Tag: students

Beyond The Threshold – 6th February 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 3 Comments

Won’t you let me in?
Open heart, open door
A warm welcoming

Wanting little more
Than a hand to hold here
As we cross the floor

Overcome our fear
Let’s go through together
Our intentions clear

In silk and feather
We find ourselves humming
A friend forever

Won’t you let me….

Fake Flamenco: Thursday Doors

Today I’m feeling:

Like I haven’t slept enough. I could easily curl up and snooze for a bit but hopefully, this coffee will kick-start the morning.

Today I’m grateful for:

Having things to read while sitting around doing nothing at school this afternoon whilst the Thai teachers were keeping the kids occupied.  After an hour and a half though I snuck out and didn’t bother signing out either.  Hopefully, that doesn’t come back to bite me but Scout week is one of those frustrating wastes of time for us foreign teachers.

The best thing about today was:

Amy’s dinner of fried rice with fish sausage, crunchy cabbage, carrot and topped off with a perfectly fried egg.  Since I started just eating breakfast and skipping lunch I’ve been able to easily adapt to eating rice almost every day at dinner time.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Despite having to show groups of 8-10-year-olds over and over again how to tie knots this morning and itching to get out for more coffee it wasn’t actually too bad.  David and I had fun with the kids, some of whom were hilarious. 

It was interesting to notice how much better their English is than the kids we actually teach who are up to 5 years older.  We finished up at around 11.30 and I was happy to get away by then.

Something I learned today?

From Stephen Fry’s SubStack he talked about how in a group of twenty people, for example, there will be a leader, a clown, a know-it-all, a shy one, a complainer, a rebel etc and then if you take all the leaders and put them into a group, all the rebels into a group and so on, within each group they will soon revert back to having a leader, a clown, a know-it-all etc

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

In the morning I met Waiz’s younger sister who always runs up to me for a fist bump.  I had just been given a scout scarf and asked her to ‘do it’ for me because I wasn’t sure how.  She then folded it up and put it on me as she had been taught to do.  It didn’t look great but I kept wearing it because she had done it for me.

25 THINGS ABOUT LIFE I WISH I HAD KNOWN 10 YEARS AGO –  12. Money Isn’t Important. It really isn’t. But you have to train yourself not to care about money. Don’t become too dependent on the stuff you own; otherwise, the stuff will own you.

Money is important when you want to do things.  As I’ve aged I’m starting to want to do less. 

As I write that I question myself whether that is true or not.  Sure some things have dropped off but I still have stacks of music that I haven’t properly listened to yet.  Years and years worth of books and comics that I wish to read. 

So perhaps I should say that I refined some of the things that I want to do.  I want to read more than travel but hell, I’d still like to travel.  I guess I’m taking the easier path more often these days.  But I also see doing less as more suitable to my age. 

Damn, I’m conflicted with this because I’m always imploring people to do something, to do more!  The dichotomy of life in Thailand is rubbing off on me!

I took this picture because our two boys often spend the afternoons dozing in the boxes on their cat castles, often swapping places depending on who gets there first.

The Rush – 4th February 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

The race never existed in his world
To hurry something somehow seemed wrong
Never a challenge externalised
Until the hare came haring along

…and what were you like before…

Today I’m feeling:

Sore. My back and knees are complaining after stressing them yesterday whilst cleaning out the sink drain. 

Today I’m grateful for:

The parking guys with their whistles at Makro.  I don’t know why they are necessary or why they blow their whistles so much as it’s impossible to understand if it means anything.  I almost ran the guy over because I had a clear reverse behind me and he was the only thing in the way!

The best thing about today was:

Spending a few hours in my room, catching up on reading, sorting music, downloading and listening and then practising guitar.  I want to spend more time doing this but I still don’t really enjoy being in that room anymore.

Something I learned today?

The average age of a Ukrainian soldier right now is 43!

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I followed up with Earn, asking her the same question as I did about six weeks ago – Tell me five things you like about yourself.  Her answers are better than last time.  Less focused on looks and more focused on feelings and emotions.

What is a happy memory from my childhood?

I’ve lots of snippets of memories that are not particularly happy or sad, just things that happened. Some may have felt ecstatic at the time such as playing football at school or tragic like the time I cracked my eyebrow open on the edge of a step but at this distance, they are just events. I consider my childhood to be memories until I was about halfway through middle school, pre-pubescent. After that, I consider myself a teenager until I was forty!

25 THINGS ABOUT LIFE I WISH I HAD KNOWN 10 YEARS AGO –  11. Lead the Way. When you find yourself in a situation where everyone looks at each other, it’s time for you to lead. You’re a leader when you decide to become one. There’s no initiation or a title. Just a decision.

Before going through teenage depression I thought that I could be a leader.  After that though, I mostly wanted to keep my head down though I still had a selfish streak of arrogance which popped up from time to time. 

Whilst doing DIY punk things in Sydney I never felt like a leader but did hope that I was an inspiration for others and I can think of two friends for sure who did take something from what I was doing and ran with it themselves. 

Now, at school, in Thailand, I consider myself the same.  Not as a leader but as an inspiration.  I want to inspire my students to become the best of themselves.  I don’t work for prizes and awards and I don’t want to be managing other adults.  I don’t want to lead people in such a way as to tell them what to do.  Rather than leading I just want to be doing something. Anything.  Just do it.

I took this picture because this was one of the few super cute kittens that were jumping around, playing and sleeping on this spirit house at the Night Bazaar last night.

Honey Glaze – 3rd February 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 3 Comments

The orange sunrise
Perfectly reflected on the blue sky sea
Turning back inland
It’s a destruction from the river to me

Still, I have my god
That promises to set my children free
The skies alight
Where the others’ god wishes to be

The river run dry
Across those borders, we must flee
The honey glaze
Shines so that’s all anyone may see
*The honey glaze
On a fine crust of tolerated misery*

* David Elikwu
5th Oct 2024 – Shared with Weekly Prompts Colour Challenge – Mainly Orange

Today I’m feeling:

My regular Saturday exhaustion though Amy didn’t give me the opportunity to wallow as she had me up and busy as soon as I got up. By the time I got to coffee at midday, I was dying for it.

Today I’m grateful for:

Time spent in the hammock reading about Britain’s colonisation of India. The sun is still a little low so that the remaining trees still give some shade though the ants, spiders and flies did get annoying.

The best thing about today was:

At the winter festival, Amy was shocked at the tiny crop tops at one of the stalls and said ‘Oh my god, who can wear a top like that?’ And as she said that she noticed a girl wearing a similar-sized top and finished off with ‘Oh, a girl like her.’ I looked and saw a small skinny girl looking cute in a tight crop top. And it was then that I noticed that she is one of the grade 11 students that I often talk to. And Amy was surprised to see me fist-bump the girl she was just talking about admiring.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Amy was cranky from the get-go this morning and I came close to losing my cool but took deep breaths and soldiered on through, knowing that at some point it would be over and things would be good again.

Something I learned today?

Word is that the local council want our road widened before the rainy season starts which is good news though it will be a little inconvenient for us for a while.

Though we’ve been waiting for this before Amy starts thinking about doing business on our land it has become apparent that since the end of COVID, most students have not returned to the habit of going out and staying out to eat drink and talk like they used to. Many businesses are selling up due to a lack of customers after 8pm.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

Amy asked me to pick up some plumber’s tape to fix the joint under the sink. I was on my way to my first coffee but picked up the tape and took it straight home so that she can fix it quickly.

At times I was short in my replies to Amy as I was echoing her behaviour back to her but I shouldn’t do that.

I took this picture because here was another cat in the window above the eatery next to Utopia. That means at least five cats I’ve seen in this window and I know that there are also two dogs.

Children’s Crusade – 2nd February 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 3 Comments

Those were times of imagination
We made a house of a broken boat
Cooking up sand in the kitchen
Wondering if this home could ever float

Enemies emerge from the dunes
Duck and cover at the stern
Quiet whispers as they pass
And a wish that they never return

Here we live until it is dark
Our jobs and tasks are all set
Sharing dreams of our little crusade
That we shall never forget

Shared with Crimson’s Creative Challenge

Today I’m feeling:

Positive and happy this morning.  A little bit of that Friday feeling despite being a little tired due to a crazy pee dream that was trying to wake me up.  I was so aware that in my dream I was even telling myself that this wasn’t just a pee dream but just that I was peeing in my dream.  I was trying to convince myself to keep dreaming. 

But eventually, it was too much as the bucket I was peeing into starting overflowing even after emptying it one time.  I groggily got up to go to the bathroom hoping against hope that there were still many more hours to sleep but getting back to sleep was difficult because I kept thinking about the dream. 

Predictably, it felt like as soon as I got back into a deep sleep my alarm went off.

Today I’m grateful for:

A few folks taking the time to comment on a couple of poems that I’ve written in connection to some prompts.  I’m at the stage of looking for prompts in other new places for inspiration – though I’m rarely ever short of ideas to be honest.  Just looking for a bit of variety and some more challenges.  By taking part in the prompt challenges it is bringing new people to come and look at this blog, which I appreciate.  I’m not particularly after clicks or likes.

The best thing about today was:

Four hours sitting, writing, thinking, drinking coffee.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Two students, Kwang and Pang, pushed me too far today.  I wasn’t angry and not outwardly upset but they have both shown me a lot of attitude recently. 

I like them both and I’ve tried to help them more than other students and I’m sad to feel disrespected by them after all the chances I’ve given them.  We’re near the end of this semester now and I’ll tell them not to bother coming to my classes because I don’t want them disturbing everyone else. 

I just told them to pack up their stuff and go.  The class was much better after that.

Something I learned today?

Pigs can’t look up into the sky due to the anatomy of their neck muscles and spine.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

Nomsen came to class this afternoon looking a bit frazzled and her friends told me that she’d been crying and she quickly covered her face as more tears came.  Without making a fuss I left her to it with her friends.

I was asking students random questions about music and instruments and I came around to her when she had stopped crying but she was obviously thinking about something else.  I was guessing it was about a boy.  She soon asked to go to the bathroom with her friend and I didn’t question it like I might do at other times, thinking maybe she’ll feel better when she gets back. 

They were gone for about 30 minutes I’m guessing, and when they got back they caught up with their work as quickly as they could.  When Nomsen came to hand in her work she seemed better so I asked her what happened today. 

She was quiet at first so I asked if it was about a boy and she shook her head and offered… ‘it’s my uncle…’ Oh no, I thought, maybe he’s in hospital or died, so I said ‘I’m sorry to hear that’ and gave her a hug. 

On writing this I’m worried that she may have meant something else by her comment but I really hope not.  I just messaged her to see if she was feeling better and she said she’s ok.  I hope so.

I took this picture because two new pups were outside the gate this morning and were friendly. Tangmo came running over and lots of play fighting ensured and he got so happy he ran at full pace around the teaching room three times without stopping.

No Left Feet – 31st January 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 14 Comments

Don’t ask me to dance
I’ll step on your toes
Elbow your stomach
Watch out for your nose

My rhythm is off
I seem to be shaking
It’s a herky-jerky
I seem to be making

Don’t stare and laugh
Give me half a chance
I’m plenty good at other things
But never at this dance

Submitted to dVerse – dance

Today I’m feeling:

A little vague and blurry but positive.  I feel like I could easily sleep if given the opportunity. 

Despite being tired and hungry when I got home last night and then only a little to satisfy myself I found that I was still reading comics at 11.30 and then it took me a fair while to actually go to sleep. 

The morning alarm was a bit of a shock and for a brief moment, I contemplated snoozing it but made it up instead.

Today I’m grateful for:

Finally being able to crack the last part of the song that I was struggling to complete on guitar.

The best thing about today was:

My small grade 10 class again today who were a pleasure to teach and just talk with in general as the topic was about relationships.  My lesson was more focused on romantic relationships but many of the points cross over to any kind of relationship. 

As the English level of most of the class is quite poor I depended on the two good speakers to help translate some points and I could see that they were all able to understand to one degree or another.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I got a message today from Nancy about not signing out when leaving school, which I haven’t done for about 2 years now.  She said ‘they’ would reduce my wages.  If they reduce my wages anymore I’ll have to start paying them to work!  She asked me to message Kru Tang, which I did and she asked me to sign out and I said that I would.  She didn’t mention anything about reducing wages though.  Let’s see what happens next month.

Something I learned today?

Last year the USA beat all previous records for sales of weapons to the rest of the world.  When is the rest of the world going to wake up to the fact that the USA wants more war to make more money?

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I was pleased to see a couple of my usually lazy students pushing themselves a little more today so I made sure to praise them with personal messages this evening.

I took these pictures, as I mentioned last week because Cap was sitting here but decided to get up as soon as I got down to take a picture of him, so I took this series as he walked towards me.

Cuppa Freedom – 29th January 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Don’t tell the Yanks that they’re not free
That’s when they start killing you and me
What a different world we might be living in
If we had chatted over a nice cup of tea!

Today I’m feeling:

Pretty good. I’ve called in sick to work so that I can go to the hospital to get my medicine this morning so I’m enjoying some Utopian coffees first.

Today I’m grateful for:

A quick stroll through the local walking street market with Amy to get some dinner.  I picked up some of my favourite salad that I always bought when Amy wasn’t here and I haven’t had it again in the three months since she’s back.

The best thing about today was:

Getting in to see the doctor without an appointment and whilst waiting I needed to go to the bathroom and by the time I got back it was my turn to see him.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

At one point I was watching something on TV and Amy decided to start calling people on her phone. It was impossible for me to hear whilst she was chatting away. Never mind – guitar time! I headed off to my room to play.

Something I learned today?

My old student August (she who used to love dancing) told me of her interest in playing guitar last year. Today she sent me a video of her and a couple of guitar classmates performing (singing too!) outside Central Plaza. I was quite surprised and also jealous!

I wish I was young and unafraid like her. Learning something is easier when you are young and getting up in front of people isn’t so nerve-racking unless you are really shy.

Of course, I did that too when I was young. I guess I just want to be young!

25 THINGS ABOUT LIFE I WISH I HAD KNOWN 10 YEARS AGO – 8. Don’t Care About What People Think. We all die in the end, do you really think it matters what people think of you?

Kinda connected to what I wrote above, in many ways I’ve never cared what people thought of me unless I knew I was doing something wrong.  When I reached about 16 or 17, something changed in that I lost a lot of self-confidence, though still sometimes ran on bravado, which never served me well.  And from there it was an ever-decreasing circle.  Somewhere along the way and slowly but surely I got some confidence back, especially when I started doing music-related things in Australia.

I’m reminded of one occasion when I was at the front of the crowd at Frequency Lab videoing Limited Express (has gone?)’s set.  As there was no space between the audience and the band and only a one-step stage it meant being in the way of things a little. 

Later, Dave Harris asked me about being there and I said ‘I didn’t care’ to which he was rather taken aback but I clarified that I meant that I didn’t care if I got pushed and shoved out of the way by the raging mosh pit around us all.  Of course, most people will take care not to smash into people filming or taking photos and I would too, to a certain extent but ultimately if I had missed some shots or worse still, something got smashed then I would have had only myself to blame. 

If people are not happy about something then they can say something.

This reminds me of another occasion when I was at the Big Day Out one time and a girl in a bikini top was on the shoulders of her boyfriend. This annoyed a few boys who were standing behind them but instead of moving somewhere else, where there was still plenty of room they thought it would be a good idea to pull on the strings of the bikini top to try and undo and embarrass the girl.  On their second attempt, I stepped in and told them to move if they weren’t happy and they soon got the message.

Anyway, back to not caring what people think.  Most of us will reach an age where this will just naturally happen and we’ll no longer much care.  We get settled in our ways and remain the way we are.  Some of us (myself included) will remain firm and polite in most situations whilst others will be curmudgeonly and unbending.  I guess that depends on one’s character.

If I’m completely honest, there will still be some occasions when I will care what certain people think about me.

I took this picture because if you squint at these leaves they look like they have tiny lights at their centres.

Walking In Darkness – 26th January 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Without the light, it’s easy to submit
Wild and brave men no longer thrive
Those empty spaces are full of it
Desperate hands grasping to survive

These men bleed, kept in silence
There’s no longer a world to save
Tired of all the endless violence
In darkness rot the men so brave

Inspired by this post at John Coyote’s blog
17th Dec 2024 – Shared with Ragtag Daily Prompt – darkness

Today I’m feeling:

A bit more awake this morning after struggling to get up.  I really wanted to sleep more.  I noticed that my stomach has lost a little more excess flab so I’m happy about that.  Keep going.

Today I’m grateful for:

The receptionist at the dental clinic who happily changed my dental appointment from next week to mid-February because, and I told her this, I don’t have any money to pay until I paid again.  We both talked in a mixture of English and Thai and could understand each other clearly and I wai’d her my thanks as I left.

The best thing about today was:

…well, it seems strange to call this the best thing but it is certainly something that stands out. 

For my last grade 7 class of the day, I asked the kids to log in to the Quiz on their phones.  Aomsin, who was sitting right in front of me in the front row, said she couldn’t because she had no battery.  I explained to her in English that I told the class many times that for my class they must always have enough battery and good internet access. 

Aomsin’s English is not that good yet though and whilst she could tell that I was being serious she clearly did not understand the details.  This was Friday afternoon, the last hours of the day and I was feeling laid back and playful.  The other kids could sense that.  I told her that I take away 5 points in the system if they are not prepared. I was smiling and had no intention to do that but wanted her to know that she should always be prepared.

Anyway, I translated into Thai for her so she could understand and she nodded and looked down at her phone.  Gunn, sitting next to her, looked at me, looked at her and then looked at me again.  Aomsin then started talking in Thai, sounding like complaining-explaining and looked back up to me, with a slightly pleading face and then I saw a tear fall down each of her cheeks. 

I couldn’t believe it.  I wiped away each tear and said ‘Hey, come on, it’s not that serious.’ Again, she didn’t quite get it.  I comforted her and told her in Thai that I was only playing with her. 

Gunn cracked up laughing at her but I wanted her to feel better.  Then she started really balling her eyes out but also laughing at the same time.  Laughing and crying at herself and her friends.  It was like she really wanted to feel an emotion deeply but also realised how absurd it was.  She was smiling and laughing but couldn’t stop herself from crying. 

Other kids started paying attention and couldn’t understand why everyone looked happy and smiling but Aomsin was crying.  Gunn quickly offered a solution with his charger (why didn’t she just ask him to borrow it in the first place!) and even that couldn’t settle her down.  Gunn talked some more to her and I went and attended a couple of other students before coming back after a few minutes. 

She had settled herself by this time but when I asked her to do the quiz she said she couldn’t yet.  I got down on my knees and wai’d her my apologies many times over and both she and Gunn cracked up laughing again.

I guess it’s a good lesson for me that not everyone gets the vibe or feeling of the class and whilst I can be quite strict about what I want I’m not so often angry about anything. I can sense Aomsin is sensitive, not just in my class but in general and I should be aware of that and make sure that she understands when something is playful or serious.  I could be wrong but I don’t think she was really upset with what happened and maybe there were other things going on for her and she was having a bad day and this just tipped her over the edge.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

After picking up my coffee and making sure to be back in school for first class I was wondering why the building was so quiet.  No kids!  What’s going on? You can read more below.  How did I handle it?  By taking the free time opportunity to write here.

Something I learned today?

This morning my first class was delayed as there was something going on.  As I was in the classroom ready to teach I decided to go and find out what it was all about.  It was about the upcoming election for a student to the school board. 

I walked around and ended up talking with Jet and asked her who she would vote for and why.  I then asked if she would want to run for election when she was in grade 11 and she said ‘Why would I want to do that!?’ 

Ok, I said, who do you think in your class would be suitable and she thought Anchan.  She said Anchan is a little older than the rest of the class and can control them quite well.  I wasn’t too surprised at this as I could see last year that she had some leadership qualities if she chose to go in that direction.  It was interesting to hear this from another student though.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I sent Anchan a positive message based on what Jet had said above, to show my support and pride in her.  I told her to keep going. (Just as I told myself this morning – keep going!)

25 THINGS ABOUT LIFE I WISH I HAD KNOWN 10 YEARS AGO – 6. Keep a Journal. No, keeping a journal is not for children. It helps you to become a better thinker and writer. “I don’t want to be a writer” you might think. Well, how many emails and texts do you send a day? Everybody is a writer.

Journaling has only become a habit since moving to Thailand and somewhat inspired by starting 1994ever to document my year in 1994.  Because I have ended up with fewer external things to do I have had more time to develop this habit and it doesn’t feel like a chore like when I was a teenager trying to keep up a diary.  As the idea states you become a better thinker and that is what I want to be.  Yesterday’s idea was about strengthening the body through exercise, today is about strengthening the brain through journaling.

I took this picture because we had to cut our three big trees down as the roots would fuck up the buildings. It looks so strange and we’re a little sad because they were big healthy trees that gave a lot of shade.

Two Whispers – 23rd January 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 4 Comments

Where the light turned to dust
Silence remains
When two became none

Where the light became air
Extinguished flames
Await the rising sun

Where the light turns to the sky
Who prays
And in their solitude sit?

Where the light falls west
Who stays
To watch the candles lit?

Submitted to #WDYS

Today I’m feeling:

Good and positive again. I can feel that I have a better attitude and more energy in the days that I exercise in the morning and that I should also force myself to do this on weekends and holidays as I often just fall into laziness then.

Today I’m grateful for:

The little female (age indefinable) petrol pump assistant who double-checked what I wanted and then, after filling the car,  gave me two bottles of water. She tried to explain about the water but I didn’t understand. I just assumed that they were free!

The best thing about today was:

Taking time with a couple of my troublesome students this afternoon and helping them get a better idea of a grammar point. I felt relief and joy when they started getting the answers right by themselves. I even managed to get a smile out of one of them.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

My first class today with grade 8s was a little wearisome. Some days it feels like they just insist on not learning. I stayed relatively calm but inside I feel a little tired and deflated from it.

Something I learned today?

The single most expensive item for the British in the American Civil War was rum.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

We went to the temple again for some follow-up Buddhist things for Grandmum. I did as was directed though wasn’t sure about any of what was happening. In the end, we served monks food and everyone (except me) at lunch too.

25 THINGS ABOUT LIFE I WISH I HAD KNOWN 10 YEARS AGO
3. Spend Time with People You Love. That’s your family and best friends. If you don’t have a family, create one. Most people in life are only visitors. Family is for life.

My tribe is my family these days. I’m not particularly close to anyone except for Amy and I’m fine with that. If I ever need to make new relationships they will come naturally from within my tribe. 

The internet definitely has made things easier to stay in contact with my tribe, who are scattered all around the world.

Whilst the ease of communication keeps us together, our tribe survives apart.

No Art – 22nd January 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 14 Comments

We put down our brushes
In search of gold stars
Our stick figures meaningless
If we can’t get a pass

Our caves are now bare
Or full of the perceived good
Those words we told ourselves
Have taken away our ‘could’

No teacher or priest were we
But everyone laughed
Still, we lighted a spark
And cultivated our craft

Inspired by a newsletter snippet titled ‘Why you stopped making art’ from David Elikwu. Added to dVerse here.

Today I’m feeling:

A little more awake and active than yesterday.  Feeling fairly positive but also a little anxious as if something might come along to get me down.  On the edge.

Today I’m grateful for:

All the different options available for muesli to buy.  I was disappointed to not find my favourite crunchy strawberry muesli today but at least there were lots of different options available, though somewhat more pricey.  I took a mid-range option but contemplated some of the others for when I’m back in the black.

The best thing about today was:

Being able to take the foot off the gas a little with my classes today and stretch out the work so that they had more time to contemplate, share with each other and understand in their own time.  Sometimes I expect and push too much so I wanted to make life a little easier for us all.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I made a trip to Makro because I ran out of yoghurt this morning but was disappointed to find they were out of stock.  I had to buy a different brand to last for a few days before going back to check again.  I sure hope they continue stocking it because it’s the best!

Something I learned today?

This journalling app is trolling me.  It’s been 22 days of prompts so far of ‘What is something something something this year?’  Just because the calendar starts on the first of January a year is still a year from NOW, whatever the date.  Why do I have to spend a month thinking about 2024?  I’m always thinking about the future.  I guess journal prompts do get repetitive anyway but I find this one particularly annoying.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I gave Noah some extra support and encouragement for her negative attitude towards Teacher David.  She needs to stay respectful and at least learn from her experiences even if she’s not learning English.

25 THINGS ABOUT LIFE I WISH I HAD KNOWN 10 YEARS AGO
2. Don’t Complain. Complaining is the biggest waste of time there is. Either do something about it, and if you can’t, shut up about it.

This is something I have gotten better at over the years.  Being English it’s an extremely hard habit to break.  Moving to Australia in 1994 certainly helped as Aussies generally don’t put up with the stereotypical whinging poms.  I don’t remember ever being called out on it but I think their positivity rubbed off on me in general and the fact that there was certainly less to complain about in life in Australia, or at least it certainly seemed that way.

When I meet English people now though I find their complaining quite noticeable and can also fall right back into it myself.  It’s like a common bond we share.  Because I’m conscious of it though I do try to stop myself and counter any complaining with a positive view in response.

Yes, life is not all chocolates and roses but there’s no need to go on about it.  In fact, there’s no need to say anything.  Even if you are still thinking it, just keep your mouth shut.

I took this picture because I love to see freshly planted rice paddies like this. This is from Saturday – no new pictures today.

Leashed – 21st January 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Obedient to a master
Every day I’m called good
Is it a lie, a deception?
How am I to be, how I should?
Dance and beg for treats
But I got to the eats

I will not strike out
I will not forge my own way
Rolling over or playing dead
I will stay
All this time doing well
Makes no reason to rebel

inspired by this cartoon at Existential Comics

Today I’m feeling:

Pretty good though it was a struggle to get up as I had enjoyed a couple of drops of cannabutter last night that knocked me right out.

Today I’m grateful for:

Go Nuts chocolate bars.  They are kinda like Snickers but cheaper as they are manufactured in Thailand (I guess).  They are smaller than a Snickers bar so I usually end up eating two at a time but even then they are cheaper.  I still like a little something sweet after a meal, kinda just finishes it off for me.

The best thing about today was:

Spending a couple of hours in my room listening to new music and finding new songs to try and play on guitar.  I also enjoyed being in the garden watering all our plants.

Something I learned today?

I saw a message posted to our department messaging group that there is something going on in the morning tomorrow which maybe means a change to our classes.  I’m hoping to arrive at school tomorrow to find out my class is cancelled! It’s no big deal if it’s not but a bonus if it is!

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I shampooed Tigger again just before lunch and he put up a little more of a fight this time but I managed to get it done without any scratches, thankfully.

As mentioned above, I watered the garden whilst Amy was enjoying watching a TV show and after that, I came in and fed the cats.

25 THINGS ABOUT LIFE I WISH I HAD KNOWN 10 YEARS AGO
1. Struggle Is Good. Never say “I can’t take it anymore.” Say “Bring it on!”

This has taken me a long while to realise and embrace, although looking back I can see that I did this often. 

I have a capability to endure certain things that others might not. Conversely, I’m sure others are capable of enduring things I cannot. It is the attitude towards this struggle that I embrace more now so that I might look forward to the difficult tasks. 

I tend to visualise and actualise the feeling of having completed something and being able to relax, satisfied that I had done something.

When I was a teenager, so long as it was something I was interested in, I could start big, wild projects that could occupy my time and mind. These things didn’t feel like a struggle. Without realizing it I soon discovered that it wasn’t always the satisfaction of finishing something that made me feel good but just the doing of it. Over time this meant that I could take on tasks that were less interesting to me because I would just enjoy the doing, the struggle of them.

When I ask my students to write out a few paragraphs of text I enjoy taking note of those who complain and those who just get on and do it. This reveals a lot about their attitude.

These days, having a space that I love to rest my head at night, I can rationalise all discomfort at uninteresting tasks knowing that when the sun goes down I have a place where I can relax and do the things that are interesting to me.

Whilst I would rarely say ‘Bring it on’ I am no longer afraid of the challenges that confront me.

I took this picture because this tree’s red flowers turn brown before splitting open and revealing their seeds. This is the first time I’ve actually noticed the seeds inside.