No Art – 22nd January 2024

We put down our brushes
In search of gold stars
Our stick figures meaningless
If we can’t get a pass

Our caves are now bare
Or full of the perceived good
Those words we told ourselves
Have taken away our ‘could’

No teacher or priest were we
But everyone laughed
Still, we lighted a spark
And cultivated our craft

Inspired by a newsletter snippet titled ‘Why you stopped making art’ from David Elikwu. Added to dVerse here.


Today I’m feeling:

A little more awake and active than yesterday.  Feeling fairly positive but also a little anxious as if something might come along to get me down.  On the edge.

Today I’m grateful for:

All the different options available for muesli to buy.  I was disappointed to not find my favourite crunchy strawberry muesli today but at least there were lots of different options available, though somewhat more pricey.  I took a mid-range option but contemplated some of the others for when I’m back in the black.

The best thing about today was:

Being able to take the foot off the gas a little with my classes today and stretch out the work so that they had more time to contemplate, share with each other and understand in their own time.  Sometimes I expect and push too much so I wanted to make life a little easier for us all.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I made a trip to Makro because I ran out of yoghurt this morning but was disappointed to find they were out of stock.  I had to buy a different brand to last for a few days before going back to check again.  I sure hope they continue stocking it because it’s the best!

Something I learned today?

This journalling app is trolling me.  It’s been 22 days of prompts so far of ‘What is something something something this year?’  Just because the calendar starts on the first of January a year is still a year from NOW, whatever the date.  Why do I have to spend a month thinking about 2024?  I’m always thinking about the future.  I guess journal prompts do get repetitive anyway but I find this one particularly annoying.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I gave Noah some extra support and encouragement for her negative attitude towards Teacher David.  She needs to stay respectful and at least learn from her experiences even if she’s not learning English.

25 THINGS ABOUT LIFE I WISH I HAD KNOWN 10 YEARS AGO
2. Don’t Complain. Complaining is the biggest waste of time there is. Either do something about it, and if you can’t, shut up about it.

This is something I have gotten better at over the years.  Being English it’s an extremely hard habit to break.  Moving to Australia in 1994 certainly helped as Aussies generally don’t put up with the stereotypical whinging poms.  I don’t remember ever being called out on it but I think their positivity rubbed off on me in general and the fact that there was certainly less to complain about in life in Australia, or at least it certainly seemed that way.

When I meet English people now though I find their complaining quite noticeable and can also fall right back into it myself.  It’s like a common bond we share.  Because I’m conscious of it though I do try to stop myself and counter any complaining with a positive view in response.

Yes, life is not all chocolates and roses but there’s no need to go on about it.  In fact, there’s no need to say anything.  Even if you are still thinking it, just keep your mouth shut.

I took this picture because I love to see freshly planted rice paddies like this. This is from Saturday – no new pictures today.

I Like To Move It – 7th March 2023

Our minds never stopped moving
When difficult roads need smoothing
What does not move is dead
Is what the greatest thinkers said
Let’s move ourselves to improving

inspired by Robert Greene’s Daily Laws and quoting Aristotle


Today I’m feeling:

Strangely filled with love and goodness. I was happy to wake up and exercise, feed our cats and whilst driving to work listen to a podcast about the Clash’s Sandinista album which reminded me how much I like that record.

Then I bumped into Paul at school who had just had a heart operation last week and was back at school already and though he looks about 60 he’s actually younger than me.

I met a few students and we made each other laugh, before getting in the car to go for coffee and listening to the Bangkok Podcast about an Englishman who went across land from the UK to Thailand via lots of other places.

Everything this morning just seemed interesting and worth knowing. I want to feel like this more.

Today I’m grateful for:

My little MacBook Air that I was able to quickly install Yousician and Capo so that I could bash around on the guitar again.

My iMac won’t even get to a login screen at the moment. I live in the vain hope of it starting again after a few days rest. But I fear machines are not humans.

The best thing about today was:

Getting a few lessons organised for next semester whilst sitting in the classroom with the few kids who came to sit there. They amused themselves with the usual things on their phones but I was happy to see one group of four who asked me to move as they were making a movie.

It was enjoyable to watch them acting especially when I asked them to do it in English and they made fun, imitating me, acting like I do in class.

I also had another really enjoyable talk with Hayden that made me think about going to visit him perhaps in April next year. He seems to be finding his feet in the world. Slowly we all work ourselves out.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

There was no yoghurt at Makro! Oh no, disaster. My mind swirled around, what if they never get it again? I’ll have to change my diet. Well, let’s see. I dropped into Big C and got a couple of medium-sized pots but they may only last a couple of days. Yoghurt with muesli is a super easy and fast breakfast for me though. I hope Makro gets it back in stock again.

Something I learned today?

Whilst reading Affluenza, it suggests analysing your childhood deeply to understand more about your behaviour when it comes to wanting things. This made me think that I don’t really think I have finished my childhood yet! Perhaps what I’ve been doing these last few years has been my own self-analysis and along the way I have ‘cured’ myself a lot of wanting bigger, better and more.

However, I do find myself contemplating buying a nice new computer. As the book suggests though, I have to ask myself ‘do I really need it?’ My old computer has served me well for these last 10 years and I look at buying another to last me that long too. In its time it has allowed me to explore many different things with its advanced capabilities. Perhaps now though I am more settled on what I want my computer to be able to do so I don’t necessarily need something that is so overpowered and costly.

Oh, anyway, I’ve switched topics here. The point is that I still feel like I’m in my childhood. I don’t have the sense of awe and wonder in the same way as a child but I think I do have the open mind to most facets of life and living. That could also be down to just being in the right place, mentally and physically, these days. I will keep working things out. It will be a shame to reach a point where I feel that everything is worked out, that may be the end of my childhood phase.

What decisions have I made recently that make me proud?

Today I decided that I won’t buy any more ice cream from LungChom to eat with strawberries and yoghurt. It’s just too delicious but fattening! Even just writing this is making my mouth water and I’m considering changing my mind already! No! This is a decision that I will be proud of.

I took this picture because all baby animals are cute, whether human, bovine or something else; though perhaps unsure about fish.

The Party – 14th October 2022

Temporary swarms buzz and circle
Conversations bend or disappear
Nests break and reconfigure
With new formations becoming clear
An idler on the roof above
Monitors the party in motion
Follows every dip and rise
As if floating on the ocean
Plans discussed, pleasantries exchanged
Jokes told to absurd laughter
Approaches made, compliments fired
And plans afoot for what comes after

a scene from Titus Alone by Mervyn Peake


To live is to war with trolls in heart and soul. To write is to sit in judgement on oneself.

Henrik Ibsen

Today I’m feeling:
Content and lazy
Today I’m grateful for:
Being able to easily buy snacks and treats for myself at shops nearby and having the money to do it. I’m far away from any major commerce but through the effort of 1000s of people, I can buy yoghurt, blue cheese, chips and toilet paper at stores just a 10-minute drive away.
The best thing about today was:
Listening to Kurws. Great band making interesting music for a decade or so. Today has been a very lazy day after returning from shopping at 10am. I haven’t done much of what I normally do but I’m fine with it. I’m getting used to this quiet life and not having a frenzy in my head of having to do things out of obligation, though I do recognise and appreciate that driving force at times. I know I will get that feeling back in a week or two when school starts again so in the meantime I’m enjoying the freedom to listen to as much music as I can.

I took this picture because… come on, how cute is that! This is from a couple of months ago but I’ve been so lazy to go anywhere and take any interesting pictures today. Even in the garden. I suppose I could have found something beautiful at the shops… Pictures are not usually on my mind when shopping though, usually just want to get in and out as quick as possible.

Not So Sure – 16th June 2022

What the hell was that dream?
Our little band of brothers
Was on the run from ‘the man’
Though why I’m not so sure

We were on the move
Trying to stay one step ahead
We had the guns and merch
It seemed too much to carry
We couldn’t load it all up in time
And one by one, we were picked off

Then it was just us two left
You and I became slaves
To the over-mother, naked
Forcing us to drink her ejaculations
In the hope of impregnation
For a new master race
To take over the changed world

2000AD is a future past
Eugenics, so last century
Dreaming a fever dream
Not so sure what’s real anymore


We choose to believe that the game is fair…we prefer not to think too much about the depth of our liberty to choose.

Robert Greene

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to get free milk coffee with my regular fruit yoghurt drink I like. Nice!

Fatman report

The Stolen Masks – 19th February 2022

I cursed the thieves the night my masks were stolen
Yet I found the freedom of loneliness a blessing
Now I was safe from ever being understood
Those who would enslave, now forever guessing

And so I became a madman as I let go my masks
When the sun kissed my face, I found my belief
*But let me not be too proud of my safety
Even a thief in a jail is safe from another thief

*Inspired and pilfered from Khalil Gibran’s parable ‘The Madman’
17th Apr 2024 – Submitted to WDYS


You cannot define a person on just one thing. You can’t just forget all these wonderful and good things that a person has done because one thing didn’t come off the way you thought it should come off.

Aretha Franklin

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to have found my regular breakfast of yoghurt and muesli. My modern version of cornflakes and milk.