked at me with a smile and told me ‘Lin is crying’ and so she was. She had a snotty nose but didn’t look too sad. 

I tried to find out what was upsetting her and all it seemed to be was that the food she bought for breakfast tasted bad. I think she knew that it wasn’t something so serious to be crying about but perhaps it was just an overwhelming feeling of disappointment and hunger. Tears then poured off her cheeks and into her lap though as Noah, bemused, sat by and comforted her.

Later I gave her the last of my candies and she was already feeling better.

The best thing about today was:

Finishing updating the blog with the handwritten gratitude journal entries. Another book out of the way. A lot more to go but at least I’m not adding so much more these days as I write here in the app instead.

I’ll finish up the diary and old poetry book before adding another book into my bag. I only have one more old diary to go, from 1985.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

At the beginning of my class today two girls asked if they could go to get water which I allowed them to do as I took the register and handed out worksheets. I didn’t think much about what else was going on around me but soon realised when the girls turned up again five minutes totally drenched in the storm that came through. They had no way to dry off except jumping up and down and shaking themselves off and needless to say that didn’t really work. They couldn’t do my work because they would have just gotten the sheet wet but they agreed to do it home tonight. Let’s see if they do.

Something I learned today?

There is a city in China called Nagqu that is larger by area than Sweden! This ‘factoid’ seems to depend a lot on the definition of city though.

How am I using technology to make my life better?

Mainly for reading books and articles but there are probably many more that I’m already taking for granted. I am from a time when microwaves were the brand new thing, otherwise I would be scrubbing baked beans stuck on the bottom of the saucepan til this day.

The amount of information readily available now is overwhelming and I think most people are struggling to get to grips with it all.

I do still prefer the traditional methods for consuming information and entertainment such as books, comics and CDs but even these are diminishing now. I used to collect vinyl, comics and DVDs but all these things are now readily available, legal or not, at a few clicks.

I’m sometimes somewhat dubious that this makes my life better.

What is most important?

A healthy body, a healthy mind? Love? Amy? Hayden? My cats? My home? My work?
Most important….?
Is anything important?

What is in my control?
The struggle. The suffering. The stress. 
To be here. To breathe. To persevere.

This question raises more questions. Or am I just avoiding a definitive answer?
Most important to me must be myself. If I don’t take care of that how can I take care of anything else.

I took this picture because the combination of the misters in the cafe entrance garden, the downpour of rain and the dark foreboding clouds suddenly made this exit from a modern cafe feel like the beginning of an adventure into a damp and mysterious wonderland.

Hold Music – 8th September 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

We apologise for the extended delay
We’ll be with you as soon as we can
Soon is not soon enough I say
An hour to wait today was not my plan

Today I’m feeling:

About 80% this morning. I slept ok but could have gone for longer. I exercised well enough but can feel the tiredness through my body. I think I will sleep well again tonight.

(Later) Stressed for most of the day (see below)

Today I’m grateful for:

Hans, the guy I spoke to from the Westpac Fraud Department. He was efficient and helpful and dealt with my issue easily. What issue? (see below)

The best thing about today was:

Getting lots of things done whilst on hold on the phone waiting for Westpac to deal with my problem. What problem? (see below)

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I actually woke up before my alarm today as my phone had buzzed which means Amy had sent me a message. Everything else is set to Do Not Disturb until 8 a.m. 

The message she sent was asking if I had used our bank account for anything recently, which I hadn’t. It seems someone had gotten hold of my card information and used it a couple of times before the bank, Westpac, automatically blocked it. As we have a joint account, Amy got a message saying both our cards have been suspended. 

I got to school thinking more about my classes and after the first one was done went to House for coffee in preparation for calling the bank. My first try was 30 minutes of waiting without success and I asked Amy to try, knowing it was unlikely she would be able to do anything as it was my card that had been used. She waited for an hour and a half to find that out too, calling me to tell me to try again. With less than two hours until my next class, after about 40 minutes of waiting I spoke to someone in India who verified that I was who I said I was and then told me to wait whilst they put me through to the fraud department and do it was I was waiting and watch time tick away for my class to start. After about 45 more minutes, Hans answered and within about a minute, opened a case and told me the money should get returned in a couple of weeks.

I dashed back to school only five minutes late in the end and had to deal with hot sweaty impatient teenagers, one of whom got emotional and started crying. Several students skipped out too and I told their homeroom teacher that I’d marked them absent in the system. 

I tried to destress myself by talking with students who were hanging out around school and the park but I have really only just managed to unwind in the late evening.

Something I learned today?

One of my new students, Jin, will change schools next semester purely because there will be no van to pick her up next semester. Kids are at the mercy of the weird system that is in place here, and at the mercy of their own economic situations.

I also found out that Namthip and Dena skipped a class yesterday and were given a final warning that they would be kicked out if they did it again. I was a bit surprised to hear that it was them, to be honest, and then to realise that Dena had skipped out of my class just then too!

What song always puts me in a good mood?

An interesting question. I don’t often listen to music to put myself in a good mood and the music that makes me happy is not really that uplifting. Having said that I have about 100 songs I can play rhythm guitar along with these days and I always enjoy the Volcano Suns songs the most and save them til last. Impossible to pick just one though.

I took these pictures (Namkhing sneakily taking one when I wasn’t looking) because despite the stressful day some of us were having there was still a lot of fun and laughter.
Top to bottom, left to right; Namkhing, Pleng, Aoey, Pang, Khaofang and Husna (who had suddenly come to life after complaining of feeling sick when there was work to be done).
Why all girls? All the boys just sit and stare at their phones all day and barely interact with each other, let alone with me.

Difficult Days – 31st August 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Give me a bad day
To show you who I am
Disturb my applecart
And mess with my plan

Look at you, all smiles
The sun, it always shines
The measure of the man
Is found in difficult times

An easy day for me
Fills me with compassion
For those facing struggle
And life comes down a-crashing

So give me a bad day
I’m gonna turn it around
Enduring all the pain
With this attitude I’ve found

Today I’m feeling:

Good for pushing through exercise this morning setting me up for my long day ahead. I’m starting to run out of time each day doing all the things I want to do and I think something is going to have to go and that will be TV and YouTube videos. I’m already cutting down just because of lack of time. Focus on the things I really prefer and enjoy to be doing. Stop wasting time.

Today I’m grateful for:

The language learning app Drops which I use to study Thai but which I have also asked a couple of my poorer students, Namsai and Nomsen, to use to study English and they checked it out this afternoon and seemed find it a little more compelling than Duolingo. I will introduce more of my classes to Drops instead and in the future. I think it is a slightly better learning tool despite not offering any opportunities to speak.

The best thing about today was:

Kinda improvising a lesson with one of my classes today and having it go really well. 

The original lesson I had planned wasn’t going to be long enough so I picked up a worksheet about ordinal numbers (they always struggle when asked what the date is) that could fill up the time. I started with it as I was expecting it to only take a few minutes. 

As they were getting themselves used to ordinal numbers I figured a best way to remember them was by doing birthdays so I went around the class asking everyone and writing them on the board. I noticed some smart students grabbing pictures so they could remember their classmate’s birthdays.

Once we had all the birthdays I got everyone and asked them to form a line from the first birthday of the year to the last and then spent 10 minutes sorting themselves out and finally I took a photo of them all.

By now time was too short to finish my planned lesson too. So I got them all to write the list of names in the order that had just just stood. This took them a good thirty minutes and I could see everyone puzzling out which name came next until finally they were done. To end, a long Kahoot to reinforce their learning. Everyone was happy and maybe they even learned something.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I decided I needed to catch up a handful of students in one class and the best way to do was to clear out the rest of the students so these ones could concentrate better. 

The class went well with the nine students, without all the usual distractions. They were initially a little miffed at their classmates going off for free time but soon understood the faster they got to it the sooner they’d be able to leave. 

With some slow careful explanations, I could see some twinkling of understanding in most of them. They finished with 30 minutes spare and off they went and off I went to House for extra coffee. 

Whilst I was there I got a message from our department head asking why my students were in the library at the time I was supposed to be teaching them. I got a little annoyed at this at first but I knew that it needed an explanation so I replied doing so. I didn’t get any reply.

Something I learned today?

Scientists have synthesised sugar out of carbon dioxide. Neat!

I took this picture because I wanted a record of the kids doing today’s lesson and lining up in birthday order. There are a few hilarious kids in this class and I hope this picture will be a useful reminder.

The Review – 28th August 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Not so easily impressed these days
I’m still glad of what you’re doing
I remember those times and ways
As I often find myself reviewing

So go ahead and tell your tale
As has been done many times before
One day recognition will come
You too can review the score

Today I’m feeling:

Much better after the sleepy weekend. My exercise felt easier this morning and I hope that continues throughout the week. I was also happy to be back at school and to see everyone. My students help improve my own emotional well-being.

Today I’m grateful for:

The receptionist at the hospital who advised the doctor I wanted to see only worked in the morning today but would be back tomorrow. It was a simple exchange but even that can be a struggle with our language barriers. Her English was better than my Thai but with a mix of both, we sorted it immediately. I’ll go back tomorrow.

The best thing about today was:

Having a reasonably long discussion with JubJib, mostly about other students.  She’s a smart kid and her English is excellent which is a rarity at school so it was nice to be able to have a complete, flowing conversation for a change. We’ve talked often before but usually get interrupted quickly just with there being so many kids around.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Watching a replay of yesterday’s AFL game between the Swans and the Demons. Finally, a game in which we played really well though we lost. This, after the last six or so games where we haven’t been that great but managed to win. No games this coming weekend and the following will see us play Carlton in Melbourne. Likely to be a quick exit for the Swans this year.

Something I learned today?

Yesterday one of my students posted a picture of her arm after she had tried cutting it. I talked with her today and she didn’t say anything (she’s VERY quiet usually) but I told her that if she did want to talk then I would be there for her.
She was very happy in the class today though I’m uncertain if it was because I talked to her or if there is something worse going on at home that makes her happier to be at school.
I thought this because a few students have told me they prefer to be at school rather than at home.

What is an upcoming milestone worth celebrating?

I’m not a big celebrater or care about milestones particularly. 

I had plans to have a big show for my 50th birthday in Sydney but when the time came I was living in Adelaide and working night shift, and Amy was in Thailand. 

I’ve not been big on birthdays or Christmas once I ‘grew up’ and I didn’t really get back into them when Hayden was growing up either. I kind of grudgingly did it!

If 60 was thought of as an upcoming milestone in still not sure how I would celebrate it. I don’t need a milestone or celebration to be happy. I’d rather just be contented all the time.

I took this picture because I was shocked to see this sudden tall protrusion from this plant. This one is growing even bigger than the one we had a couple of years ago. When the hell did it grow like this? I feel sure it wasn’t there yesterday!

Fleeting – 24th August 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Watching the world wake up
Waiting for the rain
It’s just another day
Same – but not the same

Weary-eyed, sleep-walkers
Coffee got them going
It’s business as usual
Yesterday’s news a-flowing

Not for me, not today
It’s time to break the mould
To sit and try to understand
All the stories I’ve been told

If we could live on words
There’s plenty here for eating
Why the morning feels more real
As each day passes, fleeting

inspired by this post at Spinning Visions

Today I’m feeling:

A little vague with heavy eyelids. Exercise got me going but driving to work I was distracted and forgetting how I’d even got to where I was. I know it’s the extra exercise making me tired but I’ve gotta try and keep it going. My body is benefitting and I need to get over the hump and get used to it, become a habit.

Today I’m grateful for:

Yet another half day with no classes affording me time to catch up on more reading and writing with my coffees. 

I went upstairs to see who was in the classroom of what was usually my first class of the day. There were six students and when I asked where the rest were they told me that they’d gone to one of their dorm rooms. Amusingly they confirmed that they went there to sleep more. The idea though was that they go to the Science Day event rather than study with me. Sleep was not what they should miss my class for!

Never mind, I was taking advantage of the event too.

Whilst I was talking to those students I was feeling a little tired and slurring my words a little. One of them offhandedly remarked that I looked stoned. That reminded me that perhaps the effects of yesterday evening’s cannabis oil hadn’t quite worn off.

The best thing about today was:

At 6.30 pm sitting on the terrace in the cool air, writing here and hearing the drip drops of rain approaching from across the fields which became a steady fall, the windblown droplets cooling my skin even further. The rain is damn cold but I’m also thoroughly enjoying the feeling, sitting under cover and watching the water drip from the roof. Cap is sitting at the door looking out in comfort behind the screen.  I think it will be an early night for me tonight.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I’ve been sleeping very well this week partly because of increasing my morning exercise routines but also aided by a couple of drops of cannabutter. One downside of that though was last night feeling sure that I had done my daily language learning only to discover this morning that I hadn’t done any at all! I also haven’t been able to read as many comics as usual, just feeling that I can’t keep my eyes open.

Something I learned today?

I’ve followed bits and pieces about Russia and the war in Ukraine and I understand very little about the involvement of the Wagner group. It felt like Western media was making a big deal over an alleged coup by the Wagner group and the words of its leader Prigozhin who ended up in Belarus. The Wagner group was then mentioned to be involved in Africa trying to counter armed interference from Western allies. Today, a small aircraft Prigozhin was on, crashed, killing everyone on board. There is sure to be more to that story.

I guess in some ways I’ve learned again that I know nothing.

What is the best gift I have ever given?

I’m struggling to even think about any gifts I have given!

There was the iPhone I bought for Amy when I came to Thailand but that was spoiled by the immigration officials who wanted the tax paid on it when I arrived. An iPhone is not really special either – it was more the surprise that I wanted Amy to get.

There were all the drawings of Amy and her friends that I did for our anniversary. That was a bit more special and personal.

Ok, here’s one. Back in 2013, I planned to go to Yogyakarta. Kimi and Sikin were disappointed that they couldn’t afford to meet me there so I bought them tickets. In the lead-up to that visit, I was suddenly retrenched and worried about spending too much money so I ended up cancelling my trip whilst Kimi and Sikin were still able to go! I shouldn’t have cancelled that trip but the future was feeling a bit uncertain at the time.

I took this picture because I was surprised to find Tigger in here, although as you can see he doesn’t all fit. All our cats constantly swap their favourite places and it feels like they wish that they could occupy them all at the same time to stop each other from stealing their spots. There’s something to be said for only owning one cat. But if we ever get more cats in the future I’d really like to get two or three brother and sister kittens. That would be great to watch them grow together and hopefully love each other more than our current cats do.

Loyal Bones – 22nd August 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Loyal bones are buried everywhere in the green hills*
It’s not the revolutions that make our end
For the good of all may be the bitterest of pills
But is just a moment of the life you’ll spend

The mountains green, the never-ending seas
They belong to us, all of our humanity
They can be divided in any way we please
For the good of everyone’s sanity

Your loyal bones will be all too soon forgotten
But the paths you made will be followed
Each generation new bones become rotten
After those bitter pills have been swallowed

*This line is from Xi Jinping

Today I’m feeling:

Very good and relaxed again. Even though I’m not excited about having to take Tigger to the vet again after work I feel like I have the energy to get me through. Today was the second day doing double exercise and though it’s tough I’m feeling better for it.

Today I’m grateful for:

Meeting my grade 10 students by chance in the library and having good meaningful conversations with them. Outside the classroom, there is more space to relax and chat and they were very keen and didn’t want me to leave. We struggled by with their poor English, my poor Thai and translation. It was nice, though I had planned to do some printing and ran out of time.

The best thing about today was:

As this semester nears its end I feel like all my classes clearly understand what I require of them. This was exemplified today with my grade 8 class whom I gave work to do before my class and they understood that if they did the work beforehand they could just show me, fix any errors and then they were free to go at class time.

Along with the conscientious kids, all the usually lazy ones are the first to get it done because they want to be finished for the day as soon as they can. There’s about half the class that don’t worry either way but I can see them working together to do the work quickly during class time. 

They are learning the benefits of getting the job done at least and don’t complain at me any more!

At the same time, I have made my life easier too!

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Taking Tigger to the vet and I’m stuck on the highway in a non-moving traffic jam. I can’t even see ahead to what is causing it and I’m imagining that some workers are stupidly doing something at rush hour because that happens here often.

(later) It was. Laying drains to stop flooding. Why do it in the rainy season! Why do it during the day and at rush hour?

Something I learned today?

Sinead O’Connor has died. I never really got into her music but I did respect her in some ways. She seemed to be an outsider, stuck inside the music industry. In my old one-sheet giveaway fanzine Fuck Around each issue I dedicated a section to a picture of her titled Sinead O’Corner and left it without any context. I just thought she was attractive with her tomboy hair. As I perceived her as an underdog I rooted for her. Ripping up a picture of the Pope on live TV gained my deepest respect.

Do I spend more time thinking about the future or the past?

The past of course! That’s what this whole bloggedy business is all about. 

I don’t really remember thinking much about the future before 1994. To be honest I had no ideas before that. Now that 30 more years have passed there’s more of my life gone by than I can expect to come. Whatever the future brings is ok.

I took these pictures because I went in to see my old students and found many of them in deep sleep. What a crazy country. I like it. School here is just totally unlike what I experienced. This is where culture starts.