Lead By Example – 17th February 2023

Oh, won’t you show me the way?
As Peter Frampton used to say
If you want the world in your image
You’ll want everyone to play

If your example is to cheat and steal
This may not really appeal
If you can’t change and adapt
Perhaps your intentions are not real

If your example is subjugation
To control every other nation
Don’t be surprised when you fail
It’s a simple explanation

Do as you would have done
This is not a war for anyone
Compromise and coordination
Is how hearts and minds are won

23rd Sep 2024 – Submitted to Word of the Day Challenge – example


Today I’m feeling:

Contemplative and calm today.

Today I’m grateful for:

Finding a stash of whiteboard markers in the teacher’s room as both of mine ran out yesterday. I was hoping to squeeze the last drop out of them until the end of the semester as new ones are usually hard to come by at this time of year. I was surprised to come across a pencil case with at least four new markers in. I was kind enough to leave two!

The best thing about today was:

With letting the M2 kids have free time today to allow those that wanted to go to Big’s funeral I enjoyed sitting with them and watching them entertain themselves with games, drawing and dancing. I was happy to let them divert their thoughts though many of Big’s class were still subdued.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

There had been mention of some kind of conference this weekend that teachers would attend though both David and I had only heard it second-hand from other Thai teachers.

As usual, communication here is shithouse and I was quite prepared to just ignore it and claim ignorance. However, as we’ve had lots of free time with sports week and scout week I made a last-minute attempt to get information by sending a message to our department head, Kru Nu. She replied but only gave the location, nothing about times or agenda. Oh well, it’s better than nothing I guess.

The Chinese whisper is that registration is from 8am to start at 9am so I reckon I’ll get there close to nine and grab coffee at House on the way.

It’s annoying that one of the cats has sprayed on my bed right near the pillow and I was hoping to be able to wash the sheets this weekend. David also told me he had to cancel plans too. As we always say, this is Thailand.

Something I learned today?

I saw a crazy video of a train line in the US that is in the same state as the recent accident there (Ohio) and holy shit I couldn’t believe that a train could even travel on it. The lines zigged and zagged and dipped and rose and looked well in need of repair.

Later I read that there have been four derailments in the last two weeks, at least one of which also contained hazardous material. Along with a video of an overturned road tanker spewing toxic gases into the air, it’s what you’d expect in a third-world country.

What details am I noticing right now?

The powerful thudding bass from either Yerm or more likely some villager’s PA where they may be singing karaoke or Thai luk krung songs. I can only hear the thuds.

I’m sleepy and may even skip my shower.
I can still smell the fabric softener in my Government Issue t-shirt despite having been wearing it for a week (though only usually ten minutes a day).

I can also smell the candle burning in the bedroom to counter the smell of cat spray on my bed.

I can hear the whir of the fan in my computer and in the power supplies for the camera system.

I can feel the crick in my neck from lying down while writing this. Also the ache in my wrists.

I’m also noticing the phone battery is about to run out.

Good night Jim Bob.

From the vaults, I took this picture last month on my bike ride. Just looking at it again now makes me want to go again!

Pay Attention – 29th September 2021

Are you listening carefully
To the big world around?
Are you looking where you’re walking
Or just staring at the ground?

Notice all the details
Little things easy to miss
Be grateful with all your senses
From which to bring you bliss

Breathe deep the air in thanks
Test everything you touch
Taste each gift of food
With the passion you love so much


Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for the buttery smell this morning as Amy prepares for a busy day baking cinnamon scrolls.


Today I’ve been feeling a little antsy though I’m not sure why. I think maybe yesterday I spent too long sitting and my lower back and thighs felt sore and then I woke up with a stiff neck again. I wasn’t looking forward to another day of sitting, whether at school or at House.

So, as I was going for coffee I decided to head to 22 Grams and read there for a bit, before heading to House. How lucky I am to be able to go to two cafes before even going to work!

There’s talk that we’ll have no holiday this time and that’s kind of a bummer if it happens, but as Dylan said, it’s not exactly like we work that hard anyway. He and George don’t put in the same sort of effort as I do from what I can see and I don’t mean that as a comparison but as a statement that for them they are very relaxed about their classes and the work the students put in. I can’t help myself being fully invested in helping my students.

Nearing the end of the semester, I’m relaxing too but even though I can sit around doing as I like most of the day, I would rather be able to do that at home. Having said that, I probably wouldn’t get as much done, such as reading, blogging or even writing this!

Poetry is Useless – 30th June 2021

I like this quote from Michael Longley (a poet) – courtesy of Rob Walker’s Art of Noticing newsletter:

“One of the marvelous things about poetry is that it’s useless. It’s useless. ‘What use is poetry?’ people occasionally ask, in the butcher shop, say. They come up to me and they say, ‘What use is poetry?’ And the answer is, ‘No use.’ 

“But it doesn’t mean to say that it’s without value. It’s without use, but it has value. It is valuable. 

“And the first people that dictators try to get rid of are the poets and the artists, the novelists and the playwrights. They burn their books. They’re terrified of what poetry can do. … Poetry encourages you to think for yourself.

The picture is from the Drawn and Quarterly book by Anders Nilsen ‘Poetry is Useless’ – I’d like to read that one day!

25th Mar 2024 – Although I didn’t really write much myself here I submitted this to the Living Poetry page.

Return Voyage

All the striving, the work, the living
Has brought me to my lifelong dream
What now that I have nothing to be giving
Just floating by, on my way downstream
What for me? A challenge, just because?
The journey is far better than the arrival
A brain stimulation, a stress all a-buzz
Life – is it anything more than my survival?
A challenge now I must myself set
To instil my life with some meaning
I’ve found myself before and never forget
I must no longer neglect my dreaming
A journey like this may only be complete
On return to the place that I came
Those from which I ran in defeat
Though I know I will never return the same


Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to the colony of ants that ingeniously built a huge nest behind our washing machine without us noticing. It’s amazing to see – they bought in bits of mud to build the nest, millions and millions of tiny pieces to make a huge pile in the corner. Unfortunately for them, we are going to remove it this afternoon!

The Art of Noticing Electricity Meters – 13th June 2021

On a walk last week I picked some things to notice, one being electricity meters. In England and Australia these things are usually hidden away somewhere but here in Thailand they are usually visible somewhere out on the street where, although they can be easily tampered with, they can be easily read by the Electricity Board. They are not particularly noticeable though – unless you start looking for them. I found these ten quickly on a single walk.

The other thing that these pictures got me thinking about was Thai’s fascination and superstition about numbers. I haven’t heard anything specifically about numbers on these meters but lottery tickets and car number plates (as well as auspicious dates) are considered gossip worthy by many people here. When folks are told that their car number plates are not very lucky they may be guided by a fortune teller or particular monk to add another number to the plate, usually smaller than the numbers of the official plate. This goes along with a superstition about the colour of one’s car and if told they have an unlucky colour will add a sticker saying ‘This car is blue’ to improve their luck.

Thai’s (generalising) put way too much stock into these kinds of things, thinking that they have little or no control over their own lives. When they put little effort into improving themselves they can blame bad luck for their failures. Obviously I don’t think this is good, but am I right? I just tell myself I am.


Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to look back at some of the better poems I have written. I think I can find it easier to distil my thoughts and feelings into 4-20 lines of verse rather than writing a diary. Anyway, I’m glad to get back into the habit of writing poems.

The Art of Noticing Wall Pictures – 25th May 2021

Forcing myself to notice the pictures and decorations on the walls in different places. Strangely, this was a tough one and it made me realise that I don’t go to many different places, especially during these difficult pandemic times. Of course, it may be that I did go to many places but didn’t notice the pictures on the wall!

This was the first picture – taken all the way back on Jan 6th!
Finally got to 10 pictures today!

Poems on this day

Field of Observation

Warm damp air clings to us
In the middle of our own field
Like quantum theory – look away
A million fireflies are revealed

Lightning flashes on the horizon
Boding well the breeze to come
Buzz on about your business
There’s space here for everyone

Illusions

The grey is not just in the sky
It’s in my head, my half-closed eyes
The passions of yesterday are gone
The words said cannot be undone

This sick mind exaggerating
All my deadly contemplating
A coward stuck in sheep’s clothing
Just wants an end to my self-loathing

To run away, just run and run
To put an end to what’s become
We slowly watched things going sour
Took the pain and gave it power

We mixed it up, caused confusion
Stuck inside this brief illusion
I still love you, I will always love you
How can I ever love myself?

Rocks and Oils

Artificial lines and boundaries
Sought to divide and rule
Keep the savages occupied
Then pour on extra fuel

Some arbitrary borders
Laid down after wars
Pay us to keep the peace
We’ll be back to settle scores

Killed a man a thousand years ago
For this, you’ll one day pay
And grab this dirty rock of yours
Put down a flag and say

‘Get out and stay out’
You’re not welcome here
Our fathers always taught us
You are not what you appear

This Is A Test

Some days I ask myself
Just what am I doing here?
On good days things make sense
But others are not so clear

Sensitive to your words
Your scathing drunken attack
I can’t always shrug it off
Unless you take them back

Regularly we cycle
Through this vicious routine
So here we go again
What does it all mean?

I just wanted to take it easy
Sit back and relax
But then I see you drinking
Preparing your attacks

Let’s sit down and fix it
Make things for the best
Many more years ahead of us
This is just a test

Plus Minus

If I keep writing down these negative thoughts
Am I throwing them out or reinforcing them?
Am I making things worse than they already are
Or should I be symbolically divorcing them?


Gratitude Journal

I’m so happy and grateful to be able to stand in our garden at night and watch all the fireflies buzzing around. To feel the warm air surround my skin and to stare at the moon and wonder if I could go there. It seems close enough to touch.


The best thing about today was thinking and writing my way out of a funk. Last night, I was a little cranky, and Amy was drinking again. I was in bed, and she came in to play, but I wasn’t really in the mood. Then she bit my face, and I pushed her off me. She felt insulted and complained that I don’t love her anymore and walked out. I was tired and annoyed, and although I was thinking about these words, I was so tired I fell asleep and didn’t even hear Amy come to bed.

I was woken up during the night, having a dream that Amy was getting too friendly with Ben, another of the teachers we know, and after that, it was difficult to get back to sleep.

I snoozed my alarm, and Amy didn’t bother to get up in the morning, but before I left, I told her that I was worried about her still. She said she was the one who should be worried. I get really upset when she’s drinking and says things like ‘you don’t love me anymore’ just because I’m annoyed with her behaviour at the time.

This morning, I couldn’t feel my way out of this darkness, but eventually, by the afternoon,n I was feeling OK. Not brilliant, but OK. However, Amy was in a short and bad mood when I got home due to an upset stomach and problems with something she was trying to bake.

I thought we could go for a drive tomorrow – it’s a holiday here again. Amy asked ‘Where?” but I just don’t care where – just get out of the house and see what is out there. We both know that there is nothing out there but it’s just a distraction from staying home again.