After writing all that yesterday, I went back in the house, and Amy was belligerently drunk, and talk soon gave way to raised voices and frustration. I really don’t enjoy talking with her when she is drunk like that, and my default mode is to cower away and avoid escalating further. I’m a wimp in that respect, I know.
Amy got very sad and unhappy, once again unable to see the good things in our life and only able to concentrate her thoughts around the negative things around – things which have very minimal impact on us. Amy used to be a happy drunk but now is ending up crying a lot more often and then drinking again because she feels sad.
Unfortunately, all this kept me awake at night, so I had very little sleep – whilst Amy had passed out by that time. In the morning, Amy was still very sad, remorseful and apologetic. We talked about things, and she realises that it is a problem that only she can fix and it’s in her head. She thought to stop drinking again for a while and to cut down on social media too.
It has become obvious to me that always looking at how terrible the world is, whilst something we would like to fix, just makes us feel more powerless and frustrated. This is why I stopped reading so much news many years ago, occasionally slipping back into that negative cycle but then catching myself and removing myself again.
4th Mar 2025 – As I add this entry to the blog, I decided to delete the two Telegram channels that I follow for news.
After all that, I struggled my way to work and actually had a productive and enjoyable day. When I got home, I was greeted by the neighbour’s dog, Tangmo, as often happens, and he brought more smiles to my face and cheered Amy a little too.
1994ever 