Tag: tenzenmen

Sanctioned – 11th July 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

No bombs dropped 
No drones deployed
Bloodletting stopped
Society destroyed
A silent terror
Stalks night and day
Without error
Slowly eating away
Bloodless coups
To change regimes
No power to choose
Economic dreams
For years to suffer
To wither and die
Each breath tougher
A silent cry
A subjugated state
Media silence
Returns tenfold hate
Brewing violence
Order dies alone
Then the lies reveal
The war comes home 
Melting beams of steel
All the machinations
The manipulators
Warred with nations
Hate generators

Today I’m feeling:

The morning went fine as I had no class and the kids in the playground were all chatty and playful so I felt pretty good hanging out at House drinking coffee. I went back early to get some paper ready for my first class to make origami hearts and that went well and everyone had a good time. For my last class, I prepared a nice little Quizizz lesson about Japan in preparation for Friday’s Japan theme. Sadly things didn’t go well. Twenty minutes into the class and about 12 students hadn’t arrived so I marked them absent. I sent a message to their homeroom teacher who said that six students were helping her. Well, thanks for letting me know. When other students finally arrived I told them that they were marked absent and could leave if they wanted. Some did. Fuck them.

From here the students that were there were already rowdy and got more so as the lesson went on. They were mostly spread out all over the floor, rolling around and playing. I kept my cool as long as I could and we got to the final question of the quiz where the students had to write two things that they learned. When they just started writing nonsense I blew it. They had already been crying to leave early so I made them wait until the actual end time and told them they would have to do the whole quiz again within the next 24 hours and answer the question properly.

I left school bewildered and pissed off. Even the younger kids are more together than this class. And why do I let it bother me? Like I said above  ‘fuck them’ but really I can’t help myself. I want to try to make it better. So I have to find a different way. I’ll think about it more this week.

Today I’m grateful for:

The one or two students in that class who were paying attention and trying their best. I’m glad to see that some of them have some awareness about what is going on around them though they feel just as helpless as me.

The best thing about today was:

My first class making origami hearts was a lot of fun. I told them that they could write inside who they wanted to give their heart to and that caused a lot of frivolity. As they finished making them I handed back ever smaller pieces of paper to see how small they could go. They all accepted the challenge eagerly.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

While I was drinking my morning coffees Amy messaged me that her cousin (?) Boom had died. He had gotten sick after exposing himself somehow to some strong insecticide which started eating away at his legs. He was given medicine to help but apparently decided taking multiple doses would cure him quicker but sadly it fucked up his internal organs until they gave out. I’m not sure this is the full story but the sad thing is that it is possible he could have survived if he had money to pay for ICU for longer. Unfortunately, he had a bad habit of being spoiled by his family and had frittered away everything that they ever had. I don’t think people deserve this fate but some people certainly don’t do anything to help themselves.

In the back of my mind this afternoon, whilst struggling with my class, was having to go to the temple, possibly this evening but thankfully I don’t. I’m still feeling tense and annoyed. It looks like I will be able to go on Friday late morning as it is nearby. That’s better than having to go after the work day.

Something I learned today?

I read and learned a lot this morning but now my mind is full of saltiness. I look forward to waking up more positive tomorrow.

What does it mean to be wise?

This morning I heard a great line from Gino Jevdevic from Kultur Shock. It went along the lines of, to be old and wise you must be first young and stupid. I guess that’s no guarantee but perhaps feels like a requirement. So people seem to be wise already in their youth. Something innate for a special few though no doubt they themselves may not see it that way.

To be wise? To understand oneself, to understand the world as best as you can and for that understanding to bring contentment.

When was the last time I showed perseverance?

I think I show this quite often. For example, I will persevere with this annoying class of mine even when my thoughts are of just giving up on them. I will try to find a way to make it work for them and for me. 

I’m persevering with guitar playing despite very slow progress, same with learning Thai. I have kept going with tenzenmen for 20 years already through various ups and downs. 

I’ve persevered with writing here on this app too, almost a year now, so this sentence is an example of the last time I showed perseverance,

I took this picture because the sun was playing crazy with the tops of the clouds and this storm that threatened blew away somewhere else.

Phobia – 3rd May 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

What are you really afraid of
When you’re afraid of what you’re told?
Are you really afraid of
These things you can’t even touch or hold?
Or are you afraid that your dreams
Will crumble at the lies that you’ve been sold?
Keep those dreams beside your bed
Unable to sleep on your mattress of gold

Today I’m feeling:

In the morning I was tired from getting up too early so instead of an afternoon nap I went for a morning one instead!

Today I’m grateful for:

All the artists and musicians I’m currently working with on upcoming releases for tenzenmen. Things have slowed down but I’m still happy to be helping musicians make music that I really enjoy.

The best thing about today was:

Wanting to play guitar. I just haven’t had the feeling for this past month though had been forcing myself every couple of days even if just for five minutes. I did about ten minutes in the afternoon but then felt compelled to pick it up again in the evening.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Eating lunch at the restaurant I was happy with green curry salmon and a side dish of cabbage in fish sauce. I was enjoying the spicy sauce and went for a spoonful of the cabbage which I happily chewed up like the cows outside my kitchen window, grinding the vegetable into a swallowable pulp. However, the chilli suddenly induced a sneeze which I managed to catch with my hand without too much damage. But then I felt another coming and I stupidly tried to hold my nose which didn’t have the desired effect of killing the sneeze. Instead, the sneeze manifested and forced air out of my mouth along with its contents! Chewed cabbage pulp hit my hand and sprayed in a wide arc over the table and onto the floor. I quickly tried to clean myself and the table, thankful I don’t think anyone saw what happened. I picked up pieces off the floor after finishing eating trying not to show any guilt. I think I got away with it though I’m giggling and embarrassed at the same time.

Something I learned today?

Today I learned that it is Cap that pees on the folding mattress as I caught him in the act. All this time blaming Tigger; though I had my suspicions. Amy was concerned when I told her as this behaviour is often a cat’s way of saying there’s something wrong. After coffee, I can back and set up the litter tray and stick him in it and he started peeing immediately. I put a tissue under him and could see that there was no blood which is usually an indicator of some problem. Then he went and sat at the sliding door and looked out at Tangmo who had come into the garden when I came home. It was then I realised that yesterday Tangmo had chased Cap into the house and so maybe Cap was reluctant to go outside to pee and decided that the mattress was the best replacement. Recently I’ve been leaving the gate open overnight so it’s possible Tangmo has been here during the night and maybe chased our cats inside from time to time and made them afraid. I noticed Tigger being indoors more recently and I thought it was just due to the heat but perhaps it’s all connected with Mo. I wish he was a calm dog and could be friends with our cats, but we don’t have much choice as he’s not ours. I’ll be keeping the gate shut more now though.

What is happening around me right now?

I’m sitting in Tid Doi Tid Din having just finished some lunch. I needed a full food hit to keep me going today so ate green curry salmon with rice and cabbage in fish sauce. Not sure if it’s enough to buck my energy up but at least it’s a fresh range of vitamins and minerals.

I’m sitting at a corner table next to the window and near the door. Outside, cars and trucks speed past on the highway only about ten feet from where I’m sitting behind big plate glass and in the cold air conditioning. Outside looks hot and I can’t decide if I want to go to Daytripper to see if they have banoffee or not. I’m enjoying the aircon as I see students on motorbikes (3-up) at the U-turn burning their bare exposed legs in the sun or on the bike’s exhaust.

There are not many customers here but enough to keep the staff on the move. This restaurant is kind of attached to the hotel behind it from which it draws most of its custom. I haven’t been here for about three years though do very occasionally order delivery from here. It’s expensive for the students and across the highway I can see a plethora of white shirts and black pants and skirts in the local food shop with 30 baht plates.

The environment inside is appealing, a mix of modern with traditional wood finishes and floors. The wall opposite me is lined with rows and rows of bottles of wine and beer and by the door the clunky PC and keyboard that controls everything.

I took this picture because I’m treating myself to lunch today.

Balloon – 3rd February 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Let go and let fly
Gathering data from the sky
To understand a stormy why

Unsteered and set adrift
To heavens, the air will lift
Arriving as an unwanted gift

A drama begins to bloom
Gossipped hot air fills the room
Fills and refills the balloon

Tricked and deceived by lies
It comes to no one’s surprise
The balloon contained no spies

Debut album for Melbourne Noise Punks Ad Interim
now available for pre-order on vinyl with two bonus tracks unavailable elsewhere at adinterim.bandcamp.com/merch or stockrecordsperth.bandcamp.com/merch

A joint release by Tenzenmen and Stock Records

CD/digital originally released April 11, 2022

Guitar + Vocals – Max Ducker
Bass – Michael McQueen
Drums – Roger Newall
Guest vocals on “Sideways” – Prue Elyn

Recorded and Mixed at Cellar Sessions Studio by Max Ducker.
www.cellarsessionsstudio.com
Mastered By Alan Smith at Bergerk Studios

Today I’m feeling:

Tired and a little rundown. Reasonably happy though despite some of my annoying students.

Today I’m grateful for:

The lady who I bought the salted fish from as she gave me extra sauce. Not that I could use it today. One pack is sure to be burning my ass tomorrow.

The best thing about today was:

Enjoying my classes and students despite what I mention below. We had a playful time and enjoyed learning and carried on into the playground during lunchtime.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

As usual, it was some of my students and their disrespectful attitudes and I handled it by kicking them out of my class. Other students asked if I was angry or upset but I wasn’t. I told them I was happy now that those students were gone. I think they were happy too.

Something I learned today?

I learned not to give Cap and Tig the special treats we have as it’s only for Kim. I found out when Amy watched me feeding them via video call. I thought I’d seen her giving it to them before but I was mistaken.

What word or phrase would I like to give this year?

2023 – The Year of…..

Maybe this question will be better answered at the end of the year.

I took this picture because Tigger just loves the dust and dirt of our garden. I don’t know if it’s ever going to be possible to clean up his skin without keeping him inside, which he would hate.

Vehicle Residency – 6th January 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

The dream was to own two
Kept in a suburban home
Now you’re lucky to have one
And live in it alone

Man’s never-ending greed
Entitled to go too far
Is a dream slipping away
As you’re living in your car

“Blending experimental and post-punk moods with distorted, feedback-laden guitar riffs, both bands arrive in with frenetic energy, driving their songs forward with a pounding intensity and almost eerie atmosphere. The vocals are raw, aching, and powerful, delivering the lyrics with a sense of urgency and emotion characteristic for screamo bands, building to a climax with layers of abrasive noise and a wall of sound that is both chaotic and exhilarating.” – idioteq.com

For 10″ vinyl purchase go here:
norseband.bandcamp.com/album/split-w-abandoncy (Europe/world)
newkneerecords.bandcamp.com (US)

and also check out all our other partner labels:

www.konodischi.com
shoverec.bandcamp.com
vinarecords.com
longrailrecords.bandcamp.com

Today I’m feeling:

Happy, busy, winding down. It’s been a busy week and has culminated in an empty house again as Amy left this morning. Now I’m listening to music and thinking about how to motivate myself back into a solo routine again.

Today I’m grateful for:

Kru Champ and my boss Nancy, who, separately, both told me I was a great teacher. I appreciate hearing that as sometimes I doubt myself.

The best thing about today was:

Playing Takraw with some students for a little while. We were all equally terrible at it but we were laughing every few seconds.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

It’s been a very busy but unstressful day and nothing is coming to mind that was out of my control. Days like this are very nice though a little disturbing as I could slip into an orgasmic coma. Good days are a drug, always looking for it, chasing it, in its grip.

Something I learned today?

Amy showed me the online seller that has better prices on cat food than the ones I found. It’s gotten really expensive recently and everywhere has run out of stock. Amy was able to order and see that it was packed and on its way almost immediately. I’ll believe it when it turns up!

What’s your favourite Mexican food?

I think just vegetarian nachos. I find the Mexican food I’ve tried all tastes similar but just with a variety of textures. You can’t go wrong with vegetarian – cheese, beans, guacamole, sour cream, spicy sauce. There’s a Mexican restaurant here in Chiang Rai and thinking about this has got me hungry to go again!

I took this picture because this poor old smelly lovely dog just loves our house! The auntie who owns him says he sits on their porch always looking at our house, sometimes too impatient to know what’s going on and coming over to sit on our porch. Today he even barked at his own family as they were in the field next to our house.

Squash – 18th November 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Some days feel so full of lack
And nothing goes right at all
Remember that you’ll be bouncing back
Just like a small black rubber ball

It is only when you meet someone of a different culture from yourself that you begin to realise what your own beliefs really are.

George Orwell, The Road To Wigan Pier

Today I’m feeling:
Good but a little frustrated.
Today I’m grateful for:
The couple of orders I received for tenzenmen products after a quick promo post a couple of days ago. I don’t sell much these days but I appreciate everyone who shows interest.
The best thing about today was:
Playing with Tangmo with the rope as I went off to the post office and market and him proudly running off and presenting the rope to the aunties back home. When I came back I rode up and collected it from auntie Sue and we both chuckled. Tangmo had gone off in search of other adventures by that time.
Daily thought
How are you going to remember to keep fighting when the storm is around you? Running away is the easy option and sometimes serves a purpose but how are you to calm yourself down in the heat of the moment and carry on?
What is your “grit” word?
A ‘grit’ word? Is this a thing now? A word to remind yourself to keep going? I could have done with that today. After leaving my class early because I was annoyed by the attitude of some students, I talked with Saipan later (she is one of the smarter, motivated ones) and told her I wasn’t happy with the classes behaviour today and she just looked at me and said ‘keep fighting ‘ like she was a wise old auntie. Keep fighting or ‘su-su’ in Thai is what everyone says to a complaint and in my mind, there’s an underlying implication of ‘shut up and get on with it.’ Maybe this is my grit word.

Someone took this picture because they need a friendly foreign face for the school promotional material and it was my turn. I seem to be looking off to the side but at least my eyes are open! The girl is JubJib, a smart one in my class who I can’t really teach as her skills far surpass many of the other students whose level I have to teach to.

Pie Time – 26th October 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Savour the crumbs of the pie
Scraps picked from the floor
Be sure to breed and multiply
The cogs must turn some more
Money is power is oil is gold
Not for some to touch
And so the story has been told
From parent to child as such
Oil is power is money is gold
Only for some to touch
And so the lie has been sold
There’s already too much
So savour those crumbs of pie
Get back to the factory floor
Sons step in as fathers die
And so remains the score

Leaving this will be easier than living it.

Charles Bukowski

Today I’m feeling:
am: happy and relaxed – pm: tired and subdued
Today I’m grateful for:
My hair bleach to make me feel younger, at least when I look in the mirror. I’m still mixing up old congealed powder that I bought years ago and too thrifty to throw out. It’s not perfect but it still does the job.
The best thing about today was:
Crossing a few little bits and pieces off the to-do list. I have a few more that I have to remember for tomorrow too including picking up a cake for my birthday that Amy has arranged for me. Thank you my lovely little Amy.
What jobs do you do in life that you don’t get paid for?
Thinking in reverse, I do one job of teaching that I do get paid for and I don’t get paid for anything else so it comes down to what might be considered a job. I have a hobby promoting musicians and their music that does have minimal income but I don’t consider it as getting paid and loses more money than it gains. I don’t have any philanthropic jobs. I do work at things but none of them are jobs.

I took this picture because Kim Chi is enjoying sitting on the toilet mat and doesn’t move out of the way when I want to go. This is what I look down at!

The Bull Remains – 30th September 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 4 Comments

The rain makes the dragonflies dance
Across the green rice field sea
Stalks quivering under droplets weight
Bent to the breeze in a quiet tango
Four rainbows beam from the mountain
Tin rooves announcing progress
Animals seek out shelter
Yet the bull remains, unamused

4th Sep 2024 – Submitted to Moonwashed Weekly Prompt

In recent seasons of being, I have had occasion to reflect on the utterly improbable trajectory of my life, plotted not by planning, but by living.

Carl Jung

For vinyl pre-order: cowman.bandcamp.com/album/slaughter

Hand-numbered limited edition of 50. The first 10 include a copy of “Eye”, a handwritten and numbered book (handmade in Nepal) of aphorisms and poems.

For tape release (available soon): cruelnaturerecordings.bandcamp.com

Everyone involved in this release:
cowman.bandcamp.com/album/slaughter
cojurecords.wordpress.com
cruelnaturerecordings.bandcamp.com
www.inguerecords.com/cowman.html

released September 30, 2022

Recorded and mixed at the Slaughterhouse
January-February 2022
Mastered masterfully by Carl Saff

♥Juju, Steve, Cruel Nature, Lucie, Audrey, Gyeong-ryeong, Fai, George, birdbath, Ingue, Simon, Shaun, Tenzenmen, Seb, Dan, James, Tong-ann, Yuting, EBSN and my Mum

Today I’m feeling:
Happy and relaxed.
Today I’m grateful for:
The coconut shop that makes delicious iced coconut water drinks. They are delicious but disappear too quickly like good things are supposed to.
The best thing about today was:
As I was walking to the coconut shop a school van pulled up, the door opened and I heard ‘teacher!’ and it was my student Baipad, who I found out lives next door but one to Black Smooth cafe. I think there are a couple of other students in my village but Baipad is the first I’ve actually seen around and all because I decided to walk instead of going by motorbike.

I took this picture because it was only by chance that I saw these strange star-shaped flowers on this cactus. Pretty and pretty interesting.

Know-all – 12th June 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

All I mean to say
There’s a bridge to Coolidge
No, all I really say to mean…
A man in a van can seem
Of age already, cameage
So many impressions
Of the ice man
And what do these clean sheets mean?
In need of a pep talk
As the all-o-gistics are denying caffeine
Living a schizophrenia dream
Sometimes Uranus is a bonus cup
But there’s no need to be jealous of the world

If you know, you know.

It is not what happens that determines the quality of our lives, it is what we choose to do when we discover that the wind has changed directions.

Jim Rohn

Band members:
Lionel Beyet: Bass, Samples
Yves Vranckx: Bass, Samples
Vincent Desantos: Drums
Saxophone on Ghost Whale by Bruno Margreth:

Recorded by Mehdi Ayari at Magasin4, Brussels, 20 & 21 January, 2022
Mixed; by Raphaël Terlinden, April-May 2022
Mastered by Nicolas Beyet , June 2022
All tracks by Ghost:Whale
Artwork by Mr Lib

Respect to labels that support us, love you:

FRANCE/BE:
P.O.G.O. – pogorecords.bandcamp.com
FRANCE:
Bonobo stomp – bonobostomp.blogspot.com
FRANCE.
Bitume Records – bitumeprods.bandcamp.com
SWISS:
Urgence Disk – www.urgencedisk.ch – urgencedisk@bluewin.ch
THAILAND:
Tenzenmen – tenzenmen.bandcamp.com
USA:
Forbidden Place Records – forbiddenplacerecords.bandcamp.com
SPECIAL EDITIONS:
SWEDEN
A special edition handmade digipack limited at 33 copies is available in by Clouded Mind Records
cloudedmindrecords.bandcamp.com
USA
Tape edition is available by
The Ashton Velvet Rock Club Recording Company (USA)
avrcrc.bandcamp.com

OUR YOUTUBE CHANNEL
www.youtube.com/watch?v=qKC3oFN97AA&list=PLFtGH3IdUh26ETJy1_bdR9bGrHAw4qVym&index=2

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful that I can use Facebook to stay in contact with my old students and I can watch them grow and develop into adults over the years. It’s a very amazing feeling to be a part of their journey, even if it is only a small part.

New Names – 12th December 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 9 Comments

40 years or many aeons
It’s all exactly the same
What more is there to see?
Just give it a new name

Every empire risen
Has since fallen away
It’s the rhythm of events
There’s nothing that will stay

Do not dwell further on it
Neither choose to ignore
Every atom recycled
And we will be no more

14th Jun 2024 – Submitted to Poets and Storytellers United Friday Writings #131

Eremo are a four-piece math-rock band fighting their way out of Milan, IT since 2015

L’ego in un pagliaio recorded at Trai Studio
Mastered by Snug Recording

Artwork by Federico Verde
eremo.bandcamp.com – released May 2021

s/t originally released December 2016

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for the cheap rope I bought for Tangmo to play with and that I found it again in the field opposite after he ran away with it last night.

Ploughed through all my recently downloaded music. Some genius works there and lots of perplexing nonsense. I have too much and also not enough. I have half a plan to do another new podcast for a while. We’ll see. I want to get on top of my blog more than anything.

The daylight is weird today. It’s warm but looks like it will rain but it is 100% unlikely to rain. It’s making me feel tired. Or maybe I am tired. I think I just want to go and watch crappy TV for a while. Give my brain a break.

Safety First – 13th September 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

It’s a dirty war where enemies become friends
And friends enemies to further their own ends
To the victor the spoils, to make up the rules
To put out the fires burning on hated fuels

Some will celebrate whilst others may flee
An order emerges to which most want to agree
Freedom for the ignorant, itself its own cage
Repeated ad infinitum on every history page

Better to be oppressed than constantly scared
It’s all relative when your life has been spared
Safety comes first, freedom a patient wait
Rebuilding lives, thankfully able to create

Stop running tired now passed that difficult test
Grateful once more, living again, amongst the blessed

29th May 2024 – Submitted to Weekly Prompts Wednesday Challenge

Cassette collecting all KLS releases from 2014-2021

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful that in my dream last night I tried to protect the people I love – even though I woke up screaming, waking up the people I love!

I was not in the best of moods over the weekend but not terrible. I think I ran out of energy yesterday and just ended up reading and watching TV. Last week, on Monday, I gave George some ground coffee as a gift and to show that I’m OK with him even though he doesn’t interact with me anymore.

Then, on Friday, as I was listening to YouTube and just before writing my entry here, he came into my classroom, which was a bit of a surprise, and I smiled towards him as he approached. He came up to me with the coffee and said, ‘Why did you give me this?’ I said, ‘No reason – just a gift. You drink coffee, don’t you?’ He put it on the table and said, ‘I don’t accept gifts for no reason’, turned around and walked off. I was speechless.

I sat for a while, writing my entry and decided not to mention this and to think about it over the weekend first. This may have also affected my mood a little, but I realise I feel quite resilient to this kind of behaviour! It gets me curious about what makes people act in this way. Suspicion? Pride? Culture? Anyway, I will ignore this stupidity,

I talked a little with Amy and Bruno about it. Amy blames me for even trying to interact with him. Bruno agreed that it was strange behaviour but not so uncharacteristic from what he know of George. We all agreed that we all feel sorry for Bee, who knows what he is like and puts up with it, whatever her reasons.

Anyway, I gave the coffee to Champ this morning, who was really appreciative of it!