Tag: Utopia

Get Used To It – 11th September 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Get used to it, it’s not going to change
Settle on down til it’s no longer strange
Culture shock, not worth fighting against
It’s upsetting but not worth taking offence
Getting used to it, going along for the ride
Hiding in the open is the best place to hide
Running away or kicking against the pricks
Means never teaching this old dog new tricks

Suffering has been stronger than all other teaching, and has taught me to understand what your heart used to be. I have been bent and broken, but – I hope – into a better shape.

Charles Dickens, Great Expectations

Today I’m grateful for:
Receiving some comfortable new sandals that at least attempt to give me some arch support.
The best thing about today was:
Walking home from Utopia in the light drizzle. It was just the right rain not to get too wet and to keep the temperature down. The air felt supremely fresh and reinvigorating. I really enjoyed the walk.

I took this picture because the clouds amongst the mountains looked amazing and reminded me of windswept moors of England.

What’s Missing? – 7th September 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 1 Comment

You’re only seeing the red pill
Or maybe just the green
Oblivious to the fact
The green pill left unseen

When the choice is one or two
Always search for three
Sometimes you’ll find four or five
If you look long enough to see

16th Nov 2024 – Shared with the Word of the Day Challenge – missing

Now is no time to think of what you do not have.

Ernest Hemingway

Today I’m grateful for:
The chef in the kitchen in the shop next door to Utopia, who remembered that I wanted food without meat and made delicious fried rice with chilli that had me sweating so hard I needed a shower when I got home.
The best thing about today was:
Having fun with all the kids who were cooking as part of their scout week. They were very playful and happy.

I took this picture because this unfinished building always fascinates me. I guess it was going to be a hotel. It is located next to the river and is an easy drive into town. I fanaticise about turning it into a punk house for world travellers and having shows there.

Outside – 28th August 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 1 Comment

I don’t want to go outside
The rain spits knives at my blinking eyes
Don’t want to be outside
Angry ghosts stare at me in surprise
I don’t want to see outside
Evil awaits with sharpened knives
Don’t take me to the outside
Amongst the dead and zombied lives
I don’t want to go outside
The flashing neon against dull grey skies
Don’t want to be outside
To smell the carcass covered in flies
I don’t want to see outside
The monsters can’t get me in my bed
Don’t take me to the outside
Where the rats of paranoia invade my head

The day a child realises all adults are imperfect, he becomes and adolescent; the day he forgives them, he becomes an adult; and the day he forgives himself, he becomes wise.

Alden Nowlan, Selected Poems

Today I’m grateful for:
Pushing myself to walk to Utopia in the morning and recognising the extra energy that gave me throughout the day. I got a lot done.
The best thing about today was:
Reading more Gormenghast. I’m loving the language and imagery and being introduced to all these weird and quirky characters. I’m enjoying it more than the first book in the series so far. There were lots of other good things today too mostly because I was in a good mood because of my morning walk and the sun being out again.

I took this picture because this was the view of the sunrise on my first early morning walk. It was also nice to view the world around me from different perspectives.

Atrox, Disciples of the Elder, (A poet), Other Side Of The Fence – Cornwall Hotel, Dorchester, Dorset, UK – 15th March 1985

Personal Hells – 5th April 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Eyes agog at AMOLED screens of trusting fakes
Ears alert to every chime, bell and whistle
*They spit weird dilatory rants and pithy takes
Or burp up half-digested chunks of newsfeed gristle*

*from That Guy From The Internet’s ‘This is a newsletter’ newsletter. Love these two phrases.

Reason must lead the way no matter what good fortune comes along.

Ryan Holiday, Daily Stoic

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful that I have managed to survive the last eight days on very little money and especially to Art for allowing me to have daily coffee on credit!

Greene On Keats – 25th March 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

This constant need for certainty
Is the greatest disease you may face
Creative power comes from negative capability
Mysteries are to endure and even embrace

Paraphrased, but almost word for word, Robert Greene talking about Keats.

The need for certainty is the greatest disease the mind faces.

Robert Greene

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for Art to go book shopping in Chiang Mai for me and get me five music-related books. I’ll keep them at Utopia.

I Am Nobody – 8th January 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Nobody, no one, stuck outside
Looking in, is not interesting
On the margin, in dark edges
Don’t force steps into the light
Nobody, no one, give no invite
Denied the dull-somebody life
Living in the corners and alleys
Where stories are made of air

You might have achieved what you wanted, but are you sure you learned the lesson?

Slash

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to have coffee options around me. Art has closed Utopia for the weekend to go camping and I went to Black Smooth and had a nice coffee there and read some more. I feel good.

Heavy Lies – 6th November 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Seeking connections far outside of town
Wanting a verb but always finding a noun
A big nose, a smile upside down
Heavy lies the head that wears the clown

Trying to float yet about to drown
These waters swam are turning brown
This king is in a state of constant frown
Heavy lies the head that wears the crown

Inspired by a misspelling on an online post

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to be able to sit in my hammock this morning and finish reading the Rolling Stones biography. It’s a nice and cool temperature as Tangmo and Kim Chi chased each other and sniffed around. Days are good.

Dragged myself up out of bed this morning as I was up later than usual last night, reading, trying to finish Cosey Fanny Tutti’s Art Sex Music – almost made it.

Utopia is closed at the moment due to one of the staff members catching Covid. It seems the main outbreak around here was from a Halloween event at a place called Retro Bar. Not sure where that is, somewhere on the university side of the highway.

Although we didn’t know it at the time, Aing was there too and I’d been trying to arrange meeting her as she was only here for three days. One evening, she messaged us that she was at Hope Bar, two houses away from us, but Amy and I were already in bed, old folks that we are these days. It was 9pm. So, as it turned out, it was good that we didn’t get a chance to meet this time.

So, with Utopia being closed, I had to do without my regular morning coffees and chose to read the Rolling Stones bio in my hammock, buffeted by a cool, almost cold, breeze and I did that for an hour or so until finishing the book. Hooray. The Slash bio next, as I continue on with the rock bio books on weekends.

Despite running around shopping, dropping off cakes and picking up coffees in the city, the day feels relaxed and stress-free despite all the potential for anxieties. My attitude is good, my head is in a good space and I’m chilling to new music and staring in wonder at my bookshelves, contemplating what to read next.

Mother Of All – 28th September 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

George is getting excited now
He really seems quite upset
His words are getting shorter
The angrier he will get

The world has pissed him off
And quite rightly so
The lying liars are lying again
It’s really time for them to go

The sweat is across his brow
His hat looks about to fly
The answer to every question
Is always, ‘why?’ ‘why?’ ‘why?’

An angry man shouts at clouds
Morning, noon and night
The thing is that what he’s saying
Seems to be quite right

Reading Al Franken’s ‘The Truth With Jokes’ and watching George Galloway’s ‘Mother of All Talk Shows’ recently. It’s easy to get worked up.
11th May 2024 – Submitted to Ragtag Daily Prompt – mother.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to watch a misty sunrise this morning as I prepare for an easy day at school.

The days and nights are full, they go too quick. Even if they are full of nothing particularly special, the time just disappears. But I’m filled with happiness.

My student Aomsin is interested to be an exchange student so I thought I’d help out with some investigation. I can’t imagine that her family is that rich and I also haven’t been able to find any pricing. I’m just not sure how feasible it might be for her.

Considering whether perhaps Sharon might be able to house her but then don’t know how she might apply for local schools there. I guess I can ask at least.

I’d love to get every willing student overseas to see something of the world. It should be compulsory! In my Utopian world, anyway!

Maybe my enquiries will crush her dreams. That would make me sad.

Time for my one class of the day.

Sleeping Garden – 15th August 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 1 Comment

*Why do we sleepwalk and tread all over our hearts?
Do you feel as if you’ve come out of the soil yet?
Step into the light, it’s time to play all our parts
Reach for the sun, let’s see how dirty we can get.

*First two lines (and ideas) stolen from Glenn Dakin’s ‘Abe – Wrong for All the Right Reasons’
26th Jun 2024 – Submitted to Weekly Prompts Wednesday Challenge

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to Didi this morning as she let me try some of her lemon cheesecake that she made for Art at Utopia. Also to Gang – who shared info about his tattoos and his plans. They are both nice people.

Circles – 31st July 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Wound tight and stomach knotted
Endless thoughts, head is reeling
Darker schemes are being plotted
No single road seems appealing

A roundabout, eyes are blurring
Sleep offers no more respite
Each waking moment reoccuring
A falling dream from a great height

A catch-22, a spinning top
Dante’s rings, ever decreasing
A perpetuum mobile, never stop
Piled on top and never ceasing

8th August 2021 – I stuck this poem into an AI story generator and it came back with this:

A cloud of gas, an oil well, and then one day, well no, I’m not going to say it again I can’
I can’t wait to share some music with you guys. I’m still working on it, – the best soundtrack I’ve ever heard. That’s it, folks, that’s the end of this sentence, no? Okay, here’s a short one: I think I might have died. Maybe. When I did, my body was on . … I guess that is a word. – no. Okay. You know what? That is it for this one; I’ll give you a minute. Sorry. How many minutes, anyway? I don’t know, maybe two. What was the last song that you listened to ?
… You might notice that in all this time no one has been to my room. No one’s been in my bed. So far, the only person I have had to talk to is you. Sorry, sorry, this is going a bit fast, okay?

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful that Utopia is ok to give me credit until next week as I haven’t been paid yet. It’s a very slightly guilty coffee.

Here’s the weekend again. Grabbed coffee, read about the Beatles, filled my bike tyres and got 20 baht of petrol because that’s all the cash I had. Came home and Amy had washed the car and asked me to wash the bike, which I did as Tangmo watched on.

After I had finished and come inside I heard Amy scream that Tangmo had got through the screen door and was walking around in Kim’s room. When I came out Kim didn’t seem much to care and I got Tangmo out and fixed the door.

After a shower, I went back in to see Kim and to make Tangmo watch that he has to accept Kim and that we can be with her without him barking and pushing at the door. Tangmo wasn’t ready for this lesson though and pushed the doors again and barked more. Kim got angry this time and scratched me and attacked him. Eventually, I had to kick Tangmo in the head to get him out. He was very upset and ran off sulking! Kim is the priority though. And making sure the door doesn’t get fully broken. Tangmo will probably sneak back in quietly later. I’ll give him a pat then.

Now listening to the Beatles CDs I have, which still don’t really interest me musically. Still trying to finish off all my DVD burns; will get there eventually.

For what has been a fairly quiet morning I’ve done quite a lot. Not much of interest though. These are what days are I suppose.