No Longer Delighted – 10th September 2023

The golden age has been and gone
We danced those glorious times away
Left exhausted after the final song
The fat lady now has nothing to say

Revival is just a nostalgic fail
That feeling cannot be repeated
At least alive to tell the tale
Yet feeling sad and defeated


Today I’m feeling:

A little tired and unmotivated for most of the day. A good reading day. I feel like I might be able to force myself to do a little workout after talking with Amy and before eating something.

Today I’m grateful for:

The tool (name unknown to me) that was lying around the garden (used previously to try to break down the termite mound in the front corner of the garden) which I used to dig out the tough grass that the gardeners were too lazy to get out from in between the bricks outside the kitchen. The temperature around 5 p.m. is nice now so I’ll try and do a little in the garden. This ended up replacing my exercise for the day.

The best thing about today was:

Reading Clive James’ biography about his childhood in Sydney. He lived in Kogarah which is just a suburb away from my first Sydney home in Allawah. Although I only recognise a few of the places he talks about I can get a feel from my own memories of the area.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

My motivation was lacking today and whilst I did a few things I hardly feel like I accomplished anything. I suppose I don’t need to feel like I accomplished things but I often feel like there are lots of things I could enjoy doing but can’t push myself to get up and go.

Something I learned today?

The city of Birmingham in the UK has declared bankruptcy. Things don’t seem too great there at the moment.

What are the most important moments in my life?

Boiled down to basics this would be moving countries and meeting the girls that I would spend my life with, for better or worse.

My old friend Fatty would often criticise me for changing my behaviour when I had a partner and from his perspective, I’m sure there’s some truth to that. I guess because of my father dying I felt my life was missing something and subconsciously knowing that one day my mum wouldn’t be there anymore, I held on closely to my girlfriends.

In my mind, I can kind of divide up my life into who I was with at the time. These people are obviously important to me.

I found this picture online because I was chatting with Baipad about pets and she said she liked border collies. Smart dogs. I still pine to have more animals but not knowing what the future holds makes it difficult.

Let me know your thoughts