“Everything that needs to be said has already been said. But, since no one was listening, everything must be said again.” – Andre Gide
The fried chicken stand roars each morning
Burning oil since the early dawning
You know it’s bad – ‘But it’s delicious’
There’s things inside so suspicious
Feel your organs, pumping, throbbing
As arteries are slowly clogging
The chicken man holds a scythe
Death comes along to claim his tithe
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful to have this little book to write my notes in. I prefer to write with pen and paper rather than using an app.
On a walk last week I picked some things to notice, one being electricity meters. In England and Australia these things are usually hidden away somewhere but here in Thailand they are usually visible somewhere out on the street where, although they can be easily tampered with, they can be easily read by the Electricity Board. They are not particularly noticeable though – unless you start looking for them. I found these ten quickly on a single walk.
The other thing that these pictures got me thinking about was Thai’s fascination and superstition about numbers. I haven’t heard anything specifically about numbers on these meters but lottery tickets and car number plates (as well as auspicious dates) are considered gossip worthy by many people here. When folks are told that their car number plates are not very lucky they may be guided by a fortune teller or particular monk to add another number to the plate, usually smaller than the numbers of the official plate. This goes along with a superstition about the colour of one’s car and if told they have an unlucky colour will add a sticker saying ‘This car is blue’ to improve their luck.
Thai’s (generalising) put way too much stock into these kinds of things, thinking that they have little or no control over their own lives. When they put little effort into improving themselves they can blame bad luck for their failures. Obviously I don’t think this is good, but am I right? I just tell myself I am.
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful to look back at some of the better poems I have written. I think I can find it easier to distil my thoughts and feelings into 4-20 lines of verse rather than writing a diary. Anyway, I’m glad to get back into the habit of writing poems.
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful for my favourite knives, forks and spoons over the years. Something about how they fit in your hands and mouth makes them emotionally comforting.
There were many good things today despite some minor frustrations – just with online teaching.
The rain really turned it on and brought the temperature down to a very agreeable level, so much so that I sat in the classroom even after my lessons finished.
I’m really enjoying the coffee I’m getting in the morning. I enjoyed chatting with Fui, reading and writing poems, and studying Thai.
The rain was torrential at times but not too cold, so I didn’t bother with an umbrella and just embraced the wet and ducked under cover whenever I could.
Even though I had plenty of free time today, I wished I could have more so that I could do some more drawing too. So long as I can spew out something artistic each day, then I’m pretty happy. At the moment, it’s poems.
As an extra challenge to writing, I thought it might be interesting to write a poem for each of these quotes that I highlighted in my copy of Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance. I don’t like to make things easy for myself.
If someone’s ungrateful and you tell him he’s ungrateful, okay, you’ve called him a name. You haven’t solved anything.
…that old feeling I’ve talked about before, a feeling that there’s something bigger involved than is apparent on the surface.
He travelled alone. Always. Even in the presence of others, he was completely alone. People sometimes felt this and felt rejected by it, and so did not like him, but their dislike was not important to him.
It’s frustrating to see how completely unaware he is at the time of the significance of what he is saying.
No one is fanatically shouting that the sun is going to rise tomorrow.
The effort of fathoming what is in another’s mind creates a distortion of what is seen.
We have to keep going until we find out what’s wrong or find out why we don’t know what’s wrong.
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful to receive a friendly warm welcome when I dropped by Bruno’s house yesterday. He is feeling very happy now that he is no longer working for TLC and is enthusiastically talking about plans for the future and particularly his garden, which I can tell has got him really upbeat.
I’m feeling rather pleased with myself today. I spent it all either reading, sketching, studying Thai, drinking coffee, driving and writing poetry – not bad for a day at work! Enjoy it while I can.
Damn, it’s cold in the morning. Have been sick, this is the first day back.
Amazing long sleep – feel good. Body weakened – need exercise, need discipline again.
G.I.on brainbox. Can’t stop reading – so good, so happy. Tattoo ideas formed.
Write 1994 and ideas coming – found more old writing. Is it important – no – is it interesting to me? Yes.
I’m running out – is there nothing to do except document my life? Should I be living a life still? What is it?
I love my home – my comfort here.
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful to have access to YouTube and to have an internet connection. Having internet means it is easy to live anywhere in the world. If I didn’t have it I could probably still manage but life would be a lot different – time would have a totally different meaning. The things I use the internet for are thought-provoking and thinking makes me alive.
Sore gums – why? Dentist again.
Week off morning routine – get back into it. Heavy breathing – work, tired body. Looking good – but not where I want to be yet. Turn fat into muscle. Little by little – as I taught the kids.
Sleep easy – alarm surprised. What dreams – I don’t know.
Today today today – easy day, so fill it. Get ready for Ellen’s students again. Have no desire to do it – so I will do it – push through. But do it well. I know the hardest step is just starting again – and I’m not afraid.
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful for my full free day yesterday. I enjoyed it so much. Running around the garden with Baimon, listening to Alice Donut whilst looking through old photos, writing in my journal, reading comics and playing Xbox. Lazy and fun day which has made me feel very happy.
I pulled myself out of bed and forced myself back into my morning routine, including 10 burpees, which I was contemplating skipping. I also had time to write morning pages though they still couldn’t quiet my brain during meditation. Maybe tomorrow I will switch back to sitting up to meditate.
The result of this effort was a day of weird happiness and joy that I couldn’t help feeling. So, the best thing that happened?
On several occasions when I was communicating with students I felt a better understanding despite difficulties in verbal communication – a more common bond – it made me feel good.
I did a sketch of House and will try to do some more. I read some Dostoevsky which was very meaningful and marked certain parts – something I’ve always forgotten to do before! I’ve bounced back from my cold – and now Amy has it instead.
I also did a quick video call with a new student that I will start teaching online tomorrow.
I am so happy and grateful for my nice pen and writing books. They encourage me to write down my thoughts.
The best thing that happened today was helping out in JJ’s classroom and helping Irene with her work. She’s a smart girl but will leave the school at the end of this semester to go to an engineering school because her family has a building business.
She told me she is the firstborn so she has to take over the business. I think that she is capable. It made me happy to help her and some others in that class.
I am so happy and grateful for Gilbert Hernandez and his story Human Diastrophism. Wow!
You can prove and disprove anything you like with words.
Anton Chekov, Love
12th Jan 2024 – This Checkov quote bears a similarity to the Chuck Palahniuk quote here.
Music from Senyawa, Jamesy and Sean, Far East Family Band, Air Miami, Arcwelder, Flesh Narc, X_X, Deerhoof, Hidden Rifles, The Damned, Chepang, Lindsay Cooper, Tigermen, Fifty Foot Hose, Joe Strummer and the Mescaleros, F, Younger Brothers, Shadow Minstrels, Cypress Hill and Eddie and the Hot Rods.
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful for my computer. It enables me to do so many things. I wonder if I could live without it? Of course, I could but I don’t think I want to.
To-do list
Today is Tuesday. I haven’t been writing in here because I have gotten myself absorbed in some good TV and by the time I come to bed it’s too late to turn on the light and write.
I feel like things are coming together more in my room – nearly got all the CDs in their cases – after more than two years! Now I’m trying to get rid of the CDRs and thinking about all the DVDs I have and what to do with them.
I’m hoping to keep up with all the backlog of 1994ever and other bits and pieces of writing. It’s been enjoyable to go through all those, thinking about the past. It still feels like it happened to someone else. Even brief glimpses of mundane things pop into my head and it makes me think about what times and events that I’m part of now will pop into my mind in the future.
Life feels quite mundane and predictable though I also feel quite happy and content.
I am so happy and grateful for our beautiful long grass on our driveway. It’s very beautiful and makes me feel at home.
The life which we received was given to us not that we might just admire it, but that we should ever look for new truth hidden from us.
John Milton
To-do list
I didn’t get to write last night as I was savouring watching The Night Of and wanted to finish it.
Anyway, over these two days, I did the 3 challenges and I’m slowly preparing myself for more. No real insights or deep thoughts – just soldiering on. I did do an entry for the Stoa Journal about what you would think if yesterday was the last day of your life – that was quite thought-provoking. I find doing the entries quite challenging and would to contemplate them more deeply. Maybe I will if I blog them sometime in the future.
I’m feeling like I’m more committed to completing the 1994ever writings and hoping to keep up with coinciding with the dates this year.
1994ever 