Still dizzy. Even dizzy during my poor sleep last night as my body aches made me uncomfortable. Wondering how serious this might be. But I still pushed through morning exercise hoping that that may get me going. Not quite. Will see how I fair today.
Today I’m grateful for:
Funfai bringing me a food gift. Unfortunately it was pork so I had to return it though I made sure she knew I was grateful.
The best thing about today was:
Finally feeling better by the afternoon after sinking a cup of water with electrolytes. I’m not 100% yet but at least I don’t feel as if I might fall over now.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
My first class this morning was a bit of a test for me and I almost lost it but I think the kids sensed it and were unusually quiet for a little while which softened me a little. I also recalled a daily reminder I have set – “Be grateful for what you have, for it is a gift that can be taken away at any moment.”
Something I learned today?
Some musicians I have worked with in Germany before are rushing to release a compilation to benefit women struggling through the war in Gaza. There are only four days to submit and I don’t think anyone I know would be able to commit to that. But in an effort to be useful, I passed the message on to the current folks I’ve been working with on the Jorando Del Muerto release.
Who is the wisest person I know?
I keep seeing this prompt and thinking it says who is the worst person you know!
The wisest….?
Even people I admire I don’t consider all-wise, all-knowing. Everyone has their foibles. And everyone has some wisdom. Take the best from people so that you can learn. Try everything until you figure it out for yourself.
How am I different than I was a year ago?
Change seems slow until you look back from further in the future. I don’t feel as if I’ve changed much at all in the last twelve months. I can see very minor improvements when I look back at diary entries and think to myself ‘Oh yeah, I remember doing that’ and then making decisions about where to go from there.
Answering this question for five or ten years ago would be much easier to analyse.
How am I stepping outside my comfort zone?
I’m not doing this too much these days but I can think that forcing myself to exercise is outside my comfort zone even though I’ve been doing it regularly for a couple of years now. I’ve been taking cold showers since about March and still going at the moment, testing myself to see how far I can make it into winter. I will go and play tennis with Funfai once a week, just for thirty minutes, despite my aching old bones. I’m still not often comfortable in the classroom either. I’m still learning everything.
No longer memories in a desert That night of drunken play Lost to the pictured word That claims all that happened that day
Today I’m feeling:
Anxious and excited as classroom days resume. The fun, the fighting, the lessons we all learn.
Today I’m grateful for:
Finding two useful textbooks in the teacher’s room which I immediately turned one part of the text into a lesson that I used for the grade 7 class. I figured it would be pretty easy revision and just take an hour but they managed to stretch it to two with lots of faffing around.
The best thing about today was:
Listening to the You Don’t Know Mojack podcast about the Volcano Suns album ‘Thing of Beauty’ on the way home from work and then in the evening playing guitar along to a couple of tunes from it. Love that band.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
A couple of my grade 7 students were a little temperamental in my class this afternoon and tested my patience a lot. It’s early days as we all get used to each other again and instead of getting too bothered, I tried to find other solutions to get them back in line.
Something I learned today?
I read about the China-Laos rail line that crosses the border in Laos at a place called Botan. The crossing in 1993 was little more than a single iron bar gate but now lots of investment has grown the city rapidly. Despite the economic slowdown and the pandemic’s effect on travel, Laotians are hoping that this is a springboard to a better future.
List three goals for this month.
Renew my tourist visa. This is a must!
Get back to the exercise routine I had before the holiday.
Get back to around 80kg again, whilst improving my fitness.
Nam took this picture because the class insisted on a photo with everyone showing off the koala souvenirs I gifted to them.
Fate permitting I will set sail Clearing the rocks and the harbour Navigating the rough and smooth The winds may throw their might But I am on my way
Loosen the sails, watch the sunset Or contemplate the clouds forming Steer by the facts, the stars shining This ship cannot be abandoned New ports on the horizon
Today I’m feeling:
Positive and more awake than yesterday. Having to go to school today wasn’t a big deal as I could sit in House and catch up on my own things for the morning. I got my new timetable which looks okay apart from an individual online section that I’m trying to get made back into a normal class as I’ve already got lots of plans for those students. Either way, I can figure it out.
Today I’m grateful for:
My old Macbook Pro that I was eventually able to login to today after starting it up again yesterday. I got the shuffle going on my iTunes library and now just leaving it running like a radio that I can tune into whenever I want to.
The best thing about today was:
A general feeling of contentment and happiness, which I have been savouring throughout the afternoon.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Getting my new teaching schedule is always a bit of a shock after having got into the rhythm of the previous semester. I have 4 mornings of immediate starts which means rushing some coffee but it’s also good as I prefer that to waiting around. Also another Friday with lessons first thing and last thing with nothing in between. It will all settle in soon enough and I’ll get used to it again.
Something I learned today?
The Thai band SpeechOdd posted a message saying they are recording again and that spurred me onto message them about a possible future release, potentially a split 7” with Stacked State.
What is one funny story about my life?
I don’t think there’s anything funny these days. I mean, all the funny things that happen or occur have just become amusing. Some personal things still make me chuckle and I suppose if I was devilish enough I could spin them into funny tales for others.
That’s actually a little weird to think about. I’m happier than I’ve ever been but I’m not necessarily having fun. I’m enjoying my life as it is, fun or not.
I took this picture because whilst I’ve been away Nong Pear has been practising her coffee-making and wasn’t phased this time when I asked her. She made this amusing latte art so I asked for this photo.
A complete genius or total wanker There’s no in-between A diamond geezer or a tosspot If you know what I mean?
Of course, it was a waste For those with good taste Lost in old England’s dream When the rhythm stick hit Championing the Brit Inspired by old sweet Gene A London vicar A treat or tricker And occasionally obscene With panties and boots From Edwardian roots Cloaked in a music hall theme
inspired by Will Burch’s Ian Dury biography
Today I’m feeling:
(1.30 am) I’m still awake again. I’m super tired but just can’t get to sleep.
(9 am) I reckon I got to sleep at around 3.30 after trying various different places around the house. It was so frustrating. My 8am alarm shook me awake and I did 100 star jumps to try and actually wake up. On the bus and in the city waiting to see Hayden.
(11.15 am) I’m starting to flag. Hayden’s flight was delayed an hour and I’m desperately trying to keep my eyes open.
Today I’m grateful for:
Ray Ahn at Utopia Records and Nic at Repressed Records for giving me information and updates on what’s happening around Sydney these days. I’m glad they still remembered me!
The best thing about today was:
Catching up with Hayden and his news and cruising around town in and out of various shops. Another day of more than ten thousand steps.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
My brain was a little out of control there for a while as I got dizzy looking at all the books in Kinokunya.
Something I learned today?
Ray Ahn recommended three bands to me; fortuitously, one of them will play the show on Sunday.
What brings me the most fulfilment?
Teaching for sure. Since returning to Sydney for these few days I’m realising how much my life has changed since leaving Australia. My eyes opened to new ideas and pace of life. Whereas I may have found fulfilment with music before, organising and working with artists; that feels like a different life. That’s ok. It’s better not to just be stuck in one thing forever. I’ve worn many hats and maybe I’ll still have a chance to wear more.
Who has influenced my life in a profound way?
All the special women in my life. My mom, Emma, Cherry, Bronwyn, TLJ, Echo, Lorraine, Kyoko, Chise and Amy. Small parts and big, all these people I have loved and got me where I am right now, attending a wedding overlooking the beautiful waters of Sydney. It’s been an up-and-down journey that I’m proud to have travelled. Let’s keep going. Now the special women in my life are my students who I hope I can inspire to realise their dreams.
Hayden took this picture because we haven’t seen each other for four years and we’re both happy and healthy these days.
Just wait a minute, slow it down You can’t see the trouble brewing The choices made are pure emotion And you don’t know what you are doing
Wait a minute, test the waters Before the wave crashes and breaks You’re rushing headlong into trouble And the pain of those mistakes
Wait a minute, use your brain Look at the direction you are going Don’t brush off the wiser words Thinking you’ve done all the knowing
Wait a minute before you decide To step into the fire and burn Live to fight another day With all the things you’ll learn
Wait a minute, take a breath Are you certain that you know it all? Is now the time to experience The depths to which you’ll fall?
Today I’m feeling:
Perhaps after yesterday’s prompt about dreams, I was very aware of the dream I was having this morning as my alarm went off. For some reason my thoughts and emotions were spiralling out of control and even as I was aware of it happening I couldn’t control it. Nong Fah was trying to comfort me in a kind of student/teacher role reversal, but it didn’t work.
This dream was based on events from yesterday when Spain was very emotional in class and couldn’t be consoled. He is on the spectrum as is said these days and was having a tough time.
Yesterday I also talked with Fah about not knowing why Feije was acting a bit of character recently because they seemed to have become more friendly.
I woke up feeling a bit stressed and disconsolate but soon got over it with exercise which got the blood pumping but I also had to push hard to motivate myself to complete.
At lunchtime, I found Fah and friends in the library and Feije’s expulsion was the main topic and then, lo and behold, she appeared. Everyone gathered around to get the gossip and I made myself scarce so the kids didn’t feel uncomfortable.
Today I’m grateful for:
Gui’s mum for giving me four or five custard apples from their tree outside the cafe. I was surprised and appreciative.
The best thing about today was:
Finishing all my grading files for my students and reflecting on how the semester has been. It is definitely an improvement on last year for me with fewer frustrations. As ever it is always enjoyable to watch these young people and their stories develop. I appreciate them very much and I feel as if some of them appreciate me in return.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
There was just one point where a couple of students pushed my patience. I knew they were excited for the holidays but I just wanted them to do a little work for me first. Despite their initial defiance, they could see that I was serious and begrudgingly came and did it. I’m glad they didn’t push it further.
Something I learned today?
In my grade 7 classes this week I’ve just been giving short gratitude quizzes asking three things. What they are grateful for, what they learned and if anything is upsetting them. That last question has proved to be the most interesting.
This afternoon one of the students, Film, said that they were worried about another student’s mental health. I looked around the room and that student did look troubled and flustered. I took Film aside and asked what had happened and he told me that the student’s two best friends had been bullying him.
Knowing all the students involved I was not too surprised to hear this.
I took the student off to the teacher’s room and reassured him that the bullies were showing their true colours and were not being good friends. I can see he wants to be good in class but gets roped into doing ‘bad’ things by his friends. I encouraged him and told him that there were other students in the classroom who were concerned and cared about him.
He had a little cry but seemed to understand and appreciate the support. My guess is that they will all be friends again by next semester and it will all be forgotten though I think it would benefit him to find new friends that treat him better.
28th Dec 2023 – Sure enough they are all good friends and thick as thieves again, though I can see the bullied one is a little more cautious now.
What’s my favourite thing to do when I’m feeling down?
These days I kinda know how to stop myself from feeling down but if I feel like I can get it under control I know that sleep often helps me. Another thing that helps is to just do something different. I have so many options available really and it could be something as simple as going for a walk.
I took this picture because Cap hasn’t come and sat next to me for a few months. It was nice to feel his fur on my skin but the temperature was damn hot and sticky already and he was adding to it. I don’t know when or how deeply he sleeps as he seems to move from place to place every five minutes.
The real world is under my nails And all tangled up in my hair Pointing its finger at all my fails And to the successes that I compare
Flocking to spaces our clan created That manic sparkle in our eyes All the struggle adequately compensated With the restocking of new supplies
As the world spins us closer to dying Start thinking highs instead of lows The microcosms in which we’re trying Are the real world that I chose
inspired and choice words borrowed from this post at Spinning Visions
Today I’m feeling:
Happy and positive. I’ve been waking up a little before my alarm more often recently almost as if my body is looking forward to the day. That’s a good feeling.
Today I’m grateful for:
My student Tee, who helped fix other students’ access to use their camera and microphone on their phones so that they could complete the Quiz I asked them to do. Most of the kids’ phones are in Thai so it was difficult for me to help but once I saw he fixed it himself on his phone I recruited him to show others in the class too.
The best thing about today was:
I’m struggling to find a specific thing as the whole day was just pretty damn great!
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
The three annoying boys in my first class today were better than usual but their bravado upsets me. They think that they are great because they finish quickly but then get upset when I have to tell them they got something wrong and to try again. Today they complied fairly well and showed me a little more respect than normal but after the class was finished found all their empty water bottles scattered over the floor. As I was in a reasonably cheerful mood I cleaned up after them but not before taking a photo and sending it to their homeroom teacher.
A few minutes later I was talking to students in another classroom and the boys turned up trying to get my attention and then dramatically apologising. Though I wasn’t that bothered I felt like they lacked sincerity and pretended to be upset and ignored them and brushed them away. I don’t know if they will learn from this or not.
Something I learned today?
I learned today that it is difficult to teach my students to be specific when answering this very question. They confuse doing with learning, saying things like ‘I learned English ’and I had to tell them to be more specific. Even then when they said they studied modal verbs I asked them about that and they couldn’t really say what they learned. I also had to help them understand that they did not just learn things in school but they are learning from each other all the time. For a ‘thinking school’ sometimes it is difficult to get them to actually do that!
How did I put my words into action?
Last week I found out that Funfai plays tennis every day after school for two hours. She asked me if I would come and play with her.
She’s not my student but we remember each other from four years ago in Primary. She was always friendly and curious and wanted to talk. Now when she sees me around school she comes and stands nearby until I see her. She’s too polite to come and interrupt me, especially if I’m talking to other students.
I’m not sure why she likes me or wants me to play tennis with her.
Anyway, I told her I’d try and come and watch her after school one day, knowing that usually I can’t wait to get home and relax but committing to it made me feel like I shouldn’t let her down, even though she is so respectful that she wouldn’t be bothered.
Going to school this morning with my mind set to do this today, I figured that my last class would finish a little early and I could go and get some food in the city for dinner first.
A small delicious vegan plate at Oasis quelled my hunger and I got to the tennis courts on time and I chatted with Funfai for a few minutes before her coach arrived.
Incidentally one of the other coaches there recognised me from teaching at Anuban a few years ago though I didn’t remember him. He was a teacher there but quit to do coaching.
Funfai and I both felt happy that I had kept my word to come and watch her and she immediately asked me again to play. I had no sports clothes with me but thought about it a little and decided I could easily do it on Friday for 30 minutes before her training starts.
I pinky-promised her though again she said that it was ok if I changed my mind.
I want to prove to myself that I do put my words into action in this way.
How does my body feel right now?
Healthy and fitter. I still have a slight lower back ache, probably from too much lying down at the weekends and my left big toe doesn’t seem to be getting any better but is bearable. The various aching muscles from working out and all improving every day with faster recovery times. I’m keen to keep my exercise routine going as it also aids my mental health.
I took this picture because I wanted to send it to Funfai after watching her play. I was a little far away to get good shots but I liked this one.
No eagle, no lion, no predator The playground of hope is dark Clinging tightly to a rape whistle At night to cross the park
From the last to the lowest A place at the table is set Fighting for a share of pie When crumbs are all you’ll get
If the line is ever crossed To rise beyond the station allowed Conspirators will come to cut The tall poppies from the crowd
How may a little girl push the boulder Up the hill each day Without joining together to make Lighter work and play?
Bitter words spat out designed To keep the weakest divided Too late to change the rules of the game With a winner already decided
Today I’m feeling:
Pretty positive. Winding down my brain a little bit as the term ends. I could feel the exercise this morning getting easier and happy to see the body changes going on. When I try to convince some of my students to get some exercise I’m sympathetic to their feeling of lethargy and apathy as I was exactly the same but now I think more about how much better I might have felt in my formative years if I had kept up some proper exercise or even sport.
Today I’m grateful for:
The distortion and overdrive pedal board I have that make it fun to try and play along to noise rock bands. It gets so noisy I can’t tell how badly I’m playing!
The best thing about today was:
My grade 8 class knuckling down and helping each other to complete a task that many of them weren’t prepared for. If they had their books with them and had done all I asked each week then they could easily answer all the questions. I knew many who always forget their books or write on pieces of paper that they lose. Once those kids realised they were screwed they recruited their friends to help but then those kids were busy trying to complete the work. The idea is for the kids to remember to bring their book every time and that will help them. Did it work? A little, perhaps. The smart ones understood and they were free to go when they were done which put the pressure on the others. I enjoyed watching them and helping them when they needed it. For me, at least the class went well.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Everything felt like it was in control today. Not necessarily in my control but nothing really got derailed.
Something I learned today?
Russell Brand has been accused of sexual assault. Whether the accusations are true or not, it is interesting that this is happening now, some 15-20 years after the events, now he is straight, sober, rolling in money and challenging dominant media narratives.
He admits to many bad behaviours in his past and some of the accusations are disturbing and he should at least be held accountable for anything proven.
The investigation into these accusations was done by journalists. Why not by the police?
If I could change anything from my past, what would it be?
With the benefit of hindsight, I want to answer that there’s nothing. In reality, I often answer this question with ‘I wish I had gained wisdom faster and listened to what I was being told instead of being so pig-headed.’
But perhaps if I want to get specific, and again this is with the benefit of hindsight, I would change my drinking habit and despite having many great drunken times, wish I hadn’t used it as a crutch and exacerbated my depression.
When people told me exercise was good for depression I could only exercise my drinking arm. It was impossible to motivate myself through my constant stupor. I’m careful not to tell others so bluntly that they should exercise but just say to go for a walk if you can or start very slowly and not all out to burnout in a week.
I took this picture because as I’m often having days with no pictures I’m forcing myself to find things in the house to take pictures of. This is one piece from my tiny collection of Gloomy the Adult Bear paraphernalia that sits on top of the ledge of the living room door.
Great, despite sleeping badly with aching hips and being too cold from the aircon. I got to school early and enjoyed multiple conversations with students. Most everyone seems to be in a good mood.
Today I’m grateful for:
The small office room at school that doesn’t get used much anymore and I can commandeer to talk one-to-one with students. I need to get them away from each other to see what they really know. To be honest, I don’t see much improvement during this time from most of them but hopefully, bits and pieces are sinking in.
The best thing about today was:
Checking in on David’s grade 8 class after my one-hour class and sitting with the poorer students and getting them started so they could start to see the pattern and what they needed to do. I think those students appreciated it especially when they realised how easy it was.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I got to the new immigration office pretty early but still ended up waiting about 45 minutes just to get the stamp in my passport for another year’s stay. At least I was prepared for this though and could catch up with some reading.
What is a photo that makes me smile every time I see it?
Maybe this used to be photos of Kim Chi but now those same pictures make me feel sad and miss her.
This picture brings back happy memories of new love and adventures.
Where did I show kindness?
Despite wanting to get out of school quickly to get some shopping done on the way home I ended up staying an extra 30 minutes and helping students in David’s class. I also followed up with one of the sleepers in that class to try and encourage them a bit more. It’s like leading cats forward with treats but at the end of the day the cat is still going to do what it wants to do.
I took this picture because I’m always making fun of Baipad for sleeping in class. I think she has some sort of problem that makes her tired as well as probably not eating well and overuse of the phone. The more I think about it the longer the list of things that have a negative impact on these kids these days. What to do…?
I still want a bowl of ice cream for breakfast To burst my pimples onto the mirror My floor will forever be my wardrobe And three-day-old socks may get one more chance I love the delicious pain of peeling scabs To reveal the gloop of the human inside Doodling nonsense when time drags its hands A daydream may be the best part of today
Sniffs of cigarettes and beer Deny both my health and wealth I laugh at the cars racing by With fist shaken out of the window I’ll happily kick a stone along the road And score the winning goal for my team This tree was made to climb And my feet to cushion the jump
Racing a friend for no reason All rules are there to be broken
Today I’m feeling:
Happy to have arrived at Friday. I feel better this week than last. Hopefully, all this exercising is providing me with a little more stamina each week.
Having said that I’m expecting to enjoy a sleep-in tomorrow morning.
Today I’m grateful for:
The candy that has been in my kitchen for about six months. It’s not that I don’t like it but just haven’t thought about eating it recently.
As I had run out of candy that I usually kept in the car earlier this week, some of my students were left disappointed when I had none to give them so I grabbed a handful from the kitchen this morning. The students were happy to receive a treat as they were waiting in line to get a vaccination before classes started. Some students used this as an excuse to go home early (the vaccination, not the candy!).
The best thing about today was:
Talking one one-on-one with some of my grade 7 students again, like I did last year. It’s always revealing to get little snippets of what they really think, especially about each other. It’s also easier to give them individual encouragement.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
The thing I complained about yesterday with one class not helping themselves was repeated again with another class today. So maybe the fault is with me. I need to come up with a better way to get these kids focused and engaged. It’s a constant challenge.
Something I learned today?
There are still 80 million unexploded bombs in Laos, dropped by the USA after bombing raids in Vietnam. If their planes had bombs left on board it was safer (for the plane crew) to drop them rather than trying to land with them. The USA has never been held accountable, along with many other atrocities they have committed around the globe. What a despicable, fucked up country the USA is.
Who do I miss from my past?
Those that have died. Steve, my mum, Kimi.
I don’t feel like I miss anyone who is still alive as it is relatively easy to contact just about anyone. This connects with yesterday’s prompt about taking things for granted though. One day these people will die and I may regret not contacting them when I had the chance.
I miss the feelings I had with certain people as certain times in past. I cherish the emotions and the meaning of those times more than the idea of talking to the particular people involved again.
I’m not sure who took this picture because I left my phone at my side whilst I was concentrating on listening to another student reading and just now found this picture, the only one taken today.
I know you’re sad and feeling upset And your anger is directed at me But I know you just don’t get it yet And one day you’ll eventually see
These growing pains are emotional times And you gather support for your cause But you’re still misreading all the signs And banging your head on closed doors
I hope the light will reveal the way Towards a path that’s free from pain There’s nothing now that I can say That you can understand when I explain
Take your bravado and all your bluster And point it in the right direction And all the learning you can muster Will offer you a lifelong protection
Today I’m feeling:
Better for a good sleep although it wasn’t long enough. I almost succumbed to the snooze but powered through and did my exercise. My busy day ahead, I need to relax into it.
Now I’m back at home and glad the workday is done. I did get home to discover one of our cats decided to use the lounge in the dining room as a toilet which stunk up the dining room. Thankfully it’s not so hot and humid now otherwise I might have been asphyxiated.
Today I’m grateful for:
The projector in our classroom that can share my computer screen for the class to see. Keep reading to find out why this is relevant today.
The best thing about today was:
Being able to keep myself under control despite a series of frustrating events throughout the day.
In my first class, three students didn’t show up and after about 10 minutes I got a message from one saying that they were helping another, Earn, to sort out a problem with her phone. I replied that Earn could sort it out by herself and they should come back to class. A reply came back that Earn doesn’t know how to ride a motorbike so they had to go together. The smell of bullshit was confirmed when I asked the rest of the class about this. I asked their homeroom teacher too and he said to deduct points from them in the system which I duly did. They complained to me later but I told them that their actions have consequences. It feels to me like they are not used to this in general.
In my next class, we don’t have a remote control for the projector and I just use a long stick to push the ‘on’ button. Sometimes I ask the students to do it for me and today I asked Opor. Somehow she had managed to swivel the projector around so it no longer pointed at the wall. I then took over to try and realign it. Now, I already knew that the projector was not quite secure up there as I had seen that there was a bolt missing to keep it slotted into the bracket. This wouldn’t normally matter so long as the projector wasn’t moved. And so…..
With a nudge and a push suddenly the projector slipped off and the wires pulled the cover off the cable concealer and the projector bounced off the table, luckily not injuring anyone.
Somehow it was still working and I quickly managed to rig it up by putting a chair on the table and the projector on a chair with a couple of books to angle it so the kids could still see. I later managed to get it back up onto the ceiling and wound a couple of paper clips through the bracket so that it shouldn’t fall again!
About an hour into the class, I realised one of the students wasn’t doing any work. All they had to do was copy what was showing on the board. He’s not the brightest kid but today really took the cake and it was so daft that I just had to laugh.
I asked him why he wasn’t doing anything. He told me he didn’t have a book. It then came out that not only didn’t he have a book but that he didn’t have anything! I asked what was in his bag that was next to his chair on the floor. He said he didn’t know! What? His friend then explained that somehow he had picked up someone else’s bag and presumably someone somewhere in the school had his!
I asked whose bag it was and again he said he didn’t know! I have no idea what he planned to do to find his bag later! I told him to look inside to find out who it belonged to which would at least give him a clue as to who might have his bag. FFS!
Ok. Enough of that nonsense. But wait… there’s more. I had warned two girls already about playing with their phones in class and had already taken them once but had to return to do the online quiz. The second time I took them and gave them to their homeroom teacher and told the kids they could ask her for them after class.
After class, they went to see her and she said they could have their phones back at the end of the day. They begged that they needed their phones to pay for lunch but the teacher told them to go away. Another student told me they were crying as they walked off.
I felt a little bad for them at that point but the longer I thought about it the better I felt about it as it was a good lesson for them and if they were really hungry they could probably get their friends to pay for them.
Knowing where they hang out I walked past them a bit later and they half-heartedly told me not to talk to them. When I asked what I did wrong they tried to blame me but they knew that they had done the wrong thing. They had accepted the result at this point and didn’t seem too upset in the end.
And…..in the library, some serious gossipy drama was going on between students in the M2 classes and though I couldn’t understand the details it seemed to be heavy teenage stuff. Apparently, they’re having trouble with a couple of other students and I advised them to just ignore it and avoid them if they can.
Then…. For my last class, I decided to sit one-on-one with each student and have them read the text that they had been familiarizing themselves with this week. Yesterday we went through the text and written on the board how to pronounce some difficult words using Thai phonetically.
But it soon became obvious that no one had bothered to help themselves by writing it down themselves! Instead of getting upset (although I was!) I used it as an opportunity to reiterate to them that they need to help themselves and I can’t just magic knowledge into their heads.
They got it. But they will need constant reminders.
I still love all these little rascals.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I guess all the above could apply here though I never really felt out of control. This at least shows some growth within myself.
Something I learned today?
There is now so much information casting doubt on the truth about the hijackers flying planes into the Twin Towers in New York that the whole thing is just making the USA look like a giant clown world. It seems best not to believe anything and not to think too much about it. Is this a sidestep on think global, act local and pushing everyone back towards think local, act local?
The world is a funny place and sometimes I want to switch it off.
What is one thing that I often take for granted in my life?
I answered a similar question to this recently. I take so much for granted really. I don’t have to worry about so many things that other people have to.
Electricity and water are always taken for granted (until that time I forgot to pay the bill!). I would totally have to change my life if either of those went missing for whatever reason.
Showing daily gratitude constantly reminds me of the situation I am in so even if I do take things for granted I can still put out to the world my appreciation.
How did I change today?
It’s appropriate that this question came up today and though my answer doesn’t actually show a change on this day it is the day that I noticed how I have changed in the last couple of years.
The day of challenges thrown at me (described above) would have been handled differently maybe even just one year ago.
I am comfortable where I am right now though I’m unsure if I can take this positive relaxed attitude into future stressful situations that may arise. Nothing to do except to find out.
BB took this picture because Khawhom (pictured) was using my phone to hotspot so I left it on her desk. BB was one of the students whose phone I had confiscated and she cheekily picked up my phone. I noticed and assumed that she was taking lots of pictures in a defiant amusing act of revenge but surprisingly this was the only one. It is also the only picture taken today.
1994ever 