Tag: shopping

Through Confusion – 13th April 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 5 Comments

Sometimes I wonder what I’m looking for
Why there’s no handle for this door?
What glimmers from the forest floor?
Confused by all these questions

A calm demeanour to maintain
Despite the urge to not remain
Too tired and weary to explain
Confused by all the answers

But I own myself, I’m not for sale
Despite the loss, I cannot fail
Collecting thoughts to fairytale
Confused by all the stories

I went from green to red to green
Saw many things I’ve never seen
I’ve become what I’ve always been
Learning through all this confusion

Written for Ovi Poetry Challenge – maintenance, WDYS #233, Writer’s Workshop Prompts – sale and dVerse – green. Also submitted to NaPoMo.

Today I’m feeling:

A little bleary.  Coffee hasn’t done its magic.

A disappointing practice of guitar has got me down and now the blaring PA system of the neighbours celebrating Songkran is annoying me.  I just want quiet – to think, to read.  It was fun to see the children preparing to start splashing everyone this morning though.

The skies are clearer than the last few weeks, there’s some breeze and the temperature quite bearable.  Only one thing for us to do today – shopping.

Today I’m grateful for:

Art giving me a free cake for Songkran today.

Also, Amy wanting to go to Big C and allowing me to drop a couple of things in the trolley that I wanted.  

She also paid for Swenson’s ice cream for our dessert – which was great and all but nothing on LungChom’s ice cream.

Needless to say, I’m putting on weight this month.

The best thing about today was:

Finding a baby cow at the front door!

We both heard some mooing outside our living room window but it sounded to me as if it was in the field at the back.  A few minutes later we heard it at the front, though thought it was still coming from the field next door.

A second time though and we went to investigate to find the little cutie confused on how to get back to its mum that was calling from the field next door.

We were eventually able to usher it out and back where it immediately got to suckling and security.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Both Baipad and Anchan have been out of contact for a couple of days.  

There’s nothing to be done, I just hope that they are both doing ok for now.

Something I learned today?

I found a very funny comedian on YouTube called Dan Rath.  He’s from Sydney too.

What’s a question I’ve been pondering lately?

I have been thinking a little about what is next?  Am I just going to keep on documenting my life up until this point without really adding anything further to it?  Am I done?  

I am weirdly happy and satisfied though.  

Or am I just old, tired and lazy?  

Pondering questions raises more questions.

I took this picture because we take pictures of our visitors.

Proof – 3rd March 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

My cup is always half-full
I counter the push and pull
You cannot pull the wool
Over my eyes

This game of life is fun
Whether in snow or sun
Today is another one
Of the best

Even when shadows fall
I can counter them all
There will be no wall
I cannot jump

Like Sisyphus, I will climb
Loving each moment in time
Living this life of mine
To the fullest

Submitted to Ovi Poetry Challenge 37: POSITIVITY

“And in the pain, there is strength.”

As a depressed teenager I carved LIFE IS PAIN into my arm. It is a constant reminder. I live for the struggle.

Where I now teach, some students were wasting time in class playing a (pretty dumb) video game. I asked them what they got out of it and they said it was fun and they learned that by driving the car faster they earned more points.

I asked them how this was useful in real life and they had no answer. I told them that life is not fun. They looked at me seriously and asked me what it was and I sure told them…. LIFE IS PAIN.

To reiterate the point I twisted their arms behind their backs until it hurt and asked them – WHAT IS LIFE!? PAIN, PAIN – they screamed.

We all laughed (please don’t imagine that I am some sort of ruthless prison guard with my hyperbole) and they went back to their game.

But one day…..they will remember this.

Today I’m feeling:

Positive and happy. With Amy off for the day, I will take some time to catch up on emails and writing.

Today I’m grateful for:

The twenty-baht shop where I bought more light bulbs. The lady there is an attractive and young-looking woman but today I discovered, and couldn’t believe, that she has a daughter who looks about 8 or 9 years old. The daughter was curious about me and when I gave her a wink she broke out a big smile.

The best thing about today was:

It’s been a pretty lazy relaxing afternoon with a bit of reading and watching YouTube.  Watering the garden was about as good as it gets.  I want to see things grow, grow, grow.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Although it was in my control I ended up spending about 1000 baht today, buying coffee, light bulbs, soda water and remembering to order the car seat covers on Lazada.  No more inessentials for the rest of the month now….

Something I learned today?

From Rise of the Global South Telegram group: Swedish Diplomat Count Folke Bernadotte Personally Saved 31K Jews from Nazi Concentration Camps – He was Shot Dead by Members of the Jewish Stern Gang in Jerusalem in 1948

He was killed at point-blank range in a motorcade ambush after writing a UN report based on the devastated Palestinian villages he personally witnessed.

The go-ahead for the murder came from the future Prime Minister of Israel, Yitzhak Yezernitsky.

Israel knew the names of the men who committed the murder, yet nobody was charged.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I took Amy to the city and the family to the temple for Grandmum’s 100-day prayers. Then, I dropped Mum and Dad home, picked up Aor and dropped her and Amy at Paew’s. My taxi duties done for the day.

25 THINGS ABOUT LIFE I WISH I HAD KNOWN 10 YEARS AGO –  23. Create Something. Not to leave a legacy, you won’t be here to see it anyway, but to be of use. Make music, write a book, build a table, anything. You’ll feel good about yourself, plus you give something back to people to use or enjoy.

Growing up I always seemed to be creating something (apart from a nuisance), from artwork, poetry and lyrics, music (of a sort), then creating or advancing a scene in the Sydney DIY space, producing records and so on.

I’m proud of the things that I have done and consider it my legacy but only for myself to enjoy.  It has all made me feel good about myself and I know I have inspired others with some of the things I have created and seen them get enjoyment from them too.  Every day I still create something.

I took this picture at temple prayers for Grandmum and while not having any connected belief to this or any faith, I did find this short ceremony quite comforting.

The Newness – 23rd December 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Removed from the mundane
The newness shines a light
It’s simple to explain
Why it burns so bright

Let the first kiss remain
The nowness such a delight
Unsure and unsteady aim
But dressed to win the night

Today I’m feeling:

Good in the morning after sleeping pretty well for almost 11 hours.  I woke up on and off in the early hours as Tigger was complaining that the sun was coming up and that meant eating time!  We stayed on for another couple of hours as he came and went with his chit chat.

After coffee, massage and spicy hot pot though I fell back into a doze whilst listening to Sorry’s albums, one of which I had to play again as I totally missed it in a deep sleep.  I couldn’t get going again after that.  My body is catching up with all the energy it has exerted with exercise this week.  But I also feel good.

Today I’m grateful for:

The lady at the hot spring that gave me a massage this morning.  Nothing out of the ordinary but the time flashed by and it was a good way to start the day (after coffee, which is the essential way to start the day!)

The best thing about today was:

The cooler weather that let us enjoy our home, both inside and out.  I joked with Hayden that it’s t-shirt weather, in this case, meaning it’s cold enough to put on a t-shirt.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

In the morning Amy was talking about going to a jazz restaurant this evening, the thought of which didn’t excite me much.  It is nice to go and do things together but I love being at home in my free time doing all the things I enjoy.  I don’t have the urge to go out much anymore now I’ve found my contentment.

Something I learned today?

The German government stated that if Europe wants to complete its ‘energy transition’, it needs control of massive lithium reserves.  And those reserves are located in Donetsk-Luhansk (now technically part of Russia).

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

Over the last two days I’ve been messaging my student Earn and encouraging her to think about all the things she likes about herself.  She finds it very easy to find five things to do with her looks, she’s a cute kid and knows it, so I pushed her in the direction of her personality and beliefs and she stumbles a bit here as she lacks some self-confidence. 
I was surprised she told me that she doesn’t think that she is a very nice person.  That’s some good self-awareness but a surprising thing to admit, especially if you think it is a negative trait.  I guess it goes hand in hand with low self-confidence.  I gave her more positive feedback which she appreciated.

I took Amy to all the shops that she wanted to go to for ingredients this morning and carried the bags.

When summonsed I dug some holes for Amy to plant some cactuses around the garden.

Namkhing took this picture because Nicha wanted a selfie and I said she’d have to take it so then she roped in NK to do it and after taking the pictures she jokingly added this shot as she was handing back my phone. We were out on the football fields after school yesterday watching the girl’s teams play soccer. It was a lot of fun. No new pictures today.
Namkhing, Fah, Nicha and me, monkeying around.

Hulk Think! – 24th July 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Our society is wealthy enough to meet our needs
Yet organised such that violence is needed to survive
Fight not crime but instead, fight those who create it
A real civil society dictates what it means to be alive

inspired and paraphrased from Existential Comics 507

Today I’m feeling:

Slept badly and though I know I’m tired I also know today is an easy day, at least beyond the fact that we are running around doing my visa which is a stress all by itself. 

I forced myself to exercise a little this morning even though my routine is disrupted by Amy being here and us running around doing things.

Sometimes I can see how old people get grumpy when routines are broken. I don’t want to get set in my ways but I do want to get back into an exercise routine again.

Today I’m grateful for:

The visa officer who was kind and helpful and despite us having a small issue with a bank statement he allowed my visa to be processed and I have to go back in September hopefully to receive another year’s grace. 

The process is always stressful and has Amy wound up and I try my hardest to not bite and stay calm. Having not slept well I managed until around 11 am and was starting to flag. Whether Amy sensed that or not I’m not sure but I perked up when she decided, out of the blue, to buy me some nice shirts. Later in the day I also found some nice cheap work pants too. 

The best thing about today was:

Having the free time to deal with all the visa bullshit without too much hassle and still get back to hanging out with the kids at lunchtime and for my single class. Then back to shopping at the mall.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I lost my temper a little at the end of my class today as we were running out of time and a few girls were playing TikTok dancing on their phones. It passed quickly when I took the phone away and told them that they could get it back from their homeroom teacher at the end of the day. When the class finished one of the girls stayed behind and was suitably contrite, asking for the phone back. I was okay to do that this time with a reminder that next time it will definitely happen.

Something I learned today?

I found out that the visa officers at immigration get their lunchtime coffees at House. They came in as I was leaving today.

What are some activities or hobbies that bring me joy?

Joy? Sometimes when I’m riding my motorbike I get a feeling approaching joy. The smells, the air (when it’s clean), the cool of the shade, the freedom to discover. 

In the classroom, there are occasions when joy erupts, which is less easy when you’re on the teaching side of the equation.

Otherwise, there are times of happiness, satisfaction and fun but joy is not an emotion I particularly need to chase after. Small brief moments are preferable.

Takky took this picture because, for my visa application, we have to take photos in our bedroom, outside our front gate and, for this year, we turned the teaching room into our living room as Amy entertained there last night.

Moron Convention – 11th December 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Janky parking in entitled lots
The prize to get has got to be gots
The hustled and hustlers dancing in jitters
A microcosm of moronic critters
Overrun with amateurs, unable to discern
Anything beyond their own concern
Grown men anxious and chomping at bits
Losing their minds in explosive fits
Society and humanity seemingly forgotten
The race to the top has now reached the bottom
Used to a life full of broken noses
Shop til you drop, or at least til it closes

Embrace all obstacles as learning experiences, as means to getting stronger.

Robert Greene

Today I’m feeling:
Content and tired
Today I’m grateful for:
Nong May, Amy’s cousin (?), for driving me to get coffee in Lampang. Also dad for driving on the way in the morning, and mum for paying for lunch.
The best thing about today was:
I really enjoyed driving back from Lampang for the first hour. My neck got sore after that though. I also enjoyed lucid dreams again on the way there and was amazed it was already 11am when we got there. The drive only felt like 30 minutes to me but was almost 4 hours. Also meeting the little girl doing dot-to-dot in the cafe whilst I was waiting for coffee. She was very cute and curious.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Most of the day was out of my control and I had already accepted this beforehand.
Something I learned today?
Why do I struggle to recall things at the end of the day? Does information logged in my brain stay in there? Is it useful? Does it only get activated when triggered by something relevant? I suppose that makes sense. Or am I going through days without learning anything at all?
I did learn it was Nong Fah’s birthday today, thanks to a notification in LINE!
What’s your favourite time of day?
Sunrise and golden hour are both up there. Birth and death. Why? The living and sleeping parts don’t hold the same appeal? Like the land meeting the sea is more special than being in the ocean or the middle of the land. Do special things only happen at the edges?

I took this picture because this was the pretty garden area behind the restaurant we ate lunch at in Lampang. There were some amazing mountains along the way but I was driving and couldn’t take pictures.

The Party – 14th October 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Temporary swarms buzz and circle
Conversations bend or disappear
Nests break and reconfigure
With new formations becoming clear
An idler on the roof above
Monitors the party in motion
Follows every dip and rise
As if floating on the ocean
Plans discussed, pleasantries exchanged
Jokes told to absurd laughter
Approaches made, compliments fired
And plans afoot for what comes after

a scene from Titus Alone by Mervyn Peake

To live is to war with trolls in heart and soul. To write is to sit in judgement on oneself.

Henrik Ibsen

Today I’m feeling:
Content and lazy
Today I’m grateful for:
Being able to easily buy snacks and treats for myself at shops nearby and having the money to do it. I’m far away from any major commerce but through the effort of 1000s of people, I can buy yoghurt, blue cheese, chips and toilet paper at stores just a 10-minute drive away.
The best thing about today was:
Listening to Kurws. Great band making interesting music for a decade or so. Today has been a very lazy day after returning from shopping at 10am. I haven’t done much of what I normally do but I’m fine with it. I’m getting used to this quiet life and not having a frenzy in my head of having to do things out of obligation, though I do recognise and appreciate that driving force at times. I know I will get that feeling back in a week or two when school starts again so in the meantime I’m enjoying the freedom to listen to as much music as I can.

I took this picture because… come on, how cute is that! This is from a couple of months ago but I’ve been so lazy to go anywhere and take any interesting pictures today. Even in the garden. I suppose I could have found something beautiful at the shops… Pictures are not usually on my mind when shopping though, usually just want to get in and out as quick as possible.

Poems on this day – 18th May 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Now I Know Too Much

Once I was young and stupid
But my head was full of dreams
Now I’m older and know too much
Everything is exactly what it seems

Gone are the days of wonder
Staring into the night sky
Now I’m older and wiser
My time has passed me by

If I could take my wisdom
Back into my past
Live my life all over again
Live every day as if my last

Last Poem

A poem these days is a question
Statements less obvious as I age
I learned that I know little
But I always return to the page

Am I questioning you
For an answer in reply?
Or just repeating life’s queries
As we all do before we die?

I really have no expectation
Just floating my thoughts in the air
There’s always more to learn
On the path to becoming aware

How far I am in my journey?
I guess I’ll never know
This could be my last poem
It may be my time to go

Chosen and Peculiar

It may seem a little odd
When I say ‘I am the one’
A singular lightning rod
Pointed at the sun

I know my reason
Though it may not be clear
It may not be my season
Yet my day is coming near

When the sun flares
With energy to fuel ya’
I’m beyond those cares
Chosen and peculiar

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for the extra money I could earn working for Ellen this past month or so. I went shopping at Big C and online and good having spare cash.

Imagination turns thoughts – 22nd September 2020

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Tried dictating to the computer to record these but it’s difficult to talk and think sometimes – tells you something!

Nice dreams, didn’t want them to stop – Amy and I were at a public bath with Chris and Hillary – I don’t remember why or how.

I wasn’t tired last night – slept late. Feel okay now after exercise.

First Thai lesson today. Nervous but know it will be okay.

Look forward to coffee as always. Thoughts flip down the river but don’t come now as I’m writing. My stuck mind.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful that I went shopping yesterday which gave me plenty of time to do things I want to do today

To-do list

  • Five compliments.

I’m always complimenting students and Amy so I don’t count those. I managed four compliments today. I will try for five again tomorrow.

The Chiang Rai Alternative Hour #24 – 8th February 2020

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Music from Bob Drake, The Work, DMBQ, FLIRT, Neutral Sons, Prag, Brainticket, Grobschnitt, Appollonius Abraham Schwarz, The Sweet, The Dazzling Killmen.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to see Oh’s puppies again and thankful she gave us a place to stay for one night.

To-do list

  • Stay relaxed – it’s a mini-holiday ✅
  • Do another Smiling Mind meditation
  • Really savour something today ✅
  • 3 acts of kindness ½
  • Only buy books on your want list

Went book shopping but ended up buying a couple of extra things because I didn’t see any books on my wants list.

In the morning we went to visit Jessica’s aunt and I really savoured sitting and talking with her in her garden. Whilst we were talking she mentioned a book she really enjoyed about Afghanistan. She couldn’t remember the exact title, something about a Thousand Suns. Just as I was leaving the bookshop I spotted on the shelf ‘A Thousand Splendid Suns’ and that was the book – so I bought that too.

An enjoyable day of food and shopping.

*Angel – 18th December 1998

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Email to TLJ

Well, was a bit busy yesterday, and really there are no excuses but I failed to write you a mail so here I am!

Watched a great movie on Wed night – 6 Days 6 Nights – you have to watch it with me – it was awesome! Has Beatrice Dalle in. I’ve seen it in the video stores before but never got it out – it was on SBS so I taped it. You will love it I reckon!

Went to the city after work yesterday to do some Christmas shopping – was looking for a present for Bronwyn but I still didn’t know what to get her. I went to Market City to get some dinner – got lemon bean curd with crispy noodles – you’re supposed to have it with rice and they gave me a funny look when I asked for it with crispy noodles – like, why would you want it with that! Also had a sago dessert as usual. Was packed out for dinnertime – mostly by white people. I looked around the shops but there isn’t really that much there I reckon – I thought it was bigger.

Anyway was walking back up Pitt St and popped into Red Eye’s secondhand shop just on the off chance. Found some goddamn bargains – including a 29-track CD by Rob Crow – the singer/songwriter from Heavy Vegetable – and for 5 bucks! I walked up to the mall but couldn’t find anything suitable as a present and was getting pretty pissed off with it all. So walked back down George Street to Sponge House where Oren was playing that night. Met Oren’s girlfriend (or should I say fiance) outside with one of her friends and went for a coffee (Christain hadn’t(and didn’t) turned up).

So I asked these two ladies what I should get and they came up with a good idea of a free beauty treatment thing of some sort – like a facial etc so I was pretty pleased with that – now i just have to find somewhere that will do vouchers – and today!

Anyway, this other girl (also called Bronwyn) was a video editor so I told her about the equipment I have and may get in touch with her to come and have a look at it sometime. Went into Sponge House – you have to see it babe – it’s mad – just a little room with equipment in one corner and a bench in the other!

This girl the others there (all 9 or 10 of us) knew came and sat down and babbled on about some records she’d bought and then said she’d been around all the sex shops and around Chinatown giving out flyers. I looked a little puzzled – she said “Yeah and I’ve already got one call from some guy who wants to be tied up and walked all over – fine with me!”. I was like, right-io! She was a bit barmy but quite funny and completely unpretentious – I did wonder if she was cracking on to me for some business though.

Anyways, if you’d have come you wouldn’t have been the only Asian there – one guy and one girl – not sure if they were together or not. Anyway, the music was great – Oren on guitar and Pheebee on other things – she played in Alternahunk and is quite well known (apparently!) – and it was cool to hear the traffic on George Street just outside. I was really inspired! I will try to go back there soon.

Tomorrow night is Not From There and Gerling and Sunday is Vicious Hairy Mary, a Jap band and Testicle Candy (another band Oren is involved in). I’m sure I’m gonna run out of money before Christmas!

All right babes – I keep looking forward to hearing from you – and really looking forward to seeing you again and having a big damn cuddle!