Tag: sexuality

Idle Idol – 27th April 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

He’s a girl and she’s a boy
Both of them a producers toy
Under makeup and bright lights
The manufactured product fights
A name that is soon forgotten
A past that’s found to be rotten
Fans are either for or against
It’s impossible to sit on the fence
If there are brains behind the mask
Showing it may be too much to ask
Flooded with undeserved affection
Failing to pass closer inspection
So idols get what they deserve
A fame that is unable to preserve
And so idle under adulation
Until another steps up to the station

Today I’m feeling:

Ok. My neck is super sore from not moving it much for a month. I did a mini warm-up this morning and will try to make it a little longer each day to prepare for my usual wake-up routine. I know this makes me feel better but just can’t motivate myself during the holiday.

Today I’m grateful for:

Finding salad today at the walking market. It was pretty good though a little different to the one I usually get. For some reason, I’ve been wanting for salad recently. I think my normal seller may have given up because it’s been so long since I’ve seen them. Business is tough out there and everyone is trying to make their baht.

The best thing about today was:

Cap has spent most of the day with me and I’ve been grooming him and cutting his dreadlocks. His hair feels gorgeous again as does Tig’s, I think because of the special gel that we used to feed Kim to help counter her leukaemia.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I don’t feel there was anything today. If there was something I must have handled it without thinking and accepted it as reality.

Something I learned today?

I came across a video to help getting students to quiet down and concentrate in the classroom. I’m thinking I will try the Simon Says technique where I can bring the whole class back to focus by saying ‘Simon says stand up’ and the kids paying attention will do it and the kids that aren’t will want to know what’s going on. I also need to drill them with this in the first week so they get used to it. I hope I have better control this year. Over myself and the students.

What is my favourite photo of the past month?

With the bad air and the tragic start to this month, my mind focused a lot on pictures of Kim and they still make me sad to look at. But looking through the pictures I can see that there are still some nice ones there. Ones I will appreciate in time.

I took this picture because I took a few detours on the way home from Utopia and fresh growth smells were returning to perfume the air. But this picture shows the devastation across the mountains from fire. I don’t think these would have been burned deliberately but more likely from other small fires getting out of control.

Pleasure’s real or is it fantasy? – 21st July 2020

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 1 Comment

Dark and rainy but I’m happy. Five-minute exercise with a few squats and foot exercises – can I fix my feet? Dream – I know I didn’t want to wake up because I wanted to know what happened but now I don’t remember what it was about. Earlier I dreamt about giving Matthew Sherlock (an old school friend) a blow job – he had a skinny dick. What’s the meaning?

I’ve been thinking recently about how over time everyone will be more open to each other about any sexuality so that we will all experiment with everything. A few generations away. Have a good day Shaun – happy.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful that is easy for me to listen to podcasts in the car and I’m enjoying listening to this one (You Don’t Know Mojack) about all the SST releases. Very interesting.

To-do list

  • #1 – awards game
  • Gratitude, mantra, compliments
  • Listen first, speak later

These entries seem to be going a little by the wayside at the moment. A little because I have been busy transferring old DVD burns back to mp4 files. I mentioned to George that I was doing this and he asked me ‘why’, as if he couldn’t comprehend it.

It made me wonder a little too and I realised that I enjoy cataloguing and ordering things. I always seem to be in this process. Now I’m looking at my photos, physical and on my computers, cataloguing my life and 1994 diary, CDs, music files etc. I don’t think I’ll ever stop. It’s mostly pointless and time-consuming but for some reason, it makes me happy.

School has been fun and I’m enjoying teaching these new classes. The environment and other teachers are all pleasant and contribute significantly to the good feeling. I feel good and self-confident almost all the time now.

The Week That Was – 19th August 1979

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 1 Comment

Record of the week: Cutouts – D.I.Y.
Highest entry: Crusaders – Street Life

6th Jun 2022 – The Cutouts D.I.Y. is a great quirky tune, of its time, much in line with early Devo, XTC and Cardiac Arrest (pre-Cardiacs) though not quite as manic. There’s a tune on the guitar practice app I use (Yousician) that reminds me of this too. It’s fun to play and takes me exactly to 1979! Street Life has some cool funky elements but production values were already changing in this pop genre to what would become very familiar in the 80s.

19th August 1979
Nothing memorable today.
Saturday bought a book of cars and a special 12″ limited edition of Hersham Boys
2p 167p*

20th August 1979
Carnival in Aldeburgh
Bought some things
2p 165p*

6th Jun 2022 – No recollection of Aldeburgh so I had a look on the map. I believe Eileen and Dick lived in Saxmundham, at least, that name rings a bell and Aldeburgh is not far away. Finding photos of Aldeburgh too, upsets me a little that I don’t remember anything about it.

What I love about doing this investigation is seeing all these Olde English names again on the map. After watching The Last Kingdom over the last 12 months it’s interesting to see how names have changed or been influenced over time.

I’m a little bit more interested in English history than I was in school where things like the cavaliers and roundheads got boring very quickly. None of that stuff was given any context (that I remember anyway). Being a teacher now makes me think about the tough job my teachers had with me and my classes. How to make a class interesting for everyone?

21st August 1979
TBX B MBNCPSHIJOJ VSSBDP T
SAW A LAMBORGHINI URRACO S
2p 163p*

6th Jun 2022 – Perhaps inspired by old war movies I started working on secret codes, though this one is pretty straightforward – no need for a Turing machine.

22nd August 1979
Arsenal 0-2 Ipswich
TBX B NBUSB TJNDB CBHIFSSB
SAW A MATRA SIMCA BAGHEERA
2p 161p*

23rd August 1979
1. Cliffie
2. Boomtown Rats
3. BA Robertson
4. Ian Dury
5. EWF
6. Darts
7. Sham 69
8. Specials
9. Abba
10. ELO
2p 159p*

24th August 1979
Come back from East Anglia
My room’s fucking bloody mess because of a puff
2p 157p*

6th Jun 2022 – Whilst we were away, Lorna and Jim would have stayed over and my cousin Elise would stay in my room. On this occasion, I had pinned string across various parts of the room to make it difficult to move around. Of course, she would’ve immediately taken it all down and thought I was an idiot!

But I was annoyed that she had done this and resorted to the common insult of calling her a puff, without knowing what it even meant. Probably we all called each other that at school.

I wonder if anyone that I went to school with was gay or not? There’s definitely no one that stands out. Being gay was still often derided then and coming out was a real big deal. Here, in the classrooms of Thailand, it is very obvious who is gay and no one cares. There may still be some in the closet but being an extravagant extrovert gay-as teenager is very common here. Girls too, have no problem, talking about liking girls. It is refreshing.

25th August 1979
Wolves 3-0 Ipswich
2p 2p 153p*