I chuckled at the wiry youth Secreting products from the shelves Under his coat, down his pants “Don’t be too obvious!” I said And let him be on his way
All those hours sat a desk, The dreaded corporate cubicle, Surfing the net on big business dime Planning a future for myself Fuck ’em if they’re this inefficient
And so when the falling down stood up To burn the factory to the ground Fists were raised in a tragic solidarity We stuck it to the man, at least Until we had to go back to work
Some really good friends of mine They blew up a factory No one really knows how it happened And they are still running free And I think it’s funny…
…and leading to memories of a couple of my jobs.
The first stanza happened when I was working at a popular supermarket in Sydney. The job I enjoyed but I hated the manager so much that I just didn’t care about people stealing stuff.
The second stanza details my corporate years where ideas for improvement were always rejected because no one could be found to pay for them. This meant about five years of maintaining a functioning system and starting up a secondary business as a hobby while there. Fuck ’em!
The third stanza imagines the idea of sympathy for the guy in Falling Down losing his mind and blowing up his place of work, followed by the realisation that we still need to go to work the next day to get our proverbial dollar.
The future is behind me Invisible to the eye The past keeps coming Towards me until I die
Understanding is backwards Yet life is straight ahead In the end, it’s all done When it’s all been said
Today I’m feeling:
A little edgy due to lack of sleep. I kept waking up whilst having wild and unusual dreams. I forget their story but have kept the feeling as I woke. It’s a little disconcerting. Leg exercise and stomach stretching was good and easy. My shoulders are feeling a little better but not sure that they will be fully ok before next week when I’d like to get back to arm and shoulder exercises again.
Today I’m grateful for:
The teachers who helped me with some little things today, such as finding a stapler and staples in the mess of the teacher’s room and sending the student list so that I could print out the student names for my new class.
I’m also grateful to my past self for downloading lots of useful English workbooks in the past and finding something useful to use for my new class. I already have too many ideas and I haven’t even met them yet or know what their skill levels are. I’ll soon find out though – first class tomorrow.
The best thing about today was:
An interesting comment from Kru Karn when I expressed concern for one of my students that she looks after. She off-handedly said that most teachers don’t care that much about the students, implying that I do. I don’t know if she was congratulating or criticising but I took it as a matter of pride. As an average, untrained English teacher I make it a point to at least care about the students and the job that I’m employed to do.
A late update as I’ve just hopped into bed with delectable-smelling clean sheets and anticipating this, I used the expensive shower gel that smells like glitter and glamour. I’m soft and snug, smelling of champagne!
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
My grade 7 class was a little out of control, still in holiday mode. I have the feeling it will be like this until the end of the semester with this grade. I didn’t push them too hard today, just prepping them for the real work on Friday.
Something I learned today?
The Ancient Romans used to drop a piece of toast into their wine for good health, which is why we ‘raise a toast’.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
After my grade 10 students had completed their work for me I helped them with a speech that they had to do for another class later today. I recorded the speech myself so that they could copy my pronunciation and I sat with them as they practiced and gave them tips.
If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?
Somehow I wonder if I might relax a little knowing this.
Without knowing this, of course, I may die suddenly tomorrow. I should relax now!
Would I keep working? I enjoy what I’m doing right now but with a known time limit what else could I do in the meantime? Would travelling the world feel satisfactory or would it just feel meaningless? Do I even know how to enjoy myself anymore!
I think perhaps I would go travelling but on a nostalgia trip and also to catch up with old friends and have one last conversation.
I don’t think I would just fuck everything off and spend the time decadently. Maybe a little!
I took this picture because this weird little cactus at House appears to have the Christmas spirit.
Where did your confidence go? Now is the time that matters When the body began to grow Your self-belief just shatters
Open for manipulations And unable to see your abuse Dealing with the situations When you think that you’re no use
Ahead lies a trail of tears Never knowing where it’s going Unless you overcome these fears That are stopping you from growing
inspired by a struggling student whose name may translate to something like ‘blade’ or ‘propeller’
Today I’m feeling:
Tired and stuffed up. Last night I was getting a sore throat but that seems ok today. Now it seems to have moved into my head. I didn’t sleep well and when my alarm went off I sent a message to my students that I wouldn’t be at school and went back to an extra 3 hours of bad sleep. My body is aching from all the exercising I’ve been doing too, maybe pushing too hard (but the results in the mirror are inspiring). I’m grateful for a day off and time to go and check the dental clinic at the hospital.
Today I’m grateful for:
To meet the little pregnant cat at the shop next door to Utopia that was sitting quietly on the mat and either contemplating life or watching the traffic. It’s about 60% white but then the rest is a complete jumble of every other cat colour you ever saw. A quarter of her head looks like Tigger and elsewhere are small patches of Kim-ginger. What a family tree this kitty must have and due to soon add further to the sad abundance of cats looking for homes.
The best thing about today was:
Doing very little. The chocolate protein milk I drank was nice and, pulling out some weeds, being about as much exercise as I got today, felt satisfying. Nothing over the top as a stand-out highlight and despite being tired, dizzy and lazy, the day was enjoyable enough.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Last night before going to sleep I told myself that despite having a sore throat and feeling tired I would get up with my alarm and exercise and if I still felt bad I would go back to bed. In the back of my mind I knew that there was little chance of me getting up and doing this and that is indeed what happened. I don’t yet have the thought control to overcome the easy way out though also feel I should respect what my body is telling me. It is tired for a reason and not just laziness. Today I have already decided to go to school tomorrow and that means exercise in the morning. As my mind is already anticipating being at school this is more likely to happen.
Something I learned today?
It is Nong Fah’s birthday today. Happy 14th birthday to a smart kid. I only knew from her Facebook post wishing herself a happy birthday. Kids seem to do that a lot. They maybe don’t set their profile up with a birthday or with the correct date but then when it comes around they want people to know and to soak in some best wishes.
What work do I enjoy doing?
At one point or another, I’ve enjoyed all the different types of work I’ve done. The work isn’t usually an issue, it’s the systems, people and chasing of profit that make it difficult, uninspiring and frustrating.
In some ways, I’m jealous of those who have utilised their creativity to be able to work at things they love and be able to earn enough money (or be satisfied with their struggle) to survive. In other ways, I’ve been happy to keep the money-making separate from the things I love to do.
At this moment in time, there has been some convergence between the two as I’m very satisfied with the work I’m doing (teaching) and getting financially rewarded enough.
Quote: It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see. – Henry David Thoreau
I’ve looking at this quote for many days not being sure what to write but Fah’s birthday has provided me with the inspiration. You can see from the picture that she is a pretty girl but she is not a standout amongst the crowds in the school or even in her class. What attracts me to her is her personality, smarts and common sense. It’s not about maturity as such, as she still acts in common with most 13/14-year-olds. To look at her is one thing, what I see is another.
What I see when I look at my wife is our history of 15 years and everything that that means to me. The good times, the tough times, the fun and funny times. Travels, experiences, companionship, love.
When I look at attractive young ladies I’m only looking at a picture, I don’t ‘see’ anything beyond that. When I look at Amy I ‘see’ her completely. On the outside, we are no longer the handsome or beautiful people we met but have travelled together beyond the superficial. Whatever the future holds it won’t be spoiled by anything that could merely be considered a picture.
I took this picture of the birthday girl from one of her online videos. I’ll send it to her again in ten years’ time (if we are still in touch) and we can reminisce about the days we are having now. Students for life.
Pretty positive. Woke up with a start when my alarm went off. I was in the middle of a dream where I jumped into some icy water and got sucked into a cave and started drowning. But then I was watching myself counting whilst holding my breath to see if I had enough air to find my way out.
When I arrived at my first class the kids were early and busy doing work so I asked them why and they said they hadn’t done the work in the six-day break and had to finish before their next class. I asked them what it was about and it was something to do with a futuristic world. So I let them carry on and I prepared a related quiz for them for the second half of the class which they are competitively doing now. Easy work for me so far.
Today I’m grateful for:
Hearing that Hayden has landed himself a full-time job in Brisbane. I’m not sure how this will affect being able to see him whilst I’m there but I hope this might be a good starting point for him to find a routine that he can work out to his advantage.
The best thing about today was:
Enjoying being back at school even on my busiest day of classes. I had everything in order and things ran pretty smoothly.
I also advanced myself a little bit with my guitar practising, finally being able to stumble through some difficult tunes well enough to pass that section. I’ve been stuck at the same level for two years or more mainly because there’s a fingerpicking section that I’m not particularly interested in completing but I’ll give it a go again.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Nothing untoward out of my control today. Things that were out of my control were treated as such.
Something I learned today?
I had a little look at my old lessons on Google Slides today and can see that they should be relatively easy to convert to Quizizz for use next semester. Apart from being unable to control the students forgetting logins and passwords, I feel more confident using the system now and finding a good tool for tracking and ensuring work is done and revised again easily.
What do I need to let go of?
There is a certain person that I would like to get out of my thoughts. I need to let go of any resentment and bitterness that has been left. In fact, I don’t have those feelings much but somehow this person’s actions in the past come back to haunt me as validation that my attitude towards them is correct but what I would prefer is to just not care. I don’t have anything to prove so why do I keep comparing?
I took this picture because here is the top princess of the house, keeping a careful watch on his human staff.
The temperature is perfect at around 7 pm and I feel like going for a walk but there’s nowhere really to go. I could walk just for the sake of it but feel that my house is so comfortable it’s challenging to motivate myself by this time of day. I think about walking to Daytripper but I usually go there with my laptop to either work or write and I don’t want to carry a bag with me all that way.
First-world problems in a third-world country for this entitled white boy.
Today I’m grateful for:
My work situation that allows me so much free time that I sometimes struggle to fill it appropriately.
I got home before 10am and have been doing all sorts of little things from reading to cleaning to vacuuming and suddenly it is evening already and I wonder where the day has gone, and everything is ok.
If I wasn’t doing (what feels like) a whole load of nothing I’d have to be at school usually teaching or on days like these with no classes filling up time with useless activity.
I’m so lucky.
The best thing about today was:
Seeing lots of excited happy kids at school for the graduation ceremony. If they weren’t graduating they were preparing to present gifts to their friends and siblings.
It’s funny to see some of the ‘bad’ students celebrating in this kind of traditional ceremony and it reminded me that the kids have a cultural understanding of expectations which I will never have and which sometimes brings us to odds.
While pushing them with all sorts of possibilities for their futures they understand their realities which I can’t see.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Not much really. A car freshener I ordered online got refunded as it was out of stock and the computer repair shop called me and advised they couldn’t access the data on the old drive which is a minor inconvenience as about 99% of my files are backed up. Nothing too wayward today.
Something I learned today?
Despite wanting to watch less YouTube I found an interesting new channel from China by journalist Miao Xiaojuan.
The AFL season starts today and there will be 4 umpires on the field now and the bench will have one sub plus 4 to interchange. Swans play on Saturday and I will watch on Sunday.
What am I looking forward to?
I’m looking forward to going to Australia in October. It’s been five years since I left and I’ve been the happiest I’ve ever been. Australia is what made me though and I am very fond of it there. It will be good to catch up with Hayden and Jochen and to look around my old haunts to see how or if they have changed.
I took this picture because this climbing plant has suddenly found its wheels and trying to overgrow everywhere, reaching out to find new attachments. The remnants of last year’s growth are still stuck up in the tree tops, dead and decaying yet still stuck. I have to fight it back this year.Fatman report
A wife beater A woman hater A grinning smile A facade facile Every inch a man God his creator A good woman down A demonic clown A greasy spine A shiny veneer A bondaged mind Soon left behind A final punt A decade gone An unbecoming end Not even a friend
Today I’m feeling:
Tired yet satisfied
Today I’m grateful for:
Pure Bliss Kratom for getting back in touch with me so I can order from them again. I tried to order a couple of weeks ago but they had run out of packaging.
The best thing about today was:
Getting everything together for my work permit and giving it to Nancy. Not as difficult as doing my visa but still used to stress me out. Now it’s become more familiar and feels more comfortable. I was still glad to get this part done though. Next step is to take it to the department of employment and hand over money!
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Two students asked to skip my class today to practice more for sports day. Eventually I said yes but knew that other students would then assume it was ok not to come and sure enough that’s what happened – the usual suspects.
Again, it made for a quieter class so that was a benefit. I marked those students absent so they will have to figure out why their grades suck at the end of the semester.
Talking with David I can feel he is frustrated by the lack of discipline at the school, not just students but with teachers too. He’s not so comfortable with the lack of structure and I get the feeling he might quit soon.
I can definitely feel my attitude has changed since I started teaching and also feel I may not be able to teach anywhere else after this. I mean, I’d have to teach properly!
Something I learned today?
Southampton beat Manchester City 2-0 which was a surprise. That will please my old friends back in Southampton.
What are your two favourite places to be?
Home
Anywhere else It’s here or there. Do people have favourite places to be? I like to be in the place where I am. Maybe I could say this:
Inside the body of a lover.
Inside the mind of a lover. Or
Standing in front of a maelstrom of music that is blissing me out
Lost in the words of a meaningful story. I guess there have been certain places in the world that hold a special meaning but they are not particularly places I would go out of my way to go to again. Certain places that were special because of a romance can never be visited the same with a new romance. Maybe I could say
Secondhand book shops and libraries
Secondhand music stores Yeah, I think that works.
No special picture taken today. This is one of Rich and Steve at Steve’s wedding that Rich posted online in commemoration of Steve’s passing in late December. Baby faces, amazing to see again.
A rusty soul needs constant scrubbing Lifting hands up towards the sun Don’t turn around a-snubbing For a journey just begun Spread the word when required Now’s the time to teach Everyone needs to be inspired For the heights to which we reach
We are drowning in information, while starving for wisdom.
E.O. Wilson
Today I’m feeling: Dizzy and tired. Maybe getting the flu… Today I’m grateful for: Amy’s mum and dad for paying for my birthday lunch today. I was ravenous and enjoyed a bowl of nachos. Simple but effective. The best thing about today was: Contacting a local tattoo shop and planning some Cardiacs related tattoos. I’ve seen the work from the studio on Art and Boss at Utopia and it’s pretty good. If you can pick any job in the world, what would it be? I’d be interested in almost any job so long as there was no pressure. Imagine any job and being given a six-month training period with no expectations and imagine this was for any job. People could just keep trying what they wanted and be able to find the best thing for them at that time. I’d learn about plants and growing or be some kind of operator at CERN. Maybe a train driver, car dealer or painter. Any job where you can feel respected and worthwhile would be good.
I took this picture because this is the birthday cake Amy got made for me for today! It looks great and dad made a joke about cutting through the neck.
Savour the crumbs of the pie Scraps picked from the floor Be sure to breed and multiply The cogs must turn some more Money is power is oil is gold Not for some to touch And so the story has been told From parent to child as such Oil is power is money is gold Only for some to touch And so the lie has been sold There’s already too much So savour those crumbs of pie Get back to the factory floor Sons step in as fathers die And so remains the score
Leaving this will be easier than living it.
Charles Bukowski
Today I’m feeling: am: happy and relaxed – pm: tired and subdued Today I’m grateful for: My hair bleach to make me feel younger, at least when I look in the mirror. I’m still mixing up old congealed powder that I bought years ago and too thrifty to throw out. It’s not perfect but it still does the job. The best thing about today was: Crossing a few little bits and pieces off the to-do list. I have a few more that I have to remember for tomorrow too including picking up a cake for my birthday that Amy has arranged for me. Thank you my lovely little Amy. What jobs do you do in life that you don’t get paid for? Thinking in reverse, I do one job of teaching that I do get paid for and I don’t get paid for anything else so it comes down to what might be considered a job. I have a hobby promoting musicians and their music that does have minimal income but I don’t consider it as getting paid and loses more money than it gains. I don’t have any philanthropic jobs. I do work at things but none of them are jobs.
I took this picture because Kim Chi is enjoying sitting on the toilet mat and doesn’t move out of the way when I want to go. This is what I look down at!
She’s the one, happily jumping in the mud She’s got a little bit of crazy running through her blood One fifty on the highway, three up on their bikes She’s gonna live her life just the way she likes Into the wind, any speck of caution thrown Maybe she’ll be gone before she’s fully grown But she’s lived a life more complete than all of us Left the chains for freedom and didn’t make a fuss
The most important thing about art is to work. Nothing else matters except sitting down every day and trying.
Steven Pressfield
Today I’m feeling: Happy Today I’m grateful for: Finding a cheap power adapter after losing mine somewhere. I’d prefer the real thing but will make do with a less expensive one for now. The best thing about today was: Watching a video of my crazy student, Nong Aoi, diving into a huge puddle of water after a storm and to the delight of all her friends. I keep watching the video because it makes me laugh so much and it’s great to see her and her friends so happy
I took this picture because the cats had been scared of the storm and wanted to be close by to feel safe and to be ready when I get up to feed them.
1994ever 