Tag: students

Built With Blood – 11th September 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Send me down to the countryside
I’ll happily dig our ditches
For the benefit of the countrywide
Will one day lead to riches

Teach me how to let the water flow
And guard against the flood
Help each other to thrive and grow
Community built on sweat and blood

Today I’m feeling:

Pretty good though still a little rundown. My weekends are feeling the reverse of how they used to. I’m enjoying being at school during the day more than being at home. I know Amy will fill my time again when she’s back so I really should be relishing these lazy weekends of freedom. I’m not quite sure why I’m not.

Today I’m grateful for:

The last four candies I had in my car. When I got to school, the little group of kids I usually talk with were hanging out, eating breakfast. Noah looked at me with a smile and told me ‘Lin is crying’ and so she was. She had a snotty nose but didn’t look too sad. 

I tried to find out what was upsetting her and all it seemed to be was that the food she bought for breakfast tasted bad. I think she knew that it wasn’t something so serious to be crying about but perhaps it was just an overwhelming feeling of disappointment and hunger. Tears then poured off her cheeks and into her lap though as Noah, bemused, sat by and comforted her.

Later I gave her the last of my candies and she was already feeling better.

The best thing about today was:

Finishing updating the blog with the handwritten gratitude journal entries. Another book out of the way. A lot more to go but at least I’m not adding so much more these days as I write here in the app instead.

I’ll finish up the diary and old poetry book before adding another book into my bag. I only have one more old diary to go, from 1985.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

At the beginning of my class today two girls asked if they could go to get water which I allowed them to do as I took the register and handed out worksheets. I didn’t think much about what else was going on around me but soon realised when the girls turned up again five minutes totally drenched in the storm that came through. They had no way to dry off except jumping up and down and shaking themselves off and needless to say that didn’t really work. They couldn’t do my work because they would have just gotten the sheet wet but they agreed to do it home tonight. Let’s see if they do.

Something I learned today?

There is a city in China called Nagqu that is larger by area than Sweden! This ‘factoid’ seems to depend a lot on the definition of city though.

How am I using technology to make my life better?

Mainly for reading books and articles but there are probably many more that I’m already taking for granted. I am from a time when microwaves were the brand new thing, otherwise I would be scrubbing baked beans stuck on the bottom of the saucepan til this day.

The amount of information readily available now is overwhelming and I think most people are struggling to get to grips with it all.

I do still prefer the traditional methods for consuming information and entertainment such as books, comics and CDs but even these are diminishing now. I used to collect vinyl, comics and DVDs but all these things are now readily available, legal or not, at a few clicks.

I’m sometimes somewhat dubious that this makes my life better.

What is most important?

A healthy body, a healthy mind? Love? Amy? Hayden? My cats? My home? My work?
Most important….?
Is anything important?

What is in my control?
The struggle. The suffering. The stress. 
To be here. To breathe. To persevere.

This question raises more questions. Or am I just avoiding a definitive answer?
Most important to me must be myself. If I don’t take care of that how can I take care of anything else.

I took this picture because the combination of the misters in the cafe entrance garden, the downpour of rain and the dark foreboding clouds suddenly made this exit from a modern cafe feel like the beginning of an adventure into a damp and mysterious wonderland.

Hold Music – 8th September 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

We apologise for the extended delay
We’ll be with you as soon as we can
Soon is not soon enough I say
An hour to wait today was not my plan

Today I’m feeling:

About 80% this morning. I slept ok but could have gone for longer. I exercised well enough but can feel the tiredness through my body. I think I will sleep well again tonight.

(Later) Stressed for most of the day (see below)

Today I’m grateful for:

Hans, the guy I spoke to from the Westpac Fraud Department. He was efficient and helpful and dealt with my issue easily. What issue? (see below)

The best thing about today was:

Getting lots of things done whilst on hold on the phone waiting for Westpac to deal with my problem. What problem? (see below)

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I actually woke up before my alarm today as my phone had buzzed which means Amy had sent me a message. Everything else is set to Do Not Disturb until 8 a.m. 

The message she sent was asking if I had used our bank account for anything recently, which I hadn’t. It seems someone had gotten hold of my card information and used it a couple of times before the bank, Westpac, automatically blocked it. As we have a joint account, Amy got a message saying both our cards have been suspended. 

I got to school thinking more about my classes and after the first one was done went to House for coffee in preparation for calling the bank. My first try was 30 minutes of waiting without success and I asked Amy to try, knowing it was unlikely she would be able to do anything as it was my card that had been used. She waited for an hour and a half to find that out too, calling me to tell me to try again. With less than two hours until my next class, after about 40 minutes of waiting I spoke to someone in India who verified that I was who I said I was and then told me to wait whilst they put me through to the fraud department and do it was I was waiting and watch time tick away for my class to start. After about 45 more minutes, Hans answered and within about a minute, opened a case and told me the money should get returned in a couple of weeks.

I dashed back to school only five minutes late in the end and had to deal with hot sweaty impatient teenagers, one of whom got emotional and started crying. Several students skipped out too and I told their homeroom teacher that I’d marked them absent in the system. 

I tried to destress myself by talking with students who were hanging out around school and the park but I have really only just managed to unwind in the late evening.

Something I learned today?

One of my new students, Jin, will change schools next semester purely because there will be no van to pick her up next semester. Kids are at the mercy of the weird system that is in place here, and at the mercy of their own economic situations.

I also found out that Namthip and Dena skipped a class yesterday and were given a final warning that they would be kicked out if they did it again. I was a bit surprised to hear that it was them, to be honest, and then to realise that Dena had skipped out of my class just then too!

What song always puts me in a good mood?

An interesting question. I don’t often listen to music to put myself in a good mood and the music that makes me happy is not really that uplifting. Having said that I have about 100 songs I can play rhythm guitar along with these days and I always enjoy the Volcano Suns songs the most and save them til last. Impossible to pick just one though.

I took these pictures (Namkhing sneakily taking one when I wasn’t looking) because despite the stressful day some of us were having there was still a lot of fun and laughter.
Top to bottom, left to right; Namkhing, Pleng, Aoey, Pang, Khaofang and Husna (who had suddenly come to life after complaining of feeling sick when there was work to be done).
Why all girls? All the boys just sit and stare at their phones all day and barely interact with each other, let alone with me.

No Fish – 6th September 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

A fish for today
A problem gone away
Tomorrow, will you be so kind?
A gift quite odd
Here’s a fishing rod
And you may eat all the fish you find

Today I’m feeling:

Ready for the day. I had a bit of a bad dream when my alarm went off. A weird story of Nong May and I walking across a street and she bumped into a guy and they both fell over. I was concerned for both of them and we ended up catching a scary bus to get to a doctor and insurance place. Everything around was getting darker and more ominous. I could’ve slept a lot longer but I was quite glad to get out of this dream.

Today I’m grateful for:

Not having caught everyone’s colds and flu so far. Many students are sick, coughing and sneezing in class. Sooner or later I will get sick for sure but so far so good. I can feel my throat is dry and itchy just when I’m writing this!

The best thing about today was:

Feeling like my Thai language learning is improving just by using it in class more often and trying to understand the kids when they speak Thai to me. Google Translate is much better than it was a couple of years ago and I can imagine we get to a point where we don’t even bother to learn languages anymore and use super fast translation instead. 

In my grade 10 class today I asked the students how often they used messaging instead of calling and it seemed to be 80/20 favouring messaging.

Will we stop talking altogether? Once we figure out converting thoughts into text maybe our mouths will only be used for eating.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Yesterday I was thinking about doing a particular exercise (running dictation) with a couple of my one-hour classes but then remembered that in previous years it had taken much longer, so I quickly switched them around to be in our two-hour classes, one of which was today. 

I was then shocked to find them finished within the hour and us having time to spare. I stretched things out before letting them do other work or free time. 

Everyone enjoyed the class, though they got hot with the running and as I had anticipated the lazier students soon got distracted but in the end, things turned out ok. I do the same exercise with another class tomorrow.

Something I learned today?

There are rumours that the terrible fires in Hawaii, which locals are saying may have killed a couple of thousand people, may have been deliberately started or at least had a deliberately delayed response as investors were looking to get the area cleared out to build a new ‘city’.  Save time and money by letting everything burn!

The locals are still struggling to receive help or even information. It sure looks like a horrible situation and is close to a modern genocide if these people are to be believed.

What random memory comes to mind right now?

This is a difficult question to answer when sitting and trying to think of it. It then becomes not random. Random memories will pop up during the day but not at the time I have this question in my mind. All the things that happened today are already memories and they are already swirling around in the quagmire of my brain.

Next time an older memory does randomly appear I’ll try to remember it and come back and add it. Or more likely I will read this sometime in the future and all the text here will be the actual random memory.

What am I taking for granted?

I think I am probably taking a lot of things for granted right now, though because of that, they are difficult for me to identify. Everyday things such as water, electricity, internet, phone, computer data, and music are almost ubiquitous and easily taken for granted and would be stressful if taken away. 

In some ways, I take Amy for granted but that is part of a relationship and we often remind each other in mostly humorous ways that we don’t do that.

Part of writing a gratitude entry every day is to be reminded not to take things for granted.

Miyor took this picture amongst a whole bunch of others because she was messing around with apps and filters etc.  I wish the kids would put as much effort into studying English! 

The Cup Spiders – 5th September 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

A cracked cup
Chipped and faded
Sits dusty behind antique glass
A spectator to many stories
Left untold

Holding congratulations aloft
Cheers to that day
Or sombre with lukewarm water
The passing of time

The spiders came
With their own tales
Making a new home
Hiding in wait
But nothing comes
All the times have died

The heat, the air
The insects and the weeds
A cup returns to earth
Still cracked, still broken
Yet still a cup

Today I’m feeling:

Strong and healthy. But also getting a little positive anxiety to start planning for next semester. It’s positive because I will use that as motivation. At the start of my exercise routine this morning I felt like I would want to fall back into bed by the end of it but I was suitably energised to get myself going. I can feel some of the exercises getting a little easier but push-ups kill me.

Today I’m grateful for:

The DuoCards app that is helping me improve my Thai learning quicker than other apps I use. I’m considering buying the subscription so that I can practice for longer. I currently use 4 free apps which are all time limited. DuoCards is a spaced repetition flashcard system similar to Anki.

The best thing about today was:

Getting a nice message from Earn after I sent her some positive reinforcement in an effort to help her combat her shyness when talking to a boy she likes. She wrote ‘i luv u t.shaun’ which comes as a big surprise as she was very rebellious and grumpy with me for a lot of the time last year. 

Also today, Fah tried to sneak away from my class this afternoon and I just happened to see her and call her back and she was a little upset and impatient at the time. I messaged her later and she is smart enough to understand that she shouldn’t have done that.

When some of my students call me ‘father’ in a loving way I sometimes think that perhaps now I am suitable and knowledgeable enough to actually be a father. But that time has come and gone. It also helps that I don’t need to see ‘my children’ for more than a couple of hours at a time!

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

For the second time, someone stole my cooling powder from the small teacher’s room where I keep my things at work. I have to remember to see if I can find keys for the lockers in one of the classrooms tomorrow.

Something I learned today?

In a speech directed at the USA Xi Jinping commented on their behaviour with a Chinese idiom along the lines of ‘blowing out everyone else’s light won’t give more light to you’. I liked that as it seems appropriate.

What is one good thing I can do for myself?

Keep going.


I took this screenshot because I thought I could use it from time to time to send to students when they are feeling a little down. I’ve been collecting other similar inspirational quotes for them since too. No new pictures today.

Ugly Duckling – 4th September 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

I lied to myself for a long time
I always understood the truth
Under the twisted thoughts of mine
Born of the immaturity of youth

It’s always a struggle, always a fight
To keep the evil demons at bay
Complacency can be found in the light
And the beasts come out to play

Finally, I sought to reject these lies
Because I was slowly killing myself
I broke the bonds of the feeblest ties
And my mind rediscovered its health

Today I’m feeling:

Good and fairly positive. I woke up with a start as my alarm went off implying that I didn’t get enough sleep. I pushed through exercise knowing I was burning up some fat stores as I didn’t eat much at all yesterday, not feeling that hungry, and weighing in under 80kg again today. Throughout the day I was surprised at how well I was feeling and I put it down to the exercise I’ve been doing which inspired me to keep it up.

Today I’m grateful for:

The packet of Tong Garden jumbo raisin medley that I mix with a small packet of party snack mix to add some texture and flavour for a pre-dinner treat.

The best thing about today was:

Being greeted by so many different students, many of whom I didn’t even know, some talking to me about other students in my classes. Everywhere I walk around school students want to talk or at least communicate with me though they can sometimes get cheekily upset when I forget their name, though I might not have spoken to them for three months. I’m slowly starting to find where each little ‘gang’ hangs out at lunchtime so if I’m in the mood and have time I will happily wander around for an hour stopping for chats, play, and sometimes even learning.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

In the morning I realised what I’d planned for my class today they had already done, so I quickly threw together a spelling test, 20 words open book and 20 words closed, along with a word search game for each.
I started the class with the word search but it soon became apparent that it was really difficult and was going to take longer than expected. As I wanted to do both word searches and tests in one hour I quickly jumped online and remade the second word search easier. Even with that though we didn’t manage to get everything done.
There are some poor students in the class who really struggle with spelling and a couple that didn’t write anything at all on the second one. I told them that it didn’t matter if they got everything wrong but they must at least try. One student did indeed get every word wrong but I could tell from what she’d written that she was at least listening and trying. That’s what I prefer, especially as opposed to some others who just copied from their friends.

Something I learned today?

I learned that two of my favourite students had a falling out a few weeks ago and I was a little surprised by it at first but on reflection it’s pretty normal for kids this age. I heard both their stories but couldn’t really get to the bottom of it and either way, I still love them both for who they are with me.

In the morning I had been updating blog entries from 1984 and was disparaging towards Rupert with whom I had been friends with just a week or two before and unfriendly a month or two before that. At that time I was a couple of years older than these two students today, which goes to show how immature I was at then despite hearing how mature I seemed from other people.

What do I hope to experience some day?

Sometimes I miss that feeling of excitement and discovery of new love but it’s been so long and I guess I’m somewhat jaded, just by my age, that if the situation ever arises again I doubt the feeling will be the same. Really, I prefer the feeling I have now anyway, of ongoing love, trust and satisfaction.

I’m avoiding the question. 

Have I had all my experiences already? I’m barely shocked or surprised at anything these days. I’m appreciative of being appreciated or rewarded with kind words or even awards but they don’t emotionally charge me at all. I feel like I’m just doing what I do. 

I guess I could do some thrill-seeking or travelling. But ultimately everything boils down to the same thing. Being in one place is much like being in another.

Okay, I hope to experience continuing happiness with my little Amy wherever we are in the world. I hope I can take my current feeling of contentment with me in whatever is next in my life.

I took this picture because this shy little cat often sleeps in the shade of my car whilst I’m drinking coffee at House. It’s too nervous for petting though.

Ask – 1st September 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

The old man looks like his life has been lived
The stories contained in the lines on his face
No more want except a smile and a seat
What would you want to be asked in his place?

picture found in a newsletter but I forget which one.

Today I’m feeling:

Positive but a little tired what with it being the end of the week. I sure don’t feel like Fridays are a big day to plan going out and getting drunk anymore. Get home and read a book. What a boring old man but I don’t care. I’ll do what I enjoy.

Today I’m grateful for:

The iron and ironing board that I have located in front of the lounge to inspire me to sit and iron the thirteen clean shirts here too. I’ll watch something interesting or listen to music to make the passing of that time more entertaining. Anyway, I’m grateful to own this equipment and that both the board and iron have served us well for more than five years already.

The best thing about today was:

As I was leaving after my first class this morning I went to see David who was preparing for his class with 2/6. I didn’t make it in to see him though as different groups of kids came to talk to me. Goya appeared in front of me holding the cutest tiny kitten and I immediately grabbed it for cuddles. I couldn’t quite get to the bottom of why she had a kitten in class and I reluctantly gave it back. Still grieving for Kim and our boys getting old, both Amy and I have told ourselves, no more cats but it’s hard to think about when there are unwanted kittens everywhere all the time. Caring for cats so much has tied us down a lot though. Today Amy said that if we didn’t have cats we would be living permanently back in Australia already. I’m finding that difficult to think about as I am feeling so contented here right now.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I had planned to spend my four free hours finishing off my grading files but when I tried to log in this morning our school was no longer listed in the system for some reason. I checked with another teacher and they had the same issue. It’s not like there was nothing else I could do in the meantime so it was only a minor annoyance and when I posted a message in our teacher’s group Kru Ren advised that the name of our school had changed for some reason and when I tried again I could get in. I updated all but one class and will get that one completed over the weekend. Bend with the breeze.

Something I learned today?

Amy messaged me that the face-tattooed German guy who ran the Bavarian bar in the city is now in a Bangkok jail and due to be deported back home to face murder charges from his time in a biker gang. I was not at all surprised by this news.

What am I looking forward to this month?

The end of it! The end of this semester and then preparing to go to Australia in October. I’m a bit tired today and started to feel a little wearisome to be teaching today though it’s enjoyable once I’m in class.

Kwang took this picture because I left my phone at my desk whilst I was helping other students. She is a smart independent tomboy, currently with a lackadaisical attitude towards studying. So long as she doesn’t go off the rails she’ll be good in the future. She also has a model-like face which she likes to hide with the mask and could be a child actor, model or somesuch. In comparison, this picture is not particularly flattering of me! Still need to work off some excess rolls of fat that accumulated during my prime years in Australia.

Difficult Days – 31st August 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Give me a bad day
To show you who I am
Disturb my applecart
And mess with my plan

Look at you, all smiles
The sun, it always shines
The measure of the man
Is found in difficult times

An easy day for me
Fills me with compassion
For those facing struggle
And life comes down a-crashing

So give me a bad day
I’m gonna turn it around
Enduring all the pain
With this attitude I’ve found

Today I’m feeling:

Good for pushing through exercise this morning setting me up for my long day ahead. I’m starting to run out of time each day doing all the things I want to do and I think something is going to have to go and that will be TV and YouTube videos. I’m already cutting down just because of lack of time. Focus on the things I really prefer and enjoy to be doing. Stop wasting time.

Today I’m grateful for:

The language learning app Drops which I use to study Thai but which I have also asked a couple of my poorer students, Namsai and Nomsen, to use to study English and they checked it out this afternoon and seemed find it a little more compelling than Duolingo. I will introduce more of my classes to Drops instead and in the future. I think it is a slightly better learning tool despite not offering any opportunities to speak.

The best thing about today was:

Kinda improvising a lesson with one of my classes today and having it go really well. 

The original lesson I had planned wasn’t going to be long enough so I picked up a worksheet about ordinal numbers (they always struggle when asked what the date is) that could fill up the time. I started with it as I was expecting it to only take a few minutes. 

As they were getting themselves used to ordinal numbers I figured a best way to remember them was by doing birthdays so I went around the class asking everyone and writing them on the board. I noticed some smart students grabbing pictures so they could remember their classmate’s birthdays.

Once we had all the birthdays I got everyone and asked them to form a line from the first birthday of the year to the last and then spent 10 minutes sorting themselves out and finally I took a photo of them all.

By now time was too short to finish my planned lesson too. So I got them all to write the list of names in the order that had just just stood. This took them a good thirty minutes and I could see everyone puzzling out which name came next until finally they were done. To end, a long Kahoot to reinforce their learning. Everyone was happy and maybe they even learned something.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I decided I needed to catch up a handful of students in one class and the best way to do was to clear out the rest of the students so these ones could concentrate better. 

The class went well with the nine students, without all the usual distractions. They were initially a little miffed at their classmates going off for free time but soon understood the faster they got to it the sooner they’d be able to leave. 

With some slow careful explanations, I could see some twinkling of understanding in most of them. They finished with 30 minutes spare and off they went and off I went to House for extra coffee. 

Whilst I was there I got a message from our department head asking why my students were in the library at the time I was supposed to be teaching them. I got a little annoyed at this at first but I knew that it needed an explanation so I replied doing so. I didn’t get any reply.

Something I learned today?

Scientists have synthesised sugar out of carbon dioxide. Neat!

I took this picture because I wanted a record of the kids doing today’s lesson and lining up in birthday order. There are a few hilarious kids in this class and I hope this picture will be a useful reminder.

The Mouth Breather – 29th August 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

A familiar pain satisfies
Almost spurning contempt
Each feeling classifies
Contradicting its attempt
Mouth breathing still
Forms subconscious thrill

Inspired by a sentence or two at Spinning Visions. Sometimes, the familiarity of something is comfortable even though it is something we dislike. We, as humans, really don’t enjoy change.

Today I’m feeling:

Pretty good. My body is a little achy from exercise but I can feel my bones getting more support from my muscles. My head is feeling positive and I’m happy to be where I am in the world.

Today I’m grateful for:

The guy who makes the Post-Avant Jazzcore Happy Hour podcast that has given me many hours of interesting listening either at home or in the car. 

I mention it today because I was listening today and the music was a little minor-chordy, moody and dark and ultimately I didn’t find it quite as exciting as other times though I could feel the musicians were pretty damn awesome.

The only downside to the podcast is that I have to change the playback speed to normal as I’m usually listening to talking podcasts at one and a half speed.

The best thing about today was:

The chaos of my last class of the day! It is one of the classes that I moved to work in the canteen because I was embarrassed by them in our language building as they were extremely difficult to control. 

Moving them and giving them standard tasks that they repeat each time but with a different text has allowed them to get an understanding of what is required and they can plan ahead so that they don’t have to sit around until the end of the class. 

One of the advantages of being in the canteen is that the kids can spread out and go off as they please when I’m happy that they completed the work. 

Over the last couple of weeks, I’ve noticed that some of the poorer students have improved their skills a lot, perhaps with maturity as well as learning. 

What I like the best is that they no longer fear work when they see it. Gradually over time, they’ve realised that they have to try and that is all that I’ve been asking of them. I guess you could say they’ve made me proud!

They are still a chaotic bunch as any group of 36 13-14-year-olds are prone to be but they are generally fun to be around.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

One of my classes, one of the better ones, was a bit of a handful today and tested my patience. Thankfully it was only a one-hour lesson and a fair percentage of the students understood what was required. Some days you just don’t know what you are going to get but I’ve gotten better at rolling with the punches.

Something I learned today?

Some American politicians are considering leaving the United Nations. To be honest they should as they never follow or implement the consensus opinion unless it suits them. That is not what a UN should be about. BRICS is becoming a superior allegiance of countries that does follow international law and UN resolutions and they have put forward a 10-point charter that states so. Outside of the brainwashed Western kaleidoscope of nightmares, it seems obvious where the better path forward lies.

I took this picture because Kim’s grave is finally looking the way I want. I’ll be happy if it continues like this without any grass growing through. I miss that little kitty too much.

The Review – 28th August 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Not so easily impressed these days
I’m still glad of what you’re doing
I remember those times and ways
As I often find myself reviewing

So go ahead and tell your tale
As has been done many times before
One day recognition will come
You too can review the score

Today I’m feeling:

Much better after the sleepy weekend. My exercise felt easier this morning and I hope that continues throughout the week. I was also happy to be back at school and to see everyone. My students help improve my own emotional well-being.

Today I’m grateful for:

The receptionist at the hospital who advised the doctor I wanted to see only worked in the morning today but would be back tomorrow. It was a simple exchange but even that can be a struggle with our language barriers. Her English was better than my Thai but with a mix of both, we sorted it immediately. I’ll go back tomorrow.

The best thing about today was:

Having a reasonably long discussion with JubJib, mostly about other students.  She’s a smart kid and her English is excellent which is a rarity at school so it was nice to be able to have a complete, flowing conversation for a change. We’ve talked often before but usually get interrupted quickly just with there being so many kids around.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Watching a replay of yesterday’s AFL game between the Swans and the Demons. Finally, a game in which we played really well though we lost. This, after the last six or so games where we haven’t been that great but managed to win. No games this coming weekend and the following will see us play Carlton in Melbourne. Likely to be a quick exit for the Swans this year.

Something I learned today?

Yesterday one of my students posted a picture of her arm after she had tried cutting it. I talked with her today and she didn’t say anything (she’s VERY quiet usually) but I told her that if she did want to talk then I would be there for her.
She was very happy in the class today though I’m uncertain if it was because I talked to her or if there is something worse going on at home that makes her happier to be at school.
I thought this because a few students have told me they prefer to be at school rather than at home.

What is an upcoming milestone worth celebrating?

I’m not a big celebrater or care about milestones particularly. 

I had plans to have a big show for my 50th birthday in Sydney but when the time came I was living in Adelaide and working night shift, and Amy was in Thailand. 

I’ve not been big on birthdays or Christmas once I ‘grew up’ and I didn’t really get back into them when Hayden was growing up either. I kind of grudgingly did it!

If 60 was thought of as an upcoming milestone in still not sure how I would celebrate it. I don’t need a milestone or celebration to be happy. I’d rather just be contented all the time.

I took this picture because I was shocked to see this sudden tall protrusion from this plant. This one is growing even bigger than the one we had a couple of years ago. When the hell did it grow like this? I feel sure it wasn’t there yesterday!

Three Years – 27th August 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Lives on hold, unprepared
Hiding under the stairs
Trembling and scared
World revolving unawares

A chance, opportunity
Wasted, waiting for the fix
Hoping for immunity
From Batman’s bag of tricks

Next time, unprepared again
No lesson learned
Three years become ten
None may be returned

16th Apr 2024 – Submitted to Word of the Day Challenge – Immunity

Today I’m feeling:

A bit more active than yesterday. I think the pleasure of the cannabutter is giving me good long sleep but also still affecting me the following day so I’m going to lay off it for now. It’s effect is very mild and pleasureable but if it makes me groggy for the whole of the next day then it’s not worth it.

Today I’m grateful for:

My own understanding of my body and brain. Today has been completely drug free except my anti-depressant and whilst it’s not been a fun day to speak of it’s passed by pleasantly enough. I can feel my muscles and joints recovering slowly and hopefully they are primed to get me going again in the morning.

The best thing about today was:

Finally watching Come And See. I feel like I don’t have the attention span for movies sometimes but then realise I can sit through hours of podcasts or TV series. I knew this movie wasn’t going to be any kind of rom-com but the mood kind of reflected my day and it’s message and purpose were clear to me. It showed the trauma and atrocity of war and was a struggle to watch but I’m glad I did. I might have to sit back with something comedic tonight to balance it out.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

The weekend has been a bit of a write-off, no writing, little reading, no workout and no guitar. I’m not worried about it at all as I know I need downtime. It’s just sometimes I feel like kicking myself when it feels like I’m wasting time.

I’ll be back on it tomorrow though. Morning exercise then off for coffees. Then I have an 11.30 appointment with Kru Hin to learn how do our grades in the online system, my one class at 1.30, then off up to the hospital to get more sertraline and back to play guitar and watch the last Swans AFL of the regular season.

Something I learned today?

One of my grade 7 students was proud to send me pictures of himself running in a 5km through the city today, similar to one that Amy and I did a few years ago. It’s nice to feel that he wants to show his teacher this. He was one of the kids I kicked out of class a couple of weeks ago so there is an element of sucking up involved but I know he’s a good kid, just being a teenager.

If I could live anywhere in the world, where would that be?

I’d like to live anywhere that is safe and stable. I’ve found living somewhere where I don’t fully understand the language has been helpful as I don’t get fully sucked into the vortex of shit-talking that people find so enjoyable. No matter how much I tried to avoid the corruption of politicians in the UK and Australia I always would get back into it. It was a waste of my time. I know things are even worse here in Thailand but I don’t have to think about it or be involved with it. 

I can still see myself living in the UK or Australia though I don’t think it would be for extended periods. Otherwise, I think I can live anywhere, as I said, so long as it is safe. Water, electricity and internet preferred.

I took this picture by accident when I was talking on a video call with Amy. She was busy running around cleaning Lewis’s poop at the time, just as I was about to feed our cats (action shot in the top corner). This is how Amy and I have communicated for the past two years and I’m glad of the technology that makes it possible.