A Lonely Chorus – 3rd September 2025

My bedroom, dusty and rank
with teenage anger,
Putting the world to rights
through a cracked speaker’s static;
a chorus of voices chanting
in my lonely imagination,
the army I lead
from a mattress on the floor.

A spinning refrain, played again
and again
“Here you stand, my judge and jury.”

A dead mouse, a decaying
spider plant, the only witnesses
to these carpet-muffled pleas.
We stood together,
a council of the defeated,
alienated.

Jaded even before the fight;
“In gods they trust to hide the sins
which they commit themselves.”


Sullen and restless
we’ll decompose
our withered leaves,
settle into the dirty corners
anonymous
not forgotten

“We’re legion.”

Written well after the fact for the GloProWriMo Day Sixteen prompt:
try writing a poem that imposes a particular song on a place. Describe the interaction between the place and the music using references to a plant and, if possible, incorporate a quotation – bonus points for using a piece of everyday, overheard language.

As an angsty teenager, awkwardly looking at the constant depravity of the world, I latched on to anthems that united me with others, even if only in bedrooms across Britain. One such song that resonated with me was Theatre of Hate’s Legion, which I had bought (saving mum’s lunch money) on a 7″. My old dodgy record player had a method of allowing repeat plays of the record on the turntable, and so it was that one day I played this song 59 times in a row. I’m not sure why I never got to 60. My dirty, dusty bedroom housed myself, a tragic spider plant and a mouse that soon suffocated among all the incense smoke used to cover up the smell of cigarette smoke. It was a typically pathetic teenager’s bedroom. But I was convinced I was not alone and I was convinced that I was right.

Your house is falling down (The Chiang Rai Alternative Hour #67 – Frightened and Scared) – 4th December 2020

This one is not a morning scribble but at night and I want to get some thoughts out before I try to meditate which I didn’t do for a few weeks and I can feel my head whirling, whirling.

Step out, step out! Nothing lasts forever. Step out, step out – demolition – look at it fall down.

Distraction. Music is a distraction and I love it. I love my room – my room from youth and now I return – here in my room. No window, ceiling or floor!

Music, music, music. People in and out. Relationships, people – why do I find it so difficult?

Never mind, I think I’m okay. I’m fine I don’t need to find excuses. Inside my head is okay – when I’m feeling okay – I don’t need anything or anyone – except my one true friend. I love Amy very deeply I’m a little scared if anything happens between us but I know I’ll be okay. Everything is always okay. The world spins. And all those cliches. But anyway – it’s not something I think about really – not something likely to happen as far as I know. Out, out, out, you fleeting thoughts – settle down and breathe deep.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to each of my students for the different ways they make me think. It’s a nice challenge to everything.

Imagine a world where children are not sexually harassed by their teachers…

Now listen…..

This week there’s music from The Nubs, The Sawtooth Grin, Jesus Lizard, Theatre of Hate, Spermicide, Gelbart, Abali, Esmectatons, Radio Myanmar, Big Black, Secret Chiefs 3, Miss Madeline, George Danquah, Karate and OMFO.

Incidentals taken from the Church of the Sub Genius Hour of Slack.
Listen right here or Podbean, Stitcher, Apple, Amazon…..all those cool places I guess.

https://www.facebook.com/The-Chiang-Rai-Alternative-Hour-107307097314670/ (the Facebook page got hijacked!)

Praise to men who have no king – 6th January 2020

Prudence – behaviour that is careful and avoids risks
Courage – the ability to control your fear in a dangerous or difficult situation
Justice – fairness in the way people are dealt with
Temperance – control of your own behaviour

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to have enough money in my hand and enough time in my schedule to be able to buy myself a coffee.

From commonplace book

Dreaming is the ability to see something that doesn’t exist yet.

Mel Robbins (?)

To-do list

  • Call Hayden and congratulate him on doing some fundraising. ✅
  • It’s Monday. Classes will be tough. You are mentally prepared! ✅
  • You will deal with any emotional challenges calmly. Do not speak until later. ½
  • Run after work.
  • Prepare files for Jochen. ✅

It’s Monday and the classes were tough! But I was prepared for the feelings of frustration. I dealt with it as best as I could and felt pretty good about all the classes by the end of the day.

I managed to talk with Hayden after a missed call earlier in the day and we chatted for a good half an hour. He seems quite enthused with ideas at the moment and seems to be on a better path to planning his future. I did congratulate him on his fundraising activities. He’s not just thinking about himself during these times of crisis in Australia and has found a good way to apply himself in the circumstances.

No real emotional challenges came my way today but I did catch myself complaining a couple of times. It feels like a very fine line between stating some facts about events and complaining about them. At least I’m catching myself – now I just need to catch myself before saying anything.

I have a bit of a chest cough today and time ran out for us to go running too. I had the will but was still a little exhausted from driving so much yesterday.

So I took the time to prepare mp3s for Jochen, uploaded and emailed. I think the final results could be quite fun. It will be fun to put together anyway.

My self-control was fully tested in my classes today and, although I did well, I can still do better.

Tomorrow will be a test as we have a meeting about something that we haven’t really been told about and are apparently supposed to be prepared for. It is quite a normal situation these days so that is something that I am OK with.

I’m expecting that this thing is supposed to be on a weekend though and already prepared for a discussion about attendance as I have already warned them that I will not work on weekends under any circumstances.

Then the cowboy turned the gun on himself as he sang – 4th October 2019

Cats don’t judge. A cat is just a cat.

My last day of school. How do I feel? A little sad and disappointed to leave my students behind but hopeful and positive for the next school. I can visualise myself in class, prepared. Happy.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to the students who made me goodbye cards. I could feel how much I had affected them and what a good influence I had been. They really touched my heart.

*End Of Year List 1983 – 31st December 1983

Singles of 83
Conflict – To A Nation Of Animal Lovers
Conflict – The Serenade Is Dead

All-Time Single
Theatre of Hate – Legion/Original Sin

LPs of 83
MDC – Millions of Dead Cops
VA – Son of Oi!
Kraut – An Adjustment To Society
Black Flag – Everything Went Black
VA – Rat Music For Rat People

All-Time LP
Black Flag – Damaged

Tracks of 83
MDC – American Achievements
Newtown Neurotics/Attila – Mindless Violence/Andy’s A Corporatist
Red Alert – Industrial Slide
Social Distortion – Moral Threat
Conflict – Berkshire Cunt

All-Time Track
Theatre of Hate – Legion

Gigs of 83
Subhumans/Self Abuse/Parasites – 11th June
Endangered Species/Paradox – 12th June
Butcher/Confessions of Sin/Admass/Shock To The System/Self Abuse – 18th June
Cult Maniax/Screaming Dead/Butcher/Self Abuse – 26th Nov