Tag: Thirst

Rob writes – 1st March 1995

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Hey, more writing space! 

I went round Jon and Selina’s a few days ago to pick up the PA that Jon used for Thirst! They’re moving to a house just behind the Jackpot cafe, where Selina works in Portswood. I think it’s next week actually. 

Basically, Dave’s been a bit of a jerk sometimes (well, only when he gets drunk to be honest) – especially with bands staying at their place. There’s been occasions which I won’t bother to go into, where Selina’s been fuming and then so pissed off with everything, and Rich said he’s not going over there again until Dave leaves and sorts himself out. 

He just gets lonely sometimes I guess, and frustrated – well, he did throw a bottle at me down the Crown and Sceptre last week – I just stormed off….

Well, that’s all the scandal for now – apart from Selina having her hair cut shoulder length.
See ya
Rob

30th Jan 2024 – Dave was always ok when I met him but seemed to be a sad, bad drunk. Sadly he didn’t manage to sort himself out and I believe he committed suicide sometime in the next couple of years.

If ugliness is all you see you can just tear out your eyes – 16th August 1994

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Five days is often too long a period of time to recall some events and with the blur of the weekend that passed, anything beyond is lost without a struggle, ‘cept I remember Broni had the Friday off work and we went into town. I remember the bookshop and that’s it! Lettuce and coriander also trigger those memory cells. Aha – recall we got stoned in the evening and a bottle of sparkling wine! Needless to say, we fell asleep after that!

On Saturday we found ourselves back in Southampton with the intention of sorting through poems with Rob but we got diverted by music and cooking for the bands playing tonight’s gig. Time flies by with some way cool conversation concerning certain columns for the next S.T.E. gig bulletin (and Rob’s cool one for the current bulletin).

Me and Broni go via Selinas to drop off our gear then give her a lift to the gig. Lots of people, lots of noise, standard gig by the S.T.E. standards, unfortunately, no bands really shine out except maybe Thirst who now sound much fuller with Phil moving over to second guitar and Crispin coming in on bass. More practice and confidence and they’ll be cool for sure.

Sooner or later (and me much drunker) we head back to Selina’s with support band Travis Cut in tow and things start to liven up and develop into a mini raging party with various people dancing round the dining room table to Rocket from the Crypt. The last time I see a clock, it’s about 2am, I’m sure I crawl up onto a bed in the middle of a conversation and curl into the fetal position only five minutes later but find out next day it was nearer 4 o’clock.

Awake at nine we find Rob crashed at the top of the stairs, no blanket, no nothing – mad boy! Rich at the bottom of the stairs claiming victory over sleep with a 6 o’clock touchdown after chatting to Selena through the last couple of hours. Johnny on the floor, who I take pity on by farting in his sleeping bag, much to Rich’s amusement and poor Johnny got relegated to the floor cause I wussed out on his bed, Broni joining me soon after apparently – I was out for the count!

Time doesn’t stand still for us anyway and before you can say Canned Heat we’re on the road again, this time too Welham Green, a tiny pretty village near St Albans, to meet another of Broni’s cousins, Purdy, her boyfriend, the strong silent softy Duncan, along with Piers and Isobel. We are zombied to some extent and the day takes on a very relaxing shape with a salad and quiche in the quiet garden while next door’s racing pigeons practice circle manoeuvers overhead and little ones running around keeping us entertained.

And here we got our first wedding gift – a beautiful blown glass bowl that we can only guess the expense of – amazing subtle colours that sparkle in the sunlight. And then, after Piers and Isobel depart, we walk off our lunch across fields, woods and streams, sun glorious in its life-bringing, the fields open up and reveal the earth and its true freedom (imprisoned and abused by man for most of us). Life couldn’t be simpler and lost I was in the beauty of it all.

And now as I write and in my dreams last night, one phrase repeats round and round my head, “If ugliness is all you see you can just tear out your eyes” (Flag of Democracy).

We get home after a 2 1/2 hour drive and slip-slide in the warm soothing waters of our bath before dozing off into dreamworld. Our minds reliving each second of each day to try and catch a memory and keep it and hold it forever (save writing it down), lost in the blur mostly. Write your book of dreams, friends.

The innocents can all sleep safely – 18th July 1994

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That day sure was young and nothing would have prepared us for the events of the evening. Here goes. As Broni and I sat eating our tea in the garden in the beautiful evening sun, Julie (evil soul) turned up and proudly announced she been to a solicitor and had got the letter stopping John and I from ‘harassing’ her and not allowing us to kick her out within two days. She said she’d go as soon as possible and well, I didn’t really care so long as she was on her way.

Then, pow! She said she’d spoken to Tony, our agent, and he said the owners wanted to put the house on the market so the tenancy wasn’t going to be renewed. This meant we had until the first of August to get out. Well I wasn’t impressed, just another of her lies (though I didn’t think she’d go that far – which was worrying, maybe there was some truth in it!?). Well, we just walked away and the phone rang and it was Tony, who was confirming that this was true. Wow! What a fucking bombshell!

He said the owners had heard about all the trouble and decided not to renew the tenancy. He was saying it was all down to Julie, according to him, and, of course, she was happy as hell. I was fucking furious that we should have to carry the can for her actions but Broni managed to calm me down and at the end of the day we figured it may work out quite well for us. We get everything packed and ready to send to Oz, move to Kerry’s while she’s away in Japan (for all of August) and basically have a good time for the last eight weeks here. A catalystic turnaround. Sure, our wonderful home won’t be there for our comfort but we’d have to leave sometime anyway.

Michelle was a bit upset too and had a few other ideas that maybe we weren’t getting the whole truth out of Tony and our minds were working overtime. John didn’t get back till about 11 and we shellshocked him with the news. We thought about our rights and all that stuff but me and Broni decided we’d go anyway – we had nothing to gain from contest ing the decision.

Friday, I was kind of shellshocked about the huge turnaround and thankfully Julie was out most of the day. She did come back in the evening though and so did the police! To see her! I tried to find out from the cop what it was about but he wouldn’t tell me, I did overhear her saying, “I’ve got the receipt” and him saying “Make a statement at the station as soon as you can.” Not till I mentioned this to Broni and she said it maybe about the video Tony took from her (which she had offered up to him against rent payment). Fucking hell – it all happens doesn’t it?

While all this was going on, Rob came down in the afternoon and we had a great time going through our poetry. By the time Broni was back home, we decided we needed Indian food and beer! An excellent meal in the evening provided us with pleasant relief from our mini stress out! Picking up a couple of bottles of wine, we got drunk watching our home movies and John Otway and passed out soon after.

In the morning we headed out, the three of us, across the lovely English countryside fields, red with poppies or blue with other flora, up to Salisbury to check on our wedding rings! I wanted a bit more done to mine but Broni was happy with hers – it being different to how we imagined, now a two piece affair – like an engagement ring that fits perfectly into the wedding band and when put together looks just like one ring.

We took Rob around the town which was very enjoyable in the hot noonday sun. I must tell you this boyish joke occurrence that happened to us totally by accident. We checked out Pizza Hut for some food and were being served by a pretty, friendly girl. I jokingly introduced her to Rob saying “By the way, this is Rob – listen to what he says ‘cos Rob is God”. ‘Rob is God’ was spray-painted by Steve on his amplifier and is a cool insert picture on the Thirst 7″ single). Rob, laterally (and literally) thinking, blurted out “It says so on my 7 inch!” We all burst out laughing and I apologetically tried to explain he’d got a record out! She was cool about it too.

Checked out the cathedral and sweet shop, getting some Jelly Bellies that came in such weird and wonderful colours and flavours such as buttered popcorn, cream soda, watermelon etc. Yum!

STE Bulletin – 2nd July 1994

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Shaun’s Show

The last 2 S.T.E. gigs at the Joiners have really impressed me and I don’t just mean band/music-wise. Being a long-time friend of the S.T.E. Collective, I feel reasonably comfortable at the gigs and the Joiners where most have been in the last 4 years and I guess I know pretty well what to expect.

Over the time, one gig sticks out as being particularly good and that was seeing Green Day play around the time of Rich’s birthday. Green Day, as you probably well know, are good fun blokes and raised many a moshing smile that night, dragging Rich on-stage for a rendition of ‘Happy Birthday’ amongst other mad moments.

I got to meet and talk to Larry Livermore which was way cool and everyone there was smiling and talking to each other and having fun. There was a sense of achievement and a spirit of one-ness (Rob thinks he’s got the monopoly on taking hippy shit!). Fuck, you know what I mean, don’t you?

Anyway, I got that feeling again last week, while seeing Thirst/The Harries/Rhythm Collision. I was stuck most of the night behind the record stall but it gave me a great vantage point to look and watch everyone and get a good feel of the atmosphere. It was good to see many happy faces and excellent to see new ones (and Rocket From The Crypt t-shirts!) and girls too seem to be coming forward more and more into the gigs, which is great. Gigs can still seem intimidating sometimes.

Thirst played a good set, getting better all the time and always getting a reaction one way or another from the crowd! Both The Harries and Rhythm Collision play music that’s not really to my taste (I don’t like Green Day much either) but it’s got that foot-tapping happy tone to it, that makes you feel good inside. 

Many people hung around afterwards and chatted to the bands and with friends and as I was talking to Rhythm Collision’s guitarist, it suddenly struck me that what’s going on here is bigger than all of us (though made up by us).

There I was talking to a complete stranger about my forthcoming trip to Oz and finding out we both have a mutual friend there. I’ve heard it said that hardcore is the second biggest underground organisation in the world (next to the Mafia!). Who knows if that’s true but it seemed cool to me that I have friends all around the world, who I’ve never spoken to, written to or even met yet. The main thing that draws us together being music (and sometimes politics).

The second gig – Thirst/Zimmer Frames/Bedlam Hour – proved even more so, the trust and respect that us punks give and take from each other. Bedlam Hour toured without any equipment (relying on being able to use other bands’ when they got to the gig) and organised their whole European tour themselves from names and addresses in ‘Book Your Own Fuckin’ Life’ magazine.

Here they were in Southampton, thousands of miles from home, welcomed into our friendly atmosphere. They were the most friendly, admirable people you could ever wish to meet.

The one thing that got the crowd going being a magnificent rendition of Minor Threat’s ‘In My Eyes’ sung by Queer Rob. From then on, everyone was convinced. I saw guys at the bar looking on, thinking ‘Who the hell is this band?’, who were now jumping up and down and sideways, with their pals.

Girls not sure about the huge bulldozer bass player with udders were now laughing along at the absurd fun everyone was having.

Note should be made of Queer Rob’s Art Deco dancing (too much Big Breakfast methinks!) to Thirst and The Zimmer Frames great sets.

These gigs were certainly events to be proud of and now let’s look forward to the next gig and all those to come in the future. Sharing our music, our friendship, proud in the knowledge we are part of something bigger and that we are making a difference.

On the way home through the ruins I wave to the ghosts far beyond – 15th June 1994

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Romantic summer days are here, away from the rush and push of offices and ungentlemen.

Here today, I am sat in my favourite long wide valley, next to a muddy old excuse for a duckpond. A scattering of houses, barns and farms make up this community that probably hasn’t changed in 100 years. Only thing new here is tarmac and pylons –something we are now anaesthetised to. These are the places of fairytales, fables and folklore. The old crooked fence, the run down barn, birds a-chattering and flapping by. And people – where are they? Lazily making their way to the cows, I bet.

From one reality to another, with a brief sentence respite (this one).

Last night, me and my love dressed up in our rags for another punky party at the Joiners, where we videoed Thirst, The Harries and Broken Toys. I was feeling very unsocial after hurting my back carrying records to and fro and found myself with not much to say to anyone. Did I get my period again so soon? I wonder what it is that brings about this emotional unbalance in me.

And now today – I feel okay! Every morning I wake up bright and chirpy but by afternoon I’m a different difficult kettle of coconuts.

Another visit to the chiropractor today. Fun in the fundus. Go forth amongst men and be civil.

They said our youth was dead, how could they know? – 25th May 1994

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Fucking fuck – five days fly fast through time and motion I can’t keep up and I have no idea where I am in this world right now! Jeez, and found myself jumping at the Joiners again last night (slightly sad because Broni-less and work fed up-ness but such good contrast to go from shit at work to fun with friends).

Anyway coolness abounded again tonight with Thirst, The Zimmer Frames and Bedlam Hour playing cool songs to cool crowd with some madcap dancing and smiles aplenty. Wished I was in better mood because I couldn’t really communicate much ‘cept a bit to Rob. Tried striking up a convo with some dude I saw last week and this time bought a Blake Babies LP off me and, fuck, I couldn’t believe, it I started talking to him and then just finished up. Will take more time to talk to him next time for sure.

Been thinking about that all day, with the million other things flying around my tiny mind – can you tell from these erratic sentences, jumbled along, to some sense.

The weekend was cool, playing tennis and watching movies (Wendy Cracked A Walnut, Naked Gun 33 1/3, and Sea of Love). Get this – booking our tickets for September 27th – £530 each – polishing off two bottles of champagne Sunday night and jumping all over to Cardiacs and – get this second time – buying a camcorder! Been on our minds sometime now.

You know, I can’t remember what I wrote last week but can remember two months ago. Blistering blurred blind vision head down head-up hammering steam train 100mph no holds barred head fuck. Goddamn my baby Broni must love me some to put up with this shit. Dudes, take care.

Also:

26th May 1994 : Quick note at the end of the day. Still mad million thoughts but more cohesive and more productive. Whew!

28th May 1994 : Just a brief mention for feedback and delay. Things start to take on more significance as time passes by, f’instance, take 25th of May entry re Bedlam Hour’s fine gig – now seems to hold much more value for me than it did at the time (note how fed up I sounded) and the same with Trumans Water Newport effort – gawd such a mad rush to get there and make sure we had a good time for our troubles it’s not until later you get to realise what kind of impact it has on you.

Times travelling faster than me this month/section of lifetime and maybe it’s not till I settle somewhere more permanently that I’ll be able to reflect on what exactly it all means. Delay and feedback. Current reflections echo love and energy.

Scrape the cake from faces ’til they’re raw and bloodied
Use their gristled blood to grease our tracks
Take their speaking money for an understudy
Stick a bony finger down their gullets ’til they vomit up the past

– Trumans Water

It’s going to be a fine night tonight, it’s going to be a fine day tomorrow – look at the sky – 19th May 1994

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Yum yum yum – life’s here for eating up. Not that I’d lost any faith in people but had I done so it would’ve been restored by last night’s events. Well, start at the beginning somewhere.

Last night was another trip up to the Joiners and this time we took John and Sarah and some records to sell. John was in particularly enthusiastic mood – jeez, that guy is enthusiastic about everything! Well, I was in a bouncing mood tonight that’s for sure and found it difficult to stand behind my records for long periods so hell, I didn’t.

The atmosphere reminded me of Green Day’s gig there a couple of years back. Everyone was happy and everything was cool. The Thirst single was here for sale too – great job Tony has done and a fine tribute to Steve. Chrissy was in cheerful mood too along with Selena etc and me in charge of photo opportunity (dropping it while pissing!).

Thirst played a great set and are coming on really well and I gave them not too much stick! Wow! There was lots of pissed French punks here too – where did they come from!? (France! – ha!) The Harries played of set of Ramones style riffing – fun but unexciting. Everyone was happy though – it was that kinds bouncy music. Much chat and record sales (!) later, Rhythm Collision played a reasonable set of hardcore tunes, the guitarist later buying a Lemonheads LP from me and then us having a way cool conversation, me telling him about Broni and our love affair and plans for Oz. He knows Greg from Spiral Objective in Adelaide too which was cool coincidence. This dude was way cool anyway which is what I’m trying to relate, ok.

Eventually we got away and home at 1.15am and all today I feel proud to be a part of such good, honest fun things that friends across continents can organise for each other and it really feels like one big family with all sorts of diverse influences and anything goes and respect comes first. Today I love life and remember where I am in this world.

We’ve said things you wouldn’t believe – 21st March 1994

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Back to handwriting again for a while – just to see how things go!  Well, lots has occurred once again in the last ten days and too much for me to describe in detail but briefly.

Me and Bronwyn babysat for Chrissy while she went skiing (practising for her trip to America).  I went back to work, though just driving for now and I’ve been continuing with physio.

We’ve had a few frank discussions this week as we’ve both been a bit pissed off with each other at times though I’m confident now that we can sort them out.

We went to see Schindler’s List with Kerry.  What a brutal movie that is.  Went after to a beautiful Thai restaurant.

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Yesterday we went to Southampton and recorded the poem ‘Friend’ for Thirst’s 7″.

I’m here now writing this and chasing monster fleas around the room.  They are huge!  More details as they happen.

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Tony Suspect – STE Bulletin – 5th January 1994

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SUSPECT THOUGHTS WITH TONY

How do you react to the loss of a friend? On the evening of December 28th, I got a phone call, it was Rob. Of course, as I recognised his voice, I gave him a cheery “Hello” + expected to be told when our next practice was. As if reading my thoughts, his next words were “We won’t be practising for a few weeks”, there was a pause before the hammer blow “Steve’s dead”. I was stunned, I just couldn’t believe it. Rob was understandably, in a bit of a state + after giving me all the details he had, he rang off. I just sat there in a daze, there were no tears, no overwhelming sense of grief, nothing, except that I couldn’t get Steve out of my thoughts. For the next few days, I would suddenly find that I had been sitting just staring into space thinking of Chrissy, Amanda + Rebecca, the band + then back to Steve again. It was like I was numb. I still couldn’t accept that I wouldn’t be seeing him again.

I had known Steve for years but not all that well. I’d see him at gigs, we might say “Hi” to each other but that was it. Then we started THIRST together (with Shaun + Shane) + as the band progressed + we got to know each other better, I’m pleased to say we became quite good friends. He would often say that, above all else, the band were all good friends + that’s what kept us together when we’d have bad practices + couldn’t find a compromise. We stuck at it + things got: better + because we all got on so well, being in THIRST became cool.

Our first: demo may not be perfect but the time we spent recording + mixing it was fun, we were having a good time + achieving something with our band, it’s a happy memory I will keep forever. Like me, he was a football nut + we were talking about playing for the same team, something 1 was really looking forward to.

Steve was really into THIRST, so Jon, Rob + I have decided to keep the band going, keeping the name + recruiting someone who knew Steve + who Steve liked. Rob will move over to guitar + we have Phil of CHICKEN-BONE CHOKED, coming in to play bass. I’m not sure how permanent this will be as obviously Phil has his priorities with CBC but we hope to record a single as a tribute to Steve, featuring a couple of tracks he played on, plus some new stuff.

So, how did I react? Just shock I suppose, I still find it hard to come to terms with, it’s just so sad to lose someone you liked + respected. Writing this, along with reading the obituaries, was the hardest thing I’ve had to do since he died, it’s kind of brought it all home to me but (as l write) the funeral is still to come + that will be worse.

Now our thoughts must be with Chrissy + the kids + in that we will always remember Steve. He was one of the nicest. people I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing. I may not have known him well for as long as a lot of others but I value the time we spent as friends. Steve, I will never forget you.

Paul Jay – STE Bulletin – 4th January 1994

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LIFE BEGINS AT 30 WITH PAUL…

As you’ve probably already realised, this bulletin is dedicated to the memory of Steve Burgess, who sadly passed away on December 28th 1993. For those of you who weren’t fortunate enough to know him, he was one of the nicest people you could ever wish to meet.

From a personal level, I first met. Steve about 8 or 9 years ago, when he came to see SUICIDE PACT + then NOX MORTIS + from then on he was a regular at our gigs, always being a friendly + jovial character.

I remember the times a group of us used to go to London for gigs (from memory it seemed as though it was every other week), having to wait for the 2.45am train to Southampton on Waterloo station, completely fucked + pissed off we’d missed the midnight train, still in a weird way it was a laugh.

Steve was a person who (from what I understood + witnessed) totally devoted himself to his wife Chrissy + 2 kids (Amanda + Rebecca), whom he loved + adored, his football which I know he played several times a week + music which he was involved with + through which I got to know him. I remember seeing the bands he played in (CORPORATE GRAVE, ALL THE GLORY + THIRST) on many occasions, admittedly in a drunken haze, + lastly he was always there for his friends, a person you could talk to, he was always there to listen to problems.

He will sorely be missed by family and friends alike. R.I.P.

Lastly, there will be a collection + a raffle at the FABRIC gig at the Joiners on Saturday, January 15th + there will also be a number of benefit gigs organised in memory of Steve, with all proceeds from the gigs, going to Wessex Heart Foundation, so please give generously, as this will be greatly appreciated by those he left behind.

Cheers for taking the time to read this!!