Tag: youth
Listen to the old man talk
Cold Comforts – 9th February 2025
There are lookers and there are seers
And those blinkered of the mind
Some are do-ers whilst others are be-ers
Finally, those who choose to be blind
Some see magic within the leafless tree
Finding comfort in familiar concrete
As cold and unforgiving as they may be
Rainbows bloom all along the street
Some days, the sees will turn to looks
The busyness of time puts on the blinkers
Turning towards the turning page of books
The seers become the thinkers
The wanderlust begs the wonder lost
Learning is the unlearning to see
Expanding knowledge comes at a cost
Soon blindness becomes the reality
Inspired by writing at this post on the Spinning Visions blog and contemplating how we lose our sense of wonder as we age and become wiser, or at least, more filled with knowledge.
7th Nov 2025 – Shared with W3 – comfort – not quite to the prompt but adjacent at least.
Legend Tree – 16th September 2024
Is it safe to sit on old memories?
The musty heat binds spells
The hint of all possibilities
Returned to through dusted smells
The tales all began right here
The crossroads of the village meeting
Cherished moments soon disappear
Disruptions thankfully fleeting
Why did these histories not repeat?
They were where legends made
One or two remain on this street
But nothing else has stayed
Who now will push the swing,
Laugh at the falling from the tree?
To sit in the light the moon will bring
And who will remember me?
Submitted to the above picture at this week’s No Theme Thursday which brought to mind Polvo’s Light of the Moon (hence the penultimate line). The picture makes me nostalgic for my childhood village life, where legends were absolutely made, yet not repeated by the following generations.
Honey Glaze – 3rd February 2024
The orange sunrise
Perfectly reflected on the blue sky sea
Turning back inland
It’s a destruction from the river to me
Still, I have my god
That promises to set my children free
The skies alight
Where the others’ god wishes to be
The river run dry
Across those borders, we must flee
The honey glaze
Shines so that’s all anyone may see
*The honey glaze
On a fine crust of tolerated misery*
* David Elikwu
5th Oct 2024 – Shared with Weekly Prompts Colour Challenge – Mainly Orange
Today I’m feeling:
My regular Saturday exhaustion though Amy didn’t give me the opportunity to wallow as she had me up and busy as soon as I got up. By the time I got to coffee at midday, I was dying for it.
Today I’m grateful for:
Time spent in the hammock reading about Britain’s colonisation of India. The sun is still a little low so that the remaining trees still give some shade though the ants, spiders and flies did get annoying.
The best thing about today was:
At the winter festival, Amy was shocked at the tiny crop tops at one of the stalls and said ‘Oh my god, who can wear a top like that?’ And as she said that she noticed a girl wearing a similar-sized top and finished off with ‘Oh, a girl like her.’ I looked and saw a small skinny girl looking cute in a tight crop top. And it was then that I noticed that she is one of the grade 11 students that I often talk to. And Amy was surprised to see me fist-bump the girl she was just talking about admiring.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Amy was cranky from the get-go this morning and I came close to losing my cool but took deep breaths and soldiered on through, knowing that at some point it would be over and things would be good again.
Something I learned today?
Word is that the local council want our road widened before the rainy season starts which is good news though it will be a little inconvenient for us for a while.
Though we’ve been waiting for this before Amy starts thinking about doing business on our land it has become apparent that since the end of COVID, most students have not returned to the habit of going out and staying out to eat drink and talk like they used to. Many businesses are selling up due to a lack of customers after 8pm.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
Amy asked me to pick up some plumber’s tape to fix the joint under the sink. I was on my way to my first coffee but picked up the tape and took it straight home so that she can fix it quickly.
At times I was short in my replies to Amy as I was echoing her behaviour back to her but I shouldn’t do that.
Cuppa Freedom – 29th January 2024
Don’t tell the Yanks that they’re not free
That’s when they start killing you and me
What a different world we might be living in
If we had chatted over a nice cup of tea!
Today I’m feeling:
Pretty good. I’ve called in sick to work so that I can go to the hospital to get my medicine this morning so I’m enjoying some Utopian coffees first.
Today I’m grateful for:
A quick stroll through the local walking street market with Amy to get some dinner. I picked up some of my favourite salad that I always bought when Amy wasn’t here and I haven’t had it again in the three months since she’s back.
The best thing about today was:
Getting in to see the doctor without an appointment and whilst waiting I needed to go to the bathroom and by the time I got back it was my turn to see him.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
At one point I was watching something on TV and Amy decided to start calling people on her phone. It was impossible for me to hear whilst she was chatting away. Never mind – guitar time! I headed off to my room to play.
Something I learned today?
My old student August (she who used to love dancing) told me of her interest in playing guitar last year. Today she sent me a video of her and a couple of guitar classmates performing (singing too!) outside Central Plaza. I was quite surprised and also jealous!
I wish I was young and unafraid like her. Learning something is easier when you are young and getting up in front of people isn’t so nerve-racking unless you are really shy.
Of course, I did that too when I was young. I guess I just want to be young!
25 THINGS ABOUT LIFE I WISH I HAD KNOWN 10 YEARS AGO – 8. Don’t Care About What People Think. We all die in the end, do you really think it matters what people think of you?
Kinda connected to what I wrote above, in many ways I’ve never cared what people thought of me unless I knew I was doing something wrong. When I reached about 16 or 17, something changed in that I lost a lot of self-confidence, though still sometimes ran on bravado, which never served me well. And from there it was an ever-decreasing circle. Somewhere along the way and slowly but surely I got some confidence back, especially when I started doing music-related things in Australia.
I’m reminded of one occasion when I was at the front of the crowd at Frequency Lab videoing Limited Express (has gone?)’s set. As there was no space between the audience and the band and only a one-step stage it meant being in the way of things a little.
Later, Dave Harris asked me about being there and I said ‘I didn’t care’ to which he was rather taken aback but I clarified that I meant that I didn’t care if I got pushed and shoved out of the way by the raging mosh pit around us all. Of course, most people will take care not to smash into people filming or taking photos and I would too, to a certain extent but ultimately if I had missed some shots or worse still, something got smashed then I would have had only myself to blame.
If people are not happy about something then they can say something.
This reminds me of another occasion when I was at the Big Day Out one time and a girl in a bikini top was on the shoulders of her boyfriend. This annoyed a few boys who were standing behind them but instead of moving somewhere else, where there was still plenty of room they thought it would be a good idea to pull on the strings of the bikini top to try and undo and embarrass the girl. On their second attempt, I stepped in and told them to move if they weren’t happy and they soon got the message.
Anyway, back to not caring what people think. Most of us will reach an age where this will just naturally happen and we’ll no longer much care. We get settled in our ways and remain the way we are. Some of us (myself included) will remain firm and polite in most situations whilst others will be curmudgeonly and unbending. I guess that depends on one’s character.
If I’m completely honest, there will still be some occasions when I will care what certain people think about me.
The Innocent – 27th November 2023
The whitest wild eyes of youth
Lips that have never kissed
Always running away from truth
Without fear of anything missed
The smoothest skin, muddied hands
Boys and girls with crazy dreams
And no one ever really understands
What the problem really means
Loving and losing without a touch
A game on the playground of thought
Wanting it all and not wanting much
Is all that’s ever been taught
Today I’m feeling:
Much better though somehow time ran out yesterday and I was so tired so I woke up with a complete surprise when my alarm went off. I could’ve slept for a few more hours. But as soon as I got to school I got my energy back again. Now I’m only coughing a little bit.
Today I’m grateful for:
Nancy for helping to fast-track my visa so that I can lodge it tomorrow and get my visa extended until it’s completed. It means driving to Mae Sai tomorrow so I’ll miss my first class in the morning but should be able to get back for the afternoon.
The best thing about today was:
Feeling good in general despite being on the go for most of the day from morning exercise, getting to work, photocopying for my first class, teaching, writing and reading during the only real downtime of the day today, back to class then finishing, shopping, post office, back to the city after Nancy’s call, back home, setting up for Loy Kratong, preparing to tomorrow, playing guitar, studying, cleaning up all the Loy Kratong candles, finally into bed.
Lots of good interactions with people even though not all of them were about positive things. Again, not one thing stands out as best.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
6 of my grade 8 students didn’t really bother doing work in my class today which was very disappointing. I didn’t really get upset about it, though I did deduct points from them in the SchoolBright system and tell their homeroom teacher(who is pretty useless). I’m not going to bother pushing these kids much as I only see them once a week. They understand what my requirements are and it’s pretty simple. If they can’t be bothered, well, it’s up to them.
Something I learned today?
According to Al Jazeera Israel has released 117 Palestinians in the last 3 days and in that same time they’ve detained 116 new Palestinian prisoners in areas across the occupied West Bank!
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
I messaged Earn about her not getting distracted by other students in my class today which she is sometimes prone to do. She said it was because she was in a good mood, so I told her to try and bring her good mood to every class.
I messaged Funfai who told me that she won 3rd place in her tennis competition which was for the whole of Thailand. I congratulated her on all her good work.
I took some selfies and gave Kru Fang a farewell hug as today is her last day at our school. I hope she is happy and has a good future.
I was Amy’s Loy Kratong photographer and assistant with setting up and lighting candles. I happily did as she requested despite her shortness with me at times.
What do I want to focus on this week?
My focus at the moment has come around to consistent Thai study with ThaiPod101. But I’m already in the habit with that so I don’t need to focus particularly.
Same for exercise and playing guitar.
I should focus on finishing sorting out the piles of things in my room as I never got to finishing it. I made it to a functional and clean 85% leaving 15% of things that I didn’t want to make a decision on yet.
Agitation Free – 2nd September 2023
Your shining eyes, not yet shot
With the blood of your tears
The soft smooth skin betrays
The few numbers of your years
No danger found its way to you
Cushioned within a bubble
Innocence not yet agitated
Unaccustomed to dealing with trouble
The decisions made from now
Will show what’s been learned
The love that you deserve each day
Will be the love you’ve earned
Submitted to dVerse OLN #357
Today I’m feeling:
Tired but healthy. I just couldn’t make it up with my alarm and ended up with an extra couple of hours of bad sleep due to aches and pains in my shoulders from my exercise this week. But I got the washing on and have to go shopping and I’m mentally preparing for the stack of shirts to iron. I might even finish the vacuuming that I started last week but didn’t quite complete the kitchen and dining room!
Today I’m grateful for:
The Thai basil plant that Amy planted a few years ago but I was unable to keep alive since she’s been away. However, whilst pulling grass out from amongst the random cactuses we have growing I found a new Thai basil plant growing. Woohoo! I pulled the old one out and threw it over the fence and moved the new one into its place and hopefully, it will survive the move and grow as big.
The best thing about today was:
A relative feeling of accomplishment. I managed to get clothes washed and dried despite the big rain, though it did add another five shirts to the ironing pile which is something I didn’t get done today. I pulled up some grass and weeds, sorted out recycling, took it to our garage and got a haircut. Got all my shopping done too.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
It was time for my 4 or 5-month haircut (see below) as I’d been hacking at it myself recently and as I sat in the chair for the couple of minutes it takes to roll through my hair with the electric razor a big rain blew in with no end in sight. Ah well, a free shower and clothes wash for my ride home. The mountain rain is cold but the air is still warm so apart from drops stinging my face and blurring my glasses it wasn’t too uncomfortable.
Something I learned today?
By chance, I found an app called Sleepagotchi and recommended it to my sleepy struggling student. It needs a bit of setting up and perhaps a wearable device which I doubt she has but it looks like a more fun way of sleep tracking for teenagers than other apps I’ve seen. I’m trying it out to see how well it works.
What are my top three priorities for this week and why?
Finish grading my students as requested by the school. They’ve only requested to fill in 50% of the scores which is ridiculous as we have to have it all completed soon anyway. Why not just do it all? That’s what I’m doing anyway. As I’ve mentioned before grading is a farce here when no student is allowed to fail and 60% of the class must be graded 3 or more (out of four).
Pay the electricity bill, for obvious reasons. Though perhaps if someone is reading this in ten thousand years’ time and is unfamiliar with what may then be an antiquated technology, electricity is something that helps us live comfortable lives.
Get my shirts ironed. What a shit priority! Better to say; keep exercising, reading, writing, playing guitar etc. but they are all things I’m going to do anyway.
Take a view from above.
I sit in the hairdresser studying the hair across the floor. A sunburnt old man, probably younger than me is flat, laying back in the chair as the chatty hairdresser slides a cutthroat razor skilfully around his chin.
A clean tiled floor, two wooden park benches not designed for comfort for customers, and a fridge with a bag of fruit on top. Old dusty fans and faded pictures of landscapes and kings. There is so much dust on the old tape deck that it looks like it hasn’t been touched for years or would even work now.
The ubiquitous plastic chairs badly stacked next to a plastic sink in the corner, dirty from use at weddings, funerals, and dinners.
The room is full yet sparse with the rotating barber seat really the only signifier that this is a room for hairdressing.
The TV blares nonsensical (to me) words from the corner. An emotional lady talking about I don’t know what. Both the man in the chair and another old man younger than me waiting his turn are glued to the woman now tearing up but looks to me to be manufactured viewing fodder.
The little ginger cat is not sleeping here today. Where are you sleeping? Or are you chasing mice somewhere?
The stuffy air in here is filled with the hard-working old men’s sweat. Not particularly unpleasant but a positive reinforcement of satisfaction of work done. Lives worthwhile. The open windows and fan are merely feathering the hot heavy air. The stillness is reflected in everyone’s speed. There’s no hurry here.
Second in line, I’ll sit here happily waiting. I have things to do but they’ll get done when they get done.
I love the utility of this place. A room is only a hairdresser’s when there is someone cutting hair, otherwise, anything can happen here.
Am I nostalgic for poorer days, a voyeur into a past I escaped? I remember the days of make-do and mend and pulled myself sideways to avoid it. There is a sense of community in the struggle that no longer exists for those of us who found bootstraps to pull. The values of freedom and independence are a privilege that often finds us struggling still.
Remembering that the best part of the journey is what you find on the way and not what you find when you arrive pushes us onwards.
Let’s not be nostalgic, not be complacent. Let’s struggle more. Let’s revel in our simplified suffering. We are not facing life and death whilst simultaneously facing a slow life and death.
The woman on TV’s voice is quivering again and it’s my turn to get my hair cut.
Soundbyte Generation – 29th May 2023
SO … ten seconds … pass
UND … er the joker’s … glance
BY … the power up … above
TE …. ll him he’s … dreaming!
GEN … tle into the … night
ER … ror code … repeating
AT … death’s end, soon … here
I … wonder what … happened
ON … those days gone … by
1st Apr 2024 – Submitted to RagTag Daily Prompt
Today I’m feeling:
As I slept so early last night I woke up at around 5 am with the sunrise. That wasn’t enough to get me up though. However, I’d left the aircon on high and although I think it is only working as a fan it was sucking in cold air from outside and I was starting to shiver. I turned it off and tried getting back to sleep and just as the start of my dream felt like it was going to get interesting my alarm went off.
I got up, stiff and in some pain. I think the topple off the bike yesterday jarred something badly in my upper back and it’s pretty sore. Some exercise couldn’t loosen it up either. It’s the kind of sharp pain that stings with almost any movement and will be annoying all day. But I feel good, energised by seeing all the crazy kids and their stories this morning. Now I’m waiting at immigration for my 90-day report.
Today I’m grateful for:
Right now (whilst I’m at school) I’m grateful for the light rain and the anticipation of seeing how well (or more accurately, how badly) the tape on the gutter is working out. I hope it can at least hold some of the water back. (Later – seems it didn’t rain at home!)
I’m also grateful to the neighbours who swept up the grass that I had cut in the road. I was too stuffed to do it at the time and I was surprised this morning to see it all gone!
The best thing about today was:
Feeling happy and wanted at school. I feel that students appreciate that I am close with and care about them and that whilst breaking down the student-teacher barrier they still have respect for me.
I think some teachers don’t like my style in this way but it is something that helps me to enjoy the time that I am in school and I feel more closely connected with the kids than with other teachers.
I mentioned this to Bruno yesterday, that I can’t connect with many other adults here because I find them and their lives boring and that the pleasure I get from being around the kids derives from their unpredictable energy and ideas.
Sure, I miss being in that youthful state (minus the depression of course) so what better way to relive it than through the lives of my students?
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Recently whilst learning guitar, I’ve been playing along in the Yousician app for up to 30 minutes and then loading some of my favourite songs in Capo and playing the chords along with them so some days I might end up playing for 90 minutes or more.
Today I was getting frustrated with Yousician and not being able to play something until getting it right. Sometimes I feel like my fingers are working without me thinking and when I realise that I start thinking about it and then screw up!
Today I just couldn’t push through and wanted to stop. But after a minute or two I loaded some songs into Capo and after playing along to about five I started feeling more positive again. Like anything I guess, some days it’s pleasure and other days it’s pain.
Something I learned today?
I got a message from my old student Boss (the boy I took to the psychiatrist last semester). He messages me about once a week since he started at a new school but today surprised me by saying that he’s come back. I’m not sure why yet but I can guess maybe it was more stressful there.
Our school is super relaxed in comparison with others and I think it doesn’t help prepare students for the tougher realities of life once they leave, even just to other local schools.
It’s good for me in that I don’t need to be so rigid either.
Anyway, I’ll get his story soon enough no doubt.
What would I like to accomplish this week?
This week I hope to figure out the best way forward with using Quizizz in my classes, without having to change what I’ve already done. I think a clearer way forward will appear over time so that I tighten up my lessons overall.
I could set some targets for this or that but I think I’m doing well with all the little tasks I submit myself to every day without having to add too much more.
I guess I’d like to get this tightness out of my upper back by the end of the week though by tomorrow would be preferable.
Maybe I could get down to under 80kg before bedtime this week. I’ve been slowly moving in that direction for the last week or two.
Rose-Tinted Tears – 21st November 2022
Not understanding consequences
The future impossibly vast
Fire the only guide
With no lesson from the past
Naivety is nature
For kitten and the pup
A world set in wonder
To drink from this cup
Bitter-tasting tears
Wiped from cheeks so red
Whispered-coated rumours
Of words perhaps not said
Blind lead blind in battles
Swords laid to the heart
Voices deepen in anguish
As the youth set to depart
Wisdom-thickened skin
Hardened by the aches
Practised and repeated
Then learned from those mistakes
Where did they go
Those sadder lonely days?
Reminders of a time
Enjoyed in so many ways.
The truth I believe is that silence – like darkness – is a little unnerving but unlike darkness, the apprehension comes not from the fact that it conceals but in that it reveals.
Thomas J Bevan
Today I’m feeling:
Exhausted, a little happy but a little down.
Today I’m grateful for:
Amy being back in the kitchen and cooking up a storm. Before we got home we went shopping and found some vegan pork belly cubes and Amy cooked them and they were delicious.
The best thing about today was:
Chilling at House after a reasonable first-thing morning class. The kids were fairly well-behaved and most got their work done. I got a few things done whilst drinking coffee and enjoyed relaxing.
What book are you reading right now?
Quite a few different ones but the main one is 100 Selected Stories by Anton Chekov. Only just started yesterday but the first two stories were great.
A Half Head – 5th October 2022
There’s a pink and a black
Could this be the game’s end?
Snookered by lust unsatisfied
Does the old man need a new friend?
A foot in two rivers
And maybe the sea will never be found
A head in two halves
A vehicle in which to be drowned
…at the last we shall not know which was the dream – the years of plenty or the barren years that descended like a storm in the night and swept our youth away.
John Middleton Murry
Today I’m feeling:
Tired but chilled
Today I’m grateful for:
Having some extra sleep time. I felt a little regretful at wasting my morning but I really enjoyed it.
The best thing about today was:
The uni student with half pink and half black hair. I liked it. It was very striking and I wanted to take a photo but I wasn’t in the mood for talking today.
1994ever 