Multiplied and divided Grow, grow, let’s go Take over full control Double what you sow Stuck in the blood The economy of fire Divide and multiply Punished by desire Spaces filled by ashes Opportunity comes a-knocking The tumour is a-rolling Pumped by hearts a-rocking Starve the common driver Temper evolution from within Back in white counts The cancer starts to thin
The foundation of all mental illness is the unwillingness to experience legitimate suffering.
Carl Jung
Today I’m grateful for: Seeing Amy happy and dancing around her apartment in Sydney as she was enjoying her Sunday knowing she can do whatever she wants. The best thing about today was: Sydney Swans making it through to the grand final this year even if it was by the slimmest of margins and the tension was immense.
I took this picture because Pi-Ti is my weekend coffee cat, the king of the cafe at Utopia.
We’re acting our age, growing up Got our emotions under control The highs and lows have come and gone And we’re finally feeling whole We’re no longer chasing rainbows We know what’s at their end The pot of gold is here and now With a lifetime left to spend
Beware of those who seek constant crowds; they are nothing alone.
Charles Bukowski
Today I’m grateful for: Amy’s parents for delivering me food and fruit this morning. I was sleeping and I found it with surprise at our door. The best thing about today was: Watching Sydney play a fantastic game of football that was tense and exciting.
I took this picture because it caught my eye though I didn’t look closely at it. Looking at it now I guess it’s a painting based on the position of stars. I’m not even sure where I took this or if it’s a screenshot.
Are you irresponsible in the darkness? Shaded in soft golden neon Does rebellion foment on tarmac curbs? A target found to all agree on Hidden in plain view The many meld into the cosmic one Mysterious brothers and sisters Measured in memories soon undone In dream parties revisited Eyes locked for a second brief Know, not knowing Moments of ecstasy or grief Soft smiles acknowledged A metaphorical tip of the hat Strangers to each other There’s nothing better than that
You get to consciously decide what has meaning and what doesn’t.
David Foster Wallace
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful that I can watch the Swans game later today.
Standing in the garden at night Looking up at the brightest star The darkness blankets me in comfort I cannot fathom where you are
I’m just beginning my investigation An infinite universe to explore I’m not afraid of this vagueness It’s what every idea is for
It’s a new way of seeing A view of the world with open eyes No limits to where I roam With childlike wonder and surprise
Repressed ideas often leak out But they no longer make me afraid I challenge myself for the pleasure Of this wonderful life I’ve made
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful that Amy got up with me this morning to join my abs workout. It was tough for her.
The crappy TV break yesterday was less than crappy. It was perfect.
I watched some YouTube videos and some Trailer Park Boys. I dismissed TPB when it first aired because it wasn’t laugh-out-loud funny, just amusing stereotypes at play. After 15 years, I decided to give it another shot and I’m glad I did. One thing I like about it is the appearance of how much fun they must have had making it. I’m very curious what these people are like in real life but I don’t want to find out yet, that would spoil the illusion for me.
The environment for the setting of the show reminds me so much of when I used to visit Turlin Moor with Justin and, occasionally, Rupert and Jeremy. Looking back, that place was scary. Turlin Moor was an area in Poole where recently released convicts were rehoused. Needless to say, not many had been rehabilitated.
I don’t really remember how often I went there but it was enough to feel somewhat welcome and protected. We hung out at a family house. A mother (Pam) with two kids and then all the other wastrels hanging around. There was usually 10 to 12 people lounging around the living room.
I never went on my own, always with Justin, though I may have stayed there overnight sometimes and Justin went to his home, which was within walking distance.
Friendly though the people there were, they weren’t always the brightest sparks and trouble was never far away. I managed to avoid getting involved and just relished this little family community that accepted anyone.
My other main watch this weekend was on YouTube, where I discovered someone had uploaded the Sensational Swans video. Something I’d been trying to find since its release in late 2005. It was available to buy from the Sydney Swans website but I didn’t want to pay full price for it and hoped it would turn up in the video store and I could just rent it and rip it. I did that with the release of the Grand Final from that year but the Sensational Swans was an hour and a half review of the whole season. In comparison the final was not so excting.
Anyway, watching this on the weekend got me wound up. Remembering names and goals and faces but the best/worst things was feeling the tension watching the little game reviews, even though I already knew the result.
I love watching the AFL and the Swans (when we play well). I’m excited for the coming season already.
*A man’s accusing finger always finds a woman They are the blamed and the blessed There is no way to change this status And no way to pass the test A controlling power deep within the head Passive, self-censored and abjugated A thousand years of venoms spat At the devils that man created
* From “A Thousand Splendid Suns” by Khaled Hosseini
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful to be able to watch the football again this year and watch Sydney play well against the odds with a young team. Much better than the previous two seasons. We lost today and finished for this year but it has me pumped for watching again next year. Hopefully, I can.
It’s a vague memory Not sure what I can say I just don’t recall Much about yesterday
I know I enjoyed it It went very well What were the details I can no longer tell
I’m sure there was coffee And stroking the cats Did the dog come to visit? I don’t know – perhaps?
Online classes of kids I think they enjoyed their study I think it was fun Though my memory is muddy
What about this morning? What the hell did I do? The onset of senility? What if I write this poem again tomorrow…… Too?
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful for my iPad that I could use last night to watch Sydney beat the top team in the AFL. Then to read comics and books. I don’t use it for much else but it’s fantastic for what I want.
We’re ten rounds in to the Australia Rules Football season and as my team, Sydney Swans, is doing better this year than the last couple, I look forward to the weekends when I can catch up with the game. I can’t afford to watch the games live anymore and have to wait the following day to watch the (free) replay, meanwhile doing whatever I can to avoid seeing the result anywhere, which is not always easy.
One player in the team is Nick Blakey and he cuts an unusual figure, tall, skinny and shoulders that seem to fall away from his neck down to his elbows. His odd gait when he is running has earned him the, hopefully lighthearted, nickname of the Lizard. Once hearing this, it is impossible not to see a Jesus lizard scampering across water when he goes tearing off down field.
Nick Blakey, trying to shrug his shoulders.
So, anyway, the word Lizard has been on my mind and I will probably listen to the Jesus Lizard when I get home tonight. And, yesterday, the blue headed beauty in the main picture above blocked my exit from the car park, and luckily didn’t run away until I’d gotten out and taken a photo.
The little lizard below often greets me on the stone pillar of our gate when I get home. He’s got some cute symmetrical markings. His many, many brothers and sisters leave piles of black turds around the floor and counter edges throughout our house. And sometimes our cats deliver us some mid sized lizards that manage to escape their jaws and scitter off under the fridge or washing machine, only to appear later, high up on the screen doors frustrated that they can’t get out.
Nothing beats that time Amy, barefoot, trod on a huge dead gecko that, presumably, Tigger had left as a present in the dining room. I say presumably Tigger as this lizard was as big as Kim Chi and Cappuccino is too dumb to catch anything that size. Amy hates geckos with a passion but I think they’re beautiful – not that I want to touch it. Her scream range out across the valley and I’m surprised the police didn’t come.
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful to go on a long drive today and get out of home. It was a struggle.
Everyone was asking me why I wasn’t drawing pictures of Amy, so I thought I’d prepare a little surprise for our 11th wedding anniversary. I started with one of us together and then ones with Amy and one of her friends. I then sent these digitally to her friends and asked them all to send them back to Amy digitally today. It was fun to plan all this and it got me a lot of practice with sketching.
Shaun and AmyAmy and JessicaFern and AmyMay and AmyAmy and MueyAmy and GraceBillie and AmyMai and AmyAmy and Bookie
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful for the TV in our hotel room last night. The porter switched it on when bringing in our bags and I thought it was weird to turn on the TV. As I was waiting for Amy I switched channels by total coincidence they had the ABC Channel and the Swans game was being shown live. I managed to watch the first half before we had to go out for dinner.
I am so happy and grateful for my iPad – I can read comics and books and right now I’m watching Sydney v Richmond at the MCG. It’s a replay and I know Sydney won but it’s great to be able to watch us play so well.
Looking forward to a good day today. Coriky on jukebox – don’t know song title.
Fun dream last night. Met Cake – she is still cool. Wonder when I’ll see her again. Muslim food – Yum.
Amy happy – friends moving near here – excellent news. Update Coach app – new habits – feel myself improving. Watched Sydney Swans game last night but that wasn’t fun.
Dodgy knee maybe okay now?! Realise last night that it’s not hurting anymore. Fix my toe next?! Hope. Bubble of hope. Rubber bubble of hope! Someone fix my neck forever! But don’t kill me I don’t want to die yet. Gonna happen any time. History – doomed to repeat it. Humans innit?
De Lanna by the river – enjoy your thoughts flowing by.
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful that I spent time to put up our decorative lights last night. It was fun and they look cool.
To-do list
Compliment – silent wishes – savour ½
Finish audio for ‘good friends’ clip ✅
Get next blog post ready ½
Record new TCRAH in evening? ½
Scan photos
Now it’s Monday evening. The weekend was a little bit of everything and I was either lazy or too busy to write here but I’ve been feeling fine, getting things done and keeping my head straight. I didn’t get enough sleep last night though – it was Amy’s 41st birthday – dinner with her, her grandmum, mum and dad – and drama.
Anyway, I need to sleep so will come back and write more tomorrow, along with an updated checklist.
Our final day of freedom before students return to school tomorrow. The last two days have been lazy, hot and humid with nice bright sunshine. Though as I’m writing another storm has blown in from the mountains. It’s lovely to cool down but damn, that rain is cold and the air is still warm.
Feeling good again today doing bits and pieces for my blog, a little bit of video editing and drinking coffee. I cannot complain about my life situation currently. I’m happy to be healthy and able to enjoy it. I’ll try to maintain it.
1994ever 