I am so happy and grateful for the wind. Hopefully, it can blow away the smoky air. It’s cold. It’s refreshing. It’s unusual.
It’s been a while since writing and it is something I’ve been trying to prompt myself to get back into. I’ve been a bit lost recently – having some negative thoughts that took me into myself.
A lot of this centred around George and while I know he is a nice friendly person and can be a good friend, something’s happened in my head that questions all that. Some of this was based on things that he said and things that I’d heard.
I knew that I shouldn’t judge on some of these things but it became a downward spiral due to such close proximity all the time. I withdrew into myself where I was actually quite happy.
I’m really enjoying working at the moment and the challenge the students give me every day. I feel more comfortable around them and less around George’s alpha-male-ness. Like I said – he’s not a bad alpha male, not a bad person or anything. I just have an aversion to alpha male behaviour. It’s not his problem at all, but mine. Anyway, I apologised to him for being a bit off (which also affected the way he was treating me) and things are more even again now.
13th Dec 2024 – Not long after this, George’s true colours became more apparent and the things that had bothered me had turned out to be good intuition. I do still think though that in some ways, I made it my problem and I should have just let him get on with it.
I’m keeping myself a bit more occupied with learning Thai and staying out a little less for coffee in the morning. I actually prefer to help the other teachers if I can.
Apart from that, I feel OK, though a little flat as we approach the end of this strange year. A lot has changed for the better for me, whilst I can see it has worsened for a lot of others. I need to completely tune out from the news and find some focus on other things I’d like to try.
I want to read more, and try drawing. Learn more guitar, Thai and how to play a keyboard. All these things seem possible.
One week goals
- Draw something from my room ✅
- Finish TCRAH ✅
- Clear guitar stage 4 on Yousician ½
- Complete more music learning ½
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