Come in, my neighbour, share my bread Sit, eat, talk and listen to what is said This is the only meal that we need fed
Come in, my neighbour, you’re welcome here Sit, eat and talk and I’ll listen to what you fear The walls of our history will disappear
Come in, my neighbour, all will be well Sit, eat, talk and I, too, will tell Of the help I got each time I fell
Come in, my neighbour, the door is open Sit, eat, talk and I’ll consider words spoken We are the glue to fix the broken
Today I’m feeling:
Content
Today I’m grateful for:
Amy’s needles and cotton so I can attempt to fix the holes in my favourite t-shirts. I’m not sure quite how it will look afterwards, maybe even worse than the holes but anyway I’m grateful to have the tools to make an attempt!
The best thing about today was:
Some interesting LINE conversations with my students when I ask them what they would like to do when they finish school and university. Rista wants to be a volleyball player as her mum was denied the opportunity to do the same.
Aoey wants to be a tattoo artist which is a surprise to me as I don’t think I’ve ever seen her drawing. Anchan, a flight attendant, not unrealistic for her if she pushes herself and Bright wants to be a barista.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
The washing machine couldn’t spin dry the doona so I hung it out wet. No big deals today.
Something I learned today?
I’ve been reading a lot of news today and somehow feel that I have learned nothing.
What do I need to embrace about myself?
I think I’m pretty well embraced. Perhaps that is a sentiment of age, a resignation or acceptance of one’s own foibles. I know what I’m not good at and have a good idea of what I am good at.
I took this picture because the forecast was for a possible storm but this was all the skies could muster. It did make for a nice shot at least!
Now we are the Nazis We are ISIS, the terrorists We accepted hatred For our motivational bomb-schools Where lessons learned Were in books burned As we mistook our enemies To be the ones fooled
Now we commit genocide From romantic shelter Far away from freedom Forcing refugees at our borders No ifs, just rifle butts Force of power, force power cuts And bodies pile up Of those who were simply following orders
The stash of Pocky that Amy left here because she couldn’t fit it in her luggage when going back to Australia. Now I can use them as birthday gifts for my students!
The best thing about today was:
I want to say my students but they were probably also the worst thing about today too! They make me laugh and they make me cry.
Goya and Pat gave me friendship bracelets (just pieces of string).
Fah and Boty play jokes on me and Bright always enjoys having jokes played on him.
And of course, they all try to get away with murder when they think I’m not looking.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
The usual group of 1/7 students were late to my class again and I marked them as ‘absent’. I could tell 4 of them were debating whether to just skip class then but decided to stay though they weren’t very happy.
They soon cheered themselves up together though and were very happy when I rewarded them by changing their status to ‘late’ instead of ‘absent’.
They come up with all sorts of bullshit excuses for being late but realise they don’t fly when all the other students are always on time.
The work is so easy too but they don’t put it together that if they just cracked on with it they could finish the class that much sooner. They’ll figure themselves out at some point.
Something I learned today?
I learned that from 1971 until 1989 US-China relations were fairly cooperative except that for the US it was a case of an enemy of my enemy is a friend and the relationship changed again once the Soviet Union fell. It makes me wonder why we have to have enemies?
How can I be more mindful and present in the moment?
I think I need to calm my thoughts a lot more again. My brain is a little overactive recently and I need to stop looking at things like Twitter and YouTube as much as I do. It’s too easy to get wound up by the stupidities of the world when in actuality things are quite sedate around my own life.
I took this picture because our jacarandas are blooming and in the misty sunrise the purple looks luscious.
Baking soda which seems to have reduced the smell of cat pee in my mattress considerably. I may need another 10 kilos to completely fix it but hopefully, the mattress will start smelling of me and my sweat again soon.
The best thing about today was:
Was talking with a lady I often see at House who usually says hello in English but we never talked beyond that. I could tell she was quite chatty by the way she talks with Gui and today we started talking as we waited for Gui to get out of the shower (as we were technically there before he was open). Her name is Poy and she has pretty good English skills.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
My students blatantly copying work and just laughing when I point it out to them. What can I do? I just laughed with them too.
Something I learned today?
The New York Times ran an anti-China piece about how a top Chinese banker has been detained by police in China, trying to show that bad things happen there.
However, people from all around the world commented that it’s good to see a country not afraid to detain high-level officials especially if they actually have done something wrong because that rarely happens in so-called free societies as are believed to be in ‘the West’.
How have I experienced wonder or awe lately?
My life and feeling these days is quite steady and stable without the highs and lows that come with awe or negative thoughts. I was quite in awe as I did my bike ride last month as I found myself exploring new hills and valleys secreted away aroundabouts. A little bit of that was enhanced by a hit of acid but still, I was feeling awe and wonder.
I took this picture because the colour of the numerous flowers on this tree forced me to pull over as I was driving by. This is an acceptable drive-by shooting.
From orange to red, we’re ready To march off into four-cornered war Fortunes hold battle lines steady When it’s forgotten what we’re fighting for
And twenty years of resistance Have been unable to remove the stink Yet perhaps with a little more insistence Peace may be found with CODEPINK
Today I’m feeling:
Content. Happy that I have the afternoon free from classes.
Today I’m grateful for:
Lachlan and Mike for sending me the lost package replacement of the HCT album release from last year though they unfortunately also sent me vinyl instead of the t-shirt I ordered.
The best thing about today was:
Going to Daytripper and learning a new card game with some of the students there. The game is called Keng (I think) and after getting a quick understanding of the rules I played a few hands before I had to go and could see there was a deeper strategy involved.
I’ll play again if I see those kids there again. I’ve seen them there before but today was the first time I’ve been introduced.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Struggling to think of anything, except my students as per usual but even that didn’t bother me today.
Something I learned today?
From listening to Jello Biafra’s podcast I learned a little about Ukrainian history and if I remember correctly Ukraine is where the original Russians are from, something about Vikings moving down from the north.
I also put 2 and 2 together about the connection between Russia and the ‘rus’ in Belarus though I think I might’ve acquired that knowledge many years ago and since forgotten.
Whilst listening and considering these things it makes one wonder why we’re fighting over arbitrary borders that have changed over the years. One of the interviewee’s stories was about a family member who had lived in three different countries without ever moving house!
What are some of my favourite memories from past travels?
The extreme dry heat in Rhodes, the smell of a new world, swimming at the pool, riding around the island on a motorbike, getting naked at the pebble beach, the broken bottle of ouzo in my luggage on return.
Landing in Sydney for the first time, the smell of lemon-scented gums, riding on highways wider than I’d ever seen, through so much beautiful scrubland, mountains and rivers.
Landing in Guangzhou, China, clueless; again, the smell of a new world, wandering around the Forbidden City in Beijing and a ruined part of the Great Wall in the countryside, the food! The food! So many different places around China and crazy stories. One day maybe, they’ll be written down before forgotten.
The temples in Kyoto, the flashing neon of Osaka and Tokyo, the food! Beautiful walks in Nikko and the onsen in Minikami.
The crazy car ride from the airport in Kuala Lumpur with Epit, meeting up with Lex at Batu Caves, the start of a great friendship with Kimi and staying in his many residences over the years, the food, the monkies, the waterfalls, the monitor lizards.
In Thailand, the rice paddies, the valleys, the waterfalls, the beaches, the food!
I took this picture because my routine doesn’t vary that much and I’m here again at Daytripper though this time at a different table than usual. The temperature is cool due to the haze though it doesn’t seem to be from smoke or at least not the usual lethal smoke.
You can tell I’ve been watching too much Trailer Park Boys recently.
So I’m sending a letter from the past. It’s Feb 21st 2022 and I just talked to you this weekend. You sounded pretty upbeat and happy. You were helping your friend move house. Is that friend still around?
It was great to hear you sounding happy. And at least if things weren’t going your way you still seem to be being positive about them.
Right now, it’s been a couple of weeks since Amy came back to Australia. We miss each other a lot but support each other in what we’re doing. I wonder where we all will be when you receive this. Right now, I’m hoping I’ll still be chilling in Thailand, maybe even not working.
Suck up all the art Fill yourself with beauty Become a state of being Admit yourself this duty We need you here You’re needed now Your inquisition Inspires somehow
Within enrichment’s search Potential will be realised Corrosive forces negated Leaves creatives satisfied This is your art Your appreciation Forever fuelling Fires of inspiration
Today I’m feeling:
Surprisingly ok despite a lack of sleep last night.
Today I’m grateful for:
The traditional Thai brooms that I used this afternoon to sweep leaves off our paths and terrace. I’ve grown to like them over time. I used the prefer a hard sweeping brush but that wouldn’t be so useful for these leaves.
The best thing about today was:
Finishing my first class with about 30 minutes spare so I let the kids go and some invited me to play volleyball with them.
Later some of my students from my second class seemed in a jovial mood and happy to come to my lesson when usually they have other things on their minds.
Both classes were quite raucous but I was able to eventually guide them through and maybe even one or two of them actually learned something.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I’m still playing catch up on household chores and want to vacuum and mop the floors but I can’t get everything done. Or perhaps I’m just a little too lazy to knock it all off in one night.
Tomorrow afternoon I’ll have some extra time but I’m already thinking to go to Daytripper and chilling there!
When I’m thinking about things getting out of my control for this question I’m usually focused on emotional control and in general that has been quite stable recently.
Something I learned today?
I found out about a group of women called Codepink who have been protesting in the US against the war in Ukraine and against the sabre rattling and machinations of the war machine towards China. Good on them. Now they need to get the rest of the American people on board to convince their government against further escalations.
What am I thinking about right now?
The smell of cat pee! My students. Cat pee. Making the bed. Washing my hands. A snack? The smell. My own pee. My aching back. Today’s journal entries. A whole lot of thoughts about nothing in particular. My version of ignorance is bliss.
I took this picture because I’ve had to cover my mattress with Snake Brand Prickly Heat Cooling Powder in an attempt to cover up the smell of cat pee. I’m not sure how well it’s going to work or what side effects I might experience once laid down in bed.
The smell is overpowering. If there is a purgatory it is surely full of cat piss. Sitting and making video presentations over the weekend was reasonably enjoyable as far as having to do extra school activities goes though the conditions to make them were less than favourable and it wasn’t exactly made clear that we had to do them and why we had to be doing them there and then. In fact, it was my guess that it wasn’t necessary at all and by the end of the day nothing was said when neither David nor I had finished videos. I had already decided on what I wanted to do and that I would submit it later when conditions were more suitable. What has all this got to do with cat piss? One of our bastard cats (otherwise lovely) pissed all over my bed and it sank into the mattress. No matter how much perfume I sprayed on it and had beautiful new clean sheets it meant that every time I rolled over and awoke slightly that terrible smell brought me around and I started thinking about perfecting this damn video! I’m not sure I’ll make it – I suppose I could be doing it now. Well, that’s kinda my story for the weekend and despite only about five hours sleep I feel okay right now at 10 am. My first class was rowdy but okay. The kids were super happy to finish early and I went and played volleyball with them for a bit before their next class. I’m trying to figure out if I’m imagining the smell of cat piss or if it is somehow on my skin or clothes or just particles of ammonia stuck in my nose. I’ll have to figure something out for the mattress before sleeping tonight – I’d like to put it in the sun but worried other cats will come along and add to the odour.
8th Nov 2023 – I never made any video in the end and typically, nothing was said. None of the foreign teachers have been doing it so far. Keep smiling.
As the book opens, princesses are yawning Dead-eyed dogs trudge homeward Bamboo whistles in the wind Lulling all with the promise of reprieve Here at the edges of time The world diverges for those to clash Mad deviations keep the wheels greased For those dogs forever fighting The red sky denied, turns blue Filled with the joyful and forlorn Intermissions inspire reflection About the dogs that stalk the dark
Today I’m feeling:
Happy and better than yesterday.
Today I’m grateful for:
The Thai teachers around me who were helpful and also amusing. Despite having to ‘work’ all weekend it was interesting enough and time passed by quickly thanks to the pleasant atmosphere.
The best thing about today was:
Finding out about some cool features of some of the tools we were learning today, enough to make me consider paying the small fee to access them. They would help enhance my classes a little.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it? Not having enough time at home to get all the chores that should have been completed on time. How did I handle it? By doing them, but not on time. It’s not the biggest issue but it means leaving wet washing outside overnight.
Also, I wasn’t able to shampoo Tigger again and he really needs it. I hope to do that on Tuesday afternoon if nothing else comes up.
Although these things are not really in my control I don’t consider them to be that important that they are giving me too much stress. There was a time when I would’ve let these things bother me more.
Something I learned today?
From reading an online post I found out that perhaps Hanoi is comparable to Chiang Mai and HCMC to Bangkok. Armed with that information I think I would prefer northern Vietnam to the south. Not that I wouldn’t want to check it all out for myself.
The writer described Hanoi as more of a collection of villages that have become joined and it is still quick and easy to get out into the mountains and jungles.
How do my thoughts and emotions impact my daily life?
My thoughts need to counter my emotions so I can stay in control. I get better at this though that may be due to avoiding people rather than actual improvement in control!
I took this picture because I knew there weren’t going to be many other chances to take photos today. I dropped into Utopia for my coffee, drinking it quickly but enjoying it immensely. Art gave me a new blend today that was light but zingy.
It all started as a lark Making fun of those deserving It bites as much as a bark A record worth preserving
Upsetting difficult targets Crooks hiding in plain sight Questioning illegal profits Someone serving the people right
A freedom of expression Something democracy holds dear Suddenly under suppression For making a crime more clear
Unafraid to twist the knife Further for all to see At this risk of his own life And the right to remain free
A legacy built by crooks Hiding behind shirts and ties An ever-constant cooking of books And truths in fuzzy disguise
Though when money starts tasting sour A problem must be burned Friendly gangsters hold the power That the people want returned
A David and Goliath fight When many Davids band together And shank with all their might To topple corruption forever
Inspired by the firebombing of investigative YouTuber Jordan Shank’s (friendlyjordies) house and the corruption within the New South Wales government.
Today I’m feeling:
Tired, possibly getting sick. After visiting the psych last week we decided to try cutting down on my sertraline. I did that on Wednesday, taking just half a tablet. Then on Thursday I forgot to take it at all and didn’t sleep well that night due to my student being killed.
On Friday, yesterday, I took half again but was so tired I got into bed at around 8pm.
This morning I took half and started to feel dizzy in the morning. I know dizziness is a withdrawal symptom but with the possibility of getting sick too and not being able to relax this weekend, I don’t think I can deal with it back at school on Monday.
Today I’m grateful for:
The lunch provided at the hotel today which was more delicious than expected. Usually, there’s nothing I can eat at these kinds of functions and I would’ve happily gone without food but luckily there were two fish dishes, both of which were spicy. One had a dressing of red onions, lemongrass, ginger and chilli and I hoped it would knock the potential of this sickness out of me.
The best thing about today was:
Learning some new programs and applications that I can use for presentations. Despite only Thai being spoken all day it was simple to follow and interesting enough for me. At points, I was also able to catch up with some online reading as I waited for others to catch up.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
The main thing out of my control today is tiredness and the feeling of getting sick. I will handle it by going to sleep early again tonight.
Something I learned today?
Scientists have been able to splice genes in certain breeds of mosquitos so that they will become sterile and die out over a period of time. The question being asked now is whether to introduce it into the wild and what possible consequences could arise from it.
Where do I feel most at ease?
Despite smelling of cat pee right now I’m very obviously most at ease in my home. I love it.
I took this picture because I started using honey in my tea as we ran out of sugar. The honey I bought is pretty old and doesn’t quite dissolve properly anymore so this is what I find after leaving my mug in the sink overnight.
Finding a stash of whiteboard markers in the teacher’s room as both of mine ran out yesterday. I was hoping to squeeze the last drop out of them until the end of the semester as new ones are usually hard to come by at this time of year. I was surprised to come across a pencil case with at least four new markers in. I was kind enough to leave two!
The best thing about today was:
With letting the M2 kids have free time today to allow those that wanted to go to Big’s funeral I enjoyed sitting with them and watching them entertain themselves with games, drawing and dancing. I was happy to let them divert their thoughts though many of Big’s class were still subdued.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
There had been mention of some kind of conference this weekend that teachers would attend though both David and I had only heard it second-hand from other Thai teachers.
As usual, communication here is shithouse and I was quite prepared to just ignore it and claim ignorance. However, as we’ve had lots of free time with sports week and scout week I made a last-minute attempt to get information by sending a message to our department head, Kru Nu. She replied but only gave the location, nothing about times or agenda. Oh well, it’s better than nothing I guess.
The Chinese whisper is that registration is from 8am to start at 9am so I reckon I’ll get there close to nine and grab coffee at House on the way.
It’s annoying that one of the cats has sprayed on my bed right near the pillow and I was hoping to be able to wash the sheets this weekend. David also told me he had to cancel plans too. As we always say, this is Thailand.
Something I learned today?
I saw a crazy video of a train line in the US that is in the same state as the recent accident there (Ohio) and holy shit I couldn’t believe that a train could even travel on it. The lines zigged and zagged and dipped and rose and looked well in need of repair.
Later I read that there have been four derailments in the last two weeks, at least one of which also contained hazardous material. Along with a video of an overturned road tanker spewing toxic gases into the air, it’s what you’d expect in a third-world country.
What details am I noticing right now?
The powerful thudding bass from either Yerm or more likely some villager’s PA where they may be singing karaoke or Thai luk krung songs. I can only hear the thuds.
I’m sleepy and may even skip my shower. I can still smell the fabric softener in my Government Issue t-shirt despite having been wearing it for a week (though only usually ten minutes a day).
I can also smell the candle burning in the bedroom to counter the smell of cat spray on my bed.
I can hear the whir of the fan in my computer and in the power supplies for the camera system.
I can feel the crick in my neck from lying down while writing this. Also the ache in my wrists.
I’m also noticing the phone battery is about to run out.
Good night Jim Bob.
From the vaults, I took this picture last month on my bike ride. Just looking at it again now makes me want to go again!
Being able to spend another day on this earth. This week’s events bring life into a sharper focus.
The best thing about today was:
Working with 1/6 in the morning following up on the work they struggled with yesterday. My plan went well and slowly, slowly, most students got a better understanding of this minor grammar point I was teaching.
It made me happy to see the kid’s own pleasure at getting it and also made me realise I need to slow up on certain points and work out better ways to present them.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
After my first class going well I was ready to grab a coffee but as I was going to the stairs I saw a bunch of primary students coming down from the floor above so I stood and high-fived them as they went past. More and more came and some students who knew me were happy to see me, particularly Nana who always comes and gives me a big hug.
As they kept coming Gun from 2/7 came running around the corner and said ‘Teacher, you know about Big? He’s gone, he’s dead!’ and off he went running down the stairs past all the primary kids.
Now, Gun is a bad boy and likes it, so I was a little bit dubious though I thought something like telling a lie like that was even below him. The last of the primary kids came down and I started behind them. On the way up were Aum and Sunwa and when they saw me they just burst into tears and hugged me. I took them up to the classroom and soon other students followed all looking sad, shocked and teary.
Gun appeared again and wanted to show me his phone. I knew what was coming and sure enough, he showed me a picture of Big, who had been hit by a car on his motorbike, his body lying at a weird angle on the side of the road. I told Gun to stop showing this and not to share it but unfortunately, pictures like this are normal here and even on the front pages of newspapers and websites. I don’t even know where Gun got the pictures from.
More kids came, some only then finding out the news and it was a very sombre atmosphere. I hung around and comforted some or just sat quietly watching everyone. I could see one or two of the boys who were Big’s closest friends were particularly distraught.
Eventually, David came and I left for my own class with 1/7 and some of them already had seen RIP pictures shared on Facebook. I took the class slowly and the kids were good today as I promised they could go early if they listened and finished the work. I talked more with a few students outside and came home.
I wasn’t particularly close to Big as he often didn’t come to my class or would skulk in late without me even noticing him but he still occupied a small space in my brain that will no longer be filled.
I feel sad that someone so young is lost like that and sad at the grief of his friends and I feel in some way his co-students are sad because they know that it could just as easily be them. Big is not sad, but we all are.
Something I learned today?
I watched a wingsuit video today of people jumping from a plane over the Maldives. Looking at the islands below it seems to me that the generic photo used to advertise the sea houses over sparkling clear blue water is right next to the airport. You could just get off the plane and walk across the runway and into one of these houses. I would guess the airport is not that busy but it also shows that the idyllic picture is not quite what it seems if you could see the full 360-degree view!
23rd Feb 2023 – Looking at a map it seems like almost every island of the Maldives has an airport so I guess wherever you might be there would be the occasional rumble of planes going by.
What song takes me back to a specific memory?
Impossible! Too many songs, too many memories. This question is suitable for a casual music listener. I’m transported to so many different parts of my life depending on what I’m listening to.
I took this picture because Tigger loves our house so much. He can lie anywhere and feel good. I do have to double-check sometimes to make sure he’s still breathing!
Among a single soft bed Nothing stirs except The slow rise and fall as the cats breathe
Their three minds Like closed doors To the bedroom containing three cats
Awake, stretch, turn and re-settle These times of little drama
Two cats slumber together As one Three cats slumber together As one
No favouritism at the sight Each purrs with affection Soft eyes stare at mine Before closing again To mouse dreams
inspired by the first five stanzas of Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Blackbird by Wallace Stevens
Today I’m feeling:
Reasonably happy and satisfied.
Today I’m grateful for:
A little breeze this evening that will hopefully blow away some of this smoky polluted air. The forecast is for many days of storms but with a 0% chance of rain! (As I finished writing this with Kim sitting on my lap there was a peal of thunder and the sound of rain on our roof! Hooray! Kim has gone back to sleep under the doona!)
The best thing about today was:
Relaxing a little with my grade 8 classes. I didn’t push them too much and allowed the class to end early knowing that I can test them on the work on Friday. My afternoon grade 7 class though was more taxing as they looked at me blankly when I asked them to find the verbs in some sentences, not knowing what a verb was until I gave them the Thai translation for the word ‘verb’!
This is another lesson for me to re-evaluate what and how I teach next year. I’m almost fully resigned now to let the students keep their phones, making each lesson very simple, with some element of artistic output so that the result can look good at least and then I will just grade the students on whether they do the work or not.
Having said that I hope that next year’s classes are of a similar level of comprehension at least. I feel like I’m at the point of just giving in to the easy way out. To make my life easier.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
This is more a continuation of the above but many of my students today still lack a serious comprehension of (what I generally consider) simple tasks and instructions, or even just making connections throughout what we have already studied this semester. I’m feeling resigned.
But I did come home with the knowledge that I need to change my approach. If I have to make life easier for my students, I have to make it easier for myself too.
Something I learned today?
A recent poll found that 56% of Taiwanese people distrust the USA and worry that they could be in the middle of a potential war that they didn’t ask for.
What small task brings me satisfaction?
What is a small task? Exercise? Feeding the cats? Reading? Cutting nails?
Ok, I’m going to say vacuuming my floors and washing my sheets. I can go do a long time without doing either so I do feel satisfied with a clean floor and fresh-smelling sheets.
Aing took this picture last week because I was the only one of us brave/dumb enough to jump into the waterfall. I only just got this picture and was quite shocked at how big the waterfall is and how small I am in comparison.
1994ever 