Tag: The Road Not Taken

Dead Fred – 9th January 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

It’s a baggy-eyed business
This thinking of words
Hoping just sleeping
On the line with the birds

A birthday party is humming
A familiar feeling of lack
It’s an obscene affair
But those words are coming back

based on Nick Cave’s Red Hand Files #217

Today I’m feeling:

Relaxed and happy

Today I’m grateful for:

The bathroom at House. I had to go into the city after drinking coffees and water at House and in the time from leaving to heading back school I was busting. I didn’t think I’d make it to school so quickly ducked back to use the bathroom at House – just in time!

The best thing about today was:

Eating the bread that Nut made and brought round yesterday along with the smoked salmon and cream cheese Amy left here. I’m so happy to have people around me to feed me!

Also talking with Amy on video call. Though she’s far away it feels like she’s right here. Conversation and communication hasn’t changed since she left, just the method.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I think it’s good that it’s getting harder to think of things that were out of my control. I don’t recognise those things so easily now as they don’t affect me, I’ve let go. Sure, there was lots that was out of my control today but it was all inconsequential. Can I say they were handled without even thinking?

Something I learned today?

Robert Frost’s The Road Not Taken was written as a jest to his friend but has been turned, rightfully I think, into a call for individualism and taking chances. I like Frost’s quip ‘I’m never more serious than when I’m joking.’ Truth is often told in jest.

Where can you reduce clutter in your life?

Physically I’m relatively uncluttered these days. As I’ve gotten older, the spaces I’ve lived in have gotten bigger whilst I’ve been buying less. So the stuff I do have is just more spread out. Digitally I’m trying to reduce the clutter of my photos and music library. This has involved me doing nothing so far but knowing that this is where I can reduce clutter in my life.

I took this picture on Saturday because it’s all about the edges. Where the water meets the land, dividing it, where stories are made and bridges built. The mountains and the sky, clear division.

First full school day with no Amy. Back to business as usual.

Running around a little today getting together things for my work permit. So much paper waste in Thailand. 7 copies of every stamped passport page! Once this paper is filed it will never be seen again.

Good classes today, kids happy enough, teacher happy enough. I’m starting to sit back a little and can see some self-motivation from some of the students now.

Mum and Dad’s plumbing guy came and fixed up my pipe and it looks ok except for the hole in the concrete. I’ll have to figure out how to take care of it at some point I guess. Maybe just fill it with sand. Anyway, only around 600 baht to sort out. Happy with that.

Tangmo rolled around the grass as I caught up on watering.

Talked to Amy about the coming year and how things might work out. I think the seed has been planted to do something here but there are another 6-12 months for new ideas to pop up.

There You Are – 8th January 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

No matter which road you take
You’ll always sigh
And wish you’d taken another
Yet no error is a true mistake
Do you know why?
Because really, there is no other

inspired by The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost, who wrote the first three lines in a letter to Edward Thomas, whom the poem was written for.

Today I’m feeling:

Pretty good, a little weird that Amy, who fills up my world when here, is gone again. Just me and the cats.

Today I’m grateful for:

A customer at Utopia who I’ve seen there before greeted me this morning. I returned the greeting and will try to chat more with him in future.

The best thing about today was:

Getting a bit of motivation back, though it took until it got dark again for me to start actioning it. I cleared a few emails in backlog, picked up the guitar again and sorted out more of the neverending files of new music to enjoy.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I told Amy about our broken pipe perhaps in the hope that she knew who could fix it. She called to her parents and soon they were here and Dad was hacking away at the concrete around the pipe. I wasn’t sure how necessary that was or what he was trying to do, but I let him get on with it.

Amy’s dad is ok at fixing things but they are done with ease in mind rather than aesthetics. Much as I would do if I attempted to fix things and that’s why I usually prefer to pay someone to do it instead.

Dad gave up in the end and said he’d find a plumber and come back. I think it would’ve been better to have come to that decision before hacking away at stuff.

I’m grateful for his attempt and I didn’t really get involved. The plumber will come tomorrow and let’s hope it’s not just some guy who Dad knows can fix stuff better than him.

After they left I ate lunch and forgot all about it.

Something I learned today?

The name of the game being played in the Lahu village yesterday was Khosue (in Lahu) or Lukon (?) in Thai. I’m not sure I got the Thai word right as I only heard it spoken.

Can you save your time?

This is a weird question. Can I, do I, did I? I’m not sure what it’s getting at. Time is not something that can be saved. Does it mean, can you do something more quickly? Perhaps, probably. But to what end? I could get other people to do everything for me and revoke any reason to live!

I took this picture because in my effort this morning to do some gardening I snapped the pipe that the hose attaches to. The world is testing me.